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Unger Suspicion

Reitmans Introduces New ‘Angine de Poitrine’ Line

August 9, 2026

MONTREAL, QUEBEC In an effort to appeal to a younger hipper audience, Canadian clothing retailer Reitmans has recently introduced a new Angine de Poitrine line of polka-dotted blouses and skirts. “I never knew Reitmans was […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Fill Copper Wire Shortage By Stretching Pennies

August 8, 2026

WINKLER, MB A recent rash of copper wire thefts has left a huge shortage in the community of Winkler, which has thankfully been filled by a dedicated team of Mennonite volunteers. “We’ve been stretching pennies […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Pastor Digs Up Old Sermon from the 60s to Preach Against New Beatles Song
    November 4, 2023
  • Friendly Bulletins Welcome Lonely Hymnal
    March 21, 2025
  • Young Mennonite Yells ‘OK Boomer’ During Pastor’s Sermon
    November 14, 2019

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Lady Accused of Hoarding Prized Hutterite Chickens
    October 30, 2016
  • Klik Returns to Mennonite Pantries for the First Time in Centuries
    April 4, 2020
  • Mennonite Woman Shocked that No One Starved at Recent Gathering
    December 29, 2022

Unger the Influence

  • Trump Really Excited About New $1.8 Billion Slush Fund
    May 20, 2026
  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Friesens Brings In Extra Friesens to Print that Daily Bonnet Guy’s New Novel
    August 31, 2020
  • Why that Mennonite Boy is Not Texting You Back
    May 9, 2018
  • Mennonite Man ‘Conscientiously Objects’ to Watching the Oscars
    March 28, 2022
  • Mennonites Gather for Nationwide ‘No Krahns’ Protests
    October 19, 2025

Trending

  • Mr. Penner Flicks For Triple Word Score
    July 31, 2026
  • Chihuahua Airport Offers New Lounge Just For Mennonite Grandmas
    July 30, 2026
  • Prince Edward Island Becomes Accidental Target of White House Anti-DEI Campaign
    July 28, 2026
  • Winnipeg’s Population Surpasses 850,000 Friesens
    July 27, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Bargain-Hungry Shoppers Flock to the Wrong Hudson Bay
    March 16, 2025
  • Winnipeg Couple Embark on Arduous High-Altitude Expedition to Second Balcony of Burton Cummings Theatre
    November 20, 2025
  • Public is Shocked to Discover Quakers Are More than Just Oats
    January 4, 2017
  • Vinegar Feeling ‘Severely Neglected’ as Jason Kenney Spends All His Time on Oil
    June 1, 2019
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Steinbach Unveils New Public Transit System

August 5, 2026

Mennonite Grandma Punishes Grandkids By Making Them Chew Thrills Gum

August 4, 2026

Rhubarb Discovered on Mennonite Woman’s Vereniki

August 3, 2026

8 Women Show Up to Claim Prize After Mary Unrau’s Name Called in Raffle Draw

August 2, 2026

Jeff Bridges, John Goodman Reunite for ‘The Big Sawatzky’

August 1, 2026

Unger Games

  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026
  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026
  • Canada Loses to Morocco After Not Getting Enough Pucks to the Net
    July 5, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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