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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Farm Boy to Fill In For Connor Hellebuyck Tonight

November 10, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB After apparently being absolutely petrified of playing in Winnipeg tonight, New Jersey Devils goalie Connor Hellebyuck will instead be eating a Jets Dog from the stands while little Timmy Wiebe of the Rosenort […]

Unger Suspicion

Angry Winnipeggers Demand Local Restaurant Installs Giant Animatronic Mouse to Entertain the Kids

November 9, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB When a new Winnipeg restaurant announced this week they would be prohibiting children under 15 from dining at their establishment, thousands of furious Winnipeggers took to the streets to demand not only that […]

Unger Conviction

  • Pastor’s Son By Far the Worst Behaved Kid in Sunday School
    January 18, 2018
  • Chaos in Church Kitchen as Pickle Dishes Discovered in Cream and Sugar Cupboard
    February 5, 2024
  • Steinbach Streets Clogged at 9:30 AM on a Sunday
    August 1, 2025

Unger & Thirst

  • Pennsylvania Mennonite Man Blows Entire Stimulus Check on Pig’s Head Scrapple
    April 7, 2020
  • Delusional Mennonite Man Thinks His Mom’s Vereniki are Better than Your Mom’s Vereniki
    September 6, 2019
  • Mennonite Man Takes Extra Shot of Ozempic Before Lunch at Oma’s
    July 23, 2024

Unger the Influence

  • White House Reinstates Day to Honour Guy Who Directed ‘Home Alone’
    October 13, 2026
  • Albertans to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Separation
    October 11, 2026
  • Pentagon Introduces New “Firing Squad” Video Game for Kids
    October 10, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Lady Uses Google Earth to Spy on Neighbours
    August 31, 2017
  • Mennonite Scrapbooker Documents Literally Every Second of Family’s Life For the Past Two Decades
    May 18, 2019
  • Concerning New Mennonite Workplace Trend: Quiet Quilting
    April 2, 2023
  • Steinbach Man Waits 3 Years for Bus that Never Comes
    May 1, 2024

Trending

  • Winkler to Set Clocks One Hour Ahead of Morden
    November 1, 2026
  • Winnipeg Couple Dress as Country’s Scariest Creature: Canada Geese
    October 31, 2026
  • Mennonite Couple Make Sure to Eat at Home Before Jets Game
    October 30, 2026
  • City’s Top Chef Mortified to Discover His ‘Charcuterie Board’ is Just Glorified Faspa
    October 29, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Hutterite Woman Rollerblades Her Way Into Mennonite Man’s Heart
    July 19, 2018
  • Reitmans Introduces New ‘Angine de Poitrine’ Line
    August 9, 2026
  • Mennonites Overwhelmingly Prefer Adam West to Any Other Batman
    June 11, 2017
  • Voters Head to the Polls to Select the 45th Lesser Evil of the United States
    November 8, 2016
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Steinbachers Starve for Lack of Fast Food Chains

November 8, 2026

Wab Kinew Accidentally Sets Manitoba on Permanent Summer

November 7, 2026

Mennonite Man Takes 28 Years to Walk from Winkler to Morden

November 5, 2026

Historic Comeback Gives Winnipeg Jets Control of House and Senate

November 4, 2026

Winnipeg Man Absolutely Exhausted Due to Lack of Time Change

November 3, 2026

Unger Games

  • Historic Comeback Gives Winnipeg Jets Control of House and Senate
    November 4, 2026
  • Mennonite Couple Make Sure to Eat at Home Before Jets Game
    October 30, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Leads League With Impressive 0.00 GAA So Far This Season
    October 5, 2026
  • Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg
    September 24, 2026
  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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