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Unger the Influence

Carney Just One MP Resignation Away From Minority Government the People Voted For

May 29, 2026

OTTAWA, ON After months of finagling, it looks like Prime Minister Mark Carney is just one MP resignation from his goal of giving the Canadian public what the voted for in the first place. “It’s […]

Unger & Thirst

Enhanced Games Allow Athletes to Use Summa Borscht

May 28, 2026

LAS VEGAS, NV The inaugural Enhanced Games in Las Vegas this week will allow athletes from around the world to compete under the influence of summa borscht. “It’s the first of its kind to allow […]

Unger Conviction

  • Olive Garden Runs Out of Gift Cards During Pastor Appreciation Month
    October 15, 2019
  • Affluent Attention-Starved Couple Lodges Complaint Against Pastor for Not Visiting them as Often as Actual People in Need
    July 13, 2019
  • Presence of Rock Band in Elkhart Sparks Fiery Theological Debate
    November 2, 2023

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Celebrities Featured on New YouTube Series ‘Bland Ones’
    September 19, 2021
  • Raw Onions 30% More Effective than Castor Oil to Prevent Swearing
    April 24, 2017
  • Steinbachers to Vote on Whether to Legalize Romaine Lettuce
    November 25, 2018

Unger the Influence

  • Doug Ford to Exclusively Travel by Horse and Buggy from Now On
    April 19, 2026
  • Conservatives Form Majority Government
    April 14, 2026
  • “I thought it was me as a trajchtmoaka,” Trump says
    April 13, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Man Completes Bathroom Renovation in Mere Decades
    January 9, 2022
  • 10 Mennonite Satire Headlines Written by ChatGPT
    June 15, 2023
  • Mennonites Gather for Harder-Dyck Wedding
    November 8, 2024
  • The Seven Hottest Mennonite Sex Positions
    February 14, 2021

Trending

  • Trump Really Excited About New $1.8 Billion Slush Fund
    May 20, 2026
  • Mennonite Woman Permanently Trapped in New Landmark Roundabout
    May 19, 2026
  • Winnipeg Metro Region Hoists Centennial Cup
    May 18, 2026
  • Baal Really Excited for New Statue in His Honour
    May 17, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Christians to Stop Killing Other Christians for at Least a Couple Minutes on Easter Sunday
    April 20, 2025
  • Efforts Intensify to Dislodge Fred Penner from Log
    March 27, 2021
  • Moscow Opens Lovely New 55+ Apartments for Retired Dictators
    December 10, 2024
  • “That’s a personal question”: Area Politician Remains Silent on Science and Logic
    August 2, 2021
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Carney to Raze 72 Million Acres of Old Growth Forest to Make Copies of Guilbeault’s Resignation Letter

May 27, 2026

Petro-Canada Introduces New Farmer Sausage-Scented Air Fresheners

May 26, 2026

Andrew Unger Celebrates 10 Years of Schmaunt Fat Jokes

May 25, 2026

Ed Sullivan Theatre to Be Demolished and Replaced with Donald J. Trump Center for Free Speech

May 22, 2026

Potato Discovered in Mennonite Man’s Vereniki

May 21, 2026

Unger Games

  • Enhanced Games Allow Athletes to Use Summa Borscht
    May 28, 2026
  • Winnipeg Metro Region Hoists Centennial Cup
    May 18, 2026
  • Donald Trump Tells Iran He Holds All the Cards
    May 13, 2026
  • Tariffs Move Leafs’ Pick from First to Sixty-Seventh
    May 6, 2026
  • Taber Arena Will No Longer Be Flooded With Schmaunt Fat After Winning Kraft Hockeyville
    April 5, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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