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Unger & Thirst

City’s Top Chef Mortified to Discover His ‘Charcuterie Board’ is Just Glorified Faspa

October 29, 2026

VANCOUVER, BC The chef at Vancouver’s top restaurant has been feeding the city’s elite for years with his delectable selection of charcuterie. Unfortunately, chef Pierre’s ego took a big hit this weekend after a trip […]

Unger the Influence

Person Under 70 Shocks Community By Voting

October 28, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB Michael Wiebe sent shockwaves across the entire city this afternoon by voting at the fresh young age of just 46 years old. “That’s a little young to be voting if you ask me,” […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Child’s Macaroni Art Purchased by the Louvre
    October 5, 2018
  • Moses Walks Back the Ten Commandments
    November 12, 2020
  • Mennonite Church Sells New ‘What Would Jansen Do’ Bracelets
    April 21, 2019

Unger & Thirst

  • Steinbach Woman Calls Police About Long Line at Krispy Kreme
    June 23, 2024
  • Mennonite Woman Attends Funerals Just for All the Free Food
    September 29, 2019
  • ‘Soup and Pie Fundraiser’ Raises Millions and Millions of Dollars
    February 23, 2020

Unger the Influence

  • Albertans to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Separation
    October 11, 2026
  • Pentagon Introduces New “Firing Squad” Video Game for Kids
    October 10, 2026
  • British Columbians Can’t Decide Which Mennonite to Vote For
    October 6, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • “Mock us, please!” Pennsylvania Mennonites Demand Equal Treatment by the Daily Bonnet
    November 15, 2019
  • Upcoming Hurricanes To Be Given Mennonite Names
    September 6, 2017
  • Area Woman Gets a Brand New Pair of ‘Mennonite High Heels’
    April 17, 2021
  • Mennonite Word Search Puzzle Solution
    June 12, 2018

Trending

  • Mennonite Church’s Annual ‘Costume and Candy Party’ Eerily Similar to Halloween
    October 19, 2026
  • Mennonites Encouraged to Get Out and Vogt
    October 18, 2026
  • Alberta Separatists Hire Mennonites to Show Them How It’s Done
    October 17, 2026
  • Incoherent White House Press Secretary Actually Speaking Low German
    October 16, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Manitobans Shocked to Experience an Actual Fall this Year
    October 22, 2023
  • Metalheads Accidentally Attend Beth Moore Event
    December 3, 2022
  • Falling on Your Ass Only Known Way to Stop While Skating
    February 7, 2018
  • Tourists Shocked by Absence of Bonnets in Southern Manitoba
    September 6, 2016
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Elizabeth Holmes Takes On Trajchtmoaka Job in Winkler

October 26, 2026

Mennonite Beats Mennonite with Votes from Mennonites

October 25, 2026

Winnipeg Mayoral Candidate Accidentally Uses Pictures of Winkler

October 23, 2026

Edmonton Mennonites Big Fans of Mayor Knack-Zoat

October 22, 2026

Roundup Introduces New Product to Eliminate Election Signs in Your Yard

October 21, 2026

Unger Games

  • Connor Hellebuyck Leads League With Impressive 0.00 GAA So Far This Season
    October 5, 2026
  • Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg
    September 24, 2026
  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026
  • Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’
    September 13, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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