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Unger Suspicion

American School Bans ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’ For Being Canadian

October 14, 2026

COUNCIL BLUFFS, IA School districts across the United States have banned controversial Margaret Atwood novel The Handmaid’s Tale for containing “disturbing Canadian content.” “We have to protect our kids from reading Canadian literature,” said local parent Tiffany […]

Unger the Influence

White House Reinstates Day to Honour Guy Who Directed ‘Home Alone’

October 13, 2026

WASHINGTON, DC The White House announced this week that they were sick and tired of people changing the names of things all the time and so would be returning the day to honour the guy […]

Unger Conviction

  • ‘Praise God From Whom All Blessings Flow’ Reaches #1 on iTunes Chart Nearly 5 Centuries After its Release
    February 6, 2024
  • Grandma Plett Discovers Bible iPhone App, Disrupts Service
    August 26, 2020
  • Local Church to Host Weekly ‘Superspreader Potluck’
    October 16, 2020

Unger & Thirst

  • Archaeologists Excavate Thick Layer of Sunflower Seeds on Car Floor
    August 29, 2016
  • Eggy Mennonite Dish Now a Luxury Item
    January 18, 2023
  • Mennonite Woman Takes Home the Super Bowl
    February 7, 2021

Unger the Influence

  • Toddler Demands Lake Ontario Be Renamed Lake Poopy Pants
    August 27, 2026
  • Trump Threatens to Rename Lake Winnipeg if Wab Kinew Doesn’t Stop Saying Mean Things About Him
    August 25, 2026
  • Prince Edward Island Becomes Accidental Target of White House Anti-DEI Campaign
    July 28, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Costco Cracks Down on Mennonites Sharing Memberships
    August 13, 2024
  • Mennonites Invade Giant Tiger for Farmer Sausage Sale
    January 5, 2023
  • More than a Dozen Friesens Found Frozen in Friedensruh
    February 27, 2018
  • Hilarious New Show Features Leading Anabaptist Scholars in ‘Drunk Mennonite History’
    October 21, 2020

Trending

  • British Columbians Can’t Decide Which Mennonite to Vote For
    October 6, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Leads League With Impressive 0.00 GAA So Far This Season
    October 5, 2026
  • Trump Promises Mennonites $5000 Worth of Bubbat if They Vote Republican
    October 3, 2026
  • Police Raid Home Suspected of Hosting Wild All-Night Tupperware Party
    October 2, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Folk Fest Attendee Sells Spot in the Shade for $500 a Square Foot
    July 14, 2026
  • Prime Minister, Bryan Adams Share Roll Kuchen in Altona
    September 5, 2026
  • Pat Sajak to be Replaced with Mennonite Man who Only Knows Plautdietsch
    June 12, 2024
  • Pop Star Releases New ‘Voices Together (Taylor’s Version)’
    November 14, 2021
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Mennonite Woman Arrested for Buying Her Pumpkin Pie at Costco

October 12, 2026

Albertans to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Separation

October 11, 2026

Pentagon Introduces New “Firing Squad” Video Game for Kids

October 10, 2026

FIFA Awards Donald Trump Nobel Prize for Literature

October 8, 2026

Massive E-Scooter Outbreak Strikes Southern Manitoba

October 7, 2026

Unger Games

  • Connor Hellebuyck Leads League With Impressive 0.00 GAA So Far This Season
    October 5, 2026
  • Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg
    September 24, 2026
  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026
  • Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’
    September 13, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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