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Unger the Influence

Pentagon Introduces New “Firing Squad” Video Game for Kids

October 10, 2026

WASHINGTON, DC Moments after announcing they’d be bringing back public executions, US Secretary of War Pete Hegseth introduced a snazzy new video game to share the experience with kids. “The kids just love video games,” […]

Unger Suspicion

FIFA Awards Donald Trump Nobel Prize for Literature

October 8, 2026

WASHINGTON, DC Moments after Canadian poet Anne Carson was announced as the winner of the 2026 Nobel Prize for Literature, a furious Donald Trump took to social media to announce his displeasure. “They’re out to […]

Unger Conviction

  • Daring Mennonite Couple Decide to Share a Bulletin this Sunday
    November 6, 2023
  • Blood Moon ‘A Sign From God’ that the Reign of the Fundamentalist Mennonite Elders Has Come to an End
    July 27, 2018
  • Mennonite Man Can’t Remember Where He Parked His Winter Coat
    January 15, 2023

Unger & Thirst

  • 24 Hours Later, Dad is Still Going Back for “Just One More Plate”
    June 18, 2018
  • Winnipeg Woman Enters Rehab With Honey Dill Sauce Addiction
    February 10, 2019
  • Wonder Oil to be Added to Town Drinking Water
    June 21, 2017

Unger the Influence

  • Prince Edward Island Becomes Accidental Target of White House Anti-DEI Campaign
    July 28, 2026
  • Vandals Caddyshack the Reflecting Pool
    June 26, 2026
  • Trump Vows to Make Washington Reflecting Pool as Beautiful as Lake Winnipeg
    June 17, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Woman Fills Tub…Then Adds Water
    July 3, 2017
  • Lobby Group Promotes “Abstinence Only” Dance Education
    August 18, 2016
  • Ovechkin Accidentally Passes the Puck
    April 1, 2025
  • Winkler Politician Demands $5 Billion Wall Around Morden
    January 9, 2019

Trending

  • AI Claims It Won’t Kill All Humans and There’s Nothing to Worry About
    September 27, 2026
  • Hundreds of Legal Potash Dispensaries to Open in Saskatchewan
    September 26, 2026
  • Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg
    September 24, 2026
  • Left Lane Between Steinbach and Blumenort to be Designated “Slow Minivan Lane”
    September 22, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Pair of Reimers Go Door-to-Door in Salt Lake City
    July 13, 2018
  • Ottawa Senators Attendance Way Up this Year
    April 12, 2021
  • Entire Province of Manitoba Calls in Sick This Morning
    May 11, 2018
  • Liberals and NDP Merge to form “Giant Scary Socialist Robot from Outer Space”
    April 6, 2022
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Massive E-Scooter Outbreak Strikes Southern Manitoba

October 7, 2026

British Columbians Can’t Decide Which Mennonite to Vote For

October 6, 2026

Connor Hellebuyck Leads League With Impressive 0.00 GAA So Far This Season

October 5, 2026

Trump Promises Mennonites $5000 Worth of Bubbat if They Vote Republican

October 3, 2026

Police Raid Home Suspected of Hosting Wild All-Night Tupperware Party

October 2, 2026

Unger Games

  • Connor Hellebuyck Leads League With Impressive 0.00 GAA So Far This Season
    October 5, 2026
  • Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg
    September 24, 2026
  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026
  • Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’
    September 13, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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