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Unger Games

Recently Retired Jonathan Toews Scrambles to Get His Name on the Fernwood Waiting List

June 20, 2026

STEINBACH, MB Days after announcing his retirement from hockey, Winnipeg Jets superstar Jonathan Toews made sure to get his name on the waiting list at Fernwood Place in Steinbach. “You can’t leave it until the […]

Unger Games

Canadians Celebrate as List of ‘Sports We Don’t Suck At’ Balloons to Two

June 18, 2026

VANCOUVER, BV Canadian sports fans were left in absolute ecstasy this afternoon after the Canadian Men’s Soccer Team won a match at the World Cup for the first time in history, thus ballooning the number […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Church Seeks to End Drinking or Driving
    August 18, 2017
  • First Mennonite Church Shall Become Last
    March 11, 2020
  • Mennonite Church Holds Lottery to See Who Can Attend Church this Week
    February 23, 2021

Unger & Thirst

  • Willy Warkentin Offers 5 Golden Tickets to Visit Cheese Factory
    August 6, 2021
  • Mennonite Mafia to Branch into Legal Weed
    July 23, 2017
  • Mennonite Woman’s Glasses are So Foggy She Can’t Even See Who to Judge at the Liquor Store
    September 15, 2020

Unger the Influence

  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026
  • James Comey Indicted Over ‘606 47’ Seashell Photo
    May 3, 2026
  • Hog Farmers Concerned as Manitoba Seeks to Ban AI
    May 2, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Penner Discovered in Reimer Book
    September 8, 2018
  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Mandatory” as “Like Totally Optional, Whatever Man”
    October 31, 2020
  • Man Takes ‘Naked Anabaptist’ Far Too Literally
    June 11, 2017
  • Thousands of Poultry Farmers Accidentally Show Up at ‘National Poetry Month’ Event
    April 10, 2026

Trending

  • Every Self-Respecting Mennonite Cheering for Paraguay in World Cup Opener Friday
    June 11, 2026
  • Ottawa to Ban Social Media for Kids and Replace it with Hinterland Who’s Who
    June 10, 2026
  • Mennonite Man Super Excited to Eat These Noah’s Ark Cookies
    June 9, 2026
  • Mennonite Church to Host UFC Fight
    June 7, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Conservatives Run Actual Donkey in Mennonite Town, Still Confident of Victory
    October 17, 2019
  • Pallister to Live Out the Rest of His Days in Quaint Central American Colony
    September 2, 2021
  • “That’s a personal question”: Area Politician Remains Silent on Science and Logic
    August 2, 2021
  • Queen Victoria to Tour Southeast Manitoba on Monday
    May 21, 2016
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Trump Vows to Make Washington Reflecting Pool as Beautiful as Lake Winnipeg

June 17, 2026

Alberta Man Votes to Stay in Canada After Discovering Honey Dill Sauce

June 15, 2026

Musk Tries Desperately to Squeeze Camel Through Eye of This Needle

June 14, 2026

Mennonite Man with Million-dollar Tractor Stakes a Stand Against “Pride”

June 13, 2026

Conflict-Averse Mennonites Getting Really Into Soccer to Watch All the Ties

June 12, 2026

Unger Games

  • Recently Retired Jonathan Toews Scrambles to Get His Name on the Fernwood Waiting List
    June 20, 2026
  • Canadians Celebrate as List of ‘Sports We Don’t Suck At’ Balloons to Two
    June 18, 2026
  • Conflict-Averse Mennonites Getting Really Into Soccer to Watch All the Ties
    June 12, 2026
  • Every Self-Respecting Mennonite Cheering for Paraguay in World Cup Opener Friday
    June 11, 2026
  • Mennonite Church to Host UFC Fight
    June 7, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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