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Unger Conviction

General Conference Strikes Last Minute Deal to Lift Tariffs on Mennonite Brethren

August 17, 2026

GOSHEN, IN Just as US President Donald Trump seems hellbent on starting trade wars (and real wars) around the globe, the Mennonite Brethren and Mennonite Church have inked a brand new free trade deal that […]

Unger Games

Massive Simon Hildebrandt Statue Appears Outside MBCI

August 16, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB Just hours after hitting the championship-winning three-pointer for the Winnipeg Sea Bears this weekend, a massive 50 foot fall bronze statue of Simon Hildebrandt appeared outside his alma matter, Mennonite Brethren Collegiate Institute. […]

Unger Conviction

  • Stop Playing God! 7 Ways You’re Playing God Without Even Realizing It!
    August 3, 2021
  • Dating Couple Finds Convenient Loophole in Purity Pledge
    March 27, 2018
  • Thousands of Catholics Forced to Become Anabaptists After Priest Says One Wrong Word
    February 16, 2022

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Woman Spends All Day Making Coleslaw No One Will Eat
    March 29, 2021
  • For Dessert Today? Sugar Cubes Dipped in Coffee
    June 5, 2023
  • Dill Harvest Early this Year
    July 2, 2025

Unger the Influence

  • Trump Really Excited About New $1.8 Billion Slush Fund
    May 20, 2026
  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Corny vs. Menno? Which name do you hear?
    May 19, 2018
  • New Gun Control Laws Leave Local Man “Completely Defenceless” Against Government Armed with Tanks and Fighter Jets
    May 7, 2020
  • Looming Postal Strike Causes Concern for Mennonites Trying to Communicate With Relatives
    August 29, 2016
  • B.M. Friesen and Sons Electrical to Rebrand
    December 7, 2020

Trending

  • Reitmans Introduces New ‘Angine de Poitrine’ Line
    August 9, 2026
  • Mennonites Fill Copper Wire Shortage By Stretching Pennies
    August 8, 2026
  • Steinbach Unveils New Public Transit System
    August 5, 2026
  • Mennonite Grandma Punishes Grandkids By Making Them Chew Thrills Gum
    August 4, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Abbotsford Fans Get Shout Out on Title Track of New Taylor Swift Album
    October 5, 2025
  • Brian Pallister Sends Out Emergency Alert Warning Manitobans that He is Still Premier
    May 23, 2021
  • Church Elders Launch Powerful ‘James Wiebe Telescope’ to Keep An Eye on Misbehaving Mennonites
    July 28, 2022
  • In Trying Times, Americans Always Put Forward Their Very Brightest and Best
    April 8, 2020
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Thousands of Mennonites Barely Clinging to Life During Nationwide Cottage Cheese Shortage

August 14, 2026

World’s Sturdiest Ice Maker Lasts a Record Three Days

August 13, 2026

Eclipse Glasses Required to Safely View Sunday’s Worship Service

August 12, 2026

Mennonite Woman Forgets to Put Star Anise in Her Chicken Soup

August 11, 2026

Mennonite Man Buys Back All the Albums He Was Forced to Burn in the 70s

August 10, 2026

Unger Games

  • Massive Simon Hildebrandt Statue Appears Outside MBCI
    August 16, 2026
  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026
  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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