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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Women are Shedding their Düaks During Heat Wave

July 12, 2026

STEINBACH, MB Thousands of Mennonite woman descended AD Penner Park this afternoon to watch the local EMMC-EMC-MC slo-pitch tournament, but soon found they had to make a few adjustment to their attire. “Oba, I’ve experienced […]

Unger Games

White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup

July 11, 2026

WINKLER, MB Hours after Winkler’s-own Tristan Peters was named a 2026 American League All-Star, the Chicago White Sox announced they’d be replacing all the other players with good hearty farm boys from southern Manitoba. “Hey, […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Deacon Arrested for Manspreading Across Entire Church Pew
    August 24, 2017
  • Friendly Bulletins Welcome Lonely Hymnal
    March 21, 2025
  • Mennonite Woman Dies, Donates Her Organs
    November 29, 2018

Unger & Thirst

  • Steinbach Man Gets Totally Hammered on Welch’s Grape Juice
    July 8, 2016
  • “Den of Iniquity” Filled with Cool Nice People Drinking Beers and Appreciating Art
    December 16, 2021
  • Mennonite Woman Shunned for Not Making Her Own Crusts
    January 21, 2020

Unger the Influence

  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026
  • James Comey Indicted Over ‘606 47’ Seashell Photo
    May 3, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • What if Alexa was Mennonite?
    April 4, 2018
  • Clearbrook Votes to Secede from Abbotsford
    February 7, 2017
  • Mennonite Man is Completely ‘Full of Schmidt’
    October 11, 2023
  • Long Lost Mennonite Man Discovered Puttering in the Garage
    February 25, 2024

Trending

  • Canada Loses to Morocco After Not Getting Enough Pucks to the Net
    July 5, 2026
  • Surprises Abound on Taylor and Travis’s Guest List
    July 4, 2026
  • Area Man Spends 10 Hours Trying to Figure Out Hotel Shower Controls
    July 3, 2026
  • Area Man Has No Idea His AI-Generated Poster is a Total Shit Show
    July 2, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Credit Union Accidentally Gives Loan to Englishers
    October 14, 2017
  • Winnipeg Couple Divorce After Conflict Over Air Conditioner Temperature
    July 22, 2024
  • Mennonite Woman Forces Husband to Watch ‘Marley and Me’ Yet Again This Weekend
    October 14, 2024
  • Movie Set in Winnipeg Accidentally Films in Summer
    October 2, 2024
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Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning

July 10, 2026

Mennonites Gather at Bird’s Hill for Annual Winnipeg Falk Fest

July 9, 2026

World Cup Tourists Fall in Love With Schmaunt Fat

July 8, 2026

Mennonite Woman Struggles to Keep Dandelions, Quackgrass, and AI Data Centres Out of Her Garden This Year

July 7, 2026

FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match

July 6, 2026

Unger Games

  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026
  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026
  • Canada Loses to Morocco After Not Getting Enough Pucks to the Net
    July 5, 2026
  • Paraguay Defeats Germany Thanks to the Prayers of 100,000 Mennonites
    June 30, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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