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Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Ruins Perfectly Good Cinnamon Buns By Adding Raisins

September 20, 2026

ALTONA, MB Area woman Theresa Bueckert decided she’d change things up a little and add raisins to her bun dough this week. The results were, as expected, disastrous. “Oba, what was I thinking?” said Mrs. […]

Unger Suspicion

Ed Sheeran Drops Mennonite Choir from North American Tour

September 19, 2026

FOXBOROUGH, MA Soft pop rock singer-songwriter Ed Sheeran has dropped a Mennonite choir from his North American tour after finding out they were pacifists. “I don’t like to get political,” said Sheeran, “but when I […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Pastor Shortens Sermons to 90 Minutes for the Summer Months
    April 22, 2021
  • Mennonite Infant Asks to Be Baptized Upon Confession of Her Faith
    December 17, 2016
  • Mr. Harms Promises He Won’t Hurt Anybody
    April 22, 2026

Unger & Thirst

  • Local Grocery Puts Romaine Lettuce Under Lock and Key
    December 14, 2022
  • Mennonite Man Smokes His Sausage By Just Leaving it Outside for a While
    June 13, 2023
  • New ‘Import Store’ to Sell Bland Canadian Food in Mexico
    November 29, 2023

Unger the Influence

  • Trump Calls Andrew Unger “Untalented, Totally Not Funny,” Demands Cancellation of The Unger Review
    May 31, 2026
  • Trump to “Completely Destroy” Military He “Completely Destroyed” Last Week
    May 30, 2026
  • Carney Just One MP Resignation Away From Minority Government the People Voted For
    May 29, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Family Desperately Tries to Emulate Hallmark Christmas Movie
    December 5, 2021
  • Former Resident Longs to Smell Steinbach Feed Mill One More Time
    September 26, 2016
  • Top 10 Stocking Stuffer Ideas for Mennonites
    December 16, 2022
  • La Crete Couple Spends Wild Weekend in High Level
    March 30, 2026

Trending

  • Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’
    September 13, 2026
  • Premier Wab Kinew Finally Visits Steinbach Just as Every Local Politician is Mysteriously Out of Town
    September 12, 2026
  • Mennonite Woman Mistakes MLCC for MCC
    September 11, 2026
  • Mennonite Man to Gift Entire Province with Smell of Money
    September 9, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • 7 Rock Songs We Should Sing in Church
    November 28, 2017
  • Mennonites Rejoice as NHL Finally Bans Military Appreciation Jerseys
    June 24, 2023
  • Mrs. Reimer to Star in New Remake: “The Bible School Graduate”
    June 26, 2019
  • Quiz: What Do You Know About Quakers?
    January 16, 2018
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Australian Pastor Apologizes, Says He Shouldn’t Have Preached Hourlong Sermon with Diarrhea

September 18, 2026

Frugal Mennonites Excited for the Permanent Daylight Savings

September 17, 2026

Carney Sends Mennonite Delegates to Negotiate with the EU

September 16, 2026

Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team

September 15, 2026

Wab Kinew Returns to Steinbach to Mow the Boulevards

September 14, 2026

Unger Games

  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026
  • Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’
    September 13, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026
  • Massive Simon Hildebrandt Statue Appears Outside MBCI
    August 16, 2026
  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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