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Unger Suspicion

Trump Threatens to Rename Lake Winnipeg if Wab Kinew Doesn’t Stop Saying Mean Things About Him

August 25, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB It seems US President Donald Trump has resorted to the most powerful weapon in his playbook -renaming bodies of water. “Starting tomorrow I am ordering all school children to scribble out the name […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Demand Low German on Cereal Boxes

August 24, 2026

AYLMER, ON Sick and tired to accidentally buying puffed wheat when what they wanted was Froot Loops, Mennonites in Canada are demanding that Low German be added to cereal boxes across the country. “Plus, it’ll […]

Unger Conviction

  • I Did Not Come to Bring Peace, But a Sword
    November 11, 2016
  • Mennonite Couple Waits All Service to Finally Hear “You May Be Seated”
    February 8, 2022
  • Pastor’s Wife Offers Makeup Lessons
    November 19, 2017

Unger & Thirst

  • Meet the Woman Behind the Pistachio Pudding Shortage
    October 9, 2016
  • Lottery Winner Given Rare Box of Christmas Oranges That Aren’t Stale or Rotten
    December 26, 2025
  • Even Borscht is No Longer ‘Cheap as Borscht’ After Surge in Cabbage Prices
    February 19, 2020

Unger the Influence

  • Carney to Raze 72 Million Acres of Old Growth Forest to Make Copies of Guilbeault’s Resignation Letter
    May 27, 2026
  • Trump Really Excited About New $1.8 Billion Slush Fund
    May 20, 2026
  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • ‘Hatchimal’ Shortage Doesn’t Faze Resourceful Mennonite Mom
    December 11, 2016
  • B.C. Relatives are Really Proud of Their Inability to Survive Harsh Manitoba Winters
    December 6, 2016
  • Steinbach Man Opens ‘Noah’s Ark Encounter’ in His Basement
    September 17, 2024
  • Mennonites Flock to Reopened MCC Store to Buy Bigger Pants
    June 12, 2020

Trending

  • General Conference Strikes Last Minute Deal to Lift Tariffs on Mennonite Brethren
    August 17, 2026
  • Massive Simon Hildebrandt Statue Appears Outside MBCI
    August 16, 2026
  • Thousands of Mennonites Barely Clinging to Life During Nationwide Cottage Cheese Shortage
    August 14, 2026
  • World’s Sturdiest Ice Maker Lasts a Record Three Days
    August 13, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Gary Bettman Attempts to Move the Steinbach Pistons to Arizona
    October 3, 2016
  • Voters Head to the Polls to Select the 45th Lesser Evil of the United States
    November 8, 2016
  • ‘O Canada’ to Be Replaced with Crash Test Dummies Lyrics
    February 4, 2018
  • Devout American Christians Gather to Enthusiastically Worship False Idol Today
    July 4, 2020
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Mennonite Man Gifts Wife Wrong Kind Of Dutch Oven

August 23, 2026

Howard Lutnick Successfully Negotiates Massive $20 Billion Distraction From Epstein Island

August 22, 2026

Canada Agrees To Allow American Booze But Only If It’s All Pappy Van Winkle

August 21, 2026

Mennonite Man Narrowly Escapes Church Service in Catering Truck

August 20, 2026

Carney Asks Provinces to Return Shitty Inferior American Beer to Stores

August 19, 2026

Unger Games

  • Massive Simon Hildebrandt Statue Appears Outside MBCI
    August 16, 2026
  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026
  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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