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Unger Games

FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match

July 6, 2026

SEATTLE, WA After a last second phone call from Donald Trump, FIFA President Gianni Infantino has agreed to let the US President act as head referee for tonight’s match in Seattle. “He knows so much […]

Unger Games

Canada Loses to Morocco After Not Getting Enough Pucks to the Net

July 5, 2026

HOUSTON, TX Team Canada lost 3-nil to Morocco last night after failing to get enough pucks to the net. “Plus they just weren’t getting in there on the forecheck,” said sports expert Jeremy Goertzen. “I’d […]

Unger Conviction

  • Dunkers Switch to Pouring After Water Main Break in Calgary
    December 31, 2025
  • Cellphone Ban Coming to Mennonite Churches this Fall
    August 15, 2024
  • Mennonite Man Sits at End of Pew, Absolutely Refuses to Scooch Over
    November 30, 2018

Unger & Thirst

  • Even Borscht is No Longer ‘Cheap as Borscht’ After Surge in Cabbage Prices
    February 19, 2020
  • All Steinbach Bars to Be Annexed By Neighbouring Municipality
    October 6, 2016
  • After Last Night Hanover Municipality Renamed ‘Hangover’
    January 1, 2018

Unger the Influence

  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026
  • James Comey Indicted Over ‘606 47’ Seashell Photo
    May 3, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Truckers Now Honking in Fluent Plautdietsch
    February 9, 2022
  • 7 Naughty Mennonite Emojis (and What They Really Mean)
    February 6, 2021
  • Local Woman Confuses ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’ for ‘The Daily Bonnet’
    October 14, 2019
  • Mennonite Man Left in Awkward Position After Neighbouring Passenger Falls Asleep on His Shoulder
    July 15, 2022

Trending

  • Taco Bell Unveils New Logo
    June 29, 2026
  • Leamington Residents Celebrate Canada’s World Cup Victory with Giant Ketchup-Covered Vereniki
    June 28, 2026
  • Winnipeg Jets Select Björk in First Round
    June 27, 2026
  • Mennonite Man Fakes Injury to Avoid Church this Morning
    June 27, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Highway 75 Celebrates 75 Years Under Construction
    October 13, 2024
  • Elon Musk Buys Mennonite Church, Appoints Himself Pastor
    November 2, 2022
  • Winkler Spy Balloon Shot Down Above Morden
    February 4, 2023
  • Jets Already Down Three Games to None after Opening Faceoff
    May 19, 2021
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Surprises Abound on Taylor and Travis’s Guest List

July 4, 2026

Area Man Spends 10 Hours Trying to Figure Out Hotel Shower Controls

July 3, 2026

Area Man Has No Idea His AI-Generated Poster is a Total Shit Show

July 2, 2026

Canadians Accidentally Set Off Fireworks 3 Days Early

July 1, 2026

Paraguay Defeats Germany Thanks to the Prayers of 100,000 Mennonites

June 30, 2026

Unger Games

  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026
  • Canada Loses to Morocco After Not Getting Enough Pucks to the Net
    July 5, 2026
  • Paraguay Defeats Germany Thanks to the Prayers of 100,000 Mennonites
    June 30, 2026
  • Leamington Residents Celebrate Canada’s World Cup Victory with Giant Ketchup-Covered Vereniki
    June 28, 2026
  • Winnipeg Jets Select Björk in First Round
    June 27, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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