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Unger Games

Donald Trump Tells Iran He Holds All the Cards

May 13, 2026

WASHINGTON, DC In his most emphatic statement to date, US President Donald Trump has told Iranian authorities to give up because he holds all the Dutch Blitz cards. “I’ve got all the cards. All the […]

Unger Suspicion

90-Year-Old Grandma Emerges Victorious in Senior Assassin 2026

May 12, 2026

ALTONA, MB Mrs. Dorothy Wiebe of Altona was the last senior in town not to get sprayed with a water gun this week and has been crowned winner of Senior Assassin 2026. “I knew they […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Couple Claim TV is Just for Watching Billy Graham Specials
    April 4, 2023
  • MBers Dress as GCers for Halloween
    October 31, 2019
  • Area Church Votes to Become Gossip-Affirming
    July 28, 2016

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonites Excited as Masks are Finally Being Handed Out at the Liquor Store
    January 14, 2022
  • Mennonite Man Sets Record for Tallest Bowl at Mongo’s Grill
    May 10, 2026
  • Manitoba Knackzoat Reservations Surge on Opening Day
    April 7, 2021

Unger the Influence

  • Mennonites Hired to Drain the Strait of Hormuz
    March 17, 2026
  • Conservatives Vote to Reaffirm Party Leader Mark Carney
    March 6, 2026
  • Funk and Penner Endorse Penner for Goertzen’s Job Reports Peters from Reimer
    March 1, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Morden, Manitoba Has it All! Signs! Fossils! Chicken Chef!
    August 25, 2016
  • Mennonite Man Finally Takes Off His Winter Tires
    May 4, 2026
  • ‘Free Cotton Swab’ Giveaway Has Mennonites Lined Up for Blocks
    June 15, 2020
  • Mennonite Man to Drive the Entire Trans-Canada Highway in the Left Lane
    May 10, 2017

Trending

  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026
  • Mennonite Man Finally Takes Off His Winter Tires
    May 4, 2026
  • James Comey Indicted Over ‘606 47’ Seashell Photo
    May 3, 2026
  • Hog Farmers Concerned as Manitoba Seeks to Ban AI
    May 2, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Canada Pays Off Entire Federal Debt One Day After Marijuana Legalization
    October 18, 2018
  • Putin “Too Busy Shirtless Hunting” to Attend Gorbachev’s Funeral
    September 1, 2022
  • Google Searches for “How to Become Amish” Surge During Presidential Debate
    October 1, 2020
  • A List of Better Secular Alternatives to Wholesome Christian Rock Bands
    June 27, 2018
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Mennonite Man Sets Record for Tallest Bowl at Mongo’s Grill

May 10, 2026

Nationwide Cottage Cheese Shortage Causes Mennonites to Compromise Cherished Values for First Time Ever

May 9, 2026

Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”

May 8, 2026

Mennonite Man Doesn’t Have Enough Space on Census Form to List All His Kids

May 7, 2026

Tariffs Move Leafs’ Pick from First to Sixty-Seventh

May 6, 2026

Unger Games

  • Donald Trump Tells Iran He Holds All the Cards
    May 13, 2026
  • Tariffs Move Leafs’ Pick from First to Sixty-Seventh
    May 6, 2026
  • Taber Arena Will No Longer Be Flooded With Schmaunt Fat After Winning Kraft Hockeyville
    April 5, 2026
  • Peters “Makes It to First Base” Giving Hope to Young Men Across Winkler
    April 4, 2026
  • Jason Kelce Spotted on Manitoba Farm in Full Mennonite Attire
    March 11, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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