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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Family Wastes Entire Vacation Visiting Relatives

July 26, 2026

TABER, AB The Kehlers of Grunthal only get two weeks vacation each year and for some reason have decided to blow it all on visiting frintschoft. “Miami? Paris? No. It’s Taber for us!” said Mrs. […]

Unger Suspicion

Southern Manitoba Transitions from Agricultural-Based Economy to Wedding Venue-Based Economy

July 25, 2026

MITCHELL, MB Agriculture has been the backbone of the economy in southern Manitoba for well over a century. Over the past couple years, however, it has been radically transformed to a wedding venue-based economy, as […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Man Claims ‘Prophetic Gift’ After Predicting Rain this May Long Weekend
    May 21, 2017
  • Mennonite Man Nails ’95 Theses’ to the Door of Local Church
    November 11, 2016
  • Local Congregation Installs Gender Neutral Church Pews
    July 12, 2016

Unger & Thirst

  • White House Warns Against Knackzoat During Pregnancy
    September 25, 2025
  • Altona Votes to Adopt Knackzoat as Legal Tender
    June 10, 2021
  • Jaws of Life Required to Extract Red Candy from Oma’s Candy Bowl
    December 28, 2018

Unger the Influence

  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026
  • James Comey Indicted Over ‘606 47’ Seashell Photo
    May 3, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Top 10 Songs! Your Ultimate Knackzoat Radio Playlist!
    September 12, 2021
  • Altona Man Begins Christmas Shopping Early This Year
    December 23, 2016
  • Grandpa Wiebe Knipses Twelve Twenties in a Row
    December 22, 2017
  • What if Alexa was Mennonite?
    April 4, 2018

Trending

  • US Strikes Iran With Their Most Powerful Weapon: Taco Bell Lettuce
    July 19, 2026
  • Trump to Fence Off the Border to Keep Out Canadian Smoke
    July 18, 2026
  • Mennonite Woman Lucks Out With New Licence Plate
    July 16, 2026
  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Questions about Hillary Clinton’s Health May Disqualify Her From Ushering in Church
    August 23, 2016
  • Man with Debit Machine in Hand Braces to Answer About His “Plans for the Rest of the Evening”
    September 2, 2025
  • Joke Crosses the Line Yet Again Today
    September 7, 2017
  • Bieber Debuts Terrible New Single “Yummy” at the Most Appropriate Venue – His Local Hillsong Church
    March 7, 2020
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

Mennonite Aunt Shocked To Discover She’s Been Excluded From Family Group Chat This Whole Time

July 24, 2026

Mennonites Flock to Nickelback Concert to Collect their 5 Cents

July 23, 2026

Massive Algae Bloom Discovered Beneath Gordie Howe Bridge

July 22, 2026

Area Couple Enjoys Delicious Meal of Authentic Mennonite Food

July 21, 2026

Christopher Nolan Casts Pacifist Mennonite Farmer as Odysseus

July 20, 2026

Unger Games

  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026
  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026
  • Canada Loses to Morocco After Not Getting Enough Pucks to the Net
    July 5, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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