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The Daily Bonnet

Chihuahua Airport Offers New Lounge Just For Mennonite Grandmas

July 30, 2026

CHIHUAHUA CITY, MEXICO Mrs. Thiessen of Campo 67 was very excited to arrive at the airport in Chihuahua this week when she discovered a whole new lounge just for her. “Nah, oba, would you look […]

Unger the Influence

Prince Edward Island Becomes Accidental Target of White House Anti-DEI Campaign

July 28, 2026

CHARLOTTETOWN, PEI A new White House anti-DEI bill has inadvertently targeted the small Canadian province of Prince Edward Island. “It’s unfair, totally unfair. Those woke Canadians have a whole province dedicated to PEI,” said Trump. […]

Unger Conviction

  • Local Church to Host Weekly ‘Superspreader Potluck’
    October 16, 2020
  • Mennonite Sect Heads to Toronto to Await the Rapture
    February 25, 2019
  • Thrift Store Sees Huge Surge in Donations Thanks to Tomorrow’s Rapture
    September 22, 2025

Unger & Thirst

  • McDonalds Worker is Only Going to Call Your Freakin’ Number One More Time Before She Just Eats it All Herself Already
    May 22, 2024
  • How To Knack Your Zoat While Wearing A Mask
    May 24, 2020
  • Mennonite Man Generously Splurges on Dessert at Local Pub
    February 27, 2021

Unger the Influence

  • Trump Really Excited About New $1.8 Billion Slush Fund
    May 20, 2026
  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Man Refuses to Watch ‘Women Talking’ but Really Loves ‘12 Angry Men’
    March 18, 2023
  • Recent Crime Wave Prompts Niverville to Move 50 kms Further Away from Winnipeg
    January 4, 2017
  • Mennonite Woman Swipes Right on Her Own Cousin
    June 14, 2020
  • Car Air Conditioner to Face Off Against Heated Seat in Epic Battle this April
    April 20, 2017

Trending

  • Massive Algae Bloom Discovered Beneath Gordie Howe Bridge
    July 22, 2026
  • Area Couple Enjoys Delicious Meal of Authentic Mennonite Food
    July 21, 2026
  • Christopher Nolan Casts Pacifist Mennonite Farmer as Odysseus
    July 20, 2026
  • US Strikes Iran With Their Most Powerful Weapon: Taco Bell Lettuce
    July 19, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Portage and Main Barricades to be Moved to Main and Brandt
    October 24, 2018
  • Edmonton Elks to Face the Calgary Grammar Police in Season Opener
    June 13, 2021
  • Manitoba Beaches to Open This Weekend After Temperatures Soar to -15!
    February 13, 2019
  • Groundhog Predicts All Satire Sites to Make ‘Jungian Shadow’ Jokes Today
    February 2, 2023
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Winnipeg’s Population Surpasses 850,000 Friesens

July 27, 2026

Mennonite Family Wastes Entire Vacation Visiting Relatives

July 26, 2026

Southern Manitoba Transitions from Agricultural-Based Economy to Wedding Venue-Based Economy

July 25, 2026

Mennonite Aunt Shocked To Discover She’s Been Excluded From Family Group Chat This Whole Time

July 24, 2026

Mennonites Flock to Nickelback Concert to Collect their 5 Cents

July 23, 2026

Unger Games

  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026
  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026
  • Canada Loses to Morocco After Not Getting Enough Pucks to the Net
    July 5, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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