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Unger Games

Winnipeg Jets Select Björk in First Round

June 27, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB The Winnipeg Jets sent shockwaves across the hockey world this afternoon after selecting Icelandic music superstar Björk in the first round of the draft this year. “We’ve been scouting her for a while,” […]

Unger the Influence

Vandals Caddyshack the Reflecting Pool

June 26, 2026

WASHINGTON, DC Vacationers swimming in the Washington, DC Reflecting Pool vacated really quick this afternoon after someone “Caddyshacked” the pool. “I don’t know who did it or how it happened,” said Gary Kehler, “but when […]

Unger Conviction

  • Dual Headstone Eagerly Awaits Death of Spouse
    August 23, 2025
  • Mennonite Church Shoppers Seek ‘Bargain Basement’ Prices
    October 26, 2019
  • Why the Church Lobby is Even Better than Tinder!
    September 20, 2017

Unger & Thirst

  • Daring Mennonite Couple to Try Costco Farmer Sausage
    September 25, 2022
  • Neufeld Downs Entire Grey Cup Filled with Komst Borscht
    December 13, 2021
  • Canadian Woman Confuses Vegemite for Nutella
    June 3, 2024

Unger the Influence

  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026
  • James Comey Indicted Over ‘606 47’ Seashell Photo
    May 3, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Michelle Sawatzky Wins Olympic Gold in Radio Broadcasting
    August 10, 2016
  • Ten Ways that Mennonites are ‘Greener’ than You Are
    May 17, 2019
  • Mennonite Village Gets Downgraded to Darp Status
    September 25, 2018
  • Tourists Flock to Steinbach’s Newest Attraction: The Famous Main and Brandt Potholes
    March 30, 2024

Trending

  • Canadians Celebrate as List of ‘Sports We Don’t Suck At’ Balloons to Two
    June 18, 2026
  • Trump Vows to Make Washington Reflecting Pool as Beautiful as Lake Winnipeg
    June 17, 2026
  • Alberta Man Votes to Stay in Canada After Discovering Honey Dill Sauce
    June 15, 2026
  • Musk Tries Desperately to Squeeze Camel Through Eye of This Needle
    June 14, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Tom Cochrane Will Attempt to Get Mennonites to Sing Along to Rock Songs Tonight
    June 17, 2017
  • Putin “Too Busy Shirtless Hunting” to Attend Gorbachev’s Funeral
    September 1, 2022
  • Legendary Hip-Hop Group Run EMC to Reunite for Annual Church Convention
    July 2, 2016
  • Approaching Cop Car Turns Out to Be Just a Guy with a Ski Rack
    October 23, 2025
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300-Foot Gash Appears in MB Church Baptismal Tank

June 25, 2026

Mennonite Man Leaves Faspa Early to Avoid Cleaning Up the Chairs

June 24, 2026

Libertarian Accidentally Walks Down Public Sidewalk

June 23, 2026

Mennonite Couple Honour Dad by Making Him Come Over and Fix Stuff

June 21, 2026

Recently Retired Jonathan Toews Scrambles to Get His Name on the Fernwood Waiting List

June 20, 2026

Unger Games

  • Winnipeg Jets Select Björk in First Round
    June 27, 2026
  • Recently Retired Jonathan Toews Scrambles to Get His Name on the Fernwood Waiting List
    June 20, 2026
  • Canadians Celebrate as List of ‘Sports We Don’t Suck At’ Balloons to Two
    June 18, 2026
  • Conflict-Averse Mennonites Getting Really Into Soccer to Watch All the Ties
    June 12, 2026
  • Every Self-Respecting Mennonite Cheering for Paraguay in World Cup Opener Friday
    June 11, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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