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Unger Suspicion

Area Man Spends 10 Hours Trying to Figure Out Hotel Shower Controls

July 3, 2026

MONTREAL, QC Area man Collin Penner has been in Montreal for the jazz fest since Saturday, but has spent the entire time just figuring out how to get the hot water going in his hotel […]

Unger Suspicion

Area Man Has No Idea His AI-Generated Poster is a Total Shit Show

July 2, 2026

MITCHELL, MB Area man Dan Kehler proudly displayed his AI-generated poster this week, apparently completely oblivious to the fact it’s a total shit show. “Come one come all to the annual church potluck,” said Kehler. […]

Unger Conviction

  • Felix Manz, Forgotten Second Rebaptizer, Declared “Buzz Aldrin” of the Anabaptists
    January 22, 2025
  • Local Old Colony Church Experiments with Overhead Projector
    April 19, 2018
  • Area Man Supports “Biblical Marriage” By Obtaining 700 Wives and 300 Concubines
    June 11, 2025

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Leftover Rice Pudding: A Daily Bonnet Recipe
    January 2, 2021
  • Mennonites Really Excited for Tonight’s Golden Globe Awards
    January 7, 2018
  • 7 Liquids that Mennonites Just Can’t Resist
    July 6, 2018

Unger the Influence

  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026
  • James Comey Indicted Over ‘606 47’ Seashell Photo
    May 3, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Woman Under the Impression that Opening a Few Windows Will Cool Things Down in Here
    June 23, 2022
  • ‘Citizen Krahn’ Voted ‘Greatest Movie of All Time’
    July 5, 2018
  • Mennonite Woman Creates World’s Longest Mexican Chain
    July 4, 2022
  • Menno Simons Donates ‘Gently Used’ Items to New Steinbach Hardware Store
    September 24, 2016

Trending

  • Mennonite Man Fakes Injury to Avoid Church this Morning
    June 27, 2026
  • Vandals Caddyshack the Reflecting Pool
    June 26, 2026
  • 300-Foot Gash Appears in MB Church Baptismal Tank
    June 25, 2026
  • Mennonite Man Leaves Faspa Early to Avoid Cleaning Up the Chairs
    June 24, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Sean Penn Confesses He’s Really a Penner
    September 9, 2023
  • Mennonites Really Disappointed with Philip Yantsied
    January 9, 2026
  • “Not Only Does the New iPhone Suck, But It’s Also a Sin”
    September 13, 2016
  • “No, thanks!” Don Plett Rejects Ryan Reynolds’ Offer to Purchase Ottawa Senators
    November 9, 2022
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Canadians Accidentally Set Off Fireworks 3 Days Early

July 1, 2026

Paraguay Defeats Germany Thanks to the Prayers of 100,000 Mennonites

June 30, 2026

Taco Bell Unveils New Logo

June 29, 2026

Leamington Residents Celebrate Canada’s World Cup Victory with Giant Ketchup-Covered Vereniki

June 28, 2026

Winnipeg Jets Select Björk in First Round

June 27, 2026

Unger Games

  • Paraguay Defeats Germany Thanks to the Prayers of 100,000 Mennonites
    June 30, 2026
  • Leamington Residents Celebrate Canada’s World Cup Victory with Giant Ketchup-Covered Vereniki
    June 28, 2026
  • Winnipeg Jets Select Björk in First Round
    June 27, 2026
  • Recently Retired Jonathan Toews Scrambles to Get His Name on the Fernwood Waiting List
    June 20, 2026
  • Canadians Celebrate as List of ‘Sports We Don’t Suck At’ Balloons to Two
    June 18, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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