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Unger Games

Canadian Curler Accused of “Knipsing” Stone

February 18, 2026

MILAN, ITALY Canadian curler Mark Kennedy has been accused of taking a few strategies from crokinole this week at the Olympics. “The replay clearly shows he knipsed the stone after the hog line,” said curler […]

Unger Suspicion

Manitoba Issues Province-wide “Yellow Snow” Warning

February 17, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB Premier Wab Kinew held an emergency press conference this afternoon to announce the entire province was now under a Yellow Snow Advisory. “Don’t eat it. Don’t touch it. Don’t go anywhere near it,” […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Church Accidentally Performs First Ever Infant Baptism
    September 20, 2016
  • Hip New Church Bulletin Goes All Comic Sans
    April 9, 2017
  • Church Puppets Shock Congregation by Appearing Completely Naked
    November 5, 2019

Unger & Thirst

  • Grandma Cookies Now Made from Freshly Harvested Grandmas
    November 11, 2023
  • Mennonite Man Offers Barry Trotz ‘Free Farmer Sausage for Life’ to Coach Jets
    June 14, 2022
  • Documentary Filmmaker Subsists on Nothing But Faspa For an Entire Month
    July 25, 2016

Unger the Influence

  • American Soldiers Accidentally Invade Greenland Road
    January 17, 2026
  • Ottawa Disappointed with Gun Buyback Program in Mennonite Country
    January 11, 2026
  • Zwaagstra Vows to Continue Goertzen’s Legacy of Giving Andrew Unger Plenty of Material
    January 8, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonites Banned from Saying ‘Oba’
    December 23, 2016
  • Local Woman Completely Hooked on The Mennodalorian
    January 25, 2021
  • Winkler, Manitoba to Officially be Renamed ‘Vankler’
    November 19, 2016
  • 2020 Knipsbrat League Standings
    December 16, 2020

Trending

  • Americans Furious About All-Plautdietsch Halftime Show
    February 10, 2026
  • Mennonite Mom Forces Olympians to Split Medals into Pieces and Share with their Brothers and Sisters
    February 9, 2026
  • Mennonite Choir to Perform at Extra-Alternative Halftime Show
    February 8, 2026
  • Canada to Field Olympic Team Entirely Made Up of Friesens and Froeses
    February 6, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Putin Promises to Use “Withdrawal Method”
    January 30, 2022
  • Perhaps the Most Important Words Ever Written About War…
    April 8, 2017
  • Canadians Celebrate as List of ‘Sports We Don’t Suck At’ Balloons to Two
    March 27, 2022
  • Area Man Spends 5 Hours Trying to Find the End of a Roll of Tape
    September 5, 2023
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I Searched the Epstein Files for Mennonite Content – This is What I Found

February 16, 2026

France Humiliates Canada By Losing Only By a Score of 10-2

February 15, 2026

Plane Takes Couple to La Crete, Alberta Instead of Greek Island

February 14, 2026

Mennonite Couple Celebrate Valentine’s Day By Ordering the Cheapest Thing on the Menu

February 13, 2026

White House Demands New Bridge Be Rerouted to Epstein Island

February 11, 2026

Unger Games

  • Canadian Curler Accused of “Knipsing” Stone
    February 18, 2026
  • France Humiliates Canada By Losing Only By a Score of 10-2
    February 15, 2026
  • Mennonite Mom Forces Olympians to Split Medals into Pieces and Share with their Brothers and Sisters
    February 9, 2026
  • Mennonite Choir to Perform at Extra-Alternative Halftime Show
    February 8, 2026
  • Canada to Field Olympic Team Entirely Made Up of Friesens and Froeses
    February 6, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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