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Unger Suspicion

Prime Minister, Bryan Adams Share Roll Kuchen in Altona

September 5, 2026

ALTONA, MB Prime Minister Mark Carney and singer songwriter Bryan Adams were spotted wolfing down roll kuchen and rabus at the annual Altona Mennonite church picnic this weekend. “I mean he’s no Justin Trudeau, but […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Man Takes 5 Hours to Pass Semi

September 3, 2026

MOOSOMIN, SK Area man Bob Sawatzky took just 5 hours to pass a semi on the highway this week, the fastest time ever recorded by a Mennonite. “I figured he was going 100,” said Bob, […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Church Under Fire After Releasing Heavily Redacted Church Bulletin
    December 22, 2025
  • Mennonite Church Celebrates 150 Years of Passive Aggressive Behaviour
    July 3, 2021
  • Hip New Church Bulletin Goes All Comic Sans
    April 9, 2017

Unger & Thirst

  • New Steinbach Craft Brewer Forced By Law to Make Root Beer
    August 6, 2016
  • Mennonite Family Feeds Hungry Puppies at Local Buffet
    April 29, 2017
  • Rhubarb Sauce Discovered on Mennonite Man’s Perogies
    April 22, 2022

Unger the Influence

  • Carney Just One MP Resignation Away From Minority Government the People Voted For
    May 29, 2026
  • Carney to Raze 72 Million Acres of Old Growth Forest to Make Copies of Guilbeault’s Resignation Letter
    May 27, 2026
  • Trump Really Excited About New $1.8 Billion Slush Fund
    May 20, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Woman Takes Three Hours Between Scrabble Moves
    March 6, 2020
  • Word Bird Gives Fred Penner Plautdietsch Word
    January 15, 2026
  • “I am Mennonite,” Borat Reveals in New Film
    October 27, 2020
  • Mennonite Man Desperately Hoping He Can Make it to Deacons Corner
    July 20, 2024

Trending

  • Toddler Demands Lake Ontario Be Renamed Lake Poopy Pants
    August 27, 2026
  • Trump To Relocate Mines From Strait of Hormuz To Lake Ontario
    August 26, 2026
  • Trump Threatens to Rename Lake Winnipeg if Wab Kinew Doesn’t Stop Saying Mean Things About Him
    August 25, 2026
  • Mennonites Demand Low German on Cereal Boxes
    August 24, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Brave Kangaroo Carries Mennonite Tourists to Safety
    July 19, 2017
  • Spring Arrives in Manitoba
    March 31, 2026
  • Mennonite College Students Crash ChatGPT by Requesting Too Many Hauerwas Essays All at Once
    February 7, 2023
  • Mennonites Shun Patrik Laine For Shaving Off His Beard
    May 28, 2018
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Mennonite Woman in Existential Crisis at Grocery Store

September 2, 2026

Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights

September 1, 2026

Mennonite Man Introduces Japanese A5 Wagyu Jreewe

August 30, 2026

Winkler Attempts to Rename Morden

August 29, 2026

Mennonite Child Suspended for Speaking Low German at Recess

August 28, 2026

Unger Games

  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026
  • Massive Simon Hildebrandt Statue Appears Outside MBCI
    August 16, 2026
  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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