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Unger Suspicion

Winnipeg Man Absolutely Exhausted Due to Lack of Time Change

November 3, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB Area plumber Dave Warkentin woke up really tired this morning due to the lack of time change. “Ugh, it’s that time of year again where we don’t change the clocks,” said Warkentin. “I […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winkler to Set Clocks One Hour Ahead of Morden

November 1, 2026

WINKLER, MB When the Province announced that Manitobans would no longer be participating in the time change, the City of Winkler pounced on the opportunity to distinguish itself from neighbouring Morden. “We’re establishing a Winkler […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Man Can’t Figure Out What to Give Up for Lent Since Everything Fun is Already Forbidden
    March 8, 2019
  • How to Choose Your New Colony Name: A Guide for Hutterites
    August 18, 2023
  • Mennonite Pastor Scores with 1.6 Seconds Left Sending Sermon into Double Overtime
    May 5, 2025

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Family to Survive on Last Sunday’s Leftovers for the Next Two Years
    October 14, 2018
  • Strangers on Russlaender Train Agree to Swap Recipes
    July 12, 2023
  • McDonalds Takes McRib Off the Menu Just Long Enough for People to Forget How Terrible It Is
    March 6, 2024

Unger the Influence

  • Albertans to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Separation
    October 11, 2026
  • Pentagon Introduces New “Firing Squad” Video Game for Kids
    October 10, 2026
  • British Columbians Can’t Decide Which Mennonite to Vote For
    October 6, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Renowned Mennonite Writer Honoured to Have His Photo Above the Washrooms at McNally Robinson
    July 31, 2020
  • Discover Your Mennonite Nickname
    October 10, 2017
  • New Census Data Identifies ‘English mixed with Plautdietsch and a bit of regular German mixed in yet’ as Most Popular Language in Winkler
    September 7, 2022
  • Mennonite Man Begrudgingly Signs Up for Sportsnet So He Can Watch the Jets Game
    April 10, 2019

Trending

  • Mennonite Beats Mennonite with Votes from Mennonites
    October 25, 2026
  • Winnipeg Mayoral Candidate Accidentally Uses Pictures of Winkler
    October 23, 2026
  • Edmonton Mennonites Big Fans of Mayor Knack-Zoat
    October 22, 2026
  • Roundup Introduces New Product to Eliminate Election Signs in Your Yard
    October 21, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Jets Change Time of December 5 Game to Accommodate Faspa
    October 27, 2021
  • Alberta Man Deported for Failing to Drive an F150
    August 4, 2021
  • Toronto Reaches Trade Deal with St. Louis to Swap Trophies
    June 14, 2019
  • Area Man Has No Idea His AI-Generated Poster is a Total Shit Show
    July 2, 2026
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Winnipeg Couple Dress as Country’s Scariest Creature: Canada Geese

October 31, 2026

Mennonite Couple Make Sure to Eat at Home Before Jets Game

October 30, 2026

City’s Top Chef Mortified to Discover His ‘Charcuterie Board’ is Just Glorified Faspa

October 29, 2026

Person Under 70 Shocks Community By Voting

October 28, 2026

Elizabeth Holmes Takes On Trajchtmoaka Job in Winkler

October 26, 2026

Unger Games

  • Mennonite Couple Make Sure to Eat at Home Before Jets Game
    October 30, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Leads League With Impressive 0.00 GAA So Far This Season
    October 5, 2026
  • Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg
    September 24, 2026
  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026
  • Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’
    September 13, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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