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Unger Suspicion

City of Winnipeg Seeks to Modernize Rapid Transit System

March 26, 2023

WINNIPEG, MB After years of lagging behind other comparable cities, Winnipeg has finally decided it’s time to modernize its rapid transit system by hiring rusty pickup trucks to take passengers up and down Henderson Highway. […]

Unger & Thirst

World’s Most Daring Mennonite Man Tries the Mild Spice

March 25, 2023

STEINBACH, MB Andre Unrau, 43, of Steinbach has entered the Guinness Book of Records this week after trying the mild spice at the new Chica’s Chicken in Steinbach. “No Mennonite has ever ventured beyond the […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Couple Still Late for Church Despite Extra Hour of Sleep
    November 3, 2019
  • Church Cell Group Consists Mostly of Endoplasmic Reticulum
    January 8, 2019
  • Congregation Shocked as Guitarist Snaps a G String
    June 25, 2019

Unger & Thirst

  • Young Man Comes Out as Vegetarian
    November 27, 2016
  • Mennonite Prophet Turns Wine Into Water
    May 12, 2017
  • Hungover Mennonite Woman Insists “It’s Only Covid”
    June 22, 2022

Unger the Influence

  • FBI Discovers Massive Stash of Yerba Tea at Trump Estate
    August 9, 2022
  • Mennonite Man Unfollows Daily Bonnet After It Gets Political for First Time in 6 Years
    June 28, 2022
  • “Oops, My Bad,” Say Democrats Who Forgot to Codify Roe v. Wade for Almost 50 Years
    June 26, 2022

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Women Concerned Daughter Might Be In Some Sort of Cult
    January 22, 2022
  • Mennonite MP Caught Leaving His Webcam On During Meddachschlop
    April 15, 2021
  • NASA Report: Mennonites Live in Parallel Universe Where Time Runs Backwards
    May 23, 2020
  • Mennonite Man Starts GoFundMe to Pay for Tips at Chicken Chef
    January 31, 2023

Trending

  • James Reimer Declines to Wear ‘Violent’ San Jose Sharks Jersey
    March 19, 2023
  • Mennonite Man Refuses to Watch ‘Women Talking’ but Really Loves ‘12 Angry Men’
    March 18, 2023
  • “Road Conditions” Keep Winnipeggers from Leaving the City to Visit the Relatives
    March 17, 2023
  • Oscar Red Carpet Replaced with Mennonite Quilt
    March 16, 2023

Unger Suspicion

  • Donald Trump Accuses Obama of Being a ‘Secret Mennonite’
    May 23, 2016
  • Tom Cochrane Will Attempt to Get Mennonites to Sing Along to Rock Songs Tonight
    June 17, 2017
  • Judge Sentences Katy Perry to Kiss 100 Random Mennonite Dudes
    March 16, 2018
  • Tucker Carlson to Mennonite Men: “Make Sure to Smoke Your Sausage”
    April 23, 2022
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Steinbach Declared “Most Generous” Contributors to Church Gymnasium Funds

March 24, 2023

Jets Add Mennonite Sunday School Teacher to Lowly Power Play Unit

March 23, 2023

Spring is Here! Manitobans Excited for Only 8 More Weeks of Winter

March 22, 2023

Mennonite Woman’s Ice Cream Pails Full of Cash Completely Unaffected By Banking Crisis

March 21, 2023

Unworn James Reimer ‘Pride’ Jersey Turned into Lovely Mennonite Quilt

March 20, 2023

Unger Games

  • Jets Add Mennonite Sunday School Teacher to Lowly Power Play Unit
    March 23, 2023
  • Unworn James Reimer ‘Pride’ Jersey Turned into Lovely Mennonite Quilt
    March 20, 2023
  • Winnipeg Jets Players Offered Part Time Jobs at Portage Place
    March 11, 2023
  • Church AGM Scheduled to Coincide with Most Important Game of the Season
    February 23, 2023
  • Jennifer Jones Finds Curlers in Altona
    February 22, 2023

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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