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Unger Suspicion

90-Year-Old Grandma Emerges Victorious in Senior Assassin 2026

May 12, 2026

ALTONA, MB Mrs. Dorothy Wiebe of Altona was the last senior in town not to get sprayed with a water gun this week and has been crowned winner of Senior Assassin 2026. “I knew they […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Sets Record for Tallest Bowl at Mongo’s Grill

May 10, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB Klaas Siemens of Rosenort was in the city this week and decided to stop at his favourite restaurant Mongo’s Grill, where he set a new record for successfully piling the most ingredients into […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Pastor Shortens Sermons to 90 Minutes for the Summer Months
    April 22, 2021
  • Christian Church Suddenly Realizes They’ve Been Singing Songs By Heretics For Decades
    October 17, 2020
  • Mennonite Woman Accidentally Reads Men’s Study Bible
    September 24, 2022

Unger & Thirst

  • Congregation Votes to Continue Serving Raisin Buns at Funerals
    October 22, 2016
  • Local Woman Burns Hole In Her Tongue Eating Cinnamon Hearts
    February 14, 2019
  • Tim Hortons Raises Starting Wage to 15 Timbits an Hour
    January 13, 2018

Unger the Influence

  • Mennonites Hired to Drain the Strait of Hormuz
    March 17, 2026
  • Conservatives Vote to Reaffirm Party Leader Mark Carney
    March 6, 2026
  • Funk and Penner Endorse Penner for Goertzen’s Job Reports Peters from Reimer
    March 1, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Top Ten Dangers of Living in a Mennonite Town
    November 7, 2018
  • Jant Sied Story Takes Home Top Prize at Mennonite Oscars
    April 8, 2022
  • Mennonite Man Works His Usual 18 Hours on Labour Day
    September 5, 2016
  • Intercourse, Pennsylvania to be Renamed Abstinence, Pennsylvania
    February 20, 2020

Trending

  • Mennonite Man Finally Takes Off His Winter Tires
    May 4, 2026
  • James Comey Indicted Over ‘606 47’ Seashell Photo
    May 3, 2026
  • Hog Farmers Concerned as Manitoba Seeks to Ban AI
    May 2, 2026
  • Mennonite Woman’s Algorithm Nothing But Vereniki
    May 1, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Nickelback Frontman Insists He’s Really a Kroeker
    September 27, 2022
  • Putin “Too Busy Shirtless Hunting” to Attend Gorbachev’s Funeral
    September 1, 2022
  • Manitoba Government Rebrands Spring Break as ‘Winter Break Part 2’
    March 25, 2022
  • WestJet Accidentally Announces New Direct Flights from Winnipeg to Altona
    May 13, 2023
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Nationwide Cottage Cheese Shortage Causes Mennonites to Compromise Cherished Values for First Time Ever

May 9, 2026

Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”

May 8, 2026

Mennonite Man Doesn’t Have Enough Space on Census Form to List All His Kids

May 7, 2026

Tariffs Move Leafs’ Pick from First to Sixty-Seventh

May 6, 2026

Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor

May 5, 2026

Unger Games

  • Tariffs Move Leafs’ Pick from First to Sixty-Seventh
    May 6, 2026
  • Taber Arena Will No Longer Be Flooded With Schmaunt Fat After Winning Kraft Hockeyville
    April 5, 2026
  • Peters “Makes It to First Base” Giving Hope to Young Men Across Winkler
    April 4, 2026
  • Jason Kelce Spotted on Manitoba Farm in Full Mennonite Attire
    March 11, 2026
  • American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey
    February 26, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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