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The Daily Bonnet

8 Women Show Up to Claim Prize After Mary Unrau’s Name Called in Raffle Draw

August 2, 2026

NEWTON, KS There was mass confusion and chaos in Newton, Kansas this afternoon after the name Mary Unrau was called for the raffle draw. “I’m Mary Unrau,” said one woman. “No, I’m Mary Unrau,” said […]

Unger Suspicion

Jeff Bridges, John Goodman Reunite for ‘The Big Sawatzky’

August 1, 2026

HOLLYWOOD, CA The Coen Brothers have just wrapped up filming the sequel to their 1998 cult hit The Big Lebowski. The new film, entitled The Big Sawatzky, which reunites Jeff Bridges with John Goodman, Steve […]

Unger Conviction

  • Steinbach Residents Flock to Mini-churches Across the City
    May 27, 2016
  • Pastor Invites Congregation to ‘Netflix and Chill’ Night at Local Church
    September 23, 2016
  • Americans Left Completely Religionless as Sports Shut Down
    March 14, 2020

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Couple Shares Single Plate at Mother’s Day Buffet
    May 10, 2022
  • 8 Easy Mennonite Recipes for Your Hockey Playoff Parties
    May 5, 2018
  • Canadian Mennonite Travels All the Way to Belize Just for the Ice Cream
    November 7, 2022

Unger the Influence

  • Trump Really Excited About New $1.8 Billion Slush Fund
    May 20, 2026
  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Outhouses Coming Back in Style with Trendy Mennonite Millennials
    July 24, 2017
  • What Are the 150 Most Significant Moments in Canadian Mennonite History?
    June 30, 2017
  • Local Couple is Pretty Sure ‘Love Your Neighbour’ Isn’t Literal
    September 16, 2016
  • Winter Fashion Forecast: Long Johns All the Rage This Year
    December 18, 2016

Trending

  • Southern Manitoba Transitions from Agricultural-Based Economy to Wedding Venue-Based Economy
    July 25, 2026
  • Mennonite Aunt Shocked To Discover She’s Been Excluded From Family Group Chat This Whole Time
    July 24, 2026
  • Mennonites Flock to Nickelback Concert to Collect their 5 Cents
    July 23, 2026
  • Massive Algae Bloom Discovered Beneath Gordie Howe Bridge
    July 22, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Portage and Main to be Accessed Exclusively by Blizzards and Ice Storms
    September 26, 2018
  • Ford to Stop Producing Mennonite Buggies
    April 27, 2018
  • Local Quilting Ladies Accidentally Attend Metallica Concert
    September 14, 2018
  • Quebec Bans Mennonite Kerchiefs
    October 19, 2017
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Mr. Penner Flicks For Triple Word Score

July 31, 2026

Chihuahua Airport Offers New Lounge Just For Mennonite Grandmas

July 30, 2026

Prince Edward Island Becomes Accidental Target of White House Anti-DEI Campaign

July 28, 2026

Winnipeg’s Population Surpasses 850,000 Friesens

July 27, 2026

Mennonite Family Wastes Entire Vacation Visiting Relatives

July 26, 2026

Unger Games

  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026
  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026
  • Canada Loses to Morocco After Not Getting Enough Pucks to the Net
    July 5, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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