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Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Arrested for Buying Her Pumpkin Pie at Costco

October 12, 2026

SASKATOON, SK Area woman Anne Froese, 71, has been taken into custody by Saskatoon policy this weekend after it was discovered she had tried to pass off a Costco pumpkin pie as her own. “When […]

Unger the Influence

Albertans to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Separation

October 11, 2026

EDMONTON, AB A referendum later this month will have Albertans voting on whether they should vote on if they should vote on if they should vote on separation. “We tried to make things as clear […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Woman Sings So Beautifully Out Her Nose
    December 27, 2024
  • Winkler Church to Install Roundabout in Parking Lot
    August 10, 2017
  • Faith Healer Offers Monthly Payment Plan
    January 10, 2025

Unger & Thirst

  • Chihuahua Faspa Cancelled After Oma Runs Out of Queso Menonita
    August 29, 2020
  • Adorable Mennonite Child Becomes Millionaire Selling Chocolates to Old People
    March 25, 2018
  • Pennsylvania Mennonite Man Blows Entire Stimulus Check on Pig’s Head Scrapple
    April 7, 2020

Unger the Influence

  • Trump Threatens to Rename Lake Winnipeg if Wab Kinew Doesn’t Stop Saying Mean Things About Him
    August 25, 2026
  • Prince Edward Island Becomes Accidental Target of White House Anti-DEI Campaign
    July 28, 2026
  • Vandals Caddyshack the Reflecting Pool
    June 26, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Man Refuses to Watch ‘Women Talking’ but Really Loves ‘12 Angry Men’
    March 18, 2023
  • Blumenort to Hire New P.R. Team
    June 24, 2020
  • Englisher So Hairy He’s Mistaken for a Mennonite
    April 17, 2020
  • New Program Seeks to End Promiscuity at Old Folks Home
    July 19, 2017

Trending

  • Trump Promises Mennonites $5000 Worth of Bubbat if They Vote Republican
    October 3, 2026
  • Police Raid Home Suspected of Hosting Wild All-Night Tupperware Party
    October 2, 2026
  • AI Claims It Won’t Kill All Humans and There’s Nothing to Worry About
    September 27, 2026
  • Hundreds of Legal Potash Dispensaries to Open in Saskatchewan
    September 26, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • New Jurassic Park Movie Climaxes with Explosive Debate in Morden Over Existence of Dinosaurs
    July 27, 2025
  • Katy Perry Attempts to Make Out with the Wrong Prime Minister
    October 13, 2025
  • Trump Threatens to Rename Lake Winnipeg if Wab Kinew Doesn’t Stop Saying Mean Things About Him
    August 25, 2026
  • Canadian Football League to Add Third Team Named ‘Rough Riders’
    June 21, 2017
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Pentagon Introduces New “Firing Squad” Video Game for Kids

October 10, 2026

FIFA Awards Donald Trump Nobel Prize for Literature

October 8, 2026

Massive E-Scooter Outbreak Strikes Southern Manitoba

October 7, 2026

British Columbians Can’t Decide Which Mennonite to Vote For

October 6, 2026

Connor Hellebuyck Leads League With Impressive 0.00 GAA So Far This Season

October 5, 2026

Unger Games

  • Connor Hellebuyck Leads League With Impressive 0.00 GAA So Far This Season
    October 5, 2026
  • Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg
    September 24, 2026
  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026
  • Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’
    September 13, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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