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Unger the Influence

Premier Wab Kinew Finally Visits Steinbach Just as Every Local Politician is Mysteriously Out of Town

September 12, 2026

STEINBACH, MB There was not a single local politician available to greet Premier Wab Kinew in Steinbach this afternoon. “I guess they all went to the lake,” said Kinew as he arrived at KR Barkman […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Mistakes MLCC for MCC

September 11, 2026

WINKLER, MB Local woman Mrs. Froese just moved to town from Jantsied and decided to spend her Saturday afternoon running a few errands. “I asked Mrs. Penner where yet is the Em See See and […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Couple Sits Through 3.5 Hours of Avatar But Can’t Handle 20 Minute Sermon
    January 28, 2023
  • Kirk Cameron Reaffirms Belief in ‘Eternal Conscious Torment’ After Sitting Through One of His Own Movies
    December 11, 2025
  • Mennonite Sect Heads to Toronto to Await the Rapture
    February 25, 2019

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Church Bans ‘Roll Up the Rim’ as Gambling
    March 5, 2018
  • Mennonite Man Regrets Ordering Taco Bell Right Before Church
    December 2, 2022
  • Mennonite to Join ‘Golden Dome’ Program
    May 21, 2025

Unger the Influence

  • Trump to “Completely Destroy” Military He “Completely Destroyed” Last Week
    May 30, 2026
  • Carney Just One MP Resignation Away From Minority Government the People Voted For
    May 29, 2026
  • Carney to Raze 72 Million Acres of Old Growth Forest to Make Copies of Guilbeault’s Resignation Letter
    May 27, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Woman Permanently Stuck in Downward Dog
    June 9, 2018
  • Mennonite Woman Throws Caution to the Wind, Puts Fine China in Dishwasher
    February 26, 2019
  • Family Sells Modest Bungalow in Abbotsford to Live Like Kings in Winnipeg
    September 4, 2022
  • 2018 Daily Bonnet Year in Review
    December 31, 2018

Trending

  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026
  • Mennonite Man Introduces Japanese A5 Wagyu Jreewe
    August 30, 2026
  • Winkler Attempts to Rename Morden
    August 29, 2026
  • Mennonite Child Suspended for Speaking Low German at Recess
    August 28, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Goat Wins Top Prize in Annual Cuteness Awards
    July 1, 2025
  • Quebec Separatists Demand to Take Ste. Anne, Manitoba With Them
    April 18, 2017
  • Single Snowflake Causes Vancouver Schools to Shut Down for ‘Snow Day’
    March 5, 2018
  • Calgary Defeats Winnipeg 5 Bogus Slashing Calls to 3
    February 4, 2021
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Mennonite Man to Gift Entire Province with Smell of Money

September 9, 2026

New UN Map Finally Shows Paraguay At Its Actual Size

September 8, 2026

Prime Minister, Bryan Adams Share Roll Kuchen in Altona

September 5, 2026

Mennonite Man Takes 5 Hours to Pass Semi

September 3, 2026

Mennonite Woman in Existential Crisis at Grocery Store

September 2, 2026

Unger Games

  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026
  • Massive Simon Hildebrandt Statue Appears Outside MBCI
    August 16, 2026
  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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