The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger
Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Buys Round of Tap Water for the Whole Bar

November 15, 2026

LANCASTER, PA Allan Hostetler, 29, of Lancaster was feeling particularly generous at the bar last night and decided he’d order a round of tap water for the entire bar. “There were about thirty or forty […]

Unger & Thirst

Planes Grounded Nationwide After Mennonite Woman Attempts to Carry On Suitcase Full of Farmer Sausage

November 14, 2026

FREEMAN, SD Mrs. Deirdre Giesbrecht was hauled aside by airport security this afternoon after attempting to board the plane with farmer sausage in her carry-on luggage. “Oba nay! Waut de schissjat!” declared Mrs. Giesbrecht, who […]

Unger Conviction

  • Local Kleine Gemeinde Not So Kleine After Massive Expansion
    February 16, 2017
  • Bible College Sells Record Number of Engagement Rings on Student Orientation Day
    August 28, 2024
  • Mennonite Man Brings Pet Alligator to Church
    October 13, 2023

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Man Blows Entire Co-op Dividend Cheque on Chicken Chef Feast
    June 4, 2020
  • Mennonite Couple Spends Romantic Evening at Applebee’s
    October 6, 2021
  • Local Church to Host Weekly ‘Superspreader Potluck’
    October 16, 2020

Unger the Influence

  • White House Reinstates Day to Honour Guy Who Directed ‘Home Alone’
    October 13, 2026
  • Albertans to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Separation
    October 11, 2026
  • Pentagon Introduces New “Firing Squad” Video Game for Kids
    October 10, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • New Regulations Force Female Crokinole Players to Wear Short Skirts
    May 4, 2017
  • Mennonite Man Translates Low German Joke for Englishers, No One Laughs
    March 26, 2019
  • Winkler Man Caught Walking Around Morden in a Speedo
    December 8, 2020
  • Holem de gruel, Armin Wiebe’s website is entertaining yet!
    August 5, 2018

Trending

  • Mennonite Man Takes 28 Years to Walk from Winkler to Morden
    November 5, 2026
  • Historic Comeback Gives Winnipeg Jets Control of House and Senate
    November 4, 2026
  • Winnipeg Man Absolutely Exhausted Due to Lack of Time Change
    November 3, 2026
  • Winkler to Set Clocks One Hour Ahead of Morden
    November 1, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Mormon Missionaries Find Mennonite Town ‘Totally Confusing’
    June 20, 2017
  • Mennonites Unimpressed With Ken Ham’s Replica Ark
    December 6, 2016
  • Unger Review Gets Amazing Bargain on Stephen Colbert Contract
    July 22, 2025
  • New UN Map Finally Shows Paraguay At Its Actual Size
    September 8, 2026
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

Winnipeg Restaurant Bans Connor Hellebuyck and All Other Children Under 15

November 12, 2026

Mennonite Farm Boy to Fill In For Connor Hellebuyck Tonight

November 10, 2026

Angry Winnipeggers Demand Local Restaurant Installs Giant Animatronic Mouse to Entertain the Kids

November 9, 2026

Steinbachers Starve for Lack of Fast Food Chains

November 8, 2026

Wab Kinew Accidentally Sets Manitoba on Permanent Summer

November 7, 2026

Unger Games

  • Winnipeg Restaurant Bans Connor Hellebuyck and All Other Children Under 15
    November 12, 2026
  • Historic Comeback Gives Winnipeg Jets Control of House and Senate
    November 4, 2026
  • Mennonite Couple Make Sure to Eat at Home Before Jets Game
    October 30, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Leads League With Impressive 0.00 GAA So Far This Season
    October 5, 2026
  • Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg
    September 24, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved