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The Daily Bonnet

8 Mennonite Families from Mexico Establish New Colony on Moon

April 1, 2026

CAMPO 606, MOON More than 50 years after the Englishers did it, 8 Mennonites families from Mexico have finally landed on the moon, where they quickly established their most remote colony yet. “That’s one small […]

Unger Suspicion

Spring Arrives in Manitoba

March 31, 2026

INWOOD, MB Manitobans across the province were excited to welcome the arrival of spring this week. “Ahh, such a beautiful Manitoba spring,” said Mrs. Pankratz of Inwood as she slid on her Sorrels and slush […]

Unger Conviction

  • Special Number is Not All That Special
    February 8, 2017
  • Mennonite Church Lifts Television Ban Just in Time For that New Menno Sitcom
    January 3, 2024
  • Mennonite Pastor Scores with 1.6 Seconds Left Sending Sermon into Double Overtime
    May 5, 2025

Unger & Thirst

  • Local Woman Gains Ten Pounds Just By Looking at Mennonite Food
    August 21, 2019
  • Mennonite Family to Survive on Last Sunday’s Leftovers for the Next Two Years
    October 14, 2018
  • Wine Found in Mennonite Woman’s Cupboard “Just for Cooking” She Claims
    January 23, 2020

Unger the Influence

  • Premiers Gather in Saskatoon for Annual Crokinole Tournament
    January 29, 2026
  • “Up is Down” and “Down is Up” New Report Suggests
    January 26, 2026
  • GTA Prepares for Largest Deposit of Snow Since the Rob Ford Administration
    January 25, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Couple Spends Romantic Date Night at Peavey Mart
    April 20, 2024
  • Mennonite Co-Workers Caught Having Meddachschlop in the Photocopy Room
    June 10, 2020
  • “I’ll be there for sex”: Mennonite Man’s Text Gives the Wrong Impression
    May 22, 2019
  • A List of Other Famous Mennonite Writers that Andrew Unger is Related To
    October 9, 2024

Trending

  • ‘KPop Dueck Hunters’ Number One Movie on Mennonite Netflix
    March 23, 2026
  • Mysterious Formations Appear on Church Parking Lot Overnight
    March 21, 2026
  • Mennonite Man Buys Over a Million Dollars in Co-op Gas Just to Get a Huge Dividend Cheque
    March 20, 2026
  • Strawberries Discovered on Mennonite Man’s Vereniki
    March 19, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • ‘X’ Rebranded as ‘PG-13’ for Sensitive Mennonites
    July 30, 2023
  • Area Man to Corner You at the Water Cooler Tomorrow Morning and Tell You All About the Latest Joe Rogan Podcast
    October 17, 2022
  • Angry Mennonite Hockey Fan Can’t Figure Out “Waut de schissjat is wrong with those Jats yet!”
    April 7, 2019
  • Quebec Bans Mennonite Kerchiefs
    October 19, 2017
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La Crete Couple Spends Wild Weekend in High Level

March 30, 2026

Winnipeg Construction Crews Busy Installing Fresh New Potholes

March 29, 2026

Mennonite Church Shuns Snowman For Being ‘Immodestly Dressed’

March 27, 2026

Mennonite Man Cancels Netflix Over Lack of Fishing Shows

March 25, 2026

Manitoba to Remove PST on Honey Dill Sauce, Premier Says

March 24, 2026

Unger Games

  • Jason Kelce Spotted on Manitoba Farm in Full Mennonite Attire
    March 11, 2026
  • American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey
    February 26, 2026
  • Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal
    February 25, 2026
  • Carney to Melt Down All of Canada’s Unwanted Olympic Medals to Build High Speed Rail Line
    February 24, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Reassures Jets Fans He Won’t Ever Play That Well Again
    February 23, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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