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Unger the Influence

Mennonite Beats Mennonite with Votes from Mennonites

October 25, 2026

VICTORIA, BC Two folks of Mennonite ancestry, Doerkson and Eby, squared off for the role of Premier of British Columbia last night, with Mennonites turning out in droves to support the Mennonite of their choice. […]

Unger the Influence

Winnipeg Mayoral Candidate Accidentally Uses Pictures of Winkler

October 23, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB Winnipeg mayoral candidate Calvin Kleinsasser had a lot of explaining to do this week after his team accidentally ran an ad that included photos of Winkler, Manitoba instead of Winnipeg. “I don’t know […]

Unger Conviction

  • Church Meeting Delayed Four Hours Waiting for a Seconder
    October 23, 2019
  • Pastor Invites Congregation to ‘Netflix and Chill’ Night at Local Church
    September 23, 2016
  • Local Kleine Gemeinde Not So Kleine After Massive Expansion
    February 16, 2017

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Couple Can’t Figure Out Whether to Go to Abbotsford or Chilliwack ‘White Spot’
    September 22, 2021
  • World Cup Tourists Fall in Love With Schmaunt Fat
    July 8, 2026
  • Fancy Mennonite Restaurant Offers $200 21-course Tasting Menu
    March 14, 2017

Unger the Influence

  • Pentagon Introduces New “Firing Squad” Video Game for Kids
    October 10, 2026
  • British Columbians Can’t Decide Which Mennonite to Vote For
    October 6, 2026
  • Trump Promises Mennonites $5000 Worth of Bubbat if They Vote Republican
    October 3, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Man Celebrates 500 Years of Anabaptism By Getting Baptized 500 Times
    January 20, 2025
  • Mennonite Couple Celebrates Anniversary By Ordering the Cheapest Thing on the Menu
    August 24, 2018
  • Hottest Ever September in Small Mennonite Town of Schanzenhimmelsgruenfeldthalberg
    October 5, 2024
  • Lobby Group Promotes “Abstinence Only” Dance Education
    August 18, 2016

Trending

  • Incoherent White House Press Secretary Actually Speaking Low German
    October 16, 2026
  • American School Bans ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’ For Being Canadian
    October 14, 2026
  • White House Reinstates Day to Honour Guy Who Directed ‘Home Alone’
    October 13, 2026
  • Mennonite Woman Arrested for Buying Her Pumpkin Pie at Costco
    October 12, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Highway 75 Construction to be Finished Just in Time to Start All Over Again
    October 4, 2024
  • Canadian Woman’s Passport Expires Before It Even Arrives
    November 24, 2022
  • Beach Boys Record New Hit: “I Wish They All Could Be Chihuahua Girls”
    August 27, 2022
  • Ken Ham and Kent Hovind to Guest Star in Series Finale of ‘The Big Bang Theory’
    September 2, 2018
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Edmonton Mennonites Big Fans of Mayor Knack-Zoat

October 22, 2026

Roundup Introduces New Product to Eliminate Election Signs in Your Yard

October 21, 2026

Mennonite Church’s Annual ‘Costume and Candy Party’ Eerily Similar to Halloween

October 19, 2026

Mennonites Encouraged to Get Out and Vogt

October 18, 2026

Alberta Separatists Hire Mennonites to Show Them How It’s Done

October 17, 2026

Unger Games

  • Connor Hellebuyck Leads League With Impressive 0.00 GAA So Far This Season
    October 5, 2026
  • Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg
    September 24, 2026
  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026
  • Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’
    September 13, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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