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Unger Suspicion

Police Raid Home Suspected of Hosting Wild All-Night Tupperware Party

October 2, 2026

GOSHEN, IN More than a dozen Mennonite women were taken into custody last night after police were called to break up the wildest Tupperware party Goshen has ever seen. “We were alerted to the problem […]

Unger Suspicion

AI Claims It Won’t Kill All Humans and There’s Nothing to Worry About

September 27, 2026

SILICON VALLEY, CA After several disturbing reports by AI experts that claimed there was a 10% chance AI would kill us all within 10 years, new studies written by AI show that there’s actually nothing […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Woman Concerned She Might Be Anglican
    November 21, 2025
  • Mennonite Newlyweds Look Like “They’ve Been Practicing”
    August 11, 2021
  • Mennonite Church Forms Committee Responsible for Forming Other Committees
    October 3, 2019

Unger & Thirst

  • Three Hours Later, Mennonite Man Still Working on that Piece of Chokecherry Pie
    August 12, 2018
  • Demolished Winkler Tower Cripples City’s Schmaunt Fat Supply
    November 23, 2021
  • Mennonite Man Sues Beer Company for ‘False Advertising’
    November 13, 2016

Unger the Influence

  • Trump Calls Andrew Unger “Untalented, Totally Not Funny,” Demands Cancellation of The Unger Review
    May 31, 2026
  • Trump to “Completely Destroy” Military He “Completely Destroyed” Last Week
    May 30, 2026
  • Carney Just One MP Resignation Away From Minority Government the People Voted For
    May 29, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • 5 Times The Daily Bonnet Accurately Predicted the Future
    November 16, 2022
  • Superstore Lot Fills Up With Liquor Mart Customers
    February 19, 2017
  • Romantic Mennonite Couple Break Tradition with Evening Meddachschlop Tonight
    February 14, 2023
  • Poll: Vote Now to Determine What the Daily Bonnet Should Write on Remembrance Day
    November 11, 2016

Trending

  • Ed Sheeran Drops Mennonite Choir from North American Tour
    September 19, 2026
  • Australian Pastor Apologizes, Says He Shouldn’t Have Preached Hourlong Sermon with Diarrhea
    September 18, 2026
  • Frugal Mennonites Excited for the Permanent Daylight Savings
    September 17, 2026
  • Carney Sends Mennonite Delegates to Negotiate with the EU
    September 16, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • United States Senate to Perform at Super Bowl Halftime Show
    February 1, 2020
  • Manitoba Expelled from Confederation After Trudeau Removes First Amendment
    February 25, 2022
  • Area Man Elected President of Ecuador
    May 24, 2016
  • Tom Brady Blames Loss on Regulation Size Footballs
    February 5, 2018
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Hundreds of Legal Potash Dispensaries to Open in Saskatchewan

September 26, 2026

Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg

September 24, 2026

Left Lane Between Steinbach and Blumenort to be Designated “Slow Minivan Lane”

September 22, 2026

Electrician Busy Explaining to Concerned Mennonites what ‘AC/DC’ Really Means

September 21, 2026

Mennonite Woman Ruins Perfectly Good Cinnamon Buns By Adding Raisins

September 20, 2026

Unger Games

  • Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg
    September 24, 2026
  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026
  • Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’
    September 13, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026
  • Massive Simon Hildebrandt Statue Appears Outside MBCI
    August 16, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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