The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger
Unger & Thirst

Planes Grounded Nationwide After Mennonite Woman Attempts to Carry On Suitcase Full of Farmer Sausage

November 14, 2026

FREEMAN, SD Mrs. Deirdre Giesbrecht was hauled aside by airport security this afternoon after attempting to board the plane with farmer sausage in her carry-on luggage. “Oba nay! Waut de schissjat!” declared Mrs. Giesbrecht, who […]

Unger Games

Winnipeg Restaurant Bans Connor Hellebuyck and All Other Children Under 15

November 12, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB A popular new restaurant in Winnipeg drew international attention this week after barring all children under 15, including former Jets goalie Connor Hellebuyck. “We’re banning children or anyone who acts like a child,” […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Pastor Schedules Mandatory Church Meeting During Game 7
    June 22, 2024
  • Calvinist Spies Hack Mennonite Church Board Election
    January 16, 2017
  • Mennonite Pastor Asks for Standing Desk, Told He Already Has One
    April 30, 2018

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Prophet Turns Wine Into Water
    May 12, 2017
  • Manitoba Hit with Worst Blizzard in Decades
    April 13, 2022
  • Irish Mennonites Celebrate St. Patrick’s Day With Green Perogies
    March 17, 2017

Unger the Influence

  • White House Reinstates Day to Honour Guy Who Directed ‘Home Alone’
    October 13, 2026
  • Albertans to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Separation
    October 11, 2026
  • Pentagon Introduces New “Firing Squad” Video Game for Kids
    October 10, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Young Man on Life Support after Dangerous Game of Russian Mennonite Roulette
    August 3, 2017
  • Jantsied Extends Border Closure with Ditsied
    December 17, 2020
  • Mennonite Woman Under the Impression that Opening a Few Windows Will Cool Things Down in Here
    June 23, 2022
  • Mennonite Man Lives the Exact Same Day Over and Over and Over
    February 2, 2017

Trending

  • Historic Comeback Gives Winnipeg Jets Control of House and Senate
    November 4, 2026
  • Winnipeg Man Absolutely Exhausted Due to Lack of Time Change
    November 3, 2026
  • Winkler to Set Clocks One Hour Ahead of Morden
    November 1, 2026
  • Winnipeg Couple Dress as Country’s Scariest Creature: Canada Geese
    October 31, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Anti-Pantsers Demand Their Constitutional Rights
    September 13, 2021
  • What Happens When a Mennonite Replies to an Email Scammer? (This is for Real)
    December 6, 2017
  • Family Manages to Get On a Record Three Rides During Weeklong Trip to Disney
    April 6, 2026
  • Monsieur Hebert is Sick and Tired of Being Called “Mr. Hiebert”
    January 11, 2021
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

Mennonite Farm Boy to Fill In For Connor Hellebuyck Tonight

November 10, 2026

Angry Winnipeggers Demand Local Restaurant Installs Giant Animatronic Mouse to Entertain the Kids

November 9, 2026

Steinbachers Starve for Lack of Fast Food Chains

November 8, 2026

Wab Kinew Accidentally Sets Manitoba on Permanent Summer

November 7, 2026

Mennonite Man Takes 28 Years to Walk from Winkler to Morden

November 5, 2026

Unger Games

  • Winnipeg Restaurant Bans Connor Hellebuyck and All Other Children Under 15
    November 12, 2026
  • Historic Comeback Gives Winnipeg Jets Control of House and Senate
    November 4, 2026
  • Mennonite Couple Make Sure to Eat at Home Before Jets Game
    October 30, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Leads League With Impressive 0.00 GAA So Far This Season
    October 5, 2026
  • Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg
    September 24, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved