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Unger Suspicion

Minnesota to be Renamed ‘Manitoba South’

February 3, 2026

ST. PAUL, MINNESOTA The state of Minnesota, famed for its lakes, cheese-stuffed hamburgers and association with the late musician Prince, has decided to forego all that and take on the new name ‘Manitoba South.’ “People […]

Unger the Influence

George Washington Completely “Absolved” in New Epstein Files

February 1, 2026

WASHINGTON, DC Historians are breathing a sigh of relief this weekend as not a single mention of George Washington was discovered in the latest batch of Epstein files. “His name has been completely cleared,” said […]

Unger Conviction

  • Church Worship Team Replaced With U2 Cover Band
    July 5, 2017
  • Mennonite Pastor Signs Two-Year $25 Thousand Extension with Local Church
    October 11, 2025
  • Mennonite Sect Heads to Toronto to Await the Rapture
    February 25, 2019

Unger & Thirst

  • Unsure if New Church Friend’s a Teetotaler, Mennonite Woman Invites Her for ‘Coffee’
    July 22, 2018
  • Mennonite Man to Start Drinking Bud Light Just So He Has Something to Boycott
    April 7, 2023
  • Canadian Mennonite Dares to Try the Hot Sauce from Mexican Import Store
    July 19, 2023

Unger the Influence

  • Ottawa Disappointed with Gun Buyback Program in Mennonite Country
    January 11, 2026
  • Zwaagstra Vows to Continue Goertzen’s Legacy of Giving Andrew Unger Plenty of Material
    January 8, 2026
  • US Troops Accidentally Seize One of Those Oil and Vinegar Tasting Rooms
    January 5, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Ex-Mennonite Accidentally Leans Over Onto the Non-Shunned Table
    April 18, 2021
  • Mennonite Woman Makes Matching Outfits for the Entire Family
    July 9, 2020
  • Local Restaurant Prefers Canoes to Mennonites
    February 20, 2017
  • Mennonite Couple Saves Millions by Pickling the Watermelon Rinds
    July 3, 2024

Trending

  • GTA Prepares for Largest Deposit of Snow Since the Rob Ford Administration
    January 25, 2026
  • Every American School to be Supplied with their Very Own Dairy Cow
    January 24, 2026
  • Mennonite Man Gets Standing Ovation in Switzerland
    January 22, 2026
  • Andrew Unger Gifted Secondhand Nobel Prize for Literature
    January 21, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Collective Soul Play Casino Just to Make their Fans Feel Old
    April 19, 2023
  • Rather than Read Group Rules, Area Woman to Write “Please delete if not allowed” Before Every Post
    January 27, 2025
  • Lisa LaFlamme Offered Job at The Daily Bonnet
    August 17, 2022
  • Local Man Totally Ruins Concert By Singing Along
    June 8, 2016
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Theatres Empty for New Documentary About My Taunte Lina

January 31, 2026

Premiers Gather in Saskatoon for Annual Crokinole Tournament

January 29, 2026

Area Man to Pretend Super Bowl Actually Matters to Distract Himself from Everything Else Going On in the World Right Now

January 28, 2026

Climber Scales Credit Union Building Without Safety Gear

January 27, 2026

“Up is Down” and “Down is Up” New Report Suggests

January 26, 2026

Unger Games

  • Premiers Gather in Saskatoon for Annual Crokinole Tournament
    January 29, 2026
  • Area Man to Pretend Super Bowl Actually Matters to Distract Himself from Everything Else Going On in the World Right Now
    January 28, 2026
  • Winnipeg Jets Sign Mennonite Senior to Bring Some Youth to the Team
    January 19, 2026
  • New Season of ‘Heated Rivalry’ to Feature Manitoba’s Top Crokinole Players
    January 17, 2026
  • Steinbach Mayor Wins Grand Slam of Butchering
    January 12, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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