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Unger Suspicion

Christopher Nolan Casts Pacifist Mennonite Farmer as Odysseus

July 20, 2026

HOLLYWOOD, CA Director Christopher Nolan has stirred up controversy for his casting decisions yet again this week after replacing Matt Damon with 83-year-old retired Mennonite farmer/minister David Unrau. Unrau will star as legendary Greek hero […]

Unger Suspicion

US Strikes Iran With Their Most Powerful Weapon: Taco Bell Lettuce

July 19, 2026

TEHRAN, IRAN The United States has hit Iran with the most dangerous weapon in its arsenal: Taco Bell lettuce. “If you don’t open the Strait of Hormuz immediately, we’re going to bombard you with Taco […]

Unger Conviction

  • Local Free Church to Charge Admission
    April 3, 2018
  • Mennonite Man Can’t Figure Out What to Give Up for Lent Since Everything Fun is Already Forbidden
    March 8, 2019
  • Mennonite Woman Sings the Wrong Version of ‘Away in a Manger’
    December 22, 2019

Unger & Thirst

  • Toews Fills Stanley Cup with Delicious Somma Borscht
    June 29, 2022
  • $80 Million Carton of Eggs Smashes Record in Sotheby’s Auction
    February 7, 2025
  • Rhubarb Sauce Discovered on Mennonite Man’s Perogies
    April 22, 2022

Unger the Influence

  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026
  • James Comey Indicted Over ‘606 47’ Seashell Photo
    May 3, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Homewrecker Wrecks Record 30th Home
    June 27, 2017
  • Mennonite Man Thinks His Specific Brand of Mennonites is Representative of All Mennonites
    January 25, 2025
  • Mennonite Woman Retires Tobbdüak After Thirty Years of Service
    July 9, 2021
  • Mennonite Woman Cleans House Just Before Cleaning Lady Arrives
    October 8, 2019

Trending

  • Mennonite Women are Shedding their Düaks During Heat Wave
    July 12, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026
  • Mennonites Gather at Bird’s Hill for Annual Winnipeg Falk Fest
    July 9, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Taylor Swift Announces New Album: ‘Tortured Mennonite Poets Department’
    March 3, 2024
  • Mennonite Hymn Wins Eurovision Song Contest
    May 23, 2025
  • Novak Djokovic Deported to Southern Manitoba
    January 16, 2022
  • AOL Ends Dial-Up Internet Mere Days After Mennonite Man Signed Up For It
    August 13, 2025
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Trump to Fence Off the Border to Keep Out Canadian Smoke

July 18, 2026

Mennonite Woman Lucks Out With New Licence Plate

July 16, 2026

Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again

July 15, 2026

Folk Fest Attendee Sells Spot in the Shade for $500 a Square Foot

July 14, 2026

Thousands of Canadians Flock to Mexico to Cool Off this Summer

July 13, 2026

Unger Games

  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026
  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026
  • Canada Loses to Morocco After Not Getting Enough Pucks to the Net
    July 5, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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