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Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Grandma Punishes Grandkids By Making Them Chew Thrills Gum

August 4, 2026

MITCHELL, MB Local grandma Mrs. Agnes Wiebe, 72, unleashed the harshest punishment known to Mennonites this week by making her misbehaving grandkids chew a piece of soap-flavoured Thrills gum for a full fifteen minutes. “I […]

The Daily Bonnet

Rhubarb Discovered on Mennonite Woman’s Vereniki

August 3, 2026

KLEEFELD, MB Mrs. Koop of Kleefeld had to be rushed to the hospital this week after she over-exerted herself trying to get more rhubarb on her vereniki. “I’m doing okay now, but it was the […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Man Nails ’95 Theses’ to the Door of Local Church
    November 11, 2016
  • Pastor Breaks Down, Admits Entire Sermon Was Just Fake News
    November 23, 2017
  • Mennonites Excited to Have a Brand New Pope to Disregard
    May 8, 2025

Unger & Thirst

  • MennoCon23 Attendee Caught Skipping Session to Get BBQ
    July 5, 2023
  • Mennonite Woman Bids Fond Farewell to Future Farmer Sausage
    July 26, 2023
  • Mennonite Seniors Rush to Grab Free Eggplants in Lobby
    October 10, 2023

Unger the Influence

  • Trump Really Excited About New $1.8 Billion Slush Fund
    May 20, 2026
  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Top Five Ways to Fight Oma Krahn
    January 8, 2022
  • Top Ten Things to Expect Now that a Steinbacher is in Charge
    September 1, 2021
  • Mennonite Lady Calls Into ‘Trading Post’ Every Day for Thirty Years
    February 28, 2018
  • Library to Place Warning Labels on Edgy Mennonite Lit
    November 27, 2023

Trending

  • Winnipeg’s Population Surpasses 850,000 Friesens
    July 27, 2026
  • Mennonite Family Wastes Entire Vacation Visiting Relatives
    July 26, 2026
  • Southern Manitoba Transitions from Agricultural-Based Economy to Wedding Venue-Based Economy
    July 25, 2026
  • Mennonite Aunt Shocked To Discover She’s Been Excluded From Family Group Chat This Whole Time
    July 24, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Shocking Video Emerges of Politician Not Being a Complete Douche
    September 20, 2019
  • Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez a Big Hit on Hutterite Colony
    February 18, 2019
  • New Biopic Reveals Freddie Mercury’s ‘Secret Wild Mennonite Life’
    February 16, 2019
  • Presents from Santa Delayed Until March this Year
    November 27, 2024
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8 Women Show Up to Claim Prize After Mary Unrau’s Name Called in Raffle Draw

August 2, 2026

Jeff Bridges, John Goodman Reunite for ‘The Big Sawatzky’

August 1, 2026

Mr. Penner Flicks For Triple Word Score

July 31, 2026

Chihuahua Airport Offers New Lounge Just For Mennonite Grandmas

July 30, 2026

Prince Edward Island Becomes Accidental Target of White House Anti-DEI Campaign

July 28, 2026

Unger Games

  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026
  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026
  • Canada Loses to Morocco After Not Getting Enough Pucks to the Net
    July 5, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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