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Unger the Influence

Pentagon Introduces New “Firing Squad” Video Game for Kids

October 10, 2026

WASHINGTON, DC Moments after announcing they’d be bringing back public executions, US Secretary of War Pete Hegseth introduced a snazzy new video game to share the experience with kids. “The kids just love video games,” […]

Unger Suspicion

FIFA Awards Donald Trump Nobel Prize for Literature

October 8, 2026

WASHINGTON, DC Moments after Canadian poet Anne Carson was announced as the winner of the 2026 Nobel Prize for Literature, a furious Donald Trump took to social media to announce his displeasure. “They’re out to […]

Unger Conviction

  • Last Church in Town Finally Drops ‘Cumbersome Mennonite Label’
    March 26, 2018
  • Mennonite Couple Names Children After Really Obscure Old Testament Characters
    June 2, 2016
  • Mennonite Child Accepts the Lord in the Womb
    May 20, 2017

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Man Buys a Round of Tap Water for the Whole Bar
    March 11, 2019
  • Manitoba Sends Emergency Supply of Farmer Sausage to Alberta
    September 20, 2021
  • Chips Blamed for Kicker’s Accuracy Problems
    June 7, 2024

Unger the Influence

  • Prince Edward Island Becomes Accidental Target of White House Anti-DEI Campaign
    July 28, 2026
  • Vandals Caddyshack the Reflecting Pool
    June 26, 2026
  • Trump Vows to Make Washington Reflecting Pool as Beautiful as Lake Winnipeg
    June 17, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • What’s the 2023 Low German Word of the Year?
    November 28, 2023
  • Mennonites are Turning their Old Laine Jerseys into Quilts
    January 24, 2021
  • Niverville Eager to Shed Raunchy ‘Bedroom Community’ Image
    December 28, 2017
  • Jantsied Extends Border Closure with Ditsied
    December 17, 2020

Trending

  • AI Claims It Won’t Kill All Humans and There’s Nothing to Worry About
    September 27, 2026
  • Hundreds of Legal Potash Dispensaries to Open in Saskatchewan
    September 26, 2026
  • Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg
    September 24, 2026
  • Left Lane Between Steinbach and Blumenort to be Designated “Slow Minivan Lane”
    September 22, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Kitchener, Ontario to be Renamed Berlin
    December 4, 2019
  • Elon Musk Accused of Interfering in Local Church Board Election
    January 4, 2025
  • New Edition of ‘Martyrs Mirror’ to Feature Duck Dynasty Cast Members
    June 30, 2016
  • World Panics as Every Single Person’s Internet Browsing History is Exposed on Wikileaks
    September 20, 2016
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Massive E-Scooter Outbreak Strikes Southern Manitoba

October 7, 2026

British Columbians Can’t Decide Which Mennonite to Vote For

October 6, 2026

Connor Hellebuyck Leads League With Impressive 0.00 GAA So Far This Season

October 5, 2026

Trump Promises Mennonites $5000 Worth of Bubbat if They Vote Republican

October 3, 2026

Police Raid Home Suspected of Hosting Wild All-Night Tupperware Party

October 2, 2026

Unger Games

  • Connor Hellebuyck Leads League With Impressive 0.00 GAA So Far This Season
    October 5, 2026
  • Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg
    September 24, 2026
  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026
  • Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’
    September 13, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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