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Unger Games

Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again

July 15, 2026

ATLANTA, GA Mennonite soccer fans across South America were cheering against Argentina this afternoon, only for England to totally “fe’schlucke” at the last minute. “Diewel, I’ve never seen a team fe’schlucke themselves like that before,” […]

Unger Suspicion

Folk Fest Attendee Sells Spot in the Shade for $500 a Square Foot

July 14, 2026

BIRDS HILL PARK, MB Area man Wally Dueck, 51, made almost $200,000 selling highly-desirable spots in the shade at the Winnipeg Folk Festival this weekend. “Hey, you look a little sun-stroked there, now, don’t you?” […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Pastor Digs Up Old Sermon from the 60s to Preach Against New Beatles Song
    November 4, 2023
  • Local Church to Host Weekly ‘Superspreader Potluck’
    October 16, 2020
  • Mennonite Infant Asks to Be Baptized Upon Confession of Her Faith
    December 17, 2016

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonites Gather at Relief Sale to Get their Hands on Fresh Tea Balls
    May 28, 2022
  • Schmaunt Fat Prices Soar to Record Highs
    June 20, 2017
  • Mennonite Woman Spends Six Hours Looking for the Right Tupperware Lid
    September 23, 2021

Unger the Influence

  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026
  • James Comey Indicted Over ‘606 47’ Seashell Photo
    May 3, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Religious Bumper Stickers Causing Accidents All Over Southern Manitoba
    March 6, 2017
  • Mr. Penner Can’t Believe He’s Now in Charge of Walmart
    June 13, 2022
  • Read Through ‘The Best of the Bonnet’ in One Year: A Guide
    December 9, 2021
  • Logical Fallacies Explained to Mennonites
    December 18, 2017

Trending

  • World Cup Tourists Fall in Love With Schmaunt Fat
    July 8, 2026
  • Mennonite Woman Struggles to Keep Dandelions, Quackgrass, and AI Data Centres Out of Her Garden This Year
    July 7, 2026
  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026
  • Canada Loses to Morocco After Not Getting Enough Pucks to the Net
    July 5, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Massive Concrete Wall Divides Kitchener and Waterloo
    September 19, 2017
  • Facebook Hires Nosy Mennonite Women to Collect Data on Users
    April 15, 2018
  • Mennonite Man Confesses to Voting Democrat
    December 10, 2020
  • Retired Threshing Machine Takes Up New Full-Time Advertising Job
    August 20, 2020
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Thousands of Canadians Flock to Mexico to Cool Off this Summer

July 13, 2026

Mennonite Women are Shedding their Düaks During Heat Wave

July 12, 2026

White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup

July 11, 2026

Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning

July 10, 2026

Mennonites Gather at Bird’s Hill for Annual Winnipeg Falk Fest

July 9, 2026

Unger Games

  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026
  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026
  • Canada Loses to Morocco After Not Getting Enough Pucks to the Net
    July 5, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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