Mennonite Church Unveils New “Choir of the Runny Noses”


After two years of suppressing every cough, sneeze, and sniffle, the folks at Third Mennonite Church of Kitchener have decided to let it all out and make a joyful noise unto the Lord.

“I hear a snort over there from Mrs. Weaver. Let it all out! There you go!” coached choir director Mrs. Eby. “Ahh, yes, I can hear you in the back, Mr. Funk. Sniff. Sniff. Very nice. Don’t bother with the Kleenex.”

Sniffles could be heard throughout the sanctuary, which really added a surround sound experience.

“We’re going to try ‘Peace in the Valley’ now. Okay, I want the sopranos to sneeze twice and then sniffle and can I get the tenors to snort three times in a row and then let out a huge hoarking cough?” said Mrs. Eby. “Lovely, lovely, that’s good. You’ve got it.”

The Choir of the Runny Noses will be practicing all this fall in preparation for their big performance of Handel’s Messiah this Christmas.

“Ahh, it’s so lovely to hear the sounds of church once again,” said Eby. “I really missed this.”

Mrs. Eby is also planning to get the young ones involved with a special performance by the Third Mennonite Children’s Choir of Runny Noses and Wet Sleeves.

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