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Unger Games

Donald Trump Tells Iran He Holds All the Cards

May 13, 2026

WASHINGTON, DC In his most emphatic statement to date, US President Donald Trump has told Iranian authorities to give up because he holds all the Dutch Blitz cards. “I’ve got all the cards. All the […]

Unger Suspicion

90-Year-Old Grandma Emerges Victorious in Senior Assassin 2026

May 12, 2026

ALTONA, MB Mrs. Dorothy Wiebe of Altona was the last senior in town not to get sprayed with a water gun this week and has been crowned winner of Senior Assassin 2026. “I knew they […]

Unger Conviction

  • Email Scandal Rocks Tiny Mennonite Church
    July 26, 2016
  • Yet Another Mennonite Church Split Blamed on Yoko Ono
    February 12, 2021
  • Mennonite Teens Survive Boring Sermon with New Nintendo Switch
    June 7, 2025

Unger & Thirst

  • Calculating the True Cost of Vereniki
    February 15, 2020
  • After Last Night Hanover Municipality Renamed ‘Hangover’
    January 1, 2018
  • Mennonite Couple Can’t Figure Out Whether to Go to Winkler or Morden Chicken Chef
    May 17, 2017

Unger the Influence

  • Mennonites Hired to Drain the Strait of Hormuz
    March 17, 2026
  • Conservatives Vote to Reaffirm Party Leader Mark Carney
    March 6, 2026
  • Funk and Penner Endorse Penner for Goertzen’s Job Reports Peters from Reimer
    March 1, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Altona to Erect Massive Jackson Pollock Right Next to Big Van Gogh
    August 16, 2020
  • New Policy Seen as an ‘Attack’ on Traditional Mennonite Cousin-Marriage
    June 7, 2016
  • My Grandma Doesn’t Believe This Photo Will Reach Around the World
    March 10, 2017
  • Mennonite Couple to Replace Harry and Meghan at Buckingham Palace
    January 13, 2020

Trending

  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026
  • Mennonite Man Finally Takes Off His Winter Tires
    May 4, 2026
  • James Comey Indicted Over ‘606 47’ Seashell Photo
    May 3, 2026
  • Hog Farmers Concerned as Manitoba Seeks to Ban AI
    May 2, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Mennonite Woman Watches ‘Black Panther’, Can’t Figure Out Which One Is Peter Sellers
    June 8, 2018
  • Mennonite Woman Consults ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ for Wardrobe Advice
    February 15, 2017
  • Mennonite Disaster Volunteers Brought in to Fix Ticketmaster
    November 28, 2022
  • Mennonites Rejoice as NHL Finally Bans Military Appreciation Jerseys
    June 24, 2023
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Mennonite Man Sets Record for Tallest Bowl at Mongo’s Grill

May 10, 2026

Nationwide Cottage Cheese Shortage Causes Mennonites to Compromise Cherished Values for First Time Ever

May 9, 2026

Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”

May 8, 2026

Mennonite Man Doesn’t Have Enough Space on Census Form to List All His Kids

May 7, 2026

Tariffs Move Leafs’ Pick from First to Sixty-Seventh

May 6, 2026

Unger Games

  • Donald Trump Tells Iran He Holds All the Cards
    May 13, 2026
  • Tariffs Move Leafs’ Pick from First to Sixty-Seventh
    May 6, 2026
  • Taber Arena Will No Longer Be Flooded With Schmaunt Fat After Winning Kraft Hockeyville
    April 5, 2026
  • Peters “Makes It to First Base” Giving Hope to Young Men Across Winkler
    April 4, 2026
  • Jason Kelce Spotted on Manitoba Farm in Full Mennonite Attire
    March 11, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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