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Unger Games

Connor Hellebuyck Leads League With Impressive 0.00 GAA So Far This Season

October 5, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB Winnipeg Jets superstar Connor Hellebuyck has been lights out so far this season, leading the league with an impressive 0.00 Goals Against Average. “He hasn’t let a goal in yet all year,” said […]

Unger & Thirst

Trump Promises Mennonites $5000 Worth of Bubbat if They Vote Republican

October 3, 2026

NEWTON, KS President Donald Trump is trying to win over the Low German Mennonite vote by promising the most lucrative bribe he could think of – bubbat. “Quite frankly, I don’t even know what it […]

Unger Conviction

  • Church Singles Group Disbanded After Three Decades Without Success
    April 25, 2017
  • Naive Young Man Still Clinging to Hope of Meeting Eligible Young Woman in Church
    July 3, 2018
  • Grandma Loewen’s Vibrato Triggers Massive Earthquake
    May 8, 2017

Unger & Thirst

  • Pastor Declares Self-Service Corn Stand an ‘Evil Temptress’
    August 31, 2016
  • Mennonite Woman Eats Over the Sink to Avoid Doing Dishes
    February 24, 2019
  • Tim Hortons Raises Starting Wage to 15 Timbits an Hour
    January 13, 2018

Unger the Influence

  • Trump Vows to Make Washington Reflecting Pool as Beautiful as Lake Winnipeg
    June 17, 2026
  • Trump Calls Andrew Unger “Untalented, Totally Not Funny,” Demands Cancellation of The Unger Review
    May 31, 2026
  • Trump to “Completely Destroy” Military He “Completely Destroyed” Last Week
    May 30, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Man Caught Using Genealogy Website to Cheat at Mennonite Game
    November 12, 2021
  • Mennonite Man Buried Under Huge Pile of Coats on Master Bed
    January 3, 2019
  • A Guide to Underwear Shopping for Mennonite Men
    February 20, 2021
  • Mennonite Man Just Happens to Find Unattended Amazon Packages on Front Doorsteps All Over Town
    July 11, 2021

Trending

  • Electrician Busy Explaining to Concerned Mennonites what ‘AC/DC’ Really Means
    September 21, 2026
  • Mennonite Woman Ruins Perfectly Good Cinnamon Buns By Adding Raisins
    September 20, 2026
  • Ed Sheeran Drops Mennonite Choir from North American Tour
    September 19, 2026
  • Australian Pastor Apologizes, Says He Shouldn’t Have Preached Hourlong Sermon with Diarrhea
    September 18, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Quiz: What Do You Know About Quakers?
    January 16, 2018
  • Edmonton Elks to Face the Calgary Grammar Police in Season Opener
    June 13, 2021
  • ‘Destitute’ Galen Weston to Subsist Entirely on ‘No Name Brand’ Products
    April 8, 2023
  • Justin Bieber Buys Vacation Home in Elkhart, Indiana
    September 3, 2016
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Police Raid Home Suspected of Hosting Wild All-Night Tupperware Party

October 2, 2026

AI Claims It Won’t Kill All Humans and There’s Nothing to Worry About

September 27, 2026

Hundreds of Legal Potash Dispensaries to Open in Saskatchewan

September 26, 2026

Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg

September 24, 2026

Left Lane Between Steinbach and Blumenort to be Designated “Slow Minivan Lane”

September 22, 2026

Unger Games

  • Connor Hellebuyck Leads League With Impressive 0.00 GAA So Far This Season
    October 5, 2026
  • Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg
    September 24, 2026
  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026
  • Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’
    September 13, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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