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The Daily Bonnet

Winnipeg Couple Dress as Country’s Scariest Creature: Canada Geese

October 31, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB First time trick-or-treaters Pete and Linda Siemens of North Kildonan had heard you were supposed to dress as something really really scary for Halloween. “So, naturally, we dressed as the scariest creature in […]

Unger Games

Mennonite Couple Make Sure to Eat at Home Before Jets Game

October 30, 2026

ALTONA, MB When the Friesens of Altona got free nosebleed tickets to the Jets game this week, they were put in quite the predicament. “Looks like we’re going to have to pre-game it,” said Susie, […]

Unger Conviction

  • Local Old Colony Church Experiments with Overhead Projector
    April 19, 2018
  • Streaker Disrupts Mennonite Church Service
    June 6, 2017
  • Mennonite Preacher Encourages Young People to ‘Hover Hand’
    August 15, 2018

Unger & Thirst

  • Winkler Man Caught at Morden Bar
    May 1, 2017
  • Mrs. Kehler Tries to Pass Off Store Bought Tomatoes as Garden Tomatoes
    September 12, 2019
  • Mennonites Excited that Parliament is Perogied Until March
    January 8, 2025

Unger the Influence

  • Albertans to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Separation
    October 11, 2026
  • Pentagon Introduces New “Firing Squad” Video Game for Kids
    October 10, 2026
  • British Columbians Can’t Decide Which Mennonite to Vote For
    October 6, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mrs. Reimer Still Refers to Mrs. Ens as a “Russlander”
    April 5, 2019
  • The Most Popular Daily Bonnet Articles of 2020
    December 31, 2020
  • Chaos Erupts After Pooper Scooper is Confused for BBQ Tongs
    May 22, 2017
  • Mennonite Woman Amasses World’s Largest Collection of Plastic Bags
    July 19, 2022

Trending

  • Edmonton Mennonites Big Fans of Mayor Knack-Zoat
    October 22, 2026
  • Roundup Introduces New Product to Eliminate Election Signs in Your Yard
    October 21, 2026
  • Mennonite Church’s Annual ‘Costume and Candy Party’ Eerily Similar to Halloween
    October 19, 2026
  • Mennonites Encouraged to Get Out and Vogt
    October 18, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Philippines to Canada: “We Don’t Want Your Trash!”
    May 29, 2019
  • Alberta Premier Calls Shirtless Dude at 7-11 “Most Persecuted Man in All of Human History”
    October 13, 2022
  • AOL Ends Dial-Up Internet Mere Days After Mennonite Man Signed Up For It
    August 13, 2025
  • NBC Gives New ‘Friends’ Reboot a Mennonite Twist
    March 27, 2019
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City’s Top Chef Mortified to Discover His ‘Charcuterie Board’ is Just Glorified Faspa

October 29, 2026

Person Under 70 Shocks Community By Voting

October 28, 2026

Elizabeth Holmes Takes On Trajchtmoaka Job in Winkler

October 26, 2026

Mennonite Beats Mennonite with Votes from Mennonites

October 25, 2026

Winnipeg Mayoral Candidate Accidentally Uses Pictures of Winkler

October 23, 2026

Unger Games

  • Mennonite Couple Make Sure to Eat at Home Before Jets Game
    October 30, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Leads League With Impressive 0.00 GAA So Far This Season
    October 5, 2026
  • Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg
    September 24, 2026
  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026
  • Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’
    September 13, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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