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The Daily Bonnet

Plane Takes Couple to La Crete, Alberta Instead of Greek Island

February 14, 2026

LA CRETE, AB The Wiebes of Winkler were planning for a nice warm beach vacation this winter and wound up in La Crete, Alberta instead. “There are plenty of reasons to visit La Crete,” said […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Celebrate Valentine’s Day By Ordering the Cheapest Thing on the Menu

February 13, 2026

ABBOTSFORD, BC The Rempels of Abbotsford plant to celebrate Valentine’s Day in style this weekend by ordering the very cheapest items on the menu at Ricky’s. “Oba, I guess no Brekkie-bowl for me,” said Mrs. […]

Unger Conviction

  • Editorial: ‘I Think the Lord Would Approve of Our Church Split’
    December 2, 2016
  • Mennonite Pastor Shortens Sermons to 90 Minutes for the Summer Months
    April 22, 2021
  • Why the Church Lobby is Even Better than Tinder!
    September 20, 2017

Unger & Thirst

  • A Modest Proposal for the Elimination of Faspa
    March 11, 2018
  • Wine Ninjas Accidentally Deliver to Mennonite Woman
    May 18, 2020
  • Drones to Deliver Cheese Curds to Area Residents
    June 27, 2016

Unger the Influence

  • American Soldiers Accidentally Invade Greenland Road
    January 17, 2026
  • Ottawa Disappointed with Gun Buyback Program in Mennonite Country
    January 11, 2026
  • Zwaagstra Vows to Continue Goertzen’s Legacy of Giving Andrew Unger Plenty of Material
    January 8, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Man Caught Watching Figure Skating
    February 15, 2022
  • David Bergen Discovers Long Lost Twin Brother Maurice Mierau
    September 22, 2023
  • Read Through ‘The Best of the Bonnet’ in One Year: A Guide
    December 9, 2021
  • Mennonite Game Goes into Overtime
    July 8, 2019

Trending

  • Minnesota to be Renamed ‘Manitoba South’
    February 3, 2026
  • George Washington Completely “Absolved” in New Epstein Files
    February 1, 2026
  • Theatres Empty for New Documentary About My Taunte Lina
    January 31, 2026
  • Premiers Gather in Saskatoon for Annual Crokinole Tournament
    January 29, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Ted Falk Unscathed After Lone Elbowist Attacks Canadian Parliament
    May 20, 2016
  • Local Gamers Excited for Release of “Call of Duty: Morden Warfare”
    September 18, 2018
  • Avid Outdoorsman Spends All Day Indoors Wearing Bass Pro Shops Cap
    August 17, 2023
  • Jennifer Aniston Doused in Schmaunt Fat on Set of ‘The Morning Show’
    August 8, 2024
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White House Demands New Bridge Be Rerouted to Epstein Island

February 11, 2026

Americans Furious About All-Plautdietsch Halftime Show

February 10, 2026

Mennonite Mom Forces Olympians to Split Medals into Pieces and Share with their Brothers and Sisters

February 9, 2026

Mennonite Choir to Perform at Extra-Alternative Halftime Show

February 8, 2026

Canada to Field Olympic Team Entirely Made Up of Friesens and Froeses

February 6, 2026

Unger Games

  • Mennonite Mom Forces Olympians to Split Medals into Pieces and Share with their Brothers and Sisters
    February 9, 2026
  • Mennonite Choir to Perform at Extra-Alternative Halftime Show
    February 8, 2026
  • Canada to Field Olympic Team Entirely Made Up of Friesens and Froeses
    February 6, 2026
  • Premiers Gather in Saskatoon for Annual Crokinole Tournament
    January 29, 2026
  • Area Man to Pretend Super Bowl Actually Matters to Distract Himself from Everything Else Going On in the World Right Now
    January 28, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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