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Unger Games

Donald Trump Tells Iran He Holds All the Cards

May 13, 2026

WASHINGTON, DC In his most emphatic statement to date, US President Donald Trump has told Iranian authorities to give up because he holds all the Dutch Blitz cards. “I’ve got all the cards. All the […]

Unger Suspicion

90-Year-Old Grandma Emerges Victorious in Senior Assassin 2026

May 12, 2026

ALTONA, MB Mrs. Dorothy Wiebe of Altona was the last senior in town not to get sprayed with a water gun this week and has been crowned winner of Senior Assassin 2026. “I knew they […]

Unger Conviction

  • Why the Church Lobby is Even Better than Tinder!
    September 20, 2017
  • Mennonite Pastors Release New ‘Tracing App’ that Tracks How Much Time You’ve Spent Reading the Bible
    May 30, 2020
  • Mennonite Church Accidentally Performs First Ever Infant Baptism
    September 20, 2016

Unger & Thirst

  • Everyone’s Grandma is the Very Best Cook in the Entire World
    August 30, 2019
  • Craft Beer Snob Ruins Church Men’s Fishing Weekend By Bringing Nothing But Really Bitter IPAs
    June 28, 2019
  • Mrs. Janzen’s Day Old Buns a Big Hit with Frugal Mennonites
    June 7, 2020

Unger the Influence

  • Mennonites Hired to Drain the Strait of Hormuz
    March 17, 2026
  • Conservatives Vote to Reaffirm Party Leader Mark Carney
    March 6, 2026
  • Funk and Penner Endorse Penner for Goertzen’s Job Reports Peters from Reimer
    March 1, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonites Eye New Colony in Antarctica
    October 3, 2017
  • Mennonite Uncle Barred from Thanksgiving Gathering after Forgetting His ID and Vax Card
    October 10, 2021
  • Canadians Heartbroken After American Crokinole Squad Defeats Team Canada in Shootout
    February 23, 2018
  • Missing Knipser Finally Found
    September 23, 2018

Trending

  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026
  • Mennonite Man Finally Takes Off His Winter Tires
    May 4, 2026
  • James Comey Indicted Over ‘606 47’ Seashell Photo
    May 3, 2026
  • Hog Farmers Concerned as Manitoba Seeks to Ban AI
    May 2, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Kirk Cameron Reaffirms Belief in ‘Eternal Conscious Torment’ After Sitting Through One of His Own Movies
    December 11, 2025
  • Like and Share if You Think People Should Stop Indicating their Agreement by Liking and Sharing
    September 5, 2018
  • Stash of Spare Prince Harry Books Donated to Local Thrift Store
    January 14, 2023
  • Manitoba Hill Masquerades as “Mountain”
    July 12, 2020
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Mennonite Man Sets Record for Tallest Bowl at Mongo’s Grill

May 10, 2026

Nationwide Cottage Cheese Shortage Causes Mennonites to Compromise Cherished Values for First Time Ever

May 9, 2026

Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”

May 8, 2026

Mennonite Man Doesn’t Have Enough Space on Census Form to List All His Kids

May 7, 2026

Tariffs Move Leafs’ Pick from First to Sixty-Seventh

May 6, 2026

Unger Games

  • Donald Trump Tells Iran He Holds All the Cards
    May 13, 2026
  • Tariffs Move Leafs’ Pick from First to Sixty-Seventh
    May 6, 2026
  • Taber Arena Will No Longer Be Flooded With Schmaunt Fat After Winning Kraft Hockeyville
    April 5, 2026
  • Peters “Makes It to First Base” Giving Hope to Young Men Across Winkler
    April 4, 2026
  • Jason Kelce Spotted on Manitoba Farm in Full Mennonite Attire
    March 11, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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