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Unger Suspicion

Baal Really Excited for New Statue in His Honour

May 17, 2026

MIAMI, FL The ancient Canaanite deity Baal is super excited to have a statue in his honour placed just outside the Trump golf course in Florida. “I haven’t been honoured in such a public fashion […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman to Dust Entire Province of Manitoba

May 15, 2026

CARMAN, MB Mrs. Loewen of Carman has been enlisted by Manitoba Premier Wab Kinew to dust the entire province this weekend. “That was quite the dust storm,” said Kinew. “But luckily we have women like […]

Unger Conviction

  • Local Church Consists Entirely of Just Kehlers
    October 25, 2021
  • Mennonite Pastor Dresses Up as Lutheran this Morning
    October 31, 2021
  • Mennonite Man Wows Audience with Stunning Performance of that Piano Song You Play with Your Knuckles
    March 30, 2018

Unger & Thirst

  • Wine Found in Mennonite Woman’s Cupboard “Just for Cooking” She Claims
    January 23, 2020
  • Ra’bus Shortage Leaves Mennonites Eating Dry Roll Kuchen
    June 27, 2020
  • Millennials Completely Priced Out of Avocado Toast Market
    June 24, 2022

Unger the Influence

  • Mennonites Hired to Drain the Strait of Hormuz
    March 17, 2026
  • Conservatives Vote to Reaffirm Party Leader Mark Carney
    March 6, 2026
  • Funk and Penner Endorse Penner for Goertzen’s Job Reports Peters from Reimer
    March 1, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Texting Abbreviations: From LOL to WTF
    July 14, 2017
  • Steinbach Man Fined for Obstructed View; Everyone Thinks It’s Satire
    November 22, 2023
  • 7 Naughty Mennonite Emojis (and What They Really Mean)
    February 6, 2021
  • Mennonite Man Paints His Massey Ferguson Green and Yellow
    July 25, 2019

Trending

  • Mennonite Man Doesn’t Have Enough Space on Census Form to List All His Kids
    May 7, 2026
  • Tariffs Move Leafs’ Pick from First to Sixty-Seventh
    May 6, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026
  • Mennonite Man Finally Takes Off His Winter Tires
    May 4, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • American Universities to Shut Down and Be Replaced With Nothing But YouTube and Memes
    August 28, 2020
  • 67-year-old Mennonite Man Measures 6 7
    September 20, 2025
  • Winnipeg Pothole Swallows Entire Mennonite Family
    April 7, 2017
  • School Accidentally Plays Sex Pistols Song Before Morning Announcements
    June 19, 2025
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Donald Trump Tells Iran He Holds All the Cards

May 13, 2026

90-Year-Old Grandma Emerges Victorious in Senior Assassin 2026

May 12, 2026

Mennonite Man Sets Record for Tallest Bowl at Mongo’s Grill

May 10, 2026

Nationwide Cottage Cheese Shortage Causes Mennonites to Compromise Cherished Values for First Time Ever

May 9, 2026

Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”

May 8, 2026

Unger Games

  • Donald Trump Tells Iran He Holds All the Cards
    May 13, 2026
  • Tariffs Move Leafs’ Pick from First to Sixty-Seventh
    May 6, 2026
  • Taber Arena Will No Longer Be Flooded With Schmaunt Fat After Winning Kraft Hockeyville
    April 5, 2026
  • Peters “Makes It to First Base” Giving Hope to Young Men Across Winkler
    April 4, 2026
  • Jason Kelce Spotted on Manitoba Farm in Full Mennonite Attire
    March 11, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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