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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Town Implements Needle Exchange Program for Knitting-Addicted Grandmas

April 25, 2026

BIRD-IN-HAND, PA The small Mennonite town of Bird-in-Hand, Pennsylvania has become the first community in the nation to introduce a knitting needle exchange program for local grandmas. Starting this January, local knitters will be able […]

Unger & Thirst

Morden Man Sets Up Corn Stand Early This Year

April 24, 2026

MORDEN, MB Area man Paul Goertzen has decided he’s going to beat everyone else to the punch this year and put up his corn stand at the end of April. “Come get your sweet delicious […]

Unger Conviction

  • Churches Demand All National Parks Be Turned Into Bible Camps
    January 20, 2018
  • ‘Miraculous Tongues’ Turn Out to Be Low German
    November 30, 2016
  • Mennonite Sect Heads to Toronto to Await the Rapture
    February 25, 2019

Unger & Thirst

  • Uncle Undoes Pants Button to Make Room for More Sausage
    July 2, 2017
  • Pastor Shortens Sermon to Allow More Time to Eat Paska Buns
    April 16, 2017
  • Shoplifter Donates Robin Hood Flour to the Poor
    December 3, 2020

Unger the Influence

  • James Talarico Article Pulled from the Unger Review
    February 19, 2026
  • White House Demands New Bridge Be Rerouted to Epstein Island
    February 11, 2026
  • George Washington Completely “Absolved” in New Epstein Files
    February 1, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Man Wins Nobel Peace Prize for Remembering to Lift the Toilet Seat
    March 29, 2024
  • Mennonite Couple Celebrates Anniversary By Ordering the Cheapest Thing on the Menu
    August 24, 2018
  • Winnipeg Wonders: How Many Mennonites Does it Take to Change a Purple Lightbulb?
    March 15, 2023
  • 8 Mennonite Families from Mexico Establish New Colony on Moon
    April 1, 2026

Trending

  • Fans Petition Rock and Roll Hall of Fame to Induct Paraguayan Harpist Eduard Klassen
    April 18, 2026
  • Angine de Poitrine Turn Out to be a Couple Mennonite Boys from Winkler
    April 15, 2026
  • Conservatives Form Majority Government
    April 14, 2026
  • “I thought it was me as a trajchtmoaka,” Trump says
    April 13, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Toronto Argos Celebrate Victory with Reception in Mennonite Church Basement
    November 21, 2022
  • Local Mom Sentenced to Three Years Watching ‘Peppa Pig’
    February 26, 2018
  • Local Band Royal Canoe to be Knighted by Queen Elizabeth II
    June 15, 2016
  • Local Woman Renews Her Vows to Facebook
    May 30, 2017
  • Facebook
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  • Instagram

Mr. Hamm to Return to Ancestral Name of Mr. Schinkjefleisch

April 23, 2026

Mr. Harms Promises He Won’t Hurt Anybody

April 22, 2026

City of Steinbach Issues ‘Boil Schmaunt Fat’ Advisory

April 21, 2026

Server Stops By to Ask if Everything’s Tasting Good So Far Just as Area Man Takes Final Bite

April 20, 2026

Doug Ford to Exclusively Travel by Horse and Buggy from Now On

April 19, 2026

Unger Games

  • Taber Arena Will No Longer Be Flooded With Schmaunt Fat After Winning Kraft Hockeyville
    April 5, 2026
  • Peters “Makes It to First Base” Giving Hope to Young Men Across Winkler
    April 4, 2026
  • Jason Kelce Spotted on Manitoba Farm in Full Mennonite Attire
    March 11, 2026
  • American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey
    February 26, 2026
  • Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal
    February 25, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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