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Unger Games

Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights

September 1, 2026

BLUMENORT, MB Disgruntled Winnipeg Jets goalie Connor Hellebuyck is demanding a trade to the only team he’s willing to play for – the Blumenort Menno Knights. “We’re working on a deal that will send Hellebuyck […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Introduces Japanese A5 Wagyu Jreewe

August 30, 2026

REINLAND, MB Area man David Kehler, 51, renowned as something of a gourmand in the Reinland area, has just introduced new premium crackles. “We’re taking leftover bits of fatting meat stuck to the pan to […]

Unger Conviction

  • Report: Shallow Repetitive Worship Songs More Pleasing to the Lord than Hymns
    September 2, 2018
  • Mennonite Church Holds Lottery to See Who Can Attend Church this Week
    February 23, 2021
  • Church Affiliation to be Included on New Steinbach Election Ballots
    October 27, 2018

Unger & Thirst

  • Poll: What is Your Favourite Flavour of Knackzoat?
    June 7, 2019
  • Jennifer Aniston Doused in Schmaunt Fat on Set of ‘The Morning Show’
    August 8, 2024
  • How to Measure Your BMI (Body Mennonite Index)
    July 29, 2018

Unger the Influence

  • Carney Just One MP Resignation Away From Minority Government the People Voted For
    May 29, 2026
  • Carney to Raze 72 Million Acres of Old Growth Forest to Make Copies of Guilbeault’s Resignation Letter
    May 27, 2026
  • Trump Really Excited About New $1.8 Billion Slush Fund
    May 20, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonites Flock to Get their Hands on $65 Elton John T-Shirts
    October 5, 2019
  • Hopes of McDonald’s Dashed as Mennonite Children Told “We Have Perfectly Good Food at Home!”
    May 30, 2022
  • Mennonite Man is Completely ‘Full of Schmidt’
    October 11, 2023
  • Peter Reimer Comes From A Long Line of Peter Reimers
    November 17, 2021

Trending

  • Mennonites Demand Low German on Cereal Boxes
    August 24, 2026
  • Mennonite Man Gifts Wife Wrong Kind Of Dutch Oven
    August 23, 2026
  • Howard Lutnick Successfully Negotiates Massive $20 Billion Distraction From Epstein Island
    August 22, 2026
  • Canada Agrees To Allow American Booze But Only If It’s All Pappy Van Winkle
    August 21, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Justin Trudeau Really Hoping Everyone Just Goes Back to Talking About the SNC-Lavalin Scandal
    September 19, 2019
  • Man Who Desperately Needs Life Coach to Become Life Coach
    January 24, 2020
  • Babylon Bee Accidentally Mocks Rich White Cis Hetero Man
    June 27, 2022
  • Andrew Harris Shatters Record for Most Rushing Yards by a Steinbacher
    August 21, 2022
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Winkler Attempts to Rename Morden

August 29, 2026

Mennonite Child Suspended for Speaking Low German at Recess

August 28, 2026

Toddler Demands Lake Ontario Be Renamed Lake Poopy Pants

August 27, 2026

Trump To Relocate Mines From Strait of Hormuz To Lake Ontario

August 26, 2026

Trump Threatens to Rename Lake Winnipeg if Wab Kinew Doesn’t Stop Saying Mean Things About Him

August 25, 2026

Unger Games

  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026
  • Massive Simon Hildebrandt Statue Appears Outside MBCI
    August 16, 2026
  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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