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The Daily Bonnet

Trump Calls Andrew Unger “Untalented, Totally Not Funny,” Demands Cancellation of The Unger Review

May 31, 2026

WASHINGTON, DC As part of his ongoing war on comedy, President Trump launched a series of attacks against Mennonite humourist Andrew Unger last night. “Totally untalented, not funny. Nobody reads The Unger Review. His ratings […]

Unger the Influence

Trump to “Completely Destroy” Military He “Completely Destroyed” Last Week

May 30, 2026

WASHINGTON, DC A completely destroyed and annihilated military has somehow managed to take over the Strait of Hormuz this afternoon, which means Donald Trump will have to completely destroy the completely destroyed military yet again. […]

Unger Conviction

  • Church Affiliation to be Included on New Steinbach Election Ballots
    October 27, 2018
  • Congregation Forced to Repeat “Good Morning” Over and Over Until it’s Loud Enough for the Pastor
    October 20, 2020
  • Faith Healer Offers Monthly Payment Plan
    January 10, 2025

Unger & Thirst

  • Wine Ninjas Accidentally Deliver to Mennonite Woman
    May 18, 2020
  • Mennonite Man Smokes His Sausage By Just Leaving it Outside for a While
    June 13, 2023
  • Wonder Oil to be Added to Town Drinking Water
    June 21, 2017

Unger the Influence

  • James Comey Indicted Over ‘606 47’ Seashell Photo
    May 3, 2026
  • Hog Farmers Concerned as Manitoba Seeks to Ban AI
    May 2, 2026
  • Doug Ford to Exclusively Travel by Horse and Buggy from Now On
    April 19, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonites Banned from Saying ‘Oba’
    December 23, 2016
  • Thousands of Winnipegers Visit Steinbach and Decide ‘It Doesn’t Suck’
    July 22, 2016
  • Highway 3 from Morden Makes Sharp Left Turn to Avoid Winkler
    September 12, 2020
  • Mennonite Man Left in Awkward Position After Neighbouring Passenger Falls Asleep on His Shoulder
    July 15, 2022

Trending

  • Ed Sullivan Theatre to Be Demolished and Replaced with Donald J. Trump Center for Free Speech
    May 22, 2026
  • Potato Discovered in Mennonite Man’s Vereniki
    May 21, 2026
  • Trump Really Excited About New $1.8 Billion Slush Fund
    May 20, 2026
  • Mennonite Woman Permanently Trapped in New Landmark Roundabout
    May 19, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Self-Loathing Winnipeggers Select ‘Ugh…Winnipeg Sucks’ as New City Slogan
    March 2, 2018
  • Winnipeg Jets Sign Top Free Agent Enforcer Will Smith
    April 3, 2022
  • Bernie Sanders’s Mittens Sworn in as President of the United States
    May 2, 2016
  • Lotto 6/49 Rewards Local Man with a Truck Load of Toilet Paper
    March 14, 2020
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Carney Just One MP Resignation Away From Minority Government the People Voted For

May 29, 2026

Enhanced Games Allow Athletes to Use Summa Borscht

May 28, 2026

Carney to Raze 72 Million Acres of Old Growth Forest to Make Copies of Guilbeault’s Resignation Letter

May 27, 2026

Petro-Canada Introduces New Farmer Sausage-Scented Air Fresheners

May 26, 2026

Andrew Unger Celebrates 10 Years of Schmaunt Fat Jokes

May 25, 2026

Unger Games

  • Enhanced Games Allow Athletes to Use Summa Borscht
    May 28, 2026
  • Winnipeg Metro Region Hoists Centennial Cup
    May 18, 2026
  • Donald Trump Tells Iran He Holds All the Cards
    May 13, 2026
  • Tariffs Move Leafs’ Pick from First to Sixty-Seventh
    May 6, 2026
  • Taber Arena Will No Longer Be Flooded With Schmaunt Fat After Winning Kraft Hockeyville
    April 5, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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