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Unger Games

Canadian Swifties Demand Taylor Date at Least One CFL Star

September 25, 2023

TORONTO, ON After word got out that Taylor Swift was dating NFL star Travis Kelce, north-of-the-border Swifties are demanding that she “stop ignoring our league.” “What has she got against Canadian football? There’s a lot […]

Unger Games

Curling Match Cancelled After Mennonite Men Refuse to Cast the First Stone

September 23, 2023

ALTONA, MB The curling season in Altona, Manitoba has been postponed this weekend after Mr. Plett and Mr. Kroeker both refused to cast the first stone. “I blame Pastor Ron,” said local curling fan Dave […]

Unger Conviction

  • Deceased Members of “One True Church” Find Heaven Super Lonely
    November 27, 2020
  • Bench Clearing Brawl at Mennonite Church Hockey Tournament
    November 15, 2017
  • Man Arrested for Scalping Tickets to Megachurch Service
    February 1, 2017

Unger & Thirst

  • Lutheran Man Joins Mennonite Church After Discovering Roll Kuchen
    July 6, 2019
  • Thousands of Partiers Show Up to Mennonite Man’s “Hot New Disco”
    September 8, 2022
  • City’s Top Chef Mortified to Discover His ‘Charcuterie Board’ is Just Glorified Faspa
    May 21, 2021

Unger the Influence

  • Protestors Excited that Trudeau is Finally Single
    August 2, 2023
  • Canadian Prime Minister Declines Offer to Have Sex with Protestor
    July 17, 2023
  • Pierre Poilievre Debuts New Mennonite Look
    July 10, 2023

The Daily Bonnet

  • Young Man on Life Support after Dangerous Game of Russian Mennonite Roulette
    August 3, 2017
  • Mennonite Man Discovers Humour
    November 28, 2016
  • Empty Steinbach Car Lots to Be Filled with Horses
    May 9, 2022
  • Mennonite Career Fair Offers Two Options: Preacher or Farmer
    January 27, 2021

Trending

  • 50 Cent and Nickelback Team Up to Offer 45 Cent Concert Tickets
    September 16, 2023
  • Mennonite Couple Devastated After Attempting Sunday Trip to Chick-fil-A and Hobby Lobby
    September 15, 2023
  • Bargain-Hungry Mennonites Fill Arena for 50 Cent Concert
    September 13, 2023
  • Amana Releases New ‘Throwback’ Dishwasher
    September 12, 2023

Unger Suspicion

  • IOC Bans Mennonites from 2018 Winter Olympics
    December 6, 2017
  • Things are So Bad that Trump Has Stopped Saying ‘Tremendous’
    April 15, 2020
  • Assiniboine Park Zoo Opens Up New Mosquito Exhibit
    July 25, 2017
  • ‘Maid of the Mist’ Relocates to Pisew Falls
    August 5, 2020
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David Bergen Discovers Long Lost Twin Brother Maurice Mierau

September 22, 2023

The Roman Empire: Why Mennonites Just Can’t Stop Thinking About It

September 20, 2023

NFL Announces New Gruelling 162-Game Schedule

September 19, 2023

Manitoba Plans to Have 2 Million Friesens By the Year 2030

September 18, 2023

Man Who Ate All 183 ‘Burger Week’ Burgers Reveals His Favourite

September 17, 2023

Unger Games

  • Canadian Swifties Demand Taylor Date at Least One CFL Star
    September 25, 2023
  • Curling Match Cancelled After Mennonite Men Refuse to Cast the First Stone
    September 23, 2023
  • NFL Announces New Gruelling 162-Game Schedule
    September 19, 2023
  • Mennonite Tennis Fan Unaffected by Repetitive Head Turning
    September 3, 2023
  • Green Flag Drops for the Russlaender 100
    July 15, 2023

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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