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Unger Suspicion

World’s Sturdiest Ice Maker Lasts a Record Three Days

August 13, 2026

LEAMINGTON, ON Mrs. Janzen impressed everyone in Leamington this afternoon after the ice maker on her brand new refrigerator lasted all the way to mid-week. “I’ve never seen such impressive performance,” said Mrs. Janzen. “Normally […]

Unger Conviction

Eclipse Glasses Required to Safely View Sunday’s Worship Service

August 12, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB Waters of Blessing, an area church well known for its mind-blowing worship hour, is urging parishioners to bring their eclipse glasses along to this weekend’s service. “We’ve heard your cries for more total […]

Unger Conviction

  • Three Mennonites Hospitalized After Brutal Drive-By Shunning
    December 7, 2016
  • The Daily Bonnet Asks: Can You Be Both Christian and Rich?
    June 11, 2022
  • Area Man Supports “Biblical Marriage” By Obtaining 700 Wives and 300 Concubines
    June 11, 2025

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Man’s Been Using the Same McDonald’s Cup for the Past 15 Years
    March 5, 2025
  • Demolished Winkler Tower Cripples City’s Schmaunt Fat Supply
    November 23, 2021
  • Road Closures Cut Off Paska Supply
    April 15, 2022

Unger the Influence

  • Trump Really Excited About New $1.8 Billion Slush Fund
    May 20, 2026
  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Gathering Cancelled: Friesens Told to Go Home and Stay There
    December 27, 2021
  • Mennonite Family to Dress Up, Eat Candy, and Pretend Not to Celebrate Halloween
    October 31, 2023
  • Chaste Young Mennonite Man Fully Intends to Pay Before He Pumps
    June 2, 2023
  • Mennonite Man Drives Really Slow ‘To Be a Witness for the Lord’
    August 25, 2016

Trending

  • Mennonite Grandma Punishes Grandkids By Making Them Chew Thrills Gum
    August 4, 2026
  • Rhubarb Discovered on Mennonite Woman’s Vereniki
    August 3, 2026
  • 8 Women Show Up to Claim Prize After Mary Unrau’s Name Called in Raffle Draw
    August 2, 2026
  • Jeff Bridges, John Goodman Reunite for ‘The Big Sawatzky’
    August 1, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Fred Penner and Al Simmons to Square Off in World Heavyweight Title
    July 14, 2019
  • Jeff Bridges, John Goodman Reunite for ‘The Big Sawatzky’
    August 1, 2026
  • Tories Target Mennonite Voters with Dutch Blitz-Themed Attack Ads
    October 2, 2023
  • Mennonite Woman Struggles to Keep Dandelions, Quackgrass, and AI Data Centres Out of Her Garden This Year
    July 7, 2026
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Mennonite Woman Forgets to Put Star Anise in Her Chicken Soup

August 11, 2026

Mennonite Man Buys Back All the Albums He Was Forced to Burn in the 70s

August 10, 2026

Reitmans Introduces New ‘Angine de Poitrine’ Line

August 9, 2026

Mennonites Fill Copper Wire Shortage By Stretching Pennies

August 8, 2026

Steinbach Unveils New Public Transit System

August 5, 2026

Unger Games

  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026
  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026
  • Canada Loses to Morocco After Not Getting Enough Pucks to the Net
    July 5, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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