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Unger the Influence

White House Reinstates Day to Honour Guy Who Directed ‘Home Alone’

October 13, 2026

WASHINGTON, DC The White House announced this week that they were sick and tired of people changing the names of things all the time and so would be returning the day to honour the guy […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Arrested for Buying Her Pumpkin Pie at Costco

October 12, 2026

SASKATOON, SK Area woman Anne Froese, 71, has been taken into custody by Saskatoon policy this weekend after it was discovered she had tried to pass off a Costco pumpkin pie as her own. “When […]

Unger Conviction

  • Three Mennonites Hospitalized After Brutal Drive-By Shunning
    December 7, 2016
  • Mennonite Man Wears His Very Best Carhartt to Church
    April 12, 2026
  • Elon Musk Buys Mennonite Church, Appoints Himself Pastor
    November 2, 2022

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Woman Enjoys Delicious Steaming Cup of Pripps
    December 11, 2019
  • Mennonite Woman Feeds Entire Family on Costco Hot Dogs
    December 19, 2023
  • Squeaky Cheese Curds Heard a Mile Away
    May 6, 2019

Unger the Influence

  • Toddler Demands Lake Ontario Be Renamed Lake Poopy Pants
    August 27, 2026
  • Trump Threatens to Rename Lake Winnipeg if Wab Kinew Doesn’t Stop Saying Mean Things About Him
    August 25, 2026
  • Prince Edward Island Becomes Accidental Target of White House Anti-DEI Campaign
    July 28, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Long Lost Cousin Goes Up During Freiwilliges and Ruins the Whole Thing
    July 17, 2019
  • Aging Mennonites Switch from Dutch Blitz to Skip Bo
    May 1, 2022
  • CBS Airs New Show ‘The Amazing Race: Quarantine Edition’
    April 22, 2020
  • Peter Reimer Comes From A Long Line of Peter Reimers
    November 17, 2021

Trending

  • Connor Hellebuyck Leads League With Impressive 0.00 GAA So Far This Season
    October 5, 2026
  • Trump Promises Mennonites $5000 Worth of Bubbat if They Vote Republican
    October 3, 2026
  • Police Raid Home Suspected of Hosting Wild All-Night Tupperware Party
    October 2, 2026
  • AI Claims It Won’t Kill All Humans and There’s Nothing to Worry About
    September 27, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Bob Dylan Set to Release “Even Slower Train Coming” Album
    June 1, 2016
  • Ken Ham and Kent Hovind to Guest Star in Series Finale of ‘The Big Bang Theory’
    September 2, 2018
  • Lindsey “Loewen” Reveals We’ve Been Spelling and Saying Her Name Wrong the Whole Time
    February 23, 2022
  • The Best Mennonite Pop Culture References
    May 7, 2018
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Albertans to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Separation

October 11, 2026

Pentagon Introduces New “Firing Squad” Video Game for Kids

October 10, 2026

FIFA Awards Donald Trump Nobel Prize for Literature

October 8, 2026

Massive E-Scooter Outbreak Strikes Southern Manitoba

October 7, 2026

British Columbians Can’t Decide Which Mennonite to Vote For

October 6, 2026

Unger Games

  • Connor Hellebuyck Leads League With Impressive 0.00 GAA So Far This Season
    October 5, 2026
  • Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg
    September 24, 2026
  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026
  • Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’
    September 13, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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