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Unger & Thirst

Winnipeg Police Seize Mennonite Woman’s Basket of Chanterelles

May 21, 2023

WINNIPEG, MB In an effort to crack down on mushrooms in the city, local police raided a North Kildonan home this week and seized Mrs. Driedger’s basket of wild chanterelles. “Oba, Harry and I had […]

Daily Bonnet

Moving Day Quickly Devolves into Petty Competition to See Which Insecure Mennonite Man Can Carry the Most Boxes at Once

May 20, 2023

LA CRETE, AB It was moving day for the Krahns of La Crete and you know what that means – a semi-regular gathering of insecure Mennonite men trying to outdo each other by carrying the […]

Unger Conviction

  • Church Launches New Program: ‘Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner and Staying All Night?’
    May 7, 2019
  • Mennonite Man Nails ’95 Theses’ to the Door of Local Church
    November 11, 2016
  • Mennonite Minister Excommunicates Entire Congregation
    October 7, 2020

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Steakhouse Adds Fried Bologna to Menu
    December 13, 2017
  • Fourth Wiseman Rejected for Bringing Halva
    December 23, 2017
  • Mennonite Potluck Offers Incredible Array of Macaroni Salads
    October 16, 2022

Unger the Influence

  • Midterm ‘Red Wave’ Turns Out To Be Nothing But Farmer Sausage
    November 11, 2022
  • Winkler to Implement New ‘ArriveVankla’ App
    September 22, 2022
  • Mennonites Urge Joe Biden to Forgive Their Sunday School Expenses
    August 25, 2022

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Woman Spends Ten Hours Trying to Figure Out Who Unfriended Her
    February 1, 2019
  • Left Lane Between Steinbach and Blumenort to be Designated “Slow Minivan Lane”
    December 9, 2018
  • Local Woman Completely Hooked on The Mennodalorian
    January 25, 2021
  • Mennonite Family Discovered Camping in Briercrest Parking Lot
    August 23, 2022

Trending

  • WestJet Accidentally Announces New Direct Flights from Winnipeg to Altona
    May 13, 2023
  • Funeral Cancelled After Bridge Fire Cuts Off Cheese Curd Supply
    May 11, 2023
  • In Resurfaced Music Video, Danielle Smith Calls 75% of Albertans “Crazy Mennonites Living in an Amish Paradise”
    May 10, 2023
  • Kleefeld Seniors Group Stages Production of Cinderella (Headline Contest Winner #5)
    May 9, 2023

Unger Suspicion

  • Canadian Olympians Forced to Pay Back Half Their Medals in Taxes
    February 13, 2018
  • Joke Crosses the Line Yet Again Today
    September 7, 2017
  • World’s “Most Powerful Nation” Loses Yet Another War
    August 17, 2021
  • Tragedy Befalls Mennonite Man After Not Liking and Sharing Anti-Trudeau Meme
    April 20, 2021
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Mennonite Man Brings Shame to the Entire Friesen Clan by Clapping Between Movements

May 19, 2023

Jello Fruit Salad Proves Too Tempting for Mennonite Man

May 17, 2023

Unger Review – Headline Contest #6

May 16, 2023

Cottage Cheese Vereniki Wins Landslide Victory Over Potato and Cheddar Perogies

May 15, 2023

Manitoba to Repatriate All Mennonites Who Moved to BC

May 14, 2023

Unger Games

  • Steinbach Pistons to Face Blumenort Menno Knights
    May 5, 2023
  • Jets Disgusted After Disgusting Performance Leads Coach to be Disgusted
    April 30, 2023
  • Toews Plays Final Game for Chicago
    April 15, 2023
  • Jets Add Mennonite Sunday School Teacher to Lowly Power Play Unit
    March 23, 2023
  • Unworn James Reimer ‘Pride’ Jersey Turned into Lovely Mennonite Quilt
    March 20, 2023

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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