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Unger & Thirst

McDonald’s CEO Reluctantly Tries New Vereniki Product

March 8, 2026

CHICAGO, IL After testing out the product for several months in rural Saskatchewan, McDonald’s CEO Chris Kempczinski announced in a viral video this week that the The Big Pierogi would be rolling out in stores […]

Unger the Influence

Conservatives Vote to Reaffirm Party Leader Mark Carney

March 6, 2026

OTTAWA, ON After a leadership review this week, the Conservative Party of Canada has overwhelmingly reaffirmed the leadership of Mark Carney. “He supports free trade, increased military spending, building pipelines, and supporting war with the […]

Unger Conviction

  • Southern Baptists Aim to Have More Dysfunctional Infighting than the Mennonites by 2024
    June 19, 2023
  • Mennonite Pastor Super Excited as His Live-Streamed Sermon Gets Three Whole Views
    March 22, 2020
  • Mennonite Man Brushes Up on His German to Read the Bible in Its ‘Original Language’
    March 3, 2017

Unger & Thirst

  • Resourceful Mennonite Woman Makes Do With Hamburger Patties and Hot Dog Buns
    May 25, 2020
  • Jaws of Life Required to Extract Red Candy from Oma’s Candy Bowl
    December 28, 2018
  • Popular Mennonite Cookbook Updated for Millennials: ‘The Less-with-More Cookbook’
    January 26, 2021

Unger the Influence

  • “Up is Down” and “Down is Up” New Report Suggests
    January 26, 2026
  • GTA Prepares for Largest Deposit of Snow Since the Rob Ford Administration
    January 25, 2026
  • Every American School to be Supplied with their Very Own Dairy Cow
    January 24, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Five Controversial Topics You Can’t Joke About With Mennonites
    March 31, 2018
  • Poll: Vote Now to Decide the Name of Steinbach’s Newest Park!
    October 14, 2016
  • Mennonite Pastors Make Statement With ‘Pay Us What You Owe Us’ T-Shirts
    July 25, 2025
  • A Collection of Daily Bonnet Christmas Articles
    November 14, 2017

Trending

  • American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey
    February 26, 2026
  • Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal
    February 25, 2026
  • Carney to Melt Down All of Canada’s Unwanted Olympic Medals to Build High Speed Rail Line
    February 24, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Reassures Jets Fans He Won’t Ever Play That Well Again
    February 23, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Toronto Reaches Trade Deal with St. Louis to Swap Trophies
    June 14, 2019
  • News Flash: Belize Exists!
    July 26, 2019
  • New Evidence Suggests Second Amendment Was All Just Satire
    February 24, 2018
  • Robots Caught on Kiss Cam at Björk Concert
    July 31, 2025
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High Valley Fills Winnipeg Theatre Entirely with Rempels

March 5, 2026

World War III Finally Gives Mennonites the Chance to be Conscientious Objectors Again

March 4, 2026

Frugal BC Mennonites Excited for the Permanent Daylight Savings

March 3, 2026

Funk and Penner Endorse Penner for Goertzen’s Job Reports Peters from Reimer

March 1, 2026

US Launches Major Attack on the Epstein Files

February 28, 2026

Unger Games

  • American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey
    February 26, 2026
  • Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal
    February 25, 2026
  • Carney to Melt Down All of Canada’s Unwanted Olympic Medals to Build High Speed Rail Line
    February 24, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Reassures Jets Fans He Won’t Ever Play That Well Again
    February 23, 2026
  • Massive Stockpile of Silver Medals Discovered at Local Thrift Store
    February 22, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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