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Unger Games

Conflict-Averse Mennonites Getting Really Into Soccer to Watch All the Ties

June 12, 2026

TORONTO, ON Thousands of Mennonites across Canada were relieved this afternoon after Canada ended their match with Croatia in a tie. “That way no one goes home happy,” said Pete Dyck of Kitchener. “You know, […]

Unger Games

Every Self-Respecting Mennonite Cheering for Paraguay in World Cup Opener Friday

June 11, 2026

LOS ANGELES, CA Every single Mennonite on the planet will be cheering on Paraguay as they face off against the Americans in the World Cup opener this Friday evening. “They’ll be cheering in Spanish. They’ll […]

Unger Conviction

  • Craft Beer Snob Ruins Church Men’s Fishing Weekend By Bringing Nothing But Really Bitter IPAs
    June 28, 2019
  • 90% of Heavy Metal Bands Fronted by Pastors’ Sons
    September 10, 2017
  • How to Choose Your New Colony Name: A Guide for Hutterites
    August 18, 2023

Unger & Thirst

  • Rogers Crew Getting Really Fat From All This Mennonite Food
    March 10, 2019
  • Mennonite Woman Uses the Same Tea Bag for a Record Ten Years
    March 8, 2017
  • Raisin Buns at Church Lunch Seen as ‘Really Bad Omen’
    April 6, 2023

Unger the Influence

  • James Comey Indicted Over ‘606 47’ Seashell Photo
    May 3, 2026
  • Hog Farmers Concerned as Manitoba Seeks to Ban AI
    May 2, 2026
  • Doug Ford to Exclusively Travel by Horse and Buggy from Now On
    April 19, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Man Switches Between English and Plautdietsch a Record 3000 Times in a Single Conversation
    October 29, 2017
  • Mennonite Man Makes Millions Selling Chicken Coops to Calgary Yuppies
    September 11, 2022
  • Dad Spares Rod, Son Not Spoiled
    January 9, 2018
  • Mennonite Golfer Spends Three Hours Looking for Lost Ball
    September 22, 2016

Trending

  • Adventurous Manitoban Drives Right to the Top of Province’s Highest Mountain
    June 3, 2026
  • Mennonite Woman Creates Her Own Rhubarb-Flavoured Bubly
    June 2, 2026
  • Trump Calls Andrew Unger “Untalented, Totally Not Funny,” Demands Cancellation of The Unger Review
    May 31, 2026
  • Trump to “Completely Destroy” Military He “Completely Destroyed” Last Week
    May 30, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Bono Vows to Fight the Abes Epidemic in Winkler
    August 9, 2016
  • Canadian Woman Turns to Pillar of Salt After Failing to Apply Adequate Levels of Moisturizer
    November 23, 2018
  • Bombers to Win Grey Cup Every Day Just So Portage and Main Can Stay Open to Pedestrians
    December 14, 2021
  • Ben Heppner and Howard Dyck to Take on Timothee Chalamet in High Stakes Prize Fight
    March 16, 2026
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Ottawa to Ban Social Media for Kids and Replace it with Hinterland Who’s Who

June 10, 2026

Mennonite Man Super Excited to Eat These Noah’s Ark Cookies

June 9, 2026

Mennonite Church to Host UFC Fight

June 7, 2026

Road Crews Really Busy This Summer Putting Out Pylons

June 6, 2026

Mennonite Man Installs New Inground Pool

June 4, 2026

Unger Games

  • Conflict-Averse Mennonites Getting Really Into Soccer to Watch All the Ties
    June 12, 2026
  • Every Self-Respecting Mennonite Cheering for Paraguay in World Cup Opener Friday
    June 11, 2026
  • Mennonite Church to Host UFC Fight
    June 7, 2026
  • Enhanced Games Allow Athletes to Use Summa Borscht
    May 28, 2026
  • Winnipeg Metro Region Hoists Centennial Cup
    May 18, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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