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The Daily Bonnet

Winnipeg’s Population Surpasses 850,000 Friesens

July 27, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB According to a recent Statistics Canada estimate, the City of Winnipeg now has a population of just over 850,000 Friesens. “And growing,” said mayor Scott Gillingham, one of just three individuals in the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Family Wastes Entire Vacation Visiting Relatives

July 26, 2026

TABER, AB The Kehlers of Grunthal only get two weeks vacation each year and for some reason have decided to blow it all on visiting frintschoft. “Miami? Paris? No. It’s Taber for us!” said Mrs. […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Child Forced to Miss ‘Wonderful World of Disney’ to Attend Evening Service
    June 18, 2021
  • Church Basement Chair Recruited To Help Change Lightbulb
    August 16, 2024
  • Streets are So Empty that Mennonite Man Thinks He Missed the Rapture
    April 10, 2020

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Man Tries Unsuccessfully to Get a Buzz from Ginger Ale
    November 9, 2024
  • New Reports Claims Children Just Faking It, Most Absolutely Love Broccoli and Brussels Sprouts
    June 4, 2022
  • Mennonites React to Doug Ford’s ‘Buck a Beer’ Plan
    May 30, 2018

Unger the Influence

  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026
  • James Comey Indicted Over ‘606 47’ Seashell Photo
    May 3, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Man Already Crafting His Snarky Rebuttal to Michael Zwaagstra’s Latest Column
    October 28, 2022
  • Mennonites are Turning their Old Laine Jerseys into Quilts
    January 24, 2021
  • Taunte Lina Becomes Instagram Influencer
    February 16, 2021
  • Wedding Venue Offers 10% Discount During Manure Spreading Season
    May 2, 2025

Trending

  • Christopher Nolan Casts Pacifist Mennonite Farmer as Odysseus
    July 20, 2026
  • US Strikes Iran With Their Most Powerful Weapon: Taco Bell Lettuce
    July 19, 2026
  • Trump to Fence Off the Border to Keep Out Canadian Smoke
    July 18, 2026
  • Mennonite Woman Lucks Out With New Licence Plate
    July 16, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Local Man Becomes First Ever Graduate of PragerU
    August 4, 2020
  • Car Manages to Stay Clean for a Record Two Minutes After Leaving Car Wash
    March 15, 2024
  • Mennonite Church Boycotts ‘Sexy Centennial’ Celebrations
    July 1, 2017
  • Long-Suffering Vegas Knights Fan Finally Sees His Team Win the Cup
    April 10, 2018
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Southern Manitoba Transitions from Agricultural-Based Economy to Wedding Venue-Based Economy

July 25, 2026

Mennonite Aunt Shocked To Discover She’s Been Excluded From Family Group Chat This Whole Time

July 24, 2026

Mennonites Flock to Nickelback Concert to Collect their 5 Cents

July 23, 2026

Massive Algae Bloom Discovered Beneath Gordie Howe Bridge

July 22, 2026

Area Couple Enjoys Delicious Meal of Authentic Mennonite Food

July 21, 2026

Unger Games

  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026
  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026
  • Canada Loses to Morocco After Not Getting Enough Pucks to the Net
    July 5, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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