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Unger the Influence

Trump Really Excited About New $1.8 Billion Slush Fund

May 20, 2026

WASHINGTON, DC The White House just announced this week they’d be creating a $1.8 billion slush fund, specifically designed to provide Trump and his buddies with a neverending supply of 7-11 Slurpees. “I’ve hand-selected a […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Permanently Trapped in New Landmark Roundabout

May 19, 2026

LANDMARK, MB Landmark woman Mrs. Plett (of course) was eager to try out the new roundabout just as construction is beginning and has already gotten herself trapped in a never ending loop. “This doesn’t bode […]

Unger Conviction

  • For Some Reason Worship Leader Just Can’t Seem to Worship the Lord Without His $4000 Taylor
    June 29, 2020
  • Mennonite Man Suspended from Church for the Next 4 Sundays
    June 4, 2021
  • Mennonite Teens Excommunicated for Not ‘Following Back’ the Youth Pastor
    August 29, 2019

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Woman Sets Off Rocket After Calling the Kids in for “Launch”
    August 20, 2023
  • Truck Spills Schmaunt Fat All Over Memphis Highway
    September 9, 2022
  • Fisherman Hired to Extract Last Pickle from Jar
    May 30, 2025

Unger the Influence

  • “I thought it was me as a trajchtmoaka,” Trump says
    April 13, 2026
  • Mennonites Hired to Drain the Strait of Hormuz
    March 17, 2026
  • Conservatives Vote to Reaffirm Party Leader Mark Carney
    March 6, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Couple Gets Second Bathroom
    January 3, 2018
  • NASA Report: Mennonites Live in Parallel Universe Where Time Runs Backwards
    May 23, 2020
  • Miracle-Working Techno-Whizz Grandson Turns Computer Off and then On Again
    January 21, 2019
  • Steinbach Blessed with Pleasant Aroma of Manure Just in Time for Mother’s Day
    May 11, 2025

Trending

  • Mennonite Man Sets Record for Tallest Bowl at Mongo’s Grill
    May 10, 2026
  • Nationwide Cottage Cheese Shortage Causes Mennonites to Compromise Cherished Values for First Time Ever
    May 9, 2026
  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Mennonite Man Doesn’t Have Enough Space on Census Form to List All His Kids
    May 7, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Outage Impacts All 8 Mennonites on Twitter
    February 9, 2023
  • Sump Pump Awarded Order of Manitoba
    May 5, 2022
  • Justin Bieber Buys Vacation Home in Elkhart, Indiana
    September 3, 2016
  • After 20 Years in Calgary, Manitoba Man Still Hasn’t Skied
    December 16, 2017
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Winnipeg Metro Region Hoists Centennial Cup

May 18, 2026

Baal Really Excited for New Statue in His Honour

May 17, 2026

Mennonite Woman to Dust Entire Province of Manitoba

May 15, 2026

Donald Trump Tells Iran He Holds All the Cards

May 13, 2026

90-Year-Old Grandma Emerges Victorious in Senior Assassin 2026

May 12, 2026

Unger Games

  • Winnipeg Metro Region Hoists Centennial Cup
    May 18, 2026
  • Donald Trump Tells Iran He Holds All the Cards
    May 13, 2026
  • Tariffs Move Leafs’ Pick from First to Sixty-Seventh
    May 6, 2026
  • Taber Arena Will No Longer Be Flooded With Schmaunt Fat After Winning Kraft Hockeyville
    April 5, 2026
  • Peters “Makes It to First Base” Giving Hope to Young Men Across Winkler
    April 4, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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