The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger
Unger & Thirst

Schmaunt Fat Soars to $100 a Barrel

March 10, 2026

LEAMINGTON, ON When the Leamington Exchange ended trading on Monday, the price of schmaunt fat closed at a record high of $106.06 a barrel, smashing the previous record. As a result of soaring schmaunt fat […]

Unger & Thirst

McDonald’s CEO Reluctantly Tries New Vereniki Product

March 8, 2026

CHICAGO, IL After testing out the product for several months in rural Saskatchewan, McDonald’s CEO Chris Kempczinski announced in a viral video this week that the The Big Pierogi would be rolling out in stores […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Pastor Scores with 1.6 Seconds Left Sending Sermon into Double Overtime
    May 5, 2025
  • Steinbach Streets Clogged at 9:30 AM on a Sunday
    August 1, 2025
  • Mennonite Pastor Signs Two-Year $25 Thousand Extension with Local Church
    October 11, 2025

Unger & Thirst

  • Biden Weighs Nationwide Ban on Gassy Mennonite Food
    January 13, 2023
  • Tim Hortons Raises Starting Wage to 15 Timbits an Hour
    January 13, 2018
  • Buns Discovered in Mennonite Grandma’s Freezer Carbon Date to 5 Million Years Old
    February 3, 2018

Unger the Influence

  • “Up is Down” and “Down is Up” New Report Suggests
    January 26, 2026
  • GTA Prepares for Largest Deposit of Snow Since the Rob Ford Administration
    January 25, 2026
  • Every American School to be Supplied with their Very Own Dairy Cow
    January 24, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Grandma Disappoints Children with Honest Birthday Cards
    February 16, 2020
  • Mennonite Man Convinced New Pfizer Shot Gives Him More Stamina During Meddachschlop
    May 17, 2021
  • A Guide to Those Mysterious Swiss Mennonites (for Russian Mennonites)
    January 27, 2019
  • New Vertical Money Confuses Mennonite Man
    August 9, 2019

Trending

  • US Launches Major Attack on the Epstein Files
    February 28, 2026
  • American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey
    February 26, 2026
  • Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal
    February 25, 2026
  • Carney to Melt Down All of Canada’s Unwanted Olympic Medals to Build High Speed Rail Line
    February 24, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Millions Flee “Communist” Canada for a Better Life in Russia
    May 2, 2021
  • Kitchener-Waterloo to Be Renamed Waterloo-Kitchener
    March 7, 2017
  • Elon Musk Launches Buggy Full of Mennonite Elders Into Space
    February 10, 2018
  • Libertarian Accidentally Walks Down Public Sidewalk
    November 24, 2020
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

Conservatives Vote to Reaffirm Party Leader Mark Carney

March 6, 2026

High Valley Fills Winnipeg Theatre Entirely with Rempels

March 5, 2026

World War III Finally Gives Mennonites the Chance to be Conscientious Objectors Again

March 4, 2026

Frugal BC Mennonites Excited for the Permanent Daylight Savings

March 3, 2026

Funk and Penner Endorse Penner for Goertzen’s Job Reports Peters from Reimer

March 1, 2026

Unger Games

  • American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey
    February 26, 2026
  • Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal
    February 25, 2026
  • Carney to Melt Down All of Canada’s Unwanted Olympic Medals to Build High Speed Rail Line
    February 24, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Reassures Jets Fans He Won’t Ever Play That Well Again
    February 23, 2026
  • Massive Stockpile of Silver Medals Discovered at Local Thrift Store
    February 22, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved