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Unger & Thirst

All Steinbach Restaurants to Serve Nothing but Pizza from Now On

December 16, 2025

STEINBACH, MB “If there’s one thing Steinbach lacks, it’s pizza restaurants,” said local man Mr. Bueckert. “I mean, if I want to order pizza I need at least thirty or forty options rather than the […]

Unger the Influence

Liberals Just One Mennonite MP Away from Majority Government

December 15, 2025

OTTAWA, ON With several defections in the last few weeks, the Liberals are now just one Mennonite MP away from a majority government and, of course, they’re looking for MPs who might be receptive to […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Pastor Baptizes Hundreds of Total Strangers at Local Waterslide
    June 7, 2017
  • Bench Clearing Brawl at Mennonite Church Hockey Tournament
    November 15, 2017
  • Area Man Devotes Himself to Memorizing “Jesus Wept” By End of the Year
    February 3, 2025

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Man Caught Skipping Family Gathering to Hang Out at The Public
    August 12, 2023
  • ‘Hands that Have Prepared It’ Feel Extra Blessed
    April 18, 2018
  • Mennonite Woman Spotted with Crown Royal Bag
    May 17, 2018

Unger the Influence

  • Danielle Smith Adds Canadian Constitution to Alberta’s Banned Books List
    October 29, 2025
  • White House Ends Trade Talks with Canada Over Alex P. Keaton Commercial
    October 24, 2025
  • Canada Post to Replace Air Mail with New Horse and Buggy Service
    September 29, 2025

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Family Wastes Entire Vacation Visiting Relatives
    July 27, 2019
  • Niverville to Honour Patron Saint David Bergen
    June 9, 2022
  • Goshen College to Open New ‘Bad Library’ Right Next to the Good Library
    November 14, 2022
  • Mennonite Woman Invokes Emergencies Act to Remove Husband from Bathroom
    February 24, 2022

Trending

  • Trump Wins Inaugural Nobel Prize for Soccer
    December 6, 2025
  • Canadian Shoppers Concerned as Fargo Reinstates Wood Chipper Executions
    December 5, 2025
  • Mrs. Friesen Rushes Inside to Avoid Freezing Her Buns
    December 4, 2025
  • Mennonite Woman Finally Takes Down Last Year’s Christmas Cards Just as This Year’s Start to Arrive
    December 2, 2025

Unger Suspicion

  • Manitobans Gather to Celebrate 150 Years of Undriveable Roads
    May 12, 2020
  • Mennonites! Come Join the Glorious Nation of North Korea!
    April 11, 2017
  • Alberta Man Deported for Failing to Drive an F150
    August 4, 2021
  • New Biopic Reveals Freddie Mercury’s ‘Secret Wild Mennonite Life’
    February 16, 2019
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Untimely Victory Throws Jets Off Pace of Being Just as Pathetic as Vancouver by Christmas

December 14, 2025

Foreign Visitors Scramble to Erase ‘Unger Review’ from Phone Before Entering the US

December 12, 2025

Kirk Cameron Reaffirms Belief in ‘Eternal Conscious Torment’ After Sitting Through One of His Own Movies

December 11, 2025

Goertzen to Spend Retirement Years Playing High Stakes Competitive Crokinole

December 10, 2025

FIFA Peace Prize Discovered at Local Thrift Store

December 7, 2025

Unger Games

  • Untimely Victory Throws Jets Off Pace of Being Just as Pathetic as Vancouver by Christmas
    December 14, 2025
  • Trump Wins Inaugural Nobel Prize for Soccer
    December 6, 2025
  • Winnipeg Jets Plan to Lose Every Game Until Hellebuyck Comes Back
    November 30, 2025
  • McGill Cuts Beloved Crokinole Team
    November 28, 2025
  • Local Dad Gets Full Time Job Carting His Kids Around to Sports
    November 25, 2025

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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