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Unger Suspicion

Spring is Here! Manitobans Excited for Only 8 More Weeks of Winter

March 22, 2023

KILLARNEY, MB It’s the beginning of spring and, you know what that means – only 8 more weeks of winter here in Manitoba. “I always love this time of year,” said Garth Reimer of Killarney. […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Woman’s Ice Cream Pails Full of Cash Completely Unaffected By Banking Crisis

March 21, 2023

LINDEN, AB Unlike a significant number of her contemporaries, Mrs. Broesky of Linden, Alberta was completely unconcerned this week about the banking crisis south of the border. “Oba, I was getting messages on the WhatsApp […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Pastor Forbids Standing in Church, Claims it ‘Leads to Dancing’
    May 26, 2017
  • Mennonite Child Accepts the Lord in the Womb
    May 20, 2017
  • Local Mennonite Church Becomes First Ever to Make it All the Way Through ‘Der Friedensfürst’ Without Messing Up
    December 22, 2018

Unger & Thirst

  • Local Pastor Offers Mennonite Hangover Cures
    January 1, 2017
  • Mennonite Woman Spends All Day Making Coleslaw No One Will Eat
    March 29, 2021
  • Uncle Undoes Pants Button to Make Room for More Sausage
    July 2, 2017

Unger the Influence

  • FBI Discovers Massive Stash of Yerba Tea at Trump Estate
    August 9, 2022
  • Mennonite Man Unfollows Daily Bonnet After It Gets Political for First Time in 6 Years
    June 28, 2022
  • “Oops, My Bad,” Say Democrats Who Forgot to Codify Roe v. Wade for Almost 50 Years
    June 26, 2022

The Daily Bonnet

  • Spring Means Courting Season for Eligible Mennonites
    March 22, 2017
  • Fight the Seven Signs of Mennonite Aging
    April 9, 2018
  • Upcoming Hurricanes To Be Given Mennonite Names
    September 6, 2017
  • Mennonites Totally Unaffected By Spike in Gas Prices
    March 10, 2022

Trending

  • Winnipeg Wonders: How Many Mennonites Does it Take to Change a Purple Lightbulb?
    March 15, 2023
  • Mennonites Shocked as Oscar Announcer Pronounces ‘Toews’ Correctly
    March 14, 2023
  • Delicious Rhubarb Platz Found in Sarah Polley’s Oscar Gift Bag
    March 13, 2023
  • Entire City of Steinbach Stymied by Globe and Mail Paywall
    March 12, 2023

Unger Suspicion

  • Top Ten Ways We Know that the Daily Bonnet is in on the Conspiracy
    May 10, 2020
  • Local Gas Station to Offer Free Eye-Gouging or Kick in the Groin with Every Purchase
    September 26, 2022
  • Local Man Signals His Own Virtue By Calling Out Virtue Signalling
    June 11, 2020
  • Documentary “The Shape of Water” Tells the Story of a Mennonite Woman and Her Husband Abe
    March 8, 2018
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Unworn James Reimer ‘Pride’ Jersey Turned into Lovely Mennonite Quilt

March 20, 2023

James Reimer Declines to Wear ‘Violent’ San Jose Sharks Jersey

March 19, 2023

Mennonite Man Refuses to Watch ‘Women Talking’ but Really Loves ‘12 Angry Men’

March 18, 2023

“Road Conditions” Keep Winnipeggers from Leaving the City to Visit the Relatives

March 17, 2023

Oscar Red Carpet Replaced with Mennonite Quilt

March 16, 2023

Unger Games

  • Unworn James Reimer ‘Pride’ Jersey Turned into Lovely Mennonite Quilt
    March 20, 2023
  • Winnipeg Jets Players Offered Part Time Jobs at Portage Place
    March 11, 2023
  • Church AGM Scheduled to Coincide with Most Important Game of the Season
    February 23, 2023
  • Jennifer Jones Finds Curlers in Altona
    February 22, 2023
  • Spy Balloon Drops Bogus Penalty Flag Onto Field During Dying Minutes of Super Bowl
    February 13, 2023

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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