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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Finishes the Internet

August 15, 2026
Unger & Thirst

Thousands of Mennonites Barely Clinging to Life During Nationwide Cottage Cheese Shortage

August 14, 2026

SASKATOON, SK Thousands of Mennonites are barely surviving this summer after a shortage of cottage cheese has left them without the necessary sustenance for life. “My Henry’s a fighter, but I’m just not sure how […]

Unger Conviction

  • Wealthy Mennonites Bribe Their Way Into All the Best Sunday Schools
    March 15, 2019
  • That Hymn 606 Sure Gets Around
    September 21, 2021
  • Christian Service Brigade Defends Church Basement from Invading Pioneer Girls
    October 21, 2021

Unger & Thirst

  • Funeral Cancelled After Bridge Fire Cuts Off Cheese Curd Supply
    May 11, 2023
  • Second Bag of Old Dutch Chips Discovered in Box
    May 15, 2022
  • Biblical Literalist Accidentally Eats Shellfish
    August 5, 2022

Unger the Influence

  • Trump Really Excited About New $1.8 Billion Slush Fund
    May 20, 2026
  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Cindy Klassen Spotted Wearing Skates at Beach
    August 2, 2017
  • Mennonite Union Demands 80 Hour Work Week
    May 1, 2018
  • Local Author Stays Covid Safe with Ingenious Stick and Pen Combo
    May 28, 2021
  • Group Proposes to Move Steinbach’s Summer Festival to the Very Coldest Day of the Year
    June 18, 2016

Trending

  • Mennonites Fill Copper Wire Shortage By Stretching Pennies
    August 8, 2026
  • Steinbach Unveils New Public Transit System
    August 5, 2026
  • Mennonite Grandma Punishes Grandkids By Making Them Chew Thrills Gum
    August 4, 2026
  • Rhubarb Discovered on Mennonite Woman’s Vereniki
    August 3, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Canada and Denmark Reach Settlement Over Disputed Nikolaj Ehlers
    June 21, 2022
  • Abe Claims Landslide Victory in Japanese Election
    October 24, 2017
  • Cal-gary Man Insists He’s from ‘Calgree’
    November 13, 2019
  • Menno Simons to be Featured in New XBox Game
    May 24, 2019
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World’s Sturdiest Ice Maker Lasts a Record Three Days

August 13, 2026

Eclipse Glasses Required to Safely View Sunday’s Worship Service

August 12, 2026

Mennonite Woman Forgets to Put Star Anise in Her Chicken Soup

August 11, 2026

Mennonite Man Buys Back All the Albums He Was Forced to Burn in the 70s

August 10, 2026

Reitmans Introduces New ‘Angine de Poitrine’ Line

August 9, 2026

Unger Games

  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026
  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026
  • Canada Loses to Morocco After Not Getting Enough Pucks to the Net
    July 5, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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