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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Finally Takes Off His Winter Tires

May 4, 2026

AYLMER, ON Mr. Todd Driedger of Aylmer is always the last one in all of Aylmer, Ontario to switch over to his summer tires. “I could tell Daisy was ready for a change,” said Driedger, […]

Unger the Influence

James Comey Indicted Over ‘606 47’ Seashell Photo

May 3, 2026

WASHINGTON, DC Former FBI director James Comey was indicted this week after posting a photo of seashells that had been arranged to spell ‘606 47.’ “You know what that means?” said President Trump. “Quite frankly […]

Unger Conviction

  • Church Dismantles Department of Sunday School Education, Citing High Cost of Flannelgraph Boards
    March 25, 2025
  • New Edition of ‘Martyrs Mirror’ to Include Section on Minor Inconveniences Facing the Modern North American Church
    November 30, 2020
  • Mennonites Excited to Have a Brand New Pope to Disregard
    May 8, 2025

Unger & Thirst

  • Conservative Mennonite Church Approves Drinking Bud Light ‘Since it’s Not Really Beer Anyway’
    January 6, 2018
  • Cousin Ernie Snags the ‘Obraumtje’ Yet Again
    August 17, 2019
  • Mennonite Man Comes Home with the Wrong Old Dutch
    November 17, 2022

Unger the Influence

  • Funk and Penner Endorse Penner for Goertzen’s Job Reports Peters from Reimer
    March 1, 2026
  • US Launches Major Attack on the Epstein Files
    February 28, 2026
  • James Talarico Article Pulled from the Unger Review
    February 19, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • ‘Mennonite Pickers’ Find Treasure Trove at Local Dump
    February 24, 2017
  • Rules for Dating My Mennonite Daughter
    October 16, 2017
  • Mennonite Man Finally Finishes ‘Peace Shall Destroy Many’
    May 18, 2017
  • Gangs of Rebellious Seniors Invade Steinbach on Their ‘Kick Ass Harleys’
    April 8, 2017

Trending

  • Mennonite Town Implements Needle Exchange Program for Knitting-Addicted Grandmas
    April 25, 2026
  • Morden Man Sets Up Corn Stand Early This Year
    April 24, 2026
  • Mr. Hamm to Return to Ancestral Name of Mr. Schinkjefleisch
    April 23, 2026
  • Mr. Harms Promises He Won’t Hurt Anybody
    April 22, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Ford to Stop Producing Mennonite Buggies
    April 27, 2018
  • Vegas Knights to Fold and Be Replaced With Massive ‘Game of Thrones’ Show
    June 7, 2018
  • Elon Musk Tops Forbes List of “America’s Favourite Oligarchs”
    March 12, 2022
  • Tom Cochrane Will Attempt to Get Mennonites to Sing Along to Rock Songs Tonight
    June 17, 2017
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Hog Farmers Concerned as Manitoba Seeks to Ban AI

May 2, 2026

Mennonite Woman’s Algorithm Nothing But Vereniki

May 1, 2026

King Charles: “White House Dinner Not as Delicious as the Vereniki I Had in Steinbach Back in 1970”

April 30, 2026

Cuauhtémoc Selected as 2026 World Cup Host City

April 29, 2026

Mennonite Man Takes Home Top Prize at Annual ‘Humility Awards’

April 27, 2026

Unger Games

  • Taber Arena Will No Longer Be Flooded With Schmaunt Fat After Winning Kraft Hockeyville
    April 5, 2026
  • Peters “Makes It to First Base” Giving Hope to Young Men Across Winkler
    April 4, 2026
  • Jason Kelce Spotted on Manitoba Farm in Full Mennonite Attire
    March 11, 2026
  • American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey
    February 26, 2026
  • Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal
    February 25, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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