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Unger Suspicion

90-Year-Old Grandma Emerges Victorious in Senior Assassin 2026

May 12, 2026

ALTONA, MB Mrs. Dorothy Wiebe of Altona was the last senior in town not to get sprayed with a water gun this week and has been crowned winner of Senior Assassin 2026. “I knew they […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Sets Record for Tallest Bowl at Mongo’s Grill

May 10, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB Klaas Siemens of Rosenort was in the city this week and decided to stop at his favourite restaurant Mongo’s Grill, where he set a new record for successfully piling the most ingredients into […]

Unger Conviction

  • Guest Gets Totally Lost on the Way to 100 Huntley Street
    May 21, 2017
  • Bible College Now Offering Shorter 6-Month MRS Degree
    March 13, 2025
  • Mennonite Woman Claps Along to Worship Song
    May 14, 2017

Unger & Thirst

  • How old were you when you first began to like borscht?
    April 2, 2021
  • Manitoba Woman Totally Baffled by ‘Honour System’ in Kitchener
    July 11, 2019
  • Mennonite Man Tests Positive for Coke
    December 30, 2018

Unger the Influence

  • Mennonites Hired to Drain the Strait of Hormuz
    March 17, 2026
  • Conservatives Vote to Reaffirm Party Leader Mark Carney
    March 6, 2026
  • Funk and Penner Endorse Penner for Goertzen’s Job Reports Peters from Reimer
    March 1, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Father Tortures Family By Taking a Ride to the Country to Look at the Crops
    August 16, 2021
  • Local Bible College Records First Nasty Breakup of the Year
    September 1, 2024
  • Mennonite Man is Completely ‘Full of Schmidt’
    October 11, 2023
  • ‘Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Abes’ Opens in Mennonite Town
    January 17, 2019

Trending

  • Mennonite Man Finally Takes Off His Winter Tires
    May 4, 2026
  • James Comey Indicted Over ‘606 47’ Seashell Photo
    May 3, 2026
  • Hog Farmers Concerned as Manitoba Seeks to Ban AI
    May 2, 2026
  • Mennonite Woman’s Algorithm Nothing But Vereniki
    May 1, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Huge Crowd for Kate Bowler has People Thinking Taylor Swift is in Town
    February 15, 2024
  • Edmonton Man Really Upset His Favourite Team Would Change their Name … or Logo, Colours, Jersey, Mascot, Location, Stadium, Turf, Ownership, Ticket Prices, Players, Coaching Staff, Management, Special Teams Strategy …
    July 21, 2020
  • Toronto Maple Leafs Pursue First Goal Since 1967
    October 4, 2017
  • Toronto Argos Celebrate Victory with Reception in Mennonite Church Basement
    November 21, 2022
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Nationwide Cottage Cheese Shortage Causes Mennonites to Compromise Cherished Values for First Time Ever

May 9, 2026

Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”

May 8, 2026

Mennonite Man Doesn’t Have Enough Space on Census Form to List All His Kids

May 7, 2026

Tariffs Move Leafs’ Pick from First to Sixty-Seventh

May 6, 2026

Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor

May 5, 2026

Unger Games

  • Tariffs Move Leafs’ Pick from First to Sixty-Seventh
    May 6, 2026
  • Taber Arena Will No Longer Be Flooded With Schmaunt Fat After Winning Kraft Hockeyville
    April 5, 2026
  • Peters “Makes It to First Base” Giving Hope to Young Men Across Winkler
    April 4, 2026
  • Jason Kelce Spotted on Manitoba Farm in Full Mennonite Attire
    March 11, 2026
  • American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey
    February 26, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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