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Unger Suspicion

World’s Sturdiest Ice Maker Lasts a Record Three Days

August 13, 2026

LEAMINGTON, ON Mrs. Janzen impressed everyone in Leamington this afternoon after the ice maker on her brand new refrigerator lasted all the way to mid-week. “I’ve never seen such impressive performance,” said Mrs. Janzen. “Normally […]

Unger Conviction

Eclipse Glasses Required to Safely View Sunday’s Worship Service

August 12, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB Waters of Blessing, an area church well known for its mind-blowing worship hour, is urging parishioners to bring their eclipse glasses along to this weekend’s service. “We’ve heard your cries for more total […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Woman Folds a Record 300 Bulletins in Just 5 Minutes
    October 25, 2022
  • Thousands of Catholics Forced to Become Anabaptists After Priest Says One Wrong Word
    February 16, 2022
  • Pastor’s Son By Far the Worst Behaved Kid in Sunday School
    January 18, 2018

Unger & Thirst

  • Silly Americans Don’t Even Realize it’s Thanksgiving
    October 12, 2025
  • Mennonite Couple Enjoys Romantic Late Night Supper at 4:30 in the Afternoon
    September 3, 2019
  • Ten Authentic Mennonite Dishes to Make for Mennonite Heritage Week
    September 8, 2019

Unger the Influence

  • Trump Really Excited About New $1.8 Billion Slush Fund
    May 20, 2026
  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • “Fearless” Invading Army Chased Out of Steinbach By a Gardening Implement
    November 15, 2020
  • Anabaptist Woman Seen With Two Men a Night
    February 22, 2019
  • Mennonite Woman Becomes Pregnant After Exposing Her Ankles
    December 22, 2024
  • Mennonite Man Runs for Mayor of Vanapag
    October 24, 2022

Trending

  • Mennonite Grandma Punishes Grandkids By Making Them Chew Thrills Gum
    August 4, 2026
  • Rhubarb Discovered on Mennonite Woman’s Vereniki
    August 3, 2026
  • 8 Women Show Up to Claim Prize After Mary Unrau’s Name Called in Raffle Draw
    August 2, 2026
  • Jeff Bridges, John Goodman Reunite for ‘The Big Sawatzky’
    August 1, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • A Canadian Election Post that is Certain to Please Absolutely Everyone
    October 20, 2019
  • Winnipeg Couple Plans ‘Nice, Warm, Tropical Vacation’ on Mars
    January 28, 2019
  • ‘Tooth & Nail’ Band Books Thirty Night Residency in Baptist Church Basement
    April 5, 2021
  • After 20 Years in Calgary, Manitoba Man Still Hasn’t Skied
    December 16, 2017
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Mennonite Woman Forgets to Put Star Anise in Her Chicken Soup

August 11, 2026

Mennonite Man Buys Back All the Albums He Was Forced to Burn in the 70s

August 10, 2026

Reitmans Introduces New ‘Angine de Poitrine’ Line

August 9, 2026

Mennonites Fill Copper Wire Shortage By Stretching Pennies

August 8, 2026

Steinbach Unveils New Public Transit System

August 5, 2026

Unger Games

  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026
  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026
  • Canada Loses to Morocco After Not Getting Enough Pucks to the Net
    July 5, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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