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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Finishes the Internet

August 15, 2026
Unger & Thirst

Thousands of Mennonites Barely Clinging to Life During Nationwide Cottage Cheese Shortage

August 14, 2026

SASKATOON, SK Thousands of Mennonites are barely surviving this summer after a shortage of cottage cheese has left them without the necessary sustenance for life. “My Henry’s a fighter, but I’m just not sure how […]

Unger Conviction

  • Rubbers Completely Fill Mennonite Church Lobby
    December 27, 2017
  • New Mennonite Hymnal Eliminates Verse 3 from Every Hymn
    December 4, 2016
  • Mennonite Pastor Takes Up Vegas Residency
    February 28, 2019

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonites Rank Among the World’s Best Spitters
    April 4, 2017
  • Winkler Supermarket Starts Selling Liquor to Convince Mennonites to Cover Their Faces
    January 20, 2022
  • Steinbachers Mourn the Loss of Taco Bell
    April 19, 2017

Unger the Influence

  • Trump Really Excited About New $1.8 Billion Slush Fund
    May 20, 2026
  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Rainy Day Equals Free Car Wash for Mennonite Man
    March 25, 2021
  • Top 10 Menno Lit Satire Articles
    June 9, 2025
  • Mrs. Wiebe Raises Adult Son’s Allowance to 5 Shiny New Quarters a Week
    November 21, 2020
  • Mennonite Writer Stuck in Goshen After Missing Last Buggy Out of Town
    October 3, 2022

Trending

  • Mennonites Fill Copper Wire Shortage By Stretching Pennies
    August 8, 2026
  • Steinbach Unveils New Public Transit System
    August 5, 2026
  • Mennonite Grandma Punishes Grandkids By Making Them Chew Thrills Gum
    August 4, 2026
  • Rhubarb Discovered on Mennonite Woman’s Vereniki
    August 3, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Church of Scientology to Occupy Vacant Main Street Buildings
    October 4, 2017
  • Medical Experts Predict Fourth Wave of False Analogies
    September 3, 2021
  • Elon Musk Buys Mennonite Church, Appoints Himself Pastor
    November 2, 2022
  • Taylor Swift Ticket Discovered at Thrift Store
    December 1, 2022
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World’s Sturdiest Ice Maker Lasts a Record Three Days

August 13, 2026

Eclipse Glasses Required to Safely View Sunday’s Worship Service

August 12, 2026

Mennonite Woman Forgets to Put Star Anise in Her Chicken Soup

August 11, 2026

Mennonite Man Buys Back All the Albums He Was Forced to Burn in the 70s

August 10, 2026

Reitmans Introduces New ‘Angine de Poitrine’ Line

August 9, 2026

Unger Games

  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026
  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026
  • Canada Loses to Morocco After Not Getting Enough Pucks to the Net
    July 5, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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