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Month: August 2017

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Lady Uses Google Earth to Spy on Neighbours

August 31, 2017 Andrew

BLUMENGART, MB Mrs. Kleinsasser of the Blumengart area has discovered a fancy new tool to find out all the latest news about the neighbours: Google Earth. Ever since being shown the online tool by her […]

The Daily Bonnet

Your Free Mennonite Horoscope for Today

August 30, 2017 Andrew

IF TODAY IS YOUR BIRTHDAY Oba, you are one lucky Mennonite. Be open to receiving whatever frozen mystery item Grandma Penner might pull out of the freezer and attempt to microwave for you. You will […]

The Daily Bonnet

Henderson Highway Permanently Closed to Motorized Vehicles

August 29, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Henderson Highway, in the heart of Winnipeg’s famed Anabaptist Quarter, is being permanently closed to motorized vehicular traffic this week after a request from concerned members of the Mennonite community. “We’re tired to having to […]

The Daily Bonnet

7 Signs that Mennonite Man is Just Not that Into You

August 28, 2017 Andrew

Ladies are always looking to hook up with an eligible Mennonite man. There’s just something about the hands of a man who catches chickens for a living that’s simply irresistible to a lot of gals. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Advice from a Mennonite IT Guy

August 27, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB After being down for almost 72 hours, the elders at the Steinbach EMMBC church are taking it as a “sign from above,” that the Daily Bonnet is “just no good yet.” The elders […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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