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Unger the Influence

US Launches Major Attack on the Epstein Files

February 28, 2026

EPSTEIN FILES The US government has launched a surprise full scale attack on the Epstein Files this weekend. “We had to strike and strike hard to prevent the Epstein Files from doing any more damage,” […]

Unger Games

American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey

February 26, 2026

OTTAWA, ON Moments after the US victory on Sunday morning, millions of Canadians have decided they no longer have any interest in the sport of hockey. “President Trump warned us of this very thing,” said […]

Unger Conviction

  • Why All Mennonite Families Hold Hands While Praying
    June 10, 2018
  • Mennonite Brethren and General Conference Sign Massive Free Trade Deal
    October 13, 2017
  • Church Meeting Delayed Four Hours Waiting for a Seconder
    October 23, 2019

Unger & Thirst

  • Skeptical Burger King Customer Seeks to Prove the Existence of ‘Ketchup Nuggets’
    August 6, 2023
  • Portland Brewery Offers Vaccine Tasting Flight
    December 19, 2020
  • ‘Knackzoat Bear’ Tells the Strange True Story of a Grizzly Hooked on Spitz
    February 26, 2023

Unger the Influence

  • Every American School to be Supplied with their Very Own Dairy Cow
    January 24, 2026
  • Andrew Unger Gifted Secondhand Nobel Prize for Literature
    January 21, 2026
  • American Soldiers Accidentally Invade Greenland Road
    January 17, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Newton’s “World’s Tallest Mennonite” Drafted by Golden State Warriors
    March 4, 2021
  • Mennonite Judges to Score Miss America Swimsuit Competition
    September 1, 2018
  • Loewen Windows Employee to Marry Barkman Concrete Employee
    April 10, 2017
  • Mennonite Couple Select the Perfect Pair of Crocs for a Night on the Town
    July 7, 2021

Trending

  • James Talarico Article Pulled from the Unger Review
    February 19, 2026
  • Canadian Curler Accused of “Knipsing” Stone
    February 18, 2026
  • Manitoba Issues Province-wide “Yellow Snow” Warning
    February 17, 2026
  • I Searched the Epstein Files for Mennonite Content – This is What I Found
    February 16, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Harvard Restores Funding After Record-Setting Quilt Auction
    May 25, 2025
  • Mennonites Really Disappointed with Philip Yantsied
    January 9, 2026
  • New Card Game ‘German Blitz’ Fails to Catch On
    November 30, 2022
  • Sean Penn Confesses He’s Really a Penner
    September 9, 2023
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Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal

February 25, 2026

Carney to Melt Down All of Canada’s Unwanted Olympic Medals to Build High Speed Rail Line

February 24, 2026

Connor Hellebuyck Reassures Jets Fans He Won’t Ever Play That Well Again

February 23, 2026

Massive Stockpile of Silver Medals Discovered at Local Thrift Store

February 22, 2026

Abbotsford Man Has No Excuse to Miss Church Tomorrow Since He’ll Be Up at 5 AM Anyway Watching Hockey

February 21, 2026

Unger Games

  • American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey
    February 26, 2026
  • Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal
    February 25, 2026
  • Carney to Melt Down All of Canada’s Unwanted Olympic Medals to Build High Speed Rail Line
    February 24, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Reassures Jets Fans He Won’t Ever Play That Well Again
    February 23, 2026
  • Massive Stockpile of Silver Medals Discovered at Local Thrift Store
    February 22, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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