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Unger the Influence

White House Reinstates Day to Honour Guy Who Directed ‘Home Alone’

October 13, 2026

WASHINGTON, DC The White House announced this week that they were sick and tired of people changing the names of things all the time and so would be returning the day to honour the guy […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Arrested for Buying Her Pumpkin Pie at Costco

October 12, 2026

SASKATOON, SK Area woman Anne Froese, 71, has been taken into custody by Saskatoon policy this weekend after it was discovered she had tried to pass off a Costco pumpkin pie as her own. “When […]

Unger Conviction

  • Trudeau to Mennonite Pastors: ‘Stop Speaking So Moistly’
    April 8, 2020
  • Mennonite Pastor Launches String of F-Bombs in Last Sermon Before Retirement
    July 25, 2018
  • Goldmine of Discarded Gospel Records Discovered at Local Thrift Store
    July 28, 2019

Unger & Thirst

  • Andrew Unger Celebrates 10 Years of Schmaunt Fat Jokes
    May 25, 2026
  • Mennonite Woman Shunned for Not Making Her Own Crusts
    January 21, 2020
  • Mennonite Woman Arrested for Buying Her Pumpkin Pie at Costco
    October 12, 2026

Unger the Influence

  • Toddler Demands Lake Ontario Be Renamed Lake Poopy Pants
    August 27, 2026
  • Trump Threatens to Rename Lake Winnipeg if Wab Kinew Doesn’t Stop Saying Mean Things About Him
    August 25, 2026
  • Prince Edward Island Becomes Accidental Target of White House Anti-DEI Campaign
    July 28, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • New TV Show ‘Cash Buggy’ Offers Riders a Chance to Win Money While on the Way to Church
    October 20, 2018
  • Mennonite Woman to Smother Relatives with Wet Kisses at this Afternoon’s Gathering
    December 26, 2019
  • Mennonite Woman Still Waiting for Her Photos to be Developed at Penner Foods
    January 10, 2022
  • Families Delighted With Local Production of ‘Peter Panner’
    August 22, 2016

Trending

  • Connor Hellebuyck Leads League With Impressive 0.00 GAA So Far This Season
    October 5, 2026
  • Trump Promises Mennonites $5000 Worth of Bubbat if They Vote Republican
    October 3, 2026
  • Police Raid Home Suspected of Hosting Wild All-Night Tupperware Party
    October 2, 2026
  • AI Claims It Won’t Kill All Humans and There’s Nothing to Worry About
    September 27, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Mennonite Man to Challenge Floyd Mayweather
    August 27, 2017
  • Team of Industrious Amish Hired to Fix McDonald’s Ice Cream Machine
    May 10, 2025
  • Mennonite Woman Watches ‘Black Panther’, Can’t Figure Out Which One Is Peter Sellers
    June 8, 2018
  • Calgarians Vote Not to Host Massive $5 Billion Faspa
    November 14, 2018
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Albertans to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Separation

October 11, 2026

Pentagon Introduces New “Firing Squad” Video Game for Kids

October 10, 2026

FIFA Awards Donald Trump Nobel Prize for Literature

October 8, 2026

Massive E-Scooter Outbreak Strikes Southern Manitoba

October 7, 2026

British Columbians Can’t Decide Which Mennonite to Vote For

October 6, 2026

Unger Games

  • Connor Hellebuyck Leads League With Impressive 0.00 GAA So Far This Season
    October 5, 2026
  • Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg
    September 24, 2026
  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026
  • Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’
    September 13, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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