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Unger Suspicion

Reitmans Introduces New ‘Angine de Poitrine’ Line

August 9, 2026

MONTREAL, QUEBEC In an effort to appeal to a younger hipper audience, Canadian clothing retailer Reitmans has recently introduced a new Angine de Poitrine line of polka-dotted blouses and skirts. “I never knew Reitmans was […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Fill Copper Wire Shortage By Stretching Pennies

August 8, 2026

WINKLER, MB A recent rash of copper wire thefts has left a huge shortage in the community of Winkler, which has thankfully been filled by a dedicated team of Mennonite volunteers. “We’ve been stretching pennies […]

Unger Conviction

  • Report: 97% of Mennonites Still Refer to ‘Mennonite Church’ as ‘General Conference’
    September 25, 2020
  • Doily Proven to Be Authentic ‘Shroud of Menno Simons’
    August 24, 2024
  • Daring Mennonite Couple Decide to Share a Bulletin this Sunday
    November 6, 2023

Unger & Thirst

  • Coca-Cola Adds Mennonite Names to Bottles
    June 8, 2017
  • Medium Salsa Proves Far Too Spicy for Mennonite Man
    August 23, 2021
  • New “I’d Like to Buy the World a Papsi” Ad Targets Mennonites
    June 23, 2020

Unger the Influence

  • Trump Really Excited About New $1.8 Billion Slush Fund
    May 20, 2026
  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Schekjbenjel Retires After 40 Years of Service
    June 9, 2016
  • Mennonite Man Attempts to Outdo Florida Man
    March 22, 2019
  • New Vertical Money Confuses Mennonite Man
    August 9, 2019
  • Mennonite Man Completes Bathroom Renovation in Mere Decades
    January 9, 2022

Trending

  • Mr. Penner Flicks For Triple Word Score
    July 31, 2026
  • Chihuahua Airport Offers New Lounge Just For Mennonite Grandmas
    July 30, 2026
  • Prince Edward Island Becomes Accidental Target of White House Anti-DEI Campaign
    July 28, 2026
  • Winnipeg’s Population Surpasses 850,000 Friesens
    July 27, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Amana Releases New ‘Throwback’ Dishwasher
    September 12, 2023
  • Local Mom Sentenced to Three Years Watching ‘Peppa Pig’
    February 26, 2018
  • Amazon Introduces New Premium ‘Two Weeks Late’ Delivery Option
    December 15, 2024
  • World Health Organization Bans Reading Internet Comments
    August 24, 2019
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Steinbach Unveils New Public Transit System

August 5, 2026

Mennonite Grandma Punishes Grandkids By Making Them Chew Thrills Gum

August 4, 2026

Rhubarb Discovered on Mennonite Woman’s Vereniki

August 3, 2026

8 Women Show Up to Claim Prize After Mary Unrau’s Name Called in Raffle Draw

August 2, 2026

Jeff Bridges, John Goodman Reunite for ‘The Big Sawatzky’

August 1, 2026

Unger Games

  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026
  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026
  • Canada Loses to Morocco After Not Getting Enough Pucks to the Net
    July 5, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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