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Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Man Takes 5 Hours to Pass Semi

September 3, 2026

MOOSOMIN, SK Area man Bob Sawatzky took just 5 hours to pass a semi on the highway this week, the fastest time ever recorded by a Mennonite. “I figured he was going 100,” said Bob, […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman in Existential Crisis at Grocery Store

September 2, 2026

STEINBACH, MB Area woman Anne Loewen, 71, was in the greatest existential crisis of her life this Saturday afternoon after encountering bags of frozen potato and cheddar perogies alongside the cottage cheese perogies she’s used […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Pastor Launches New Line of $99 NFT Trading Cards
    December 26, 2022
  • Churches to Install VLTs as Part of Alberta’s Phase 2 Reopening Plan
    June 16, 2020
  • Emergency Backup Preacher Fills In for Injured Senior Pastor
    February 25, 2020

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Funeral to be Followed by ‘Girl Dinner’ in Church Gymnasium
    December 2, 2024
  • New Steinbach Craft Brewer Forced By Law to Make Root Beer
    August 6, 2016
  • Mennonite Grandma Smuggles Baking Powder into White House, Plans to Make Zwieback
    July 6, 2023

Unger the Influence

  • Carney Just One MP Resignation Away From Minority Government the People Voted For
    May 29, 2026
  • Carney to Raze 72 Million Acres of Old Growth Forest to Make Copies of Guilbeault’s Resignation Letter
    May 27, 2026
  • Trump Really Excited About New $1.8 Billion Slush Fund
    May 20, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Couple Overstays Welcome By Two Years
    December 5, 2017
  • Mennonite Men Return from European Vacation with a Few New Habits
    September 2, 2022
  • Mennonite Church Warns ‘No Casual Meddachschlop During Public Health Crisis’
    March 31, 2020
  • Breaking an Arm While Sledding a Hiebert Family Tradition
    January 8, 2018

Trending

  • Trump To Relocate Mines From Strait of Hormuz To Lake Ontario
    August 26, 2026
  • Trump Threatens to Rename Lake Winnipeg if Wab Kinew Doesn’t Stop Saying Mean Things About Him
    August 25, 2026
  • Mennonites Demand Low German on Cereal Boxes
    August 24, 2026
  • Mennonite Man Gifts Wife Wrong Kind Of Dutch Oven
    August 23, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • NBC Gives New ‘Friends’ Reboot a Mennonite Twist
    March 27, 2019
  • Man Wearing North Face Jacket Forced to Walk Backwards Everywhere
    December 21, 2023
  • Goat Wins Top Prize in Annual Cuteness Awards
    July 1, 2025
  • Andrew Scheer Hoping to Become Canada’s First Schekjbenjel Prime Minister
    September 30, 2019
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Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights

September 1, 2026

Mennonite Man Introduces Japanese A5 Wagyu Jreewe

August 30, 2026

Winkler Attempts to Rename Morden

August 29, 2026

Mennonite Child Suspended for Speaking Low German at Recess

August 28, 2026

Toddler Demands Lake Ontario Be Renamed Lake Poopy Pants

August 27, 2026

Unger Games

  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026
  • Massive Simon Hildebrandt Statue Appears Outside MBCI
    August 16, 2026
  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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