The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger
Unger & Thirst

Thousands of Mennonites Barely Clinging to Life During Nationwide Cottage Cheese Shortage

August 14, 2026

SASKATOON, SK Thousands of Mennonites are barely surviving this summer after a shortage of cottage cheese has left them without the necessary sustenance for life. “My Henry’s a fighter, but I’m just not sure how […]

Unger Suspicion

World’s Sturdiest Ice Maker Lasts a Record Three Days

August 13, 2026

LEAMINGTON, ON Mrs. Janzen impressed everyone in Leamington this afternoon after the ice maker on her brand new refrigerator lasted all the way to mid-week. “I’ve never seen such impressive performance,” said Mrs. Janzen. “Normally […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Man Pays Tithe in Chickens
    January 26, 2017
  • Mennonite Church Introduces New See-Through Coffee
    February 18, 2024
  • Area Couple Hands Out Gospel Tracts to Trick-or-Treaters
    October 31, 2016

Unger & Thirst

  • Millennials Completely Priced Out of Avocado Toast Market
    June 24, 2022
  • Police Raid Home Suspected of Hosting Wild All-Night Tupperware Party
    April 21, 2017
  • After Last Night Hanover Municipality Renamed ‘Hangover’
    January 1, 2018

Unger the Influence

  • Trump Really Excited About New $1.8 Billion Slush Fund
    May 20, 2026
  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Funk and Reimer Team Up on New Pop Album
    September 2, 2019
  • Puerto Vallarta to Be Renamed ‘Little Winkler’
    January 15, 2019
  • How to Send Hate Mail to The Daily Bonnet: A Guide
    December 11, 2022
  • Mennonite Woman Still Writing Her Cheques for 2018
    January 13, 2019

Trending

  • Steinbach Unveils New Public Transit System
    August 5, 2026
  • Mennonite Grandma Punishes Grandkids By Making Them Chew Thrills Gum
    August 4, 2026
  • Rhubarb Discovered on Mennonite Woman’s Vereniki
    August 3, 2026
  • 8 Women Show Up to Claim Prize After Mary Unrau’s Name Called in Raffle Draw
    August 2, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Manitoba Expelled from Confederation After Trudeau Removes First Amendment
    February 25, 2022
  • Kitchener, Ontario to be Renamed Berlin
    December 4, 2019
  • Mennonite Couple Spends Delightful Holiday Weekend on Toronto Tarmac
    December 28, 2022
  • Alberta Premier Calls Shirtless Dude at 7-11 “Most Persecuted Man in All of Human History”
    October 13, 2022
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

Eclipse Glasses Required to Safely View Sunday’s Worship Service

August 12, 2026

Mennonite Woman Forgets to Put Star Anise in Her Chicken Soup

August 11, 2026

Mennonite Man Buys Back All the Albums He Was Forced to Burn in the 70s

August 10, 2026

Reitmans Introduces New ‘Angine de Poitrine’ Line

August 9, 2026

Mennonites Fill Copper Wire Shortage By Stretching Pennies

August 8, 2026

Unger Games

  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026
  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026
  • Canada Loses to Morocco After Not Getting Enough Pucks to the Net
    July 5, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved