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Unger the Influence

Doug Ford to Exclusively Travel by Horse and Buggy from Now On

April 19, 2026

NEW HAMBURG, ON Days after it was discovered the Ontario Premier was getting around in a $28 million private jet, Doug Ford announced he would be getting a Martin or Eby to cart him around […]

The Daily Bonnet

Fans Petition Rock and Roll Hall of Fame to Induct Paraguayan Harpist Eduard Klassen

April 18, 2026

STRATFORD, ON Another year has come and gone and once again legendary Paraguayan harpist Eduard Klassen has been left off the list for induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. “It’s outrageous,” said […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Church Buys Out Last Year of Pastor’s $40,000 Contract
    June 30, 2023
  • Ms. Anna Baptist to Bring the Word this Sunday
    August 3, 2019
  • Mennonite Pastor’s Peace Sermon Sparks Riot
    November 14, 2017

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Man Devastated by Meagre Serving of Farmer Sausage
    February 8, 2020
  • Penner Family Celebrates Cousin Peter’s Graduation from the Kid’s Table
    May 4, 2018
  • Mennonite Woman Cancels Italy Trip After Discovering Olive Garden
    November 5, 2017

Unger the Influence

  • James Talarico Article Pulled from the Unger Review
    February 19, 2026
  • White House Demands New Bridge Be Rerouted to Epstein Island
    February 11, 2026
  • George Washington Completely “Absolved” in New Epstein Files
    February 1, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Lancaster Hospital Opens New Wing to Deal with Dutch Blitz Injuries
    July 17, 2017
  • Historians Baffled: “Were Mennonites Dancing in Danzig?”
    October 1, 2019
  • Silly Local Man Finally Removes His Christmas Lights
    March 13, 2017
  • Lonely Planet Releases 600-page Guide to Blumenort
    October 19, 2016

Trending

  • Thousands of Poultry Farmers Accidentally Show Up at ‘National Poetry Month’ Event
    April 10, 2026
  • Killing People Only Way to Achieve Lasting Peace, Leaders Insist
    April 8, 2026
  • Mennonite Man Sent To Unclog Space Toilet
    April 7, 2026
  • Family Manages to Get On a Record Three Rides During Weeklong Trip to Disney
    April 6, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Area Person Has Opinion About Issue
    September 11, 2025
  • Single Snowflake Causes Vancouver Schools to Shut Down for ‘Snow Day’
    March 5, 2018
  • Hundreds of Canadian Politicians to “Mourn the Queen” at the Lake this Monday While Everyone Else Works
    September 14, 2022
  • Highway 75 Re-opens, Still Just as Shitty as Before
    November 27, 2021
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Angine de Poitrine Turn Out to be a Couple Mennonite Boys from Winkler

April 15, 2026

Conservatives Form Majority Government

April 14, 2026

“I thought it was me as a trajchtmoaka,” Trump says

April 13, 2026

Mennonite Man Wears His Very Best Carhartt to Church

April 12, 2026

Americans Demand the Flooding of Saskatchewan and Manitoba to Give their Ships Easier Access to Canadian Oil

April 11, 2026

Unger Games

  • Taber Arena Will No Longer Be Flooded With Schmaunt Fat After Winning Kraft Hockeyville
    April 5, 2026
  • Peters “Makes It to First Base” Giving Hope to Young Men Across Winkler
    April 4, 2026
  • Jason Kelce Spotted on Manitoba Farm in Full Mennonite Attire
    March 11, 2026
  • American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey
    February 26, 2026
  • Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal
    February 25, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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