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The Daily Bonnet

Steinbach Unveils New Public Transit System

August 5, 2026

STEINBACH, MB The long wait is over as the City of Steinbach has finally unveiled a new ten year plan to improve the growing community’s public transportation infrastructure. The plan includes the licensing of guys […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Grandma Punishes Grandkids By Making Them Chew Thrills Gum

August 4, 2026

MITCHELL, MB Local grandma Mrs. Agnes Wiebe, 72, unleashed the harshest punishment known to Mennonites this week by making her misbehaving grandkids chew a piece of soap-flavoured Thrills gum for a full fifteen minutes. “I […]

Unger Conviction

  • Church Elders to Investigate Member’s Involvement in Wordle Cheating Scandal
    February 6, 2022
  • Mennonite Choir to Perform at Extra-Alternative Halftime Show
    February 8, 2026
  • Mennonite Church Accidentally Performs First Ever Infant Baptism
    September 20, 2016

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Man Struggles with Soup at Local Vietnamese Restaurant
    July 8, 2024
  • Tim Hortons Introduces Full Line of Yerba Products
    September 22, 2017
  • Chicken Chef Coupons Finally Arrive After Month-long Strike
    December 19, 2024

Unger the Influence

  • Trump Really Excited About New $1.8 Billion Slush Fund
    May 20, 2026
  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Author Writes Autobiography, Calls it a “Novel”
    June 7, 2018
  • What’s in a Name? A Few Questions with Andrew Unger
    March 1, 2023
  • Mennonite Man Translates Low German Joke for Englishers, No One Laughs
    March 26, 2019
  • Lit Match Insufficient After Dad’s Been in There
    January 17, 2018

Trending

  • Prince Edward Island Becomes Accidental Target of White House Anti-DEI Campaign
    July 28, 2026
  • Winnipeg’s Population Surpasses 850,000 Friesens
    July 27, 2026
  • Mennonite Family Wastes Entire Vacation Visiting Relatives
    July 26, 2026
  • Southern Manitoba Transitions from Agricultural-Based Economy to Wedding Venue-Based Economy
    July 25, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Mennonite Man Perplexed by the Warm Soothing Sounds of Steve Bell
    December 15, 2022
  • Patrik Laine Traded to the Blumenort Menno Knights
    October 25, 2020
  • Montrealers Just Don’t Take Cops Seriously Anymore After Decades of ‘Just for Laughs’ Gags
    May 31, 2021
  • A Do-it-Yourselfers Guide to Selecting and Constructing the Perfect Border Wall
    March 22, 2018
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Rhubarb Discovered on Mennonite Woman’s Vereniki

August 3, 2026

8 Women Show Up to Claim Prize After Mary Unrau’s Name Called in Raffle Draw

August 2, 2026

Jeff Bridges, John Goodman Reunite for ‘The Big Sawatzky’

August 1, 2026

Mr. Penner Flicks For Triple Word Score

July 31, 2026

Chihuahua Airport Offers New Lounge Just For Mennonite Grandmas

July 30, 2026

Unger Games

  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026
  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026
  • Canada Loses to Morocco After Not Getting Enough Pucks to the Net
    July 5, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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