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Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Mistakes MLCC for MCC

September 11, 2026

WINKLER, MB Local woman Mrs. Froese just moved to town from Jantsied and decided to spend her Saturday afternoon running a few errands. “I asked Mrs. Penner where yet is the Em See See and […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man to Gift Entire Province with Smell of Money

September 9, 2026

BLUMENORT, MB Mr. Penner has been hitting the fields in earnest this week spreading the smell of money all across the RM of Hanover and beyond. “I got half my field spread with the smell […]

Unger Conviction

  • GCer Wins Safe Passage Through Treacherous Fraser Valley Full of MBers
    April 21, 2022
  • Dozens of Mennonites Take Ill On Stale Communion Crackers
    July 21, 2025
  • “People just keep coming forward”: ‘Just As I Am’ Played Continuously Since 1967
    November 10, 2020

Unger & Thirst

  • Innovative New Packaging Only Openable with Teeth
    September 17, 2025
  • Shoplifter Donates Robin Hood Flour to the Poor
    December 3, 2020
  • Mennonite Couple Covered in Flour After Things Get Frisky in the Kitchen
    December 6, 2018

Unger the Influence

  • Carney Just One MP Resignation Away From Minority Government the People Voted For
    May 29, 2026
  • Carney to Raze 72 Million Acres of Old Growth Forest to Make Copies of Guilbeault’s Resignation Letter
    May 27, 2026
  • Trump Really Excited About New $1.8 Billion Slush Fund
    May 20, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Tabloid Reports Corny Rempel Sightings at Local Gas Station
    February 18, 2020
  • What’s the 2023 Low German Word of the Year?
    November 28, 2023
  • Mennonite Uncle Barred from Thanksgiving Gathering after Forgetting His ID and Vax Card
    October 10, 2021
  • Facebook Debate About ‘Eternal Security’ Results in the Condemnation of Millions
    April 19, 2019

Trending

  • Mennonite Man Introduces Japanese A5 Wagyu Jreewe
    August 30, 2026
  • Winkler Attempts to Rename Morden
    August 29, 2026
  • Mennonite Child Suspended for Speaking Low German at Recess
    August 28, 2026
  • Toddler Demands Lake Ontario Be Renamed Lake Poopy Pants
    August 27, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Mennonite Superhero ‘Barkman’ Saves the Day!
    September 4, 2019
  • Area Man Spends 5 Hours Trying to Find the End of a Roll of Tape
    September 5, 2023
  • Winnipeg Man Stuck 15 Years At Train Crossing
    May 7, 2024
  • “Man does not live by bread alone”: Loblaws CEO Galen Weston Quotes Jesus to Defend Price-Fixing Scheme
    July 25, 2024
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New UN Map Finally Shows Paraguay At Its Actual Size

September 8, 2026

Prime Minister, Bryan Adams Share Roll Kuchen in Altona

September 5, 2026

Mennonite Man Takes 5 Hours to Pass Semi

September 3, 2026

Mennonite Woman in Existential Crisis at Grocery Store

September 2, 2026

Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights

September 1, 2026

Unger Games

  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026
  • Massive Simon Hildebrandt Statue Appears Outside MBCI
    August 16, 2026
  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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