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Unger Games

Mennonite Mom Forces Olympians to Split Medals into Pieces and Share with their Brothers and Sisters

February 9, 2026

MILAN, ITALY After a thorough investigation, researches have finally uncovered the reason why so many Olympic medals were found to be broken this weekend: Mrs. Esther Brandt of Rosenort. “She was going around and making […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Choir to Perform at Extra-Alternative Halftime Show

February 8, 2026

FRESNO, CA For those looking for an alternative halftime show to either Bad Bunny or Kid Rock, the Fresno Central Mennonite Church is inviting guests to listen to their choir this afternoon. “We felt that […]

Unger Conviction

  • Canadian Hockey Fans Boo Hymn 606
    February 10, 2025
  • An Anglican Church is Now the Largest Mennonite Church in Winnipeg
    October 12, 2023
  • Local Congregation Installs Gender Neutral Church Pews
    July 12, 2016

Unger & Thirst

  • Frantic Mennonites Stockpile Hand Sanitizer, Toilet Paper, and Farmer Sausage
    March 8, 2020
  • Three Hours Later, Mennonite Man Still Working on that Piece of Chokecherry Pie
    August 12, 2018
  • “Immodest” Mennonite Woman Leaves Her Zwieback Out for All to See
    August 30, 2020

Unger the Influence

  • Ottawa Disappointed with Gun Buyback Program in Mennonite Country
    January 11, 2026
  • Zwaagstra Vows to Continue Goertzen’s Legacy of Giving Andrew Unger Plenty of Material
    January 8, 2026
  • US Troops Accidentally Seize One of Those Oil and Vinegar Tasting Rooms
    January 5, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Fans Ruin Winnipeg Jets Whiteout By Wearing All Black Suits
    April 12, 2018
  • Plautdietsch Ranked as ‘World’s Saxiest Accent’
    April 23, 2021
  • Mennonite Grandma Disappoints Children with Honest Birthday Cards
    February 16, 2020
  • Mennonite Man Creates His Own ‘Stanley Cup’
    January 13, 2024

Trending

  • Area Man to Pretend Super Bowl Actually Matters to Distract Himself from Everything Else Going On in the World Right Now
    January 28, 2026
  • Climber Scales Credit Union Building Without Safety Gear
    January 27, 2026
  • “Up is Down” and “Down is Up” New Report Suggests
    January 26, 2026
  • GTA Prepares for Largest Deposit of Snow Since the Rob Ford Administration
    January 25, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Mennonite Woman Challenges Marie Kondo to Cleaning Competition
    February 17, 2019
  • Elon Musk Launches Buggy Full of Mennonite Elders Into Space
    February 10, 2018
  • Local MP Comes Out as Flat Earther
    August 9, 2021
  • Local Paper Candidate Asking for Your Vote on Monday
    October 20, 2019
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Canada to Field Olympic Team Entirely Made Up of Friesens and Froeses

February 6, 2026

Minnesota to be Renamed ‘Manitoba South’

February 3, 2026

George Washington Completely “Absolved” in New Epstein Files

February 1, 2026

Theatres Empty for New Documentary About My Taunte Lina

January 31, 2026

Premiers Gather in Saskatoon for Annual Crokinole Tournament

January 29, 2026

Unger Games

  • Mennonite Mom Forces Olympians to Split Medals into Pieces and Share with their Brothers and Sisters
    February 9, 2026
  • Mennonite Choir to Perform at Extra-Alternative Halftime Show
    February 8, 2026
  • Canada to Field Olympic Team Entirely Made Up of Friesens and Froeses
    February 6, 2026
  • Premiers Gather in Saskatoon for Annual Crokinole Tournament
    January 29, 2026
  • Area Man to Pretend Super Bowl Actually Matters to Distract Himself from Everything Else Going On in the World Right Now
    January 28, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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