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Unger the Influence

Mennonites Hired to Drain the Strait of Hormuz

March 17, 2026

OMAN Oil tankers may once again have free passageway through the Strait of Hormuz after the United Nations has brought in world’s top experts on draining swamps – the Mennonites. “They did it in Friesland, […]

Unger Suspicion

Ben Heppner and Howard Dyck to Take on Timothee Chalamet in High Stakes Prize Fight

March 16, 2026

HOLLYWOOD, CA After actor Timothee Chalamet stirred up controversy across the arts community this week for his dismissive comments about ballet and opera, boxing promoters have offered a $50 million prize to see Chalamet enter […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Couple Come Late to Church and Have to Settle for Front Row
    April 17, 2019
  • Mennonite Pastor Forbids Standing in Church, Claims it ‘Leads to Dancing’
    May 26, 2017
  • Cold Reception in Church Lobby Sparks New Ice Age
    July 16, 2018

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Couple Spends Romantic Evening at Applebee’s
    October 6, 2021
  • A Daily Bonnet Travel Guide to Manitoba Mennonite Country
    June 15, 2017
  • Mennonite Family to Survive on Last Sunday’s Leftovers for the Next Two Years
    October 14, 2018

Unger the Influence

  • Premiers Gather in Saskatoon for Annual Crokinole Tournament
    January 29, 2026
  • “Up is Down” and “Down is Up” New Report Suggests
    January 26, 2026
  • GTA Prepares for Largest Deposit of Snow Since the Rob Ford Administration
    January 25, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Abbotsford Family Instantly Regrets Agreeing to Spring Break in Manitoba This Year
    April 1, 2022
  • Mennonite Scrapbooker Documents Literally Every Second of Family’s Life For the Past Two Decades
    May 18, 2019
  • Winkler, Manitoba to Officially be Renamed ‘Vankler’
    November 19, 2016
  • Mennonite Woman Practices Walking on Eggshells for Upcoming Family Gatherings
    December 1, 2021

Trending

  • Conservatives Vote to Reaffirm Party Leader Mark Carney
    March 6, 2026
  • High Valley Fills Winnipeg Theatre Entirely with Rempels
    March 5, 2026
  • World War III Finally Gives Mennonites the Chance to be Conscientious Objectors Again
    March 4, 2026
  • Frugal BC Mennonites Excited for the Permanent Daylight Savings
    March 3, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Mennonite Church Boycotts ‘Sexy Centennial’ Celebrations
    July 1, 2017
  • Justin Trudeau Makes Official Visit to Mennonite Church Wearing Rubber Boots and Suspenders
    March 6, 2018
  • Tories Target Mennonite Voters with Dutch Blitz-Themed Attack Ads
    October 2, 2023
  • Area Man Spends 5 Hours Trying to Find the End of a Roll of Tape
    September 5, 2023
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Top 10 Mennonite Movies of the Year

March 14, 2026

Subway Opens in La Broquerie

March 12, 2026

Jason Kelce Spotted on Manitoba Farm in Full Mennonite Attire

March 11, 2026

Schmaunt Fat Soars to $100 a Barrel

March 10, 2026

McDonald’s CEO Reluctantly Tries New Vereniki Product

March 8, 2026

Unger Games

  • Jason Kelce Spotted on Manitoba Farm in Full Mennonite Attire
    March 11, 2026
  • American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey
    February 26, 2026
  • Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal
    February 25, 2026
  • Carney to Melt Down All of Canada’s Unwanted Olympic Medals to Build High Speed Rail Line
    February 24, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Reassures Jets Fans He Won’t Ever Play That Well Again
    February 23, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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