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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Takes Home Top Prize at Annual ‘Humility Awards’

April 27, 2026

WICHITA, KS The competition was fierce at the annual Mennonite Humility Awards this year, but, in the end, Mr. Samuel Janzen, 73, of Wichita was awarded the ‘Most Humble Person in Human History’ trophy. “Woohoo! […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Town Implements Needle Exchange Program for Knitting-Addicted Grandmas

April 25, 2026

BIRD-IN-HAND, PA The small Mennonite town of Bird-in-Hand, Pennsylvania has become the first community in the nation to introduce a knitting needle exchange program for local grandmas. Starting this January, local knitters will be able […]

Unger Conviction

  • ‘Praise God From Whom All Blessings Flow’ Reaches #1 on iTunes Chart Nearly 5 Centuries After its Release
    February 6, 2024
  • $10 Billion Business Deal Inked in Mennonite Church Lobby
    October 9, 2019
  • Mennonite Man “Crosses the Floor” to Join the Lutherans
    November 7, 2025

Unger & Thirst

  • Altona Has Record Dandelion Wine Harvest This Year
    May 25, 2016
  • Mennonite Woman Takes 14 Hours to Bake Cookies that will be Gone in 2 Minutes
    December 6, 2022
  • Mennonite Man Sets Up Rival Cheesesteak Shop Right Between Pat’s and Geno’s
    November 20, 2019

Unger the Influence

  • James Talarico Article Pulled from the Unger Review
    February 19, 2026
  • White House Demands New Bridge Be Rerouted to Epstein Island
    February 11, 2026
  • George Washington Completely “Absolved” in New Epstein Files
    February 1, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Woman Saves Thousands By Separating the Two-Ply
    April 8, 2018
  • 7 Signs that Mennonite Man is Just Not that Into You
    August 28, 2017
  • Steinbach Blessed with Pleasant Aroma of Manure Just in Time for Mother’s Day
    May 11, 2025
  • You’re So Vain, You Probably Think this Post is About You, Don’t You, Don’t You?
    February 26, 2020

Trending

  • Doug Ford to Exclusively Travel by Horse and Buggy from Now On
    April 19, 2026
  • Fans Petition Rock and Roll Hall of Fame to Induct Paraguayan Harpist Eduard Klassen
    April 18, 2026
  • Angine de Poitrine Turn Out to be a Couple Mennonite Boys from Winkler
    April 15, 2026
  • Conservatives Form Majority Government
    April 14, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • 67-year-old Mennonite Man Measures 6 7
    September 20, 2025
  • Manitobans Gather to Celebrate 150 Years of Undriveable Roads
    May 12, 2020
  • Local Birds Blissfully Unaware of Global Pandemic
    April 18, 2020
  • Falling on Your Ass Only Known Way to Stop While Skating
    February 7, 2018
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Morden Man Sets Up Corn Stand Early This Year

April 24, 2026

Mr. Hamm to Return to Ancestral Name of Mr. Schinkjefleisch

April 23, 2026

Mr. Harms Promises He Won’t Hurt Anybody

April 22, 2026

City of Steinbach Issues ‘Boil Schmaunt Fat’ Advisory

April 21, 2026

Server Stops By to Ask if Everything’s Tasting Good So Far Just as Area Man Takes Final Bite

April 20, 2026

Unger Games

  • Taber Arena Will No Longer Be Flooded With Schmaunt Fat After Winning Kraft Hockeyville
    April 5, 2026
  • Peters “Makes It to First Base” Giving Hope to Young Men Across Winkler
    April 4, 2026
  • Jason Kelce Spotted on Manitoba Farm in Full Mennonite Attire
    March 11, 2026
  • American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey
    February 26, 2026
  • Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal
    February 25, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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