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The Daily Bonnet

Winnipeg’s Population Surpasses 850,000 Friesens

January 20, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB According to a recent Statistics Canada estimate, the City of Winnipeg now has a population of just over 850,000 Friesens. “And growing,” said mayor Scott Gillingham, one of just three individuals in the […]

Unger Games

Winnipeg Jets Sign Mennonite Senior to Bring Some Youth to the Team

January 19, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB The Winnipeg Jets have signed Mr. Plett, 84, of Bethlehem Place to bring some much needed youth and agility to their aging lineup. “I lot of people can’t figure out what’s gone wrong […]

Unger Conviction

  • Church to Remove Reclining Seats for Poorer Parishioners
    October 1, 2025
  • Mennonite Church Introduces New See-Through Coffee
    February 18, 2024
  • Mennonite Boy Takes Girl to Church on First Date
    November 22, 2021

Unger & Thirst

  • Conservative Mennonite Church Approves Drinking Bud Light ‘Since it’s Not Really Beer Anyway’
    January 6, 2018
  • Chinese Food Officially Mennonite’s Second Favourite
    December 12, 2016
  • Shutdown of Pipeline Affects Delivery of Schmaunt Fat Between Gretna and Winnipeg
    May 28, 2024

Unger the Influence

  • Carney Called Out for Utilizing ‘Plaudietsch’ Spelling
    December 17, 2025
  • Liberals Just One Mennonite MP Away from Majority Government
    December 15, 2025
  • Foreign Visitors Scramble to Erase ‘Unger Review’ from Phone Before Entering the US
    December 12, 2025

The Daily Bonnet

  • Evolutionist Proves Mennonites are Descended from Abes
    July 21, 2018
  • Mennonites Go Crazy for New Cryptocurrency the ‘Plettcoin’
    December 27, 2017
  • Winkler-Steinbach Rivalry to Be Settled With Winner-Take-All Dutch Blitz Tournament
    February 20, 2019
  • Mennonite Woman Arrested for Stealing Her Neighbour’s Ham
    November 25, 2019

Trending

  • Steinbach Mayor Wins Grand Slam of Butchering
    January 12, 2026
  • Ottawa Disappointed with Gun Buyback Program in Mennonite Country
    January 11, 2026
  • Hutterite Women’s Hockey Team Totally Destroys Slumping Winnipeg Jets
    January 9, 2026
  • Mennonites Really Disappointed with Philip Yantsied
    January 9, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Green Party Photoshops Yerba Mate into Elizabeth May’s Hand
    October 7, 2019
  • Sparse Crowd at Nickelback Concert, Mostly Just Mennonites
    September 21, 2017
  • School Accidentally Plays Sex Pistols Song Before Morning Announcements
    June 19, 2025
  • World Panics as Every Single Person’s Internet Browsing History is Exposed on Wikileaks
    September 20, 2016
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Mennonite Woman Delighted to Receive Gently Used Nobel Peace Prize

January 18, 2026

New Season of ‘Heated Rivalry’ to Feature Manitoba’s Top Crokinole Players

January 17, 2026

American Soldiers Accidentally Invade Greenland Road

January 17, 2026

Word Bird Gives Fred Penner Plautdietsch Word

January 15, 2026

Winnipegers Rush to Get their Hands on the Cheapest Nosebleed Seats

January 13, 2026

Unger Games

  • Winnipeg Jets Sign Mennonite Senior to Bring Some Youth to the Team
    January 19, 2026
  • New Season of ‘Heated Rivalry’ to Feature Manitoba’s Top Crokinole Players
    January 17, 2026
  • Steinbach Mayor Wins Grand Slam of Butchering
    January 12, 2026
  • Hutterite Women’s Hockey Team Totally Destroys Slumping Winnipeg Jets
    January 9, 2026
  • Mennonites Excited for Grand Slam of Curling in Steinbach
    January 3, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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