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Unger Games

Connor Hellebuyck Leads League With Impressive 0.00 GAA So Far This Season

October 5, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB Winnipeg Jets superstar Connor Hellebuyck has been lights out so far this season, leading the league with an impressive 0.00 Goals Against Average. “He hasn’t let a goal in yet all year,” said […]

Unger & Thirst

Trump Promises Mennonites $5000 Worth of Bubbat if They Vote Republican

October 3, 2026

NEWTON, KS President Donald Trump is trying to win over the Low German Mennonite vote by promising the most lucrative bribe he could think of – bubbat. “Quite frankly, I don’t even know what it […]

Unger Conviction

  • Dusty Springfield Song Haunts Pastor’s Son His Whole Life
    September 24, 2020
  • Daring Mennonite Couple Decide to Share a Bulletin this Sunday
    November 6, 2023
  • Mennonite Man “Crosses the Floor” to Join the Lutherans
    November 7, 2025

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Woman Guesses Wordle in First Try
    January 19, 2022
  • Mennonite Grandma Smuggles Baking Powder into White House, Plans to Make Zwieback
    July 6, 2023
  • Hundreds of Horrified Mennonites Served ‘Pasta’ for Easter Sunday after Kitchen Mixup
    April 17, 2022

Unger the Influence

  • Trump Vows to Make Washington Reflecting Pool as Beautiful as Lake Winnipeg
    June 17, 2026
  • Trump Calls Andrew Unger “Untalented, Totally Not Funny,” Demands Cancellation of The Unger Review
    May 31, 2026
  • Trump to “Completely Destroy” Military He “Completely Destroyed” Last Week
    May 30, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Steinbach Celebrates 150 Sinless Years
    October 17, 2024
  • A Collection of Daily Bonnet Christmas Articles
    November 14, 2017
  • Manitoba Reports First Case of Broeskypox
    May 21, 2022
  • Mennonite Couple Divorces After Discovering Common Ancestor
    January 25, 2018

Trending

  • Electrician Busy Explaining to Concerned Mennonites what ‘AC/DC’ Really Means
    September 21, 2026
  • Mennonite Woman Ruins Perfectly Good Cinnamon Buns By Adding Raisins
    September 20, 2026
  • Ed Sheeran Drops Mennonite Choir from North American Tour
    September 19, 2026
  • Australian Pastor Apologizes, Says He Shouldn’t Have Preached Hourlong Sermon with Diarrhea
    September 18, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • ‘Huge Adele Fan’ Discovers She’s Actually Been Listening to Lauren Daigle for the Past Five Years
    May 16, 2022
  • Climber Scales Credit Union Building Without Safety Gear
    January 27, 2026
  • Beach Boys Record New Hit: “I Wish They All Could Be Chihuahua Girls”
    August 27, 2022
  • New ‘Plandemic’ Doc is the Comedy Smash Hit of the Season
    May 8, 2020
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Police Raid Home Suspected of Hosting Wild All-Night Tupperware Party

October 2, 2026

AI Claims It Won’t Kill All Humans and There’s Nothing to Worry About

September 27, 2026

Hundreds of Legal Potash Dispensaries to Open in Saskatchewan

September 26, 2026

Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg

September 24, 2026

Left Lane Between Steinbach and Blumenort to be Designated “Slow Minivan Lane”

September 22, 2026

Unger Games

  • Connor Hellebuyck Leads League With Impressive 0.00 GAA So Far This Season
    October 5, 2026
  • Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg
    September 24, 2026
  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026
  • Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’
    September 13, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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