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Unger the Influence

Incoherent White House Press Secretary Actually Speaking Low German

October 16, 2026

WASHINGTON, DC Trump’s new press secretary lasted just five days on the job after appearing completely unable to string a few words together. “But as it turns out, she was actually speaking in Plautdietsch the […]

Unger Suspicion

American School Bans ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’ For Being Canadian

October 14, 2026

COUNCIL BLUFFS, IA School districts across the United States have banned controversial Margaret Atwood novel The Handmaid’s Tale for containing “disturbing Canadian content.” “We have to protect our kids from reading Canadian literature,” said local parent Tiffany […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Brethren and General Conference Forced to Share Folklorama Pavilion
    August 12, 2017
  • Children Terrified as Puppets Launch into Fiery ‘Hell and Damnation’ Sermon
    August 17, 2018
  • Sticky Tack Holds Poster to Wall for Record 5 Minutes
    September 12, 2025

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Man Worried He Might Be Getting Old as He’s Finally Developed a Taste for Borscht
    March 18, 2021
  • Mennonite Man Brings His Own Rogers To Be Covid Compliant
    August 10, 2020
  • Delicious Rhubarb Platz Found in Sarah Polley’s Oscar Gift Bag
    March 13, 2023

Unger the Influence

  • Premier Wab Kinew Finally Visits Steinbach Just as Every Local Politician is Mysteriously Out of Town
    September 12, 2026
  • Toddler Demands Lake Ontario Be Renamed Lake Poopy Pants
    August 27, 2026
  • Trump Threatens to Rename Lake Winnipeg if Wab Kinew Doesn’t Stop Saying Mean Things About Him
    August 25, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Wife Frustrated With Husband’s Inability to Take a Flattering Selfie
    March 21, 2017
  • Canadian Mennonites Upset as their Team, the Germans, are Eliminated from the World Cup
    December 4, 2022
  • Mennonite Stunt Driver Performs Ten U-Turns in a Row
    October 12, 2019
  • Mennonite Man Makes it Big on Broadway … Winnipeg
    August 19, 2024

Trending

  • Massive E-Scooter Outbreak Strikes Southern Manitoba
    October 7, 2026
  • British Columbians Can’t Decide Which Mennonite to Vote For
    October 6, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Leads League With Impressive 0.00 GAA So Far This Season
    October 5, 2026
  • Trump Promises Mennonites $5000 Worth of Bubbat if They Vote Republican
    October 3, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Controversial Alt-Mennonite Leader is Fed Up With Being Told Not to Judge
    December 3, 2016
  • 7 Rock Songs We Should Sing in Church
    November 28, 2017
  • World’s “Most Powerful Nation” Loses Yet Another War
    August 17, 2021
  • Mennonite Choir to Perform at Next Year’s Super Bowl
    February 4, 2019
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White House Reinstates Day to Honour Guy Who Directed ‘Home Alone’

October 13, 2026

Mennonite Woman Arrested for Buying Her Pumpkin Pie at Costco

October 12, 2026

Albertans to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Separation

October 11, 2026

Pentagon Introduces New “Firing Squad” Video Game for Kids

October 10, 2026

FIFA Awards Donald Trump Nobel Prize for Literature

October 8, 2026

Unger Games

  • Connor Hellebuyck Leads League With Impressive 0.00 GAA So Far This Season
    October 5, 2026
  • Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg
    September 24, 2026
  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026
  • Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’
    September 13, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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