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Unger Games

Unger Games

Unworn James Reimer ‘Pride’ Jersey Turned into Lovely Mennonite Quilt

March 20, 2023 Andrew

FRESNO, CA The quilting club at the Fresno First and Last Mennonite Church received an anonymous donation of fabric this past week, which they immediately set out to fashioning into a wonderful new quilt. “I […]

Unger Games

Winnipeg Jets Players Offered Part Time Jobs at Portage Place

March 11, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Rumours are swirling about the potential sale of Portage Place to True North, which is really exciting for all the Jets players clamouring to get part time custodial jobs. “I realized hockey wasn’t […]

Unger Conviction

Church AGM Scheduled to Coincide with Most Important Game of the Season

February 23, 2023 Andrew

NEWTON, KS The Eighth Mennonite Church of Newton, Kansas obliged all its members to show up and approve the budget right in the middle of the big game this past week. “Yeah, well, too bad. […]

Unger Games

Jennifer Jones Finds Curlers in Altona

February 22, 2023 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Manitoba’s greatest athlete Jennifer Jones has scoured the province for curlers and managed to find a pair in Altona of all places. “People kept telling me, ‘Jennifer, if you want a set of […]

Unger Games

Spy Balloon Drops Bogus Penalty Flag Onto Field During Dying Minutes of Super Bowl

February 13, 2023 Andrew

GLENDALE, AZ With less than two minutes to go in Super Bowl LVII, an inexplicable penalty flag mysteriously appeared on the field, leaving officials wondering what to do. “Hey, Harold, where’d that flag come from?” […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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