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Unger Conviction

Mr. Harms Promises He Won’t Hurt Anybody

April 22, 2026

MARTENSVILLE, SK The folks in Martensville were on high alert this week after it was announced that Mr. Harms from Waldheim would be speaking in church next Sunday. “Nah, oba. I don’t like the sound […]

Unger & Thirst

City of Steinbach Issues ‘Boil Schmaunt Fat’ Advisory

April 21, 2026

STEINBACH, MB The City of Steinbach is urging residents to boil their schmaunt fat this afternoon after a private contractor accidentally damaged the pipe that supplies locals with clean fresh white cream gravy. “If it […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Man Wows Audience with Stunning Performance of that Piano Song You Play with Your Knuckles
    March 30, 2018
  • ‘Holy Kiss’ in Mennonite Church Lobby Becomes Total Make-out Session
    January 24, 2019
  • Christian Church Continues Longstanding Christian Tradition of Doing the Opposite of Everything Christ Ever Taught
    March 26, 2024

Unger & Thirst

  • Why Canada is Unlocking Its Vault of Rogers Golden Syrup
    December 2, 2021
  • Anti-Fracking Protestors Shut Down Schmaunt Fat Production
    September 17, 2018
  • Full Grown Man Still Eats Sugary Children’s Cereal
    July 10, 2020

Unger the Influence

  • James Talarico Article Pulled from the Unger Review
    February 19, 2026
  • White House Demands New Bridge Be Rerouted to Epstein Island
    February 11, 2026
  • George Washington Completely “Absolved” in New Epstein Files
    February 1, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Top 50 Most Common Swiss Mennonite Surnames
    October 6, 2017
  • Economical Mennonite Woman’s Been Using the Same Mask Since This Whole Thing Started
    July 26, 2020
  • New Horse-and-Buggy Dealership Opens in ‘Automobile City’
    June 10, 2018
  • Mennonite Rock Fans Celebrate 50 Years of ‘Jantsied of the Moon’
    February 12, 2024

Trending

  • “I thought it was me as a trajchtmoaka,” Trump says
    April 13, 2026
  • Mennonite Man Wears His Very Best Carhartt to Church
    April 12, 2026
  • Americans Demand the Flooding of Saskatchewan and Manitoba to Give their Ships Easier Access to Canadian Oil
    April 11, 2026
  • Thousands of Poultry Farmers Accidentally Show Up at ‘National Poetry Month’ Event
    April 10, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • NASA Confirms the Existence of Mennonites on Other Planets
    November 24, 2016
  • ‘Amazing Race Canada’ Contestants Super Excited to Fly Over Manitoba Yet Again
    August 31, 2022
  • Desperate Winnipeg Jets Recruiting Farm Boys Near Kleefeld
    July 16, 2019
  • Manitoba Government Declares Winter Over as of March 1
    March 3, 2022
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Server Stops By to Ask if Everything’s Tasting Good So Far Just as Area Man Takes Final Bite

April 20, 2026

Doug Ford to Exclusively Travel by Horse and Buggy from Now On

April 19, 2026

Fans Petition Rock and Roll Hall of Fame to Induct Paraguayan Harpist Eduard Klassen

April 18, 2026

Angine de Poitrine Turn Out to be a Couple Mennonite Boys from Winkler

April 15, 2026

Conservatives Form Majority Government

April 14, 2026

Unger Games

  • Taber Arena Will No Longer Be Flooded With Schmaunt Fat After Winning Kraft Hockeyville
    April 5, 2026
  • Peters “Makes It to First Base” Giving Hope to Young Men Across Winkler
    April 4, 2026
  • Jason Kelce Spotted on Manitoba Farm in Full Mennonite Attire
    March 11, 2026
  • American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey
    February 26, 2026
  • Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal
    February 25, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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