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Unger Suspicion

Police Raid Home Suspected of Hosting Wild All-Night Tupperware Party

October 2, 2026

GOSHEN, IN More than a dozen Mennonite women were taken into custody last night after police were called to break up the wildest Tupperware party Goshen has ever seen. “We were alerted to the problem […]

Unger Suspicion

AI Claims It Won’t Kill All Humans and There’s Nothing to Worry About

September 27, 2026

SILICON VALLEY, CA After several disturbing reports by AI experts that claimed there was a 10% chance AI would kill us all within 10 years, new studies written by AI show that there’s actually nothing […]

Unger Conviction

  • Thrift Store Sees Huge Surge in Donations Thanks to Tomorrow’s Rapture
    September 22, 2025
  • Why the Church Lobby is Even Better than Tinder!
    September 20, 2017
  • Conservative Mennonite Church Accidentally Elects Female Elder
    March 5, 2017

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Woman Feeds Entire Family on Costco Hot Dogs
    December 19, 2023
  • Pharaoh’s Heart Hardened by Cracklings
    August 20, 2016
  • Mennonite Prophet Turns Wine Into Water
    May 12, 2017

Unger the Influence

  • Trump Calls Andrew Unger “Untalented, Totally Not Funny,” Demands Cancellation of The Unger Review
    May 31, 2026
  • Trump to “Completely Destroy” Military He “Completely Destroyed” Last Week
    May 30, 2026
  • Carney Just One MP Resignation Away From Minority Government the People Voted For
    May 29, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Heated Political Discussion Leads to Brawl at Friesen Thanksgiving Gathering
    October 13, 2019
  • Area Cyclists Shocked By the Presence of Pedestrians on the Sidewalk
    July 21, 2016
  • Meet Jessica, Winkler Area’s First Newborn Calf of 2017
    January 5, 2017
  • Library to Place Warning Labels on Edgy Mennonite Lit
    November 27, 2023

Trending

  • Ed Sheeran Drops Mennonite Choir from North American Tour
    September 19, 2026
  • Australian Pastor Apologizes, Says He Shouldn’t Have Preached Hourlong Sermon with Diarrhea
    September 18, 2026
  • Frugal Mennonites Excited for the Permanent Daylight Savings
    September 17, 2026
  • Carney Sends Mennonite Delegates to Negotiate with the EU
    September 16, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Mennonite Man Sent To Unclog Space Toilet
    April 7, 2026
  • Meet Lisa, the One Person in All of Manitoba Who Doesn’t Have Covid Right Now
    April 30, 2022
  • Morden Honours Local Star Loreena McKennitt with Totally Epic Corn Maze
    August 25, 2018
  • Newlyweds Excited to Rip Each Other’s Masks Off in the Hotel Room Later Today
    September 15, 2021
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Hundreds of Legal Potash Dispensaries to Open in Saskatchewan

September 26, 2026

Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg

September 24, 2026

Left Lane Between Steinbach and Blumenort to be Designated “Slow Minivan Lane”

September 22, 2026

Electrician Busy Explaining to Concerned Mennonites what ‘AC/DC’ Really Means

September 21, 2026

Mennonite Woman Ruins Perfectly Good Cinnamon Buns By Adding Raisins

September 20, 2026

Unger Games

  • Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg
    September 24, 2026
  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026
  • Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’
    September 13, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026
  • Massive Simon Hildebrandt Statue Appears Outside MBCI
    August 16, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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