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Unger Games

Jason Kelce Spotted on Manitoba Farm in Full Mennonite Attire

March 11, 2026

RIVERTON, MB Days after arriving in Manitoba to film his latest movie, Taylor Swift’s inlaw Jason Kelce has decided to retire to a simpler life on the farm. “I realized that Hollywood is not for […]

Unger & Thirst

Schmaunt Fat Soars to $100 a Barrel

March 10, 2026

LEAMINGTON, ON When the Leamington Exchange ended trading on Monday, the price of schmaunt fat closed at a record high of $106.06 a barrel, smashing the previous record. As a result of soaring schmaunt fat […]

Unger Conviction

  • Four-Part Harmony Slashed to Three After Recent Budget Cuts
    October 25, 2017
  • Mennonite Church Holds Lottery to See Who Can Attend Church this Week
    February 23, 2021
  • Mennonite Pastor Forbids Standing in Church, Claims it ‘Leads to Dancing’
    May 26, 2017

Unger & Thirst

  • Man Who Ate All 183 ‘Burger Week’ Burgers Reveals His Favourite
    September 17, 2023
  • Mennonite Man Subsists Entirely on Free Hot Dogs
    September 18, 2017
  • Fast Food Chain Sells Farmer Sausage Filled with 80% Sawdust
    January 26, 2019

Unger the Influence

  • “Up is Down” and “Down is Up” New Report Suggests
    January 26, 2026
  • GTA Prepares for Largest Deposit of Snow Since the Rob Ford Administration
    January 25, 2026
  • Every American School to be Supplied with their Very Own Dairy Cow
    January 24, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Woman Eager to Tell Everyone About Her Medical History
    September 8, 2021
  • Mennonite Texting Abbreviations: From LOL to WTF
    July 14, 2017
  • Mennonite Man Learns German Just So He Can Keep Up With the News
    December 3, 2023
  • Sydney Sweeney Spotted on Kansas Farm in Full Mennonite Attire
    July 30, 2025

Trending

  • Funk and Penner Endorse Penner for Goertzen’s Job Reports Peters from Reimer
    March 1, 2026
  • US Launches Major Attack on the Epstein Files
    February 28, 2026
  • American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey
    February 26, 2026
  • Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal
    February 25, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Mennonites Shun Patrik Laine For Shaving Off His Beard
    May 28, 2018
  • Sad Lonely Canadian Man Still Watching Hockey for Some Reason
    May 1, 2019
  • Dating Couple to Spend Romantic Evening Basking in the Aroma of the Maple Leaf Plant
    November 18, 2025
  • Anti-Pantsers Demand Their Constitutional Rights
    September 13, 2021
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McDonald’s CEO Reluctantly Tries New Vereniki Product

March 8, 2026

Conservatives Vote to Reaffirm Party Leader Mark Carney

March 6, 2026

High Valley Fills Winnipeg Theatre Entirely with Rempels

March 5, 2026

World War III Finally Gives Mennonites the Chance to be Conscientious Objectors Again

March 4, 2026

Frugal BC Mennonites Excited for the Permanent Daylight Savings

March 3, 2026

Unger Games

  • Jason Kelce Spotted on Manitoba Farm in Full Mennonite Attire
    March 11, 2026
  • American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey
    February 26, 2026
  • Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal
    February 25, 2026
  • Carney to Melt Down All of Canada’s Unwanted Olympic Medals to Build High Speed Rail Line
    February 24, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Reassures Jets Fans He Won’t Ever Play That Well Again
    February 23, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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