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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Lucks Out With New Licence Plate

July 16, 2026

This is real. I know, I don’t report real news very often. A good Mennonite would never purchase a vanity plate, but, hey, when you can get one for free, why not? I guess we […]

Unger Games

Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again

July 15, 2026

ATLANTA, GA Mennonite soccer fans across South America were cheering against Argentina this afternoon, only for England to totally “fe’schlucke” at the last minute. “Diewel, I’ve never seen a team fe’schlucke themselves like that before,” […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Man Accused of Flipping Off the Pastor
    November 9, 2023
  • New Study Shows Mennonites Feel 6% More Guilt Than Catholics
    October 2, 2016
  • Sanctuary Evacuated After Mennonite Man Farts in Church
    October 24, 2021

Unger & Thirst

  • Grandkids Still Reluctant to Go Anywhere Near Grandma’s Plumi Moos
    March 29, 2018
  • Oma Toews Accidentally Uses Liquor Store Bags for the Tutes this Year
    December 24, 2020
  • Steinbach Residents to Vote on Whether to Acknowledge Each Other in the Liquor Store
    May 31, 2016

Unger the Influence

  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026
  • James Comey Indicted Over ‘606 47’ Seashell Photo
    May 3, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Top 10 Menno Lit Satire Articles
    June 9, 2025
  • Grandkids Horrified as Grandma Reimer Texts “I’m Mennonite AF”
    June 5, 2020
  • Rhoda Janzen’s Little Black Dress Fetches $5 Million on eBay
    October 24, 2017
  • Jantsied Extends Border Closure with Ditsied
    December 17, 2020

Trending

  • Mennonites Gather at Bird’s Hill for Annual Winnipeg Falk Fest
    July 9, 2026
  • World Cup Tourists Fall in Love With Schmaunt Fat
    July 8, 2026
  • Mennonite Woman Struggles to Keep Dandelions, Quackgrass, and AI Data Centres Out of Her Garden This Year
    July 7, 2026
  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Mennonite Family Adopts ‘Baby Yoder’
    January 17, 2020
  • Mennonite Superhero ‘Barkman’ Saves the Day!
    September 4, 2019
  • New Bombers Quarterback Inspired By Patrik Laine’s Mennonite Beard
    June 23, 2018
  • Baal Really Excited for New Statue in His Honour
    May 17, 2026
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Folk Fest Attendee Sells Spot in the Shade for $500 a Square Foot

July 14, 2026

Thousands of Canadians Flock to Mexico to Cool Off this Summer

July 13, 2026

Mennonite Women are Shedding their Düaks During Heat Wave

July 12, 2026

White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup

July 11, 2026

Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning

July 10, 2026

Unger Games

  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026
  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026
  • Canada Loses to Morocco After Not Getting Enough Pucks to the Net
    July 5, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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