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Unger Games

American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey

February 26, 2026

OTTAWA, ON Moments after the US victory on Sunday morning, millions of Canadians have decided they no longer have any interest in the sport of hockey. “President Trump warned us of this very thing,” said […]

Unger Games

Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal

February 25, 2026

WASHINGTON, DC President Trump announced this afternoon that he would be awarding Winnipeg Jets/Team USA goaltender Connor Helleybuyck the nation’s highest civilian honour. “And that, of course, is that made up coal trophy I was […]

Unger Conviction

  • 100 Million Viewers Expected to Watch Tonight’s Televised Mennonite Elder Board Meeting
    September 26, 2016
  • Trudeau to Mennonite Pastors: ‘Stop Speaking So Moistly’
    April 8, 2020
  • Mennonite Man Kicked Out of Church for Calling Pastor a ‘Wacko’
    April 30, 2024

Unger & Thirst

  • Adorable Mennonite Child Becomes Millionaire Selling Chocolates to Old People
    March 25, 2018
  • Municipality Approves the Sale of Hash Brownies at Church Bake Sales
    November 9, 2017
  • Mennonite Woman Discovers Huge Selection of “Cooking Wine” at Local LC
    September 16, 2025

Unger the Influence

  • Andrew Unger Gifted Secondhand Nobel Prize for Literature
    January 21, 2026
  • American Soldiers Accidentally Invade Greenland Road
    January 17, 2026
  • Ottawa Disappointed with Gun Buyback Program in Mennonite Country
    January 11, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • New Vertical Money Confuses Mennonite Man
    August 9, 2019
  • Mennonite Man with Pickup Truck Constantly Asked to Help Move
    May 25, 2019
  • Mennonite Family Working on Same Jigsaw Puzzle Since 1987
    January 6, 2020
  • Mennonite Woman Resolves Not to Gossip in 2017
    January 15, 2017

Trending

  • Canadian Curler Accused of “Knipsing” Stone
    February 18, 2026
  • Manitoba Issues Province-wide “Yellow Snow” Warning
    February 17, 2026
  • I Searched the Epstein Files for Mennonite Content – This is What I Found
    February 16, 2026
  • France Humiliates Canada By Losing Only By a Score of 10-2
    February 15, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Manitobans Shocked to Experience an Actual Fall this Year
    October 22, 2023
  • Search of Clinton’s Wikileaks Emails for the Word “Mennonite” Reveals Not Much of Interest
    November 2, 2016
  • Man Who Believes Any Stupid Crap He Reads Online Thinks You’re the One Who’s a Sheep
    August 8, 2021
  • Mennonite Man Has Suspenders Confiscated at Quebec Border
    October 15, 2018
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Carney to Melt Down All of Canada’s Unwanted Olympic Medals to Build High Speed Rail Line

February 24, 2026

Connor Hellebuyck Reassures Jets Fans He Won’t Ever Play That Well Again

February 23, 2026

Massive Stockpile of Silver Medals Discovered at Local Thrift Store

February 22, 2026

Abbotsford Man Has No Excuse to Miss Church Tomorrow Since He’ll Be Up at 5 AM Anyway Watching Hockey

February 21, 2026

James Talarico Article Pulled from the Unger Review

February 19, 2026

Unger Games

  • American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey
    February 26, 2026
  • Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal
    February 25, 2026
  • Carney to Melt Down All of Canada’s Unwanted Olympic Medals to Build High Speed Rail Line
    February 24, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Reassures Jets Fans He Won’t Ever Play That Well Again
    February 23, 2026
  • Massive Stockpile of Silver Medals Discovered at Local Thrift Store
    February 22, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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