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Unger Suspicion

AI Claims It Won’t Kill All Humans and There’s Nothing to Worry About

September 27, 2026

SILICON VALLEY, CA After several disturbing reports by AI experts that claimed there was a 10% chance AI would kill us all within 10 years, new studies written by AI show that there’s actually nothing […]

Unger Suspicion

Hundreds of Legal Potash Dispensaries to Open in Saskatchewan

September 26, 2026

REGINA, SK Residents of Saskatchewan have voted overwhelmingly this week to legalize potash dispensaries across the province. “We’ve gotta do something to keep up with Belarus,” said Regina resident Barry Broesky. “I’m sure with all […]

Unger Conviction

  • Winkler Megamart to Become One Massive Shed Church
    December 21, 2021
  • Winkler Church to Install Roundabout in Parking Lot
    August 10, 2017
  • ‘Praise God From Whom All Blessings Flow’ Reaches #1 on iTunes Chart Nearly 5 Centuries After its Release
    February 6, 2024

Unger & Thirst

  • Schmaunt Fat Prices Soar to Record Highs
    June 20, 2017
  • No Tüte for Naughty Uncle Corny This Year
    December 26, 2018
  • Mennonite Woman’s Medicine Cabinet Filled with Brandy
    October 24, 2024

Unger the Influence

  • Trump Calls Andrew Unger “Untalented, Totally Not Funny,” Demands Cancellation of The Unger Review
    May 31, 2026
  • Trump to “Completely Destroy” Military He “Completely Destroyed” Last Week
    May 30, 2026
  • Carney Just One MP Resignation Away From Minority Government the People Voted For
    May 29, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • 10 Steinbach Online Headlines as Written by ChatGPT
    June 12, 2023
  • Mom’s Spoon Preferred to Dad’s Belt, Survey Results Suggest
    April 29, 2018
  • “It was not what I was expecting”: Mennonite Man Disappointed with Hump Day
    July 10, 2024
  • Mennonite Father Tortures Family By Taking a Ride to the Country to Look at the Crops
    August 16, 2021

Trending

  • Australian Pastor Apologizes, Says He Shouldn’t Have Preached Hourlong Sermon with Diarrhea
    September 18, 2026
  • Frugal Mennonites Excited for the Permanent Daylight Savings
    September 17, 2026
  • Carney Sends Mennonite Delegates to Negotiate with the EU
    September 16, 2026
  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Teens Shocked to Meet Grandparents at New Timothée Chalamet Movie
    December 26, 2024
  • We Have Now Officially Entered a Peculiar Alternate Universe Where Mel Gibson Makes Movies About Conscientious Objectors
    November 4, 2016
  • Anne Murray Flies Over Province Singing ‘Snowbird’
    May 14, 2020
  • “Road Conditions” Keep Winnipeggers from Leaving the City to Visit the Relatives
    March 17, 2023
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Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg

September 24, 2026

Left Lane Between Steinbach and Blumenort to be Designated “Slow Minivan Lane”

September 22, 2026

Electrician Busy Explaining to Concerned Mennonites what ‘AC/DC’ Really Means

September 21, 2026

Mennonite Woman Ruins Perfectly Good Cinnamon Buns By Adding Raisins

September 20, 2026

Ed Sheeran Drops Mennonite Choir from North American Tour

September 19, 2026

Unger Games

  • Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg
    September 24, 2026
  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026
  • Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’
    September 13, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026
  • Massive Simon Hildebrandt Statue Appears Outside MBCI
    August 16, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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