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Unger the Influence

Premier Wab Kinew Finally Visits Steinbach Just as Every Local Politician is Mysteriously Out of Town

September 12, 2026

STEINBACH, MB There was not a single local politician available to greet Premier Wab Kinew in Steinbach this afternoon. “I guess they all went to the lake,” said Kinew as he arrived at KR Barkman […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Mistakes MLCC for MCC

September 11, 2026

WINKLER, MB Local woman Mrs. Froese just moved to town from Jantsied and decided to spend her Saturday afternoon running a few errands. “I asked Mrs. Penner where yet is the Em See See and […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Teens Survive Boring Sermon with New Nintendo Switch
    June 7, 2025
  • Mennonite Church Hires First Non-Yoder Pastor
    February 9, 2017
  • Hillsong Documentary Crew Turns Lens on Tiny Mennonite Country Church
    July 29, 2022

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Man Lusts After Another Man’s Plate of Food as it Passes
    August 22, 2022
  • Server Left Waiting Awkwardly at the Table for Mennonite Couple to Finish Praying
    January 21, 2018
  • Mennonite Woman Stocks Up on Dented Cans and Bruised Bananas
    June 14, 2021

Unger the Influence

  • Trump to “Completely Destroy” Military He “Completely Destroyed” Last Week
    May 30, 2026
  • Carney Just One MP Resignation Away From Minority Government the People Voted For
    May 29, 2026
  • Carney to Raze 72 Million Acres of Old Growth Forest to Make Copies of Guilbeault’s Resignation Letter
    May 27, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonites Desperate to Find Some Relation to Davy Klaassen
    November 23, 2022
  • Top 10 Songs! Your Ultimate Knackzoat Radio Playlist!
    September 12, 2021
  • St. Catharines, Ontario to be Renamed Taunte Katherine’s
    February 24, 2021
  • Mennonite Man Finally Takes Off His Winter Tires
    May 4, 2026

Trending

  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026
  • Mennonite Man Introduces Japanese A5 Wagyu Jreewe
    August 30, 2026
  • Winkler Attempts to Rename Morden
    August 29, 2026
  • Mennonite Child Suspended for Speaking Low German at Recess
    August 28, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • ‘Huge Adele Fan’ Discovers She’s Actually Been Listening to Lauren Daigle for the Past Five Years
    May 16, 2022
  • Don Cherry Says Suit is Inspired By Mennonite Floor Patterns
    May 31, 2018
  • Kevin O’Leary Encourages Mennonites to ‘Work Harder, Make More Money, Be More Industrious’
    November 12, 2016
  • Local Band Royal Canoe to be Knighted by Queen Elizabeth II
    June 15, 2016
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Mennonite Man to Gift Entire Province with Smell of Money

September 9, 2026

New UN Map Finally Shows Paraguay At Its Actual Size

September 8, 2026

Prime Minister, Bryan Adams Share Roll Kuchen in Altona

September 5, 2026

Mennonite Man Takes 5 Hours to Pass Semi

September 3, 2026

Mennonite Woman in Existential Crisis at Grocery Store

September 2, 2026

Unger Games

  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026
  • Massive Simon Hildebrandt Statue Appears Outside MBCI
    August 16, 2026
  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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