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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Honour Dad by Making Him Come Over and Fix Stuff

June 21, 2026

TABER, AB A young Mennonite couple invited Dad over this Sunday afternoon to fix the leaking tap and a couple other things that were wrong with the house. “Happy Father’s Day, Dad,” said Samantha Penner. […]

Unger Games

Recently Retired Jonathan Toews Scrambles to Get His Name on the Fernwood Waiting List

June 20, 2026

STEINBACH, MB Days after announcing his retirement from hockey, Winnipeg Jets superstar Jonathan Toews made sure to get his name on the waiting list at Fernwood Place in Steinbach. “You can’t leave it until the […]

Unger Conviction

  • Kirk Cameron Reaffirms Belief in ‘Eternal Conscious Torment’ After Sitting Through One of His Own Movies
    December 11, 2025
  • Mennonite Sunday School Class to Discuss Ethics of Doing ‘Cash Jobs’
    August 6, 2022
  • Six Billion Year Old Bible Provides Definitive Proof of Evolution
    July 26, 2016

Unger & Thirst

  • Stick Holding Debit Machine at Drivethru Falls Just Short of Actually Reaching Car
    April 1, 2023
  • Ra’bus Shortage Leaves Mennonites Eating Dry Roll Kuchen
    June 27, 2020
  • Mennonite Man Denies Having a Beer Belly
    February 1, 2017

Unger the Influence

  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026
  • James Comey Indicted Over ‘606 47’ Seashell Photo
    May 3, 2026
  • Hog Farmers Concerned as Manitoba Seeks to Ban AI
    May 2, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Man Thrills Wife with Fleeting Half-Assed Massage
    May 16, 2021
  • Chilliwack Couple Retires to Yarrow
    July 30, 2020
  • 2016 Mennonite Christmas Shopping Guide – Ten Thousand Villages vs. Wal-Mart
    December 10, 2016
  • Local Woman Confuses ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’ for ‘The Daily Bonnet’
    October 14, 2019

Trending

  • Conflict-Averse Mennonites Getting Really Into Soccer to Watch All the Ties
    June 12, 2026
  • Every Self-Respecting Mennonite Cheering for Paraguay in World Cup Opener Friday
    June 11, 2026
  • Ottawa to Ban Social Media for Kids and Replace it with Hinterland Who’s Who
    June 10, 2026
  • Mennonite Man Super Excited to Eat These Noah’s Ark Cookies
    June 9, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Protestors Demand that Taylor Swift Get Around in this 1987 Plymouth
    March 14, 2024
  • Joe Biden Continues Longstanding American Tradition of Bombing the Hell Out of Foreign Countries
    February 26, 2021
  • ‘Mainstream Media Can’t be Trusted’ Says Area Man Who Gets All His Information from Memes
    May 15, 2021
  • Elon Musk Tops Forbes List of “America’s Favourite Oligarchs”
    March 12, 2022
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Canadians Celebrate as List of ‘Sports We Don’t Suck At’ Balloons to Two

June 18, 2026

Trump Vows to Make Washington Reflecting Pool as Beautiful as Lake Winnipeg

June 17, 2026

Alberta Man Votes to Stay in Canada After Discovering Honey Dill Sauce

June 15, 2026

Musk Tries Desperately to Squeeze Camel Through Eye of This Needle

June 14, 2026

Mennonite Man with Million-dollar Tractor Stakes a Stand Against “Pride”

June 13, 2026

Unger Games

  • Recently Retired Jonathan Toews Scrambles to Get His Name on the Fernwood Waiting List
    June 20, 2026
  • Canadians Celebrate as List of ‘Sports We Don’t Suck At’ Balloons to Two
    June 18, 2026
  • Conflict-Averse Mennonites Getting Really Into Soccer to Watch All the Ties
    June 12, 2026
  • Every Self-Respecting Mennonite Cheering for Paraguay in World Cup Opener Friday
    June 11, 2026
  • Mennonite Church to Host UFC Fight
    June 7, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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