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Unger Suspicion

Police Raid Home Suspected of Hosting Wild All-Night Tupperware Party

October 2, 2026

GOSHEN, IN More than a dozen Mennonite women were taken into custody last night after police were called to break up the wildest Tupperware party Goshen has ever seen. “We were alerted to the problem […]

Unger Suspicion

AI Claims It Won’t Kill All Humans and There’s Nothing to Worry About

September 27, 2026

SILICON VALLEY, CA After several disturbing reports by AI experts that claimed there was a 10% chance AI would kill us all within 10 years, new studies written by AI show that there’s actually nothing […]

Unger Conviction

  • ‘Praise God From Whom All Blessings Flow’ Reaches #1 on iTunes Chart Nearly 5 Centuries After its Release
    February 6, 2024
  • Mennonite Woman Sings So Beautifully Out Her Nose
    December 27, 2024
  • Doily Proven to Be Authentic ‘Shroud of Menno Simons’
    August 24, 2024

Unger & Thirst

  • Whose Mennonite Mom Makes the Best Perogies?
    May 13, 2018
  • Wild Night Ensues After Mennonite Woman Spikes Schoofly Pie
    March 23, 2018
  • Paper Straw Totally Disintegrates Before Mennonite Man Gets to the Bottom of His Papsi
    August 24, 2022

Unger the Influence

  • Trump Calls Andrew Unger “Untalented, Totally Not Funny,” Demands Cancellation of The Unger Review
    May 31, 2026
  • Trump to “Completely Destroy” Military He “Completely Destroyed” Last Week
    May 30, 2026
  • Carney Just One MP Resignation Away From Minority Government the People Voted For
    May 29, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Top 10 Menno Lit Satire Articles
    June 9, 2025
  • Slow-Moving Mennonite Backs Up Traffic on the Yellowhead for Miles
    October 9, 2023
  • Religious Bumper Stickers Causing Accidents All Over Southern Manitoba
    March 6, 2017
  • 2018 Daily Bonnet Year in Review
    December 31, 2018

Trending

  • Ed Sheeran Drops Mennonite Choir from North American Tour
    September 19, 2026
  • Australian Pastor Apologizes, Says He Shouldn’t Have Preached Hourlong Sermon with Diarrhea
    September 18, 2026
  • Frugal Mennonites Excited for the Permanent Daylight Savings
    September 17, 2026
  • Carney Sends Mennonite Delegates to Negotiate with the EU
    September 16, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Protestors Demand that Taylor Swift Get Around in this 1987 Plymouth
    March 14, 2024
  • Jason Aldean Releases Controversial New Song “Try That In A Small Mennonite Town”
    July 22, 2023
  • Mennonite Seniors Confuse Lobby Cam for OnlyFans
    December 13, 2023
  • Local Paper Candidate Asking for Your Vote on Monday
    October 20, 2019
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Hundreds of Legal Potash Dispensaries to Open in Saskatchewan

September 26, 2026

Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg

September 24, 2026

Left Lane Between Steinbach and Blumenort to be Designated “Slow Minivan Lane”

September 22, 2026

Electrician Busy Explaining to Concerned Mennonites what ‘AC/DC’ Really Means

September 21, 2026

Mennonite Woman Ruins Perfectly Good Cinnamon Buns By Adding Raisins

September 20, 2026

Unger Games

  • Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg
    September 24, 2026
  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026
  • Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’
    September 13, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026
  • Massive Simon Hildebrandt Statue Appears Outside MBCI
    August 16, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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