The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger
Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Woman Struggles to Keep Dandelions, Quackgrass, and AI Data Centres Out of Her Garden This Year

July 7, 2026

CHILLIWACK, BC Area woman Doris Reimer, 74, has planted a lovely array of daisies and dillweed this year, but has struggled to keep the weeds and AI data centres out of her garden. “I’m out […]

Unger Games

FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match

July 6, 2026

SEATTLE, WA After a last second phone call from Donald Trump, FIFA President Gianni Infantino has agreed to let the US President act as head referee for tonight’s match in Seattle. “He knows so much […]

Unger Conviction

  • Distracted Texting Millennial Accidentally Walks Into Church
    September 24, 2017
  • Church Affiliation to be Included on New Steinbach Election Ballots
    October 27, 2018
  • Mennonite Church Celebrates 150 Years of Passive Aggressive Behaviour
    July 3, 2021

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Man Embarks on New Career After a Weekend of Gorging on Oma’s Cooking
    April 2, 2018
  • McDonalds Takes McRib Off the Menu Just Long Enough for People to Forget How Terrible It Is
    March 6, 2024
  • Children Not So Happy After Dad Drives Off with Happy Meals on the Roof of His Car
    April 14, 2019

Unger the Influence

  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026
  • James Comey Indicted Over ‘606 47’ Seashell Photo
    May 3, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Area Cyclists Shocked By the Presence of Pedestrians on the Sidewalk
    July 21, 2016
  • Man Publishes ‘Mennonite Your Way Through Afghanistan’ Guide
    December 29, 2016
  • Plautdietsch Classified as an ‘Endangered Species’ in Steinbach
    November 9, 2016
  • Mennonite Woman Worried Trump May Try to Capture Her Essential Oils
    January 4, 2026

Trending

  • Paraguay Defeats Germany Thanks to the Prayers of 100,000 Mennonites
    June 30, 2026
  • Taco Bell Unveils New Logo
    June 29, 2026
  • Leamington Residents Celebrate Canada’s World Cup Victory with Giant Ketchup-Covered Vereniki
    June 28, 2026
  • Winnipeg Jets Select Björk in First Round
    June 27, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Winnipeg Woman Denied Entry to Folk Festival for Failing to Wear Blundstones
    July 13, 2025
  • Winnipeg Protestors Fight Amongst Themselves Over How to Split the Fine
    April 26, 2021
  • U.S. Capitol to Be Replaced with One Massive Banana Republic
    January 7, 2021
  • Taylor Swift Announces Massive Countrywide Tour of Toronto
    August 3, 2023
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

Canada Loses to Morocco After Not Getting Enough Pucks to the Net

July 5, 2026

Surprises Abound on Taylor and Travis’s Guest List

July 4, 2026

Area Man Spends 10 Hours Trying to Figure Out Hotel Shower Controls

July 3, 2026

Area Man Has No Idea His AI-Generated Poster is a Total Shit Show

July 2, 2026

Canadians Accidentally Set Off Fireworks 3 Days Early

July 1, 2026

Unger Games

  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026
  • Canada Loses to Morocco After Not Getting Enough Pucks to the Net
    July 5, 2026
  • Paraguay Defeats Germany Thanks to the Prayers of 100,000 Mennonites
    June 30, 2026
  • Leamington Residents Celebrate Canada’s World Cup Victory with Giant Ketchup-Covered Vereniki
    June 28, 2026
  • Winnipeg Jets Select Björk in First Round
    June 27, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved