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Unger the Influence

Roundup Introduces New Product to Eliminate Election Signs in Your Yard

October 21, 2026

MITCHELL, MB Pesticide manufacture Roundup has just announced a new product specifically designed to get rid of those pesky election signs in your yard. “We’re really excited to bring this new product to the market,” […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church’s Annual ‘Costume and Candy Party’ Eerily Similar to Halloween

October 19, 2026

STEINBACH, MB The local MBGC church invites everyone to dress up like their favourite movie character and come sit around drinking Papsi and eating candy in the church basement this evening. “We’ll be decorating everything […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Church Buys Out Last Year of Pastor’s $40,000 Contract
    June 30, 2023
  • Introducing the All New Mennonite Enneagram!
    April 9, 2019
  • Wealthy Mennonites Bribe Their Way Into All the Best Sunday Schools
    March 15, 2019

Unger & Thirst

  • Romantic Gesture Turns into Quite the Quandary for Mennonite Woman
    March 8, 2021
  • Vacant Safeway Store to Become One Massive Tim Hortons
    August 8, 2016
  • Liquor Store Undergoes Expansion; Now the Largest Church in Town
    March 10, 2018

Unger the Influence

  • Wab Kinew Returns to Steinbach to Mow the Boulevards
    September 14, 2026
  • Premier Wab Kinew Finally Visits Steinbach Just as Every Local Politician is Mysteriously Out of Town
    September 12, 2026
  • Toddler Demands Lake Ontario Be Renamed Lake Poopy Pants
    August 27, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Supersite Workers Promise Not to Comment on Your Farmer’s Tan
    June 26, 2021
  • Where did you meet your Mennonite spouse?
    August 27, 2019
  • Steinbach Celebrates 150 Sinless Years
    October 17, 2024
  • Mennonite Man Spends Two Hours Selecting Least Awkward Urinal
    July 6, 2022

Trending

  • Mennonite Woman Arrested for Buying Her Pumpkin Pie at Costco
    October 12, 2026
  • Albertans to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Separation
    October 11, 2026
  • Pentagon Introduces New “Firing Squad” Video Game for Kids
    October 10, 2026
  • FIFA Awards Donald Trump Nobel Prize for Literature
    October 8, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • New Card Game ‘German Blitz’ Fails to Catch On
    November 30, 2022
  • Car Manages to Stay Clean for a Record Two Minutes After Leaving Car Wash
    March 15, 2024
  • Sports Team Sports Their Way to Sportsing Thinger
    February 13, 2022
  • Mennonite Cover Band Plays Classic Stones Tune ‘I Know It’s Only Rock and Roll (But I Don’t Like It)’
    July 31, 2021
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Mennonites Encouraged to Get Out and Vogt

October 18, 2026

Alberta Separatists Hire Mennonites to Show Them How It’s Done

October 17, 2026

Incoherent White House Press Secretary Actually Speaking Low German

October 16, 2026

American School Bans ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’ For Being Canadian

October 14, 2026

White House Reinstates Day to Honour Guy Who Directed ‘Home Alone’

October 13, 2026

Unger Games

  • Connor Hellebuyck Leads League With Impressive 0.00 GAA So Far This Season
    October 5, 2026
  • Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg
    September 24, 2026
  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026
  • Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’
    September 13, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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