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Unger Suspicion

Surprises Abound on Taylor and Travis’s Guest List

July 4, 2026

NEW YORK, NY There were plenty of surprises on the star-studded guest list at Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce’s wedding this week, including Dakota Johnson, Gigi Hadid, and several members of the local Amish community. […]

Unger Suspicion

Area Man Spends 10 Hours Trying to Figure Out Hotel Shower Controls

July 3, 2026

MONTREAL, QC Area man Collin Penner has been in Montreal for the jazz fest since Saturday, but has spent the entire time just figuring out how to get the hot water going in his hotel […]

Unger Conviction

  • All Mennonites Are Exactly the Same
    October 8, 2021
  • $10 Billion Business Deal Inked in Mennonite Church Lobby
    October 9, 2019
  • ‘Presumptuous’ Mennonite Man Brings His Own Bible to Church
    December 8, 2016

Unger & Thirst

  • Paper Straw Totally Disintegrates Before Mennonite Man Gets to the Bottom of His Papsi
    August 24, 2022
  • Mennonite Woman Has So Much Extra Rhubarb She Just Doesn’t Know What to Do with it All
    July 1, 2020
  • Mennonite Man Charged with Distracted Driving for Knacking Zoat Behind the Wheel
    April 6, 2018

Unger the Influence

  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026
  • James Comey Indicted Over ‘606 47’ Seashell Photo
    May 3, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Couple to Replace Harry and Meghan at Buckingham Palace
    January 13, 2020
  • Mennonite Man Spends All Day at Hardware Store Trying to Find the Wood Stretcher
    August 25, 2023
  • Americans Furious About All-Plautdietsch Halftime Show
    February 10, 2026
  • Winnipeg Man Blames the Refs for Every Single Problem in His Life
    April 22, 2019

Trending

  • Winnipeg Jets Select Björk in First Round
    June 27, 2026
  • Mennonite Man Fakes Injury to Avoid Church this Morning
    June 27, 2026
  • Vandals Caddyshack the Reflecting Pool
    June 26, 2026
  • 300-Foot Gash Appears in MB Church Baptismal Tank
    June 25, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Mennonite Choir to Perform at Next Year’s Super Bowl
    February 4, 2019
  • Unger Review Gets Amazing Bargain on Stephen Colbert Contract
    July 22, 2025
  • Bitcoin Adopts Catchy New Slogan
    May 17, 2022
  • After 20 Years in Calgary, Manitoba Man Still Hasn’t Skied
    December 16, 2017
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Area Man Has No Idea His AI-Generated Poster is a Total Shit Show

July 2, 2026

Canadians Accidentally Set Off Fireworks 3 Days Early

July 1, 2026

Paraguay Defeats Germany Thanks to the Prayers of 100,000 Mennonites

June 30, 2026

Taco Bell Unveils New Logo

June 29, 2026

Leamington Residents Celebrate Canada’s World Cup Victory with Giant Ketchup-Covered Vereniki

June 28, 2026

Unger Games

  • Paraguay Defeats Germany Thanks to the Prayers of 100,000 Mennonites
    June 30, 2026
  • Leamington Residents Celebrate Canada’s World Cup Victory with Giant Ketchup-Covered Vereniki
    June 28, 2026
  • Winnipeg Jets Select Björk in First Round
    June 27, 2026
  • Recently Retired Jonathan Toews Scrambles to Get His Name on the Fernwood Waiting List
    June 20, 2026
  • Canadians Celebrate as List of ‘Sports We Don’t Suck At’ Balloons to Two
    June 18, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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