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Unger Suspicion

Elizabeth Holmes Takes On Trajchtmoaka Job in Winkler

October 26, 2026

WINKLER, MB Convicted fraudster and medical inventor Elizabeth Holmes is set to be released from prison and will be setting up shop in Winkler, Manitoba. “Where I’ll be knisping and knacking to cure whatever ails […]

Unger the Influence

Mennonite Beats Mennonite with Votes from Mennonites

October 25, 2026

VICTORIA, BC Two folks of Mennonite ancestry, Doerkson and Eby, squared off for the role of Premier of British Columbia last night, with Mennonites turning out in droves to support the Mennonite of their choice. […]

Unger Conviction

  • Local Free Church to Charge Admission
    April 3, 2018
  • ‘Holy Kiss’ in Mennonite Church Lobby Becomes Total Make-out Session
    January 24, 2019
  • Long Lost Hymn 606 Discovered on Page 118
    June 10, 2019

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonites Buy Naming Rights to New Edmonton Arena
    March 14, 2018
  • Skeptical Mennonite Man Refuses to Eat Sausage Because He “Doesn’t Know What’s In It”
    February 2, 2022
  • Delicious Rhubarb Platz Found in Sarah Polley’s Oscar Gift Bag
    March 13, 2023

Unger the Influence

  • Pentagon Introduces New “Firing Squad” Video Game for Kids
    October 10, 2026
  • British Columbians Can’t Decide Which Mennonite to Vote For
    October 6, 2026
  • Trump Promises Mennonites $5000 Worth of Bubbat if They Vote Republican
    October 3, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Man Wears His Wife’s Düak A Bit Too Low
    April 14, 2020
  • Mennonite Town Bans Wearing Socks with Sandals
    September 13, 2017
  • Breaking an Arm While Sledding a Hiebert Family Tradition
    January 8, 2018
  • Mennonite Man Checks His Privilege Only to Have It Lost By American Airlines
    May 20, 2018

Trending

  • Alberta Separatists Hire Mennonites to Show Them How It’s Done
    October 17, 2026
  • Incoherent White House Press Secretary Actually Speaking Low German
    October 16, 2026
  • American School Bans ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’ For Being Canadian
    October 14, 2026
  • White House Reinstates Day to Honour Guy Who Directed ‘Home Alone’
    October 13, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Mr. Smith is Asked “You’re Not From Around Here, Are You?” Every Single Day of His Life
    December 5, 2016
  • Anne Murray Flies Over Province Singing ‘Snowbird’
    May 14, 2020
  • Inspired by Ukrainians, Mennonites Demand Their Own Christmas
    January 7, 2017
  • Leonard Cohen’s ‘Hallelujah’ Added to Mennonite Hymnal
    November 10, 2016
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Winnipeg Mayoral Candidate Accidentally Uses Pictures of Winkler

October 23, 2026

Edmonton Mennonites Big Fans of Mayor Knack-Zoat

October 22, 2026

Roundup Introduces New Product to Eliminate Election Signs in Your Yard

October 21, 2026

Mennonite Church’s Annual ‘Costume and Candy Party’ Eerily Similar to Halloween

October 19, 2026

Mennonites Encouraged to Get Out and Vogt

October 18, 2026

Unger Games

  • Connor Hellebuyck Leads League With Impressive 0.00 GAA So Far This Season
    October 5, 2026
  • Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg
    September 24, 2026
  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026
  • Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’
    September 13, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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