WINKLER, MB Hours after Winkler’s-own Tristan Peters was named a 2026 American League All-Star, the Chicago White Sox announced they’d be replacing all the other players with good hearty farm boys from southern Manitoba. “Hey, […]
FRESNO, CA Guillermo Toews, a soccer player from Paraguay, got FIFA’s first ever red card for yawning this week after appearing visibly bored during his match against Turkey. “Hey, if the fans are bored that’s […]
SEATTLE, WA After a last second phone call from Donald Trump, FIFA President Gianni Infantino has agreed to let the US President act as head referee for tonight’s match in Seattle. “He knows so much […]
HOUSTON, TX Team Canada lost 3-nil to Morocco last night after failing to get enough pucks to the net. “Plus they just weren’t getting in there on the forecheck,” said sports expert Jeremy Goertzen. “I’d […]
BOSTON, MA Soccer experts are attributing Paraguay’s shocking victory over Germany last night to the prayers of 100,000 Mennonites in the Chaco. “I can’t think of any other way this could have happened,” said soccer […]
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