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Unger Suspicion

American School Bans ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’ For Being Canadian

October 14, 2026

COUNCIL BLUFFS, IA School districts across the United States have banned controversial Margaret Atwood novel The Handmaid’s Tale for containing “disturbing Canadian content.” “We have to protect our kids from reading Canadian literature,” said local parent Tiffany […]

Unger the Influence

White House Reinstates Day to Honour Guy Who Directed ‘Home Alone’

October 13, 2026

WASHINGTON, DC The White House announced this week that they were sick and tired of people changing the names of things all the time and so would be returning the day to honour the guy […]

Unger Conviction

  • Church’s Annual ‘Costume and Candy Party’ Eerily Similar to Halloween
    October 26, 2024
  • Divine Intervention? Really Long Train Prevents Mennonite Couple from Entering the City
    October 18, 2024
  • Fiery Pastor Finds Three Extra Syllables in the Name Jesus
    January 2, 2025

Unger & Thirst

  • Adorable Mennonite Child Becomes Millionaire Selling Chocolates to Old People
    March 25, 2018
  • Mennonite Man Tinkers with Grandma Penner’s Recipes
    October 6, 2018
  • Mennonite Church Bans ‘Roll Up the Rim’ as Gambling
    March 5, 2018

Unger the Influence

  • Toddler Demands Lake Ontario Be Renamed Lake Poopy Pants
    August 27, 2026
  • Trump Threatens to Rename Lake Winnipeg if Wab Kinew Doesn’t Stop Saying Mean Things About Him
    August 25, 2026
  • Prince Edward Island Becomes Accidental Target of White House Anti-DEI Campaign
    July 28, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Economical Mennonite Woman’s Been Using the Same Mask Since This Whole Thing Started
    July 26, 2020
  • Truckers Now Honking in Fluent Plautdietsch
    February 9, 2022
  • New York Girl Longs for a Life in Steinbach
    June 18, 2019
  • How to Send Hate Mail to The Daily Bonnet: A Guide
    December 11, 2022

Trending

  • British Columbians Can’t Decide Which Mennonite to Vote For
    October 6, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Leads League With Impressive 0.00 GAA So Far This Season
    October 5, 2026
  • Trump Promises Mennonites $5000 Worth of Bubbat if They Vote Republican
    October 3, 2026
  • Police Raid Home Suspected of Hosting Wild All-Night Tupperware Party
    October 2, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Kitchener-Waterloo to Be Renamed Waterloo-Kitchener
    March 7, 2017
  • New UN Map Finally Shows Paraguay At Its Actual Size
    September 8, 2026
  • Google Searches for “How to Become Amish” Surge During Presidential Debate
    October 1, 2020
  • Robots Caught on Kiss Cam at Björk Concert
    July 31, 2025
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Mennonite Woman Arrested for Buying Her Pumpkin Pie at Costco

October 12, 2026

Albertans to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Separation

October 11, 2026

Pentagon Introduces New “Firing Squad” Video Game for Kids

October 10, 2026

FIFA Awards Donald Trump Nobel Prize for Literature

October 8, 2026

Massive E-Scooter Outbreak Strikes Southern Manitoba

October 7, 2026

Unger Games

  • Connor Hellebuyck Leads League With Impressive 0.00 GAA So Far This Season
    October 5, 2026
  • Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg
    September 24, 2026
  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026
  • Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’
    September 13, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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