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Unger & Thirst

Server Stops By to Ask if Everything’s Tasting Good So Far Just as Area Man Takes Final Bite

April 20, 2026

ARBORG, MB Area man Dan Wiens was just about finished his meatloaf and mashed potatoes this evening when the server finally popped by to see how the first few bites tasted. “Umm, it was good,” […]

Unger the Influence

Doug Ford to Exclusively Travel by Horse and Buggy from Now On

April 19, 2026

NEW HAMBURG, ON Days after it was discovered the Ontario Premier was getting around in a $28 million private jet, Doug Ford announced he would be getting a Martin or Eby to cart him around […]

Unger Conviction

  • Pastor to Fight Epidemic of Mennonite Men Wearing Shorts in Church
    June 1, 2025
  • Canadian Hockey Fans Boo Hymn 606
    February 10, 2025
  • New Pill Cures Hymnal Dysfunction
    January 2, 2019

Unger & Thirst

  • “But I Didn’t Inhale”: Mennonite Politician Confesses to Consuming Borscht
    February 11, 2019
  • Mennonite Celebrities Featured on New YouTube Series ‘Bland Ones’
    September 19, 2021
  • Manitoba Knackzoat Reservations Surge on Opening Day
    April 7, 2021

Unger the Influence

  • James Talarico Article Pulled from the Unger Review
    February 19, 2026
  • White House Demands New Bridge Be Rerouted to Epstein Island
    February 11, 2026
  • George Washington Completely “Absolved” in New Epstein Files
    February 1, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Man Runs for Mayor of Vanapag
    October 24, 2022
  • Steinbach Celebrates 150 Sinless Years
    October 17, 2024
  • Christmas Lights Partake in Intermittent Fasting
    December 26, 2021
  • Mr. Penner Can’t Believe He’s Now in Charge of Walmart
    June 13, 2022

Trending

  • Americans Demand the Flooding of Saskatchewan and Manitoba to Give their Ships Easier Access to Canadian Oil
    April 11, 2026
  • Thousands of Poultry Farmers Accidentally Show Up at ‘National Poetry Month’ Event
    April 10, 2026
  • Killing People Only Way to Achieve Lasting Peace, Leaders Insist
    April 8, 2026
  • Mennonite Man Sent To Unclog Space Toilet
    April 7, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Spotify Removes Every Neil Young Album Except “Everybody’s Rockin'”
    February 7, 2022
  • Fox News Sold to Group of Mennonite Investors; New Channel to Promote ‘Peace, Love, and Understanding’
    September 13, 2016
  • Mennonite Woman Needs Weekend to Recover from Weekend
    October 15, 2025
  • Winnipeg’s Garbage Hill to Be Returned to its Former Glory
    September 11, 2018
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Fans Petition Rock and Roll Hall of Fame to Induct Paraguayan Harpist Eduard Klassen

April 18, 2026

Angine de Poitrine Turn Out to be a Couple Mennonite Boys from Winkler

April 15, 2026

Conservatives Form Majority Government

April 14, 2026

“I thought it was me as a trajchtmoaka,” Trump says

April 13, 2026

Mennonite Man Wears His Very Best Carhartt to Church

April 12, 2026

Unger Games

  • Taber Arena Will No Longer Be Flooded With Schmaunt Fat After Winning Kraft Hockeyville
    April 5, 2026
  • Peters “Makes It to First Base” Giving Hope to Young Men Across Winkler
    April 4, 2026
  • Jason Kelce Spotted on Manitoba Farm in Full Mennonite Attire
    March 11, 2026
  • American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey
    February 26, 2026
  • Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal
    February 25, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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