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Unger Games

Carney to Melt Down All of Canada’s Unwanted Olympic Medals to Build High Speed Rail Line

February 24, 2026

TORONTO, ON It seems all the embarrassing defeats by Team Canada at the Olympics this year will not go to waste as Prime Minister Mark Carney has announced a plan to use all the unwanted […]

Unger Games

Connor Hellebuyck Reassures Jets Fans He Won’t Ever Play That Well Again

February 23, 2026

MILAN, ITALY Just minutes after Team USA goaltender Connor Hellebuyck single-handedly won an Olympic gold for his team, he sent a message to reassure Winnipeg Jets fans he won’t ever play that well again. “Certainly […]

Unger Conviction

  • Pastor Insists on Preaching Exclusively from The Authorized Kevin James Version Bible
    July 17, 2018
  • Mennonite Church Uses Potato Sack Race to Determine New Pastor
    August 29, 2018
  • Mennonite Church to Host UFC
    October 6, 2025

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonites Worried Bill Gates is Microchipping the Schmaunt Fat
    May 15, 2020
  • “But I Didn’t Inhale”: Mennonite Politician Confesses to Consuming Borscht
    February 11, 2019
  • Mennonite Man Leaves Church Early to “Check on the Smoker”
    July 18, 2021

Unger the Influence

  • Andrew Unger Gifted Secondhand Nobel Prize for Literature
    January 21, 2026
  • American Soldiers Accidentally Invade Greenland Road
    January 17, 2026
  • Ottawa Disappointed with Gun Buyback Program in Mennonite Country
    January 11, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Friesen Girls Have Got Those Old ‘Back to Home School’ Blues
    August 28, 2022
  • Steinbach City Council Candidate Reveals Shocking DNA Test Results
    October 23, 2018
  • A Quick Break From Our Regular Satirical Programming
    March 2, 2022
  • ‘Eaton’s Emm Kjalla’ to Re-open Under Bell MTS Place
    September 21, 2018

Trending

  • I Searched the Epstein Files for Mennonite Content – This is What I Found
    February 16, 2026
  • France Humiliates Canada By Losing Only By a Score of 10-2
    February 15, 2026
  • Plane Takes Couple to La Crete, Alberta Instead of Greek Island
    February 14, 2026
  • Mennonite Couple Celebrate Valentine’s Day By Ordering the Cheapest Thing on the Menu
    February 13, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Steinbach Residents Excited for Opening of New Petting Zoo on Main Street
    May 6, 2018
  • Bargain-Hungry Mennonites Fill Arena for 50 Cent Concert
    September 13, 2023
  • Balenciaga Releases New $2000 Shit-Covered Mennonite Rubber Boots
    May 20, 2024
  • Airline Strives to Make Travel as Uncomfortable as Humanly Possible
    June 4, 2025
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Massive Stockpile of Silver Medals Discovered at Local Thrift Store

February 22, 2026

Abbotsford Man Has No Excuse to Miss Church Tomorrow Since He’ll Be Up at 5 AM Anyway Watching Hockey

February 21, 2026

James Talarico Article Pulled from the Unger Review

February 19, 2026

Canadian Curler Accused of “Knipsing” Stone

February 18, 2026

Manitoba Issues Province-wide “Yellow Snow” Warning

February 17, 2026

Unger Games

  • Carney to Melt Down All of Canada’s Unwanted Olympic Medals to Build High Speed Rail Line
    February 24, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Reassures Jets Fans He Won’t Ever Play That Well Again
    February 23, 2026
  • Massive Stockpile of Silver Medals Discovered at Local Thrift Store
    February 22, 2026
  • Abbotsford Man Has No Excuse to Miss Church Tomorrow Since He’ll Be Up at 5 AM Anyway Watching Hockey
    February 21, 2026
  • Canadian Curler Accused of “Knipsing” Stone
    February 18, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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