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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Permanently Trapped in New Landmark Roundabout

May 19, 2026

LANDMARK, MB Landmark woman Mrs. Plett (of course) was eager to try out the new roundabout just as construction is beginning and has already gotten herself trapped in a never ending loop. “This doesn’t bode […]

Unger Games

Winnipeg Metro Region Hoists Centennial Cup

May 18, 2026

WINNIPEG METRO REGION, MB The Winnipeg Metro Region Nighthawks have become just the fourth team in MJHL history to win the national championship. “We’re so proud of our team the Nighthawks,” said Winnipeg mayor Scott […]

Unger Conviction

  • Thousands of Catholics Forced to Become Anabaptists After Priest Says One Wrong Word
    February 16, 2022
  • Mennonite Pastor Baptizes Hundreds of Total Strangers at Local Waterslide
    June 7, 2017
  • Mennonite Church Releases Brand New List of Sins for 2022
    March 8, 2022

Unger & Thirst

  • Winnipeg Mennonites Demand Roll Kuchen at New Krispy Kreme Store
    January 17, 2023
  • Steinbachers ‘Super Excited’ to Finally Have Some Sort of Prohibition Once Again
    October 25, 2018
  • Canadian Mennonite Dares to Try the Hot Sauce from Mexican Import Store
    July 19, 2023

Unger the Influence

  • Mennonites Hired to Drain the Strait of Hormuz
    March 17, 2026
  • Conservatives Vote to Reaffirm Party Leader Mark Carney
    March 6, 2026
  • Funk and Penner Endorse Penner for Goertzen’s Job Reports Peters from Reimer
    March 1, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Woman Snags Best License Plate Ever! (This is real!)
    March 24, 2018
  • Mennonite Couple Celebrates Anniversary By Ordering the Cheapest Thing on the Menu
    August 24, 2018
  • 20-year-old Spinster Gives Up On Marriage
    September 15, 2016
  • Winnipeg Wonders: How Many Mennonites Does it Take to Change a Purple Lightbulb?
    March 15, 2023

Trending

  • Nationwide Cottage Cheese Shortage Causes Mennonites to Compromise Cherished Values for First Time Ever
    May 9, 2026
  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Mennonite Man Doesn’t Have Enough Space on Census Form to List All His Kids
    May 7, 2026
  • Tariffs Move Leafs’ Pick from First to Sixty-Seventh
    May 6, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Mennonite Hockey Players Forbidden from Completing ‘Gordie Howe Hat Trick’
    June 12, 2016
  • Local Man Totally Ruins Concert By Singing Along
    June 8, 2016
  • New ‘Plandemic’ Doc is the Comedy Smash Hit of the Season
    May 8, 2020
  • American Universities to Shut Down and Be Replaced With Nothing But YouTube and Memes
    August 28, 2020
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Baal Really Excited for New Statue in His Honour

May 17, 2026

Mennonite Woman to Dust Entire Province of Manitoba

May 15, 2026

Donald Trump Tells Iran He Holds All the Cards

May 13, 2026

90-Year-Old Grandma Emerges Victorious in Senior Assassin 2026

May 12, 2026

Mennonite Man Sets Record for Tallest Bowl at Mongo’s Grill

May 10, 2026

Unger Games

  • Winnipeg Metro Region Hoists Centennial Cup
    May 18, 2026
  • Donald Trump Tells Iran He Holds All the Cards
    May 13, 2026
  • Tariffs Move Leafs’ Pick from First to Sixty-Seventh
    May 6, 2026
  • Taber Arena Will No Longer Be Flooded With Schmaunt Fat After Winning Kraft Hockeyville
    April 5, 2026
  • Peters “Makes It to First Base” Giving Hope to Young Men Across Winkler
    April 4, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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