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Unger Games

Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’

September 13, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB With echoes of the 97th Grey Cup, the Saskatchewan Roughriders saw their comeback against Winnipeg in the Banjo Bowl stymied after an inopportune ‘Too Many Mennonites’ call. “Too many Mennonites. Saskatchewan,” said head […]

Unger the Influence

Premier Wab Kinew Finally Visits Steinbach Just as Every Local Politician is Mysteriously Out of Town

September 12, 2026

STEINBACH, MB There was not a single local politician available to greet Premier Wab Kinew in Steinbach this afternoon. “I guess they all went to the lake,” said Kinew as he arrived at KR Barkman […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Child Forced to Miss ‘Wonderful World of Disney’ to Attend Evening Service
    June 18, 2021
  • “Freedom-Loving” Pastor Won’t Let Women Wear Pants
    April 30, 2021
  • Mennonite Sect Heads to Toronto to Await the Rapture
    February 25, 2019

Unger & Thirst

  • Thousands Line Up for CMU’s Annual Farmer Sausage Blowout
    April 27, 2023
  • Bean Salad Big Hit at Church Potluck
    December 18, 2024
  • Mennonite Man Denies Having a Beer Belly
    February 1, 2017

Unger the Influence

  • Trump to “Completely Destroy” Military He “Completely Destroyed” Last Week
    May 30, 2026
  • Carney Just One MP Resignation Away From Minority Government the People Voted For
    May 29, 2026
  • Carney to Raze 72 Million Acres of Old Growth Forest to Make Copies of Guilbeault’s Resignation Letter
    May 27, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Man Claims “Natural Immunity to Tipping”
    March 17, 2022
  • Ten Terms No One Knows the Plautdietsch Word For
    January 5, 2018
  • Winnipeg Man Blames the Refs for Every Single Problem in His Life
    April 22, 2019
  • Americans Furious About All-Plautdietsch Halftime Show
    February 10, 2026

Trending

  • Mennonite Woman in Existential Crisis at Grocery Store
    September 2, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026
  • Mennonite Man Introduces Japanese A5 Wagyu Jreewe
    August 30, 2026
  • Winkler Attempts to Rename Morden
    August 29, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Protestors Demand that Taylor Swift Get Around in this 1987 Plymouth
    March 14, 2024
  • Winnipeg Man Gets 20 Years in Prison for Stealing A&W Mug
    March 29, 2019
  • Edmonton Area Pastor Sworn in as New Alberta Health Minister
    April 13, 2021
  • A List of 80s TV Shows Your Mennonite Mom Didn’t Let You Watch
    November 6, 2017
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Mennonite Woman Mistakes MLCC for MCC

September 11, 2026

Mennonite Man to Gift Entire Province with Smell of Money

September 9, 2026

New UN Map Finally Shows Paraguay At Its Actual Size

September 8, 2026

Prime Minister, Bryan Adams Share Roll Kuchen in Altona

September 5, 2026

Mennonite Man Takes 5 Hours to Pass Semi

September 3, 2026

Unger Games

  • Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’
    September 13, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026
  • Massive Simon Hildebrandt Statue Appears Outside MBCI
    August 16, 2026
  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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