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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Finishes the Internet

August 15, 2026
Unger & Thirst

Thousands of Mennonites Barely Clinging to Life During Nationwide Cottage Cheese Shortage

August 14, 2026

SASKATOON, SK Thousands of Mennonites are barely surviving this summer after a shortage of cottage cheese has left them without the necessary sustenance for life. “My Henry’s a fighter, but I’m just not sure how […]

Unger Conviction

  • Churches to Install VLTs as Part of Alberta’s Phase 2 Reopening Plan
    June 16, 2020
  • Mennonite Woman to Become ‘Unequally Yoked’ With Lutheran Man
    February 15, 2017
  • Four-Part Harmony Slashed to Three After Recent Budget Cuts
    October 25, 2017

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Man Excommunicated After Washing Grandma’s Cast-Iron Skillet
    September 8, 2020
  • Mennonite Man Woos Potential Spouse by Eating Takis Fuego
    February 14, 2024
  • ‘Hawk Tuah Girl’ Launches Her Own Brand of Knackzoat
    August 12, 2024

Unger the Influence

  • Trump Really Excited About New $1.8 Billion Slush Fund
    May 20, 2026
  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Lucky Mennonite Man Has Meddachschlop on a Wednesday
    November 19, 2021
  • Lobby Group Promotes “Abstinence Only” Dance Education
    August 18, 2016
  • 8 Women Show Up to Claim Prize After Mary Unrau’s Name Called in Raffle Draw
    August 2, 2026
  • Russian Mennonite-linked Facebook Memes Revealed!
    November 4, 2017

Trending

  • Mennonites Fill Copper Wire Shortage By Stretching Pennies
    August 8, 2026
  • Steinbach Unveils New Public Transit System
    August 5, 2026
  • Mennonite Grandma Punishes Grandkids By Making Them Chew Thrills Gum
    August 4, 2026
  • Rhubarb Discovered on Mennonite Woman’s Vereniki
    August 3, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • New Improved Horse Gets Up to 60 Miles Per Carrot
    September 7, 2018
  • Two Canadians Bump Into Each Other, Both Say “I’m Sorry”
    November 25, 2022
  • Justin Trudeau Among 313 Canadians Banned from “Going Anywhere Near Alberta”
    March 18, 2022
  • Mennonite Man Sent To Unclog Space Toilet
    April 7, 2026
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World’s Sturdiest Ice Maker Lasts a Record Three Days

August 13, 2026

Eclipse Glasses Required to Safely View Sunday’s Worship Service

August 12, 2026

Mennonite Woman Forgets to Put Star Anise in Her Chicken Soup

August 11, 2026

Mennonite Man Buys Back All the Albums He Was Forced to Burn in the 70s

August 10, 2026

Reitmans Introduces New ‘Angine de Poitrine’ Line

August 9, 2026

Unger Games

  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026
  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026
  • Canada Loses to Morocco After Not Getting Enough Pucks to the Net
    July 5, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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