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Unger Suspicion

Howard Lutnick Successfully Negotiates Massive $20 Billion Distraction From Epstein Island

August 22, 2026

WASHINGTON, DC Just as negotiations between Canada and the US seemed like they were coming to a close, US Secretary of Commerce Howard Lutnick intervened at the last minute to create a massive $20 billion […]

Unger & Thirst

Canada Agrees To Allow American Booze But Only If It’s All Pappy Van Winkle

August 21, 2026

TORONTO, ON LCBO stores across Ontario were flooded with American booze this afternoon, with a shocking amount of high end bourbon. Apparently, Canadians insisted that if they were going to put American booze back on […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Child Wondering Why We’re Singing All These Songs About Calgary this Time of Year
    April 16, 2022
  • Mennonite Preacher Encourages Young People to ‘Hover Hand’
    August 15, 2018
  • Blessed are the Peacemakers
    November 11, 2016

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Potato Farmer Proclaims Himself “Dyck Tater for Life”
    November 26, 2022
  • Mennonite Grandma Punishes Grandkids By Making Them Chew Thrills Gum
    August 4, 2026
  • Steinbach Finally Legalizes Sundae Shopping
    August 19, 2018

Unger the Influence

  • Trump Really Excited About New $1.8 Billion Slush Fund
    May 20, 2026
  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Stubborn Mennonite Man Refuses to Change Dead Bulb
    March 24, 2018
  • Altona Bride Walks Up the Aisle to Herb Alpert’s “Spanish Flea”
    September 5, 2021
  • Mennonite Woman Passes “Auntie Jen” Test
    April 27, 2022
  • Entire City of Steinbach to Stretch Out Along Highway 12
    August 7, 2017

Trending

  • World’s Sturdiest Ice Maker Lasts a Record Three Days
    August 13, 2026
  • Eclipse Glasses Required to Safely View Sunday’s Worship Service
    August 12, 2026
  • Mennonite Woman Forgets to Put Star Anise in Her Chicken Soup
    August 11, 2026
  • Mennonite Man Buys Back All the Albums He Was Forced to Burn in the 70s
    August 10, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Paul Maurice to Coach Grunthal Red Wings
    December 17, 2021
  • Mennonites React to Arrival of Amish in Manitoba
    November 9, 2017
  • “That’s a personal question”: Area Politician Remains Silent on Science and Logic
    August 2, 2021
  • Battle Erupts in Winkler Over Prince’s Estate
    May 23, 2016
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Mennonite Man Narrowly Escapes Church Service in Catering Truck

August 20, 2026

Carney Asks Provinces to Return Shitty Inferior American Beer to Stores

August 19, 2026

General Conference Strikes Last Minute Deal to Lift Tariffs on Mennonite Brethren

August 17, 2026

Massive Simon Hildebrandt Statue Appears Outside MBCI

August 16, 2026

Thousands of Mennonites Barely Clinging to Life During Nationwide Cottage Cheese Shortage

August 14, 2026

Unger Games

  • Massive Simon Hildebrandt Statue Appears Outside MBCI
    August 16, 2026
  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026
  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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