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Unger Games

Winnipeg Restaurant Bans Connor Hellebuyck and All Other Children Under 15

November 12, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB A popular new restaurant in Winnipeg drew international attention this week after barring all children under 15, including former Jets goalie Connor Hellebuyck. “We’re banning children or anyone who acts like a child,” […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Farm Boy to Fill In For Connor Hellebuyck Tonight

November 10, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB After apparently being absolutely petrified of playing in Winnipeg tonight, New Jersey Devils goalie Connor Hellebyuck will instead be eating a Jets Dog from the stands while little Timmy Wiebe of the Rosenort […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Woman Caught on Facebook During Church Service
    April 23, 2017
  • Mennonite Minister Excommunicates Entire Congregation
    October 7, 2020
  • Christian Man Says ‘Merry Christmas’, Nothing Happens
    December 16, 2019

Unger & Thirst

  • Faspa Cancelled After Church Runs Out of Bothwell Cheese
    May 28, 2017
  • Panic Strikes Bible Camp After Tuck Shop Runs Out of Doritos and Pepsi
    July 31, 2019
  • Potluck Goers Prefer Mrs. Loewen’s Taco Salad to Mrs. Dueck’s
    June 20, 2021

Unger the Influence

  • White House Reinstates Day to Honour Guy Who Directed ‘Home Alone’
    October 13, 2026
  • Albertans to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Separation
    October 11, 2026
  • Pentagon Introduces New “Firing Squad” Video Game for Kids
    October 10, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Bible Study Turns Into Multi-Level Marketing Pitch
    October 19, 2016
  • Mennonite Man to Increase Gas Production
    March 24, 2022
  • Local Woman Completely Hooked on The Mennodalorian
    January 25, 2021
  • Brilliant Man Disproves Global Warming By Pointing Out the Weather
    February 6, 2019

Trending

  • Winnipeg Man Absolutely Exhausted Due to Lack of Time Change
    November 3, 2026
  • Winkler to Set Clocks One Hour Ahead of Morden
    November 1, 2026
  • Winnipeg Couple Dress as Country’s Scariest Creature: Canada Geese
    October 31, 2026
  • Mennonite Couple Make Sure to Eat at Home Before Jets Game
    October 30, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • ‘Tin Foil Hats Over Masks’ Group to Stage Massive Protest
    January 17, 2021
  • Festival to Feature New Chilliwack Cover Band Called Abbotsford
    May 9, 2025
  • Protestors Demand that Taylor Swift Get Around in this 1987 Plymouth
    March 14, 2024
  • Biblical Fiery Furnace Located in Southern Manitoba
    June 20, 2022
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Angry Winnipeggers Demand Local Restaurant Installs Giant Animatronic Mouse to Entertain the Kids

November 9, 2026

Steinbachers Starve for Lack of Fast Food Chains

November 8, 2026

Wab Kinew Accidentally Sets Manitoba on Permanent Summer

November 7, 2026

Mennonite Man Takes 28 Years to Walk from Winkler to Morden

November 5, 2026

Historic Comeback Gives Winnipeg Jets Control of House and Senate

November 4, 2026

Unger Games

  • Winnipeg Restaurant Bans Connor Hellebuyck and All Other Children Under 15
    November 12, 2026
  • Historic Comeback Gives Winnipeg Jets Control of House and Senate
    November 4, 2026
  • Mennonite Couple Make Sure to Eat at Home Before Jets Game
    October 30, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Leads League With Impressive 0.00 GAA So Far This Season
    October 5, 2026
  • Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg
    September 24, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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