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Unger & Thirst

City of Steinbach Issues ‘Boil Schmaunt Fat’ Advisory

April 21, 2026

STEINBACH, MB The City of Steinbach is urging residents to boil their schmaunt fat this afternoon after a private contractor accidentally damaged the pipe that supplies locals with clean fresh white cream gravy. “If it […]

Unger & Thirst

Server Stops By to Ask if Everything’s Tasting Good So Far Just as Area Man Takes Final Bite

April 20, 2026

ARBORG, MB Area man Dan Wiens was just about finished his meatloaf and mashed potatoes this evening when the server finally popped by to see how the first few bites tasted. “Umm, it was good,” […]

Unger Conviction

  • Steinbach Declared “Most Generous” Contributors to Church Gymnasium Funds
    March 24, 2023
  • Deceased Man Has No Idea His Funeral Being Used for Fire and Brimstone Altar Call
    November 2, 2024
  • Last Church in Town Finally Drops ‘Cumbersome Mennonite Label’
    March 26, 2018

Unger & Thirst

  • How old were you when you first began to like borscht?
    April 2, 2021
  • Entire Package of Saltines Needed to Stomach Mrs. Epp’s Somma Borscht
    July 6, 2021
  • Pastor Declares Self-Service Corn Stand an ‘Evil Temptress’
    August 31, 2016

Unger the Influence

  • James Talarico Article Pulled from the Unger Review
    February 19, 2026
  • White House Demands New Bridge Be Rerouted to Epstein Island
    February 11, 2026
  • George Washington Completely “Absolved” in New Epstein Files
    February 1, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Graduated Licensing Program Adds New ‘Winkler Driver’ Stage Below ‘Learner’
    July 21, 2021
  • Mennonite Couple Accidentally Ventures Into Osborne Village
    April 7, 2017
  • Mennonite Man Wakes Up Bright and Early to Get in a Full Day of Quality Puttering
    April 10, 2025
  • How large does your town have to be before you can start flipping off other drivers? A guide for Mennonites
    February 27, 2024

Trending

  • Mennonite Man Wears His Very Best Carhartt to Church
    April 12, 2026
  • Americans Demand the Flooding of Saskatchewan and Manitoba to Give their Ships Easier Access to Canadian Oil
    April 11, 2026
  • Thousands of Poultry Farmers Accidentally Show Up at ‘National Poetry Month’ Event
    April 10, 2026
  • Killing People Only Way to Achieve Lasting Peace, Leaders Insist
    April 8, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Elon Musk Offers $1 Million to Anyone Who Can Pry His Hands from Skinny Jeans
    October 25, 2024
  • Tragedy Befalls Mennonite Man After Not Liking and Sharing Anti-Trudeau Meme
    April 20, 2021
  • Elderly Mennonite Woman Picks Off Johnny Manziel Four Times in CFL Debut
    August 9, 2018
  • Fred Penner’s Cat Fails to Return
    March 24, 2017
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Doug Ford to Exclusively Travel by Horse and Buggy from Now On

April 19, 2026

Fans Petition Rock and Roll Hall of Fame to Induct Paraguayan Harpist Eduard Klassen

April 18, 2026

Angine de Poitrine Turn Out to be a Couple Mennonite Boys from Winkler

April 15, 2026

Conservatives Form Majority Government

April 14, 2026

“I thought it was me as a trajchtmoaka,” Trump says

April 13, 2026

Unger Games

  • Taber Arena Will No Longer Be Flooded With Schmaunt Fat After Winning Kraft Hockeyville
    April 5, 2026
  • Peters “Makes It to First Base” Giving Hope to Young Men Across Winkler
    April 4, 2026
  • Jason Kelce Spotted on Manitoba Farm in Full Mennonite Attire
    March 11, 2026
  • American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey
    February 26, 2026
  • Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal
    February 25, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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