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Unger the Influence

Trump Praises Mennonite Man’s “Good Plautdietsch”

July 12, 2025

CAMPO 69, MEXICO After a trip to Chihuahua this past week to negotiate a trade deal for Takis and Peter Wall’s delicious disco, US President Donald Trump praised local man Guillermo Kehler for his “good […]

Unger the Influence

Alberta Introduces New “School-Appropriate” Bibles Without ‘Song of Solomon’

July 11, 2025

EDMONTON, AB In an effort to “balance religious freedoms with the need to protect our children,” the Alberta Ministry of Edumacation has decided to churn out snazzy new Bibles that exclude anything that might be […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Church to Host First Annual ‘Quiet in the Land’ Death Metal Festival
    January 15, 2020
  • Wealthy Mennonites Bribe Their Way Into All the Best Sunday Schools
    March 15, 2019
  • Local Church Adds Cake-Baking to List of Holy Sacraments
    June 6, 2018

Unger & Thirst

  • A Modest Proposal for the Elimination of Faspa
    March 11, 2018
  • World’s Most Daring Mennonite Man Tries the Mild Spice
    March 25, 2023
  • Mennonite Hunter Bags Huge Sausage
    November 21, 2017

Unger the Influence

  • Trump to Reopen Alcatraz to Imprison Canadians
    June 5, 2025
  • Mennonite Woman Mentors Mark Carney on How to Bite His Tongue
    May 7, 2025
  • Area Man Can’t Figure Out Whether All the People Who Voted Differently than Him are Evil or Stupid
    April 29, 2025

The Daily Bonnet

  • The Official Correct Spelling of Every Mennonite Surname
    March 4, 2018
  • Chris Goertzen and Kelvin Goertzen Still Insist They’re Not Brothers
    May 26, 2016
  • MrBeast Offers Contestants $606,000 to Live Like a Mennonite for One Week
    June 27, 2023
  • Formula 1 Circuit Expands to Steinbach
    May 19, 2016

Trending

  • Steinbachers Line Up on Main Street to Watch Drag Show
    July 5, 2025
  • Mennonite Man Finally Upgrades His Massey Harris
    July 4, 2025
  • Mennonite Woman Has Already Planted 25% of a Simon and Garfunkel Song
    July 3, 2025
  • Dill Harvest Early this Year
    July 2, 2025

Unger Suspicion

  • Area Man Elected President of Ecuador
    May 24, 2016
  • City of Winnipeg Seeks to Modernize Rapid Transit System
    March 26, 2023
  • CFL Adds New ‘Mennonite Player Ratio’
    June 22, 2019
  • Angry Americans Protest Wildfire Smoke that’s “Illegally” Crossing into the US from Canada
    June 16, 2023
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TSA Will No Longer Require Mennonites to Remove Socks and Sandals

July 10, 2025

Epstein Files Discovered at Local Thrift Store

July 9, 2025

Mennonite Woman “Wins the Lottery” After Neighbour’s Clothes Blow into Her Yard

July 8, 2025

North Kildonan Residents Unimpressed with New Winnipeg Transit Network

July 7, 2025

Mennonites Unveil New Mascot

July 6, 2025

Unger Games

  • Stanley Cup Playoffs to be Extended Well into July Next Year
    June 30, 2025
  • Portage and Main Pedestrians Fuel Rumours Jets Won the Cup
    June 28, 2025
  • Steinbacher Shocked at Lack of Honda Civics in New F1 Movie
    June 25, 2025
  • Vanapag Jats Jerseys Flying Off the Shelves
    June 21, 2025
  • Jonathan Toews Signs with Only Team that Knows How to Pronounce His Last Name Correctly
    June 20, 2025

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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