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Unger Games

Jonathan Toews Signs with Only Team that Knows How to Pronounce His Last Name Correctly

June 20, 2025

WINNIPEG, MB The Winnipeg Jets scored a major coup this week after signing hometown hero and NHL legend Jonathan Toews, who, according to rumours, signed with the team exclusively because “they’re the only ones who […]

Unger Suspicion

School Accidentally Plays Sex Pistols Song Before Morning Announcements

June 19, 2025

DOLPHIN, MB After months of controversy and debate, Dolphin School Trustee Pete Caflib has finally convinced his local school division to bring back the Royal Anthem. “Yeah, so I picked up a bunch of 45s […]

Unger Conviction

  • Friesen Family Musical Ensemble Breaks Up
    November 26, 2018
  • Doily Proven to Be Authentic ‘Shroud of Menno Simons’
    August 24, 2024
  • Only Two More Weeks Until Mennonites Have to Go Back to Church
    August 17, 2024

Unger & Thirst

  • Manitoba Hit with Worst Blizzard in Decades
    April 13, 2022
  • MennoCon23 Attendee Caught Skipping Session to Get BBQ
    July 5, 2023
  • Mennonite Man Impressed with Such Large Portions of Such Poor Quality Food
    January 3, 2025

Unger the Influence

  • Excluded from Debate, Green Party Told to Fight Amongst Themselves Like Mennonites
    April 19, 2025
  • Canadians Excited to Vote in Upcoming False Dichotomy
    April 18, 2025
  • Doug Ford Accidentally Shuts Off Power to the Amish
    April 16, 2025

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Man Becomes First to Reach the Summit of Abe’s Hill
    December 10, 2019
  • Chilliwack Couple Retires to Yarrow
    July 30, 2020
  • Mennonite Couple Finally Consummates Marriage on Fifth Wedding Anniversary
    May 12, 2017
  • Top Ten Mennonite Movies of 2019
    December 29, 2019

Trending

  • Area Man Supports “Biblical Marriage” By Obtaining 700 Wives and 300 Concubines
    June 11, 2025
  • Musk Steals Church Split Idea from Mennonites
    June 10, 2025
  • Top 10 Menno Lit Satire Articles
    June 9, 2025
  • Steinbachers Starve for Lack of Fast Food Chains
    June 8, 2025

Unger Suspicion

  • Study: 99% of Anti-Vax “Research” Occurs While Taking a Dump
    August 28, 2021
  • Quentin Tarantino to Direct Bloodiest Mennonite Film Ever
    July 19, 2016
  • Michael Phelps Spotted at Local Gravel Pits
    September 1, 2016
  • Joe Biden Continues Longstanding American Tradition of Bombing the Hell Out of Foreign Countries
    February 26, 2021
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Chatty Mennonite Woman Holds Elevator Door for a Record 5 Hours

June 17, 2025

City Turns Every Available Flat Surface into Pickleball Courts

June 16, 2025

G7 Summit to Feature Crokinole Tournament

June 14, 2025

Forklift Enlisted to Transport New Mennonite Book

June 13, 2025

Mennonites Gather in Winnipeg to Decide which Writer to Excommunicate Next

June 12, 2025

Unger Games

  • Jonathan Toews Signs with Only Team that Knows How to Pronounce His Last Name Correctly
    June 20, 2025
  • City Turns Every Available Flat Surface into Pickleball Courts
    June 16, 2025
  • Mennonites Gather in Zurich for Anabaptist 500
    May 28, 2025
  • Jets Fan Relieved He Finally Has His Evenings Free to Get Some Yardwork Done
    May 14, 2025
  • Baseball Commissioner Reinstates Shoeless Joe Just to Ruin ‘Field of Dreams’ for Everybody
    May 13, 2025

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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