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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Buys Over a Million Dollars in Co-op Gas Just to Get a Huge Dividend Cheque

March 20, 2026

BLUMENORT, AB Area man Peter Dueck used the equity on his pea farm to buy over a million dollars of fuel at the local Co-op this past year, hoping for a really awesome dividend cheque in spring. “I […]

Unger & Thirst

Strawberries Discovered on Mennonite Man’s Vereniki

March 19, 2026

LA CRETE, AB A visiting couple from southern Manitoba made a shocking discovery in La Crete, Alberta this week: strawberries on vereniki. “Nah, oba, I’ve never even heard of such,” said Andrew Unger of Steinbach. […]

Unger Conviction

  • Local Congregation Installs Gender Neutral Church Pews
    July 12, 2016
  • Congregation Forced to Repeat “Good Morning” Over and Over Until it’s Loud Enough for the Pastor
    October 20, 2020
  • Mennonite Man Brings Pet Alligator to Church
    October 13, 2023

Unger & Thirst

  • Liberal Mennonite Church Approves the Use of Seedless Watermelons
    August 2, 2017
  • Climate Scientists Predict Global Shortage of Schmaunt Fat
    May 16, 2016
  • Popular Mennonite Cookbook Updated for Millennials: ‘The Less-with-More Cookbook’
    January 26, 2021

Unger the Influence

  • Premiers Gather in Saskatoon for Annual Crokinole Tournament
    January 29, 2026
  • “Up is Down” and “Down is Up” New Report Suggests
    January 26, 2026
  • GTA Prepares for Largest Deposit of Snow Since the Rob Ford Administration
    January 25, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonites Gather for Harder-Dyck Wedding
    November 8, 2024
  • Historians Baffled: “Were Mennonites Dancing in Danzig?”
    October 1, 2019
  • Mennonite Man Successfully Traces His Ancestors Back to Adam
    January 28, 2017
  • Virgin Births Nothing Rare in Mennonite Country
    December 24, 2017

Trending

  • Jason Kelce Spotted on Manitoba Farm in Full Mennonite Attire
    March 11, 2026
  • Schmaunt Fat Soars to $100 a Barrel
    March 10, 2026
  • McDonald’s CEO Reluctantly Tries New Vereniki Product
    March 8, 2026
  • Conservatives Vote to Reaffirm Party Leader Mark Carney
    March 6, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Winnipeg Couple Plans ‘Nice, Warm, Tropical Vacation’ on Mars
    January 28, 2019
  • Fox News Sold to Group of Mennonite Investors; New Channel to Promote ‘Peace, Love, and Understanding’
    September 13, 2016
  • Mennonite Banksy Strikes Again
    August 19, 2017
  • Taylor Swift is Unrecognizable in Music Video for ‘The Menno’
    February 28, 2020
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Local Gas Station to Offer Free Kick in the Groin with Every Purchase

March 18, 2026

Mennonites Hired to Drain the Strait of Hormuz

March 17, 2026

Ben Heppner and Howard Dyck to Take on Timothee Chalamet in High Stakes Prize Fight

March 16, 2026

Top 10 Mennonite Movies of the Year

March 14, 2026

Subway Opens in La Broquerie

March 12, 2026

Unger Games

  • Jason Kelce Spotted on Manitoba Farm in Full Mennonite Attire
    March 11, 2026
  • American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey
    February 26, 2026
  • Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal
    February 25, 2026
  • Carney to Melt Down All of Canada’s Unwanted Olympic Medals to Build High Speed Rail Line
    February 24, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Reassures Jets Fans He Won’t Ever Play That Well Again
    February 23, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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