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Unger Games

White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup

July 11, 2026

WINKLER, MB Hours after Winkler’s-own Tristan Peters was named a 2026 American League All-Star, the Chicago White Sox announced they’d be replacing all the other players with good hearty farm boys from southern Manitoba. “Hey, […]

Unger Games

Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning

July 10, 2026

FRESNO, CA Guillermo Toews, a soccer player from Paraguay, got FIFA’s first ever red card for yawning this week after appearing visibly bored during his match against Turkey. “Hey, if the fans are bored that’s […]

Unger Conviction

  • They’ve Totally Changed All the Lyrics to 606
    February 17, 2025
  • Mennonite Man Super Excited to Eat These Noah’s Ark Cookies
    June 9, 2026
  • Thousands of Catholics Forced to Become Anabaptists After Priest Says One Wrong Word
    February 16, 2022

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Man Caught Skipping Family Gathering to Hang Out at The Public
    August 12, 2023
  • Neufeld Downs Entire Grey Cup Filled with Komst Borscht
    December 13, 2021
  • Frustrated Mennonite Man Still Waiting for His Cookies
    April 28, 2021

Unger the Influence

  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026
  • James Comey Indicted Over ‘606 47’ Seashell Photo
    May 3, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • How to Become a Cheap Mennonite in 7 Easy Steps
    April 13, 2018
  • Trump Caught Snoozing in Church
    November 8, 2025
  • Mennonite Lady Calls Into ‘Trading Post’ Every Day for Thirty Years
    February 28, 2018
  • Mennonite Couple Gets Second Bathroom
    January 3, 2018

Trending

  • Surprises Abound on Taylor and Travis’s Guest List
    July 4, 2026
  • Area Man Spends 10 Hours Trying to Figure Out Hotel Shower Controls
    July 3, 2026
  • Area Man Has No Idea His AI-Generated Poster is a Total Shit Show
    July 2, 2026
  • Canadians Accidentally Set Off Fireworks 3 Days Early
    July 1, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Canadians Completely Shocked by the Existence of Winter
    December 28, 2017
  • Manitoba Builds New Confederation Bridge to Compete with the One in PEI
    April 26, 2022
  • American Man Claims to be Huge ‘Hackey’ Fan
    December 6, 2019
  • Winnipegers Rush to Get their Hands on the Cheapest Nosebleed Seats
    January 13, 2026
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Mennonites Gather at Bird’s Hill for Annual Winnipeg Falk Fest

July 9, 2026

World Cup Tourists Fall in Love With Schmaunt Fat

July 8, 2026

Mennonite Woman Struggles to Keep Dandelions, Quackgrass, and AI Data Centres Out of Her Garden This Year

July 7, 2026

FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match

July 6, 2026

Canada Loses to Morocco After Not Getting Enough Pucks to the Net

July 5, 2026

Unger Games

  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026
  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026
  • Canada Loses to Morocco After Not Getting Enough Pucks to the Net
    July 5, 2026
  • Paraguay Defeats Germany Thanks to the Prayers of 100,000 Mennonites
    June 30, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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