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Unger the Influence

Conservatives Vote to Reaffirm Party Leader Mark Carney

March 6, 2026

OTTAWA, ON After a leadership review this week, the Conservative Party of Canada has overwhelmingly reaffirmed the leadership of Mark Carney. “He supports free trade, increased military spending, building pipelines, and supporting war with the […]

The Daily Bonnet

High Valley Fills Winnipeg Theatre Entirely with Rempels

March 5, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB La Crete, Alberta’s country superstars High Valley are currently travelling across Canada performing exclusively for various Rempels. “Every time I walk out onto the stage and look out into audience, all I see […]

Unger Conviction

  • Streets are So Empty that Mennonite Man Thinks He Missed the Rapture
    April 10, 2020
  • Guest Gets Totally Lost on the Way to 100 Huntley Street
    May 21, 2017
  • ‘Reverse Lent’ Begins Today for Devout Mennonites
    March 1, 2017

Unger & Thirst

  • iPhone Severely Damaged After Spending Afternoon in Pocket Full of Zoat
    April 23, 2025
  • Strangers on Russlaender Train Agree to Swap Recipes
    July 12, 2023
  • Mennonites Have No Place to Store their Crokinole Pieces After Crown Royal Plant Shuts Down
    December 1, 2025

Unger the Influence

  • “Up is Down” and “Down is Up” New Report Suggests
    January 26, 2026
  • GTA Prepares for Largest Deposit of Snow Since the Rob Ford Administration
    January 25, 2026
  • Every American School to be Supplied with their Very Own Dairy Cow
    January 24, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Woman Has Three Sisters Named Helen and Four Brothers Named Jake
    April 20, 2022
  • Read Through ‘The Best of the Bonnet’ in One Year: A Guide
    December 9, 2021
  • Mennonite Man’s Car Spotted in Liquor Store Parking Lot
    May 27, 2020
  • Thrift Store Confuses Shot Glasses for Candle Holders
    October 28, 2017

Trending

  • Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal
    February 25, 2026
  • Carney to Melt Down All of Canada’s Unwanted Olympic Medals to Build High Speed Rail Line
    February 24, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Reassures Jets Fans He Won’t Ever Play That Well Again
    February 23, 2026
  • Massive Stockpile of Silver Medals Discovered at Local Thrift Store
    February 22, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Mr. Smith is Asked “You’re Not From Around Here, Are You?” Every Single Day of His Life
    December 5, 2016
  • Mennonite Man Blows Entire MPI Cheque on Canadian Flags
    February 18, 2022
  • Census Shows 96% of Canadian Men are Named Gord
    July 1, 2022
  • ‘Amish Village at Night’ as Seen from International Space Station
    May 9, 2020
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World War III Finally Gives Mennonites the Chance to be Conscientious Objectors Again

March 4, 2026

Frugal BC Mennonites Excited for the Permanent Daylight Savings

March 3, 2026

Funk and Penner Endorse Penner for Goertzen’s Job Reports Peters from Reimer

March 1, 2026

US Launches Major Attack on the Epstein Files

February 28, 2026

American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey

February 26, 2026

Unger Games

  • American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey
    February 26, 2026
  • Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal
    February 25, 2026
  • Carney to Melt Down All of Canada’s Unwanted Olympic Medals to Build High Speed Rail Line
    February 24, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Reassures Jets Fans He Won’t Ever Play That Well Again
    February 23, 2026
  • Massive Stockpile of Silver Medals Discovered at Local Thrift Store
    February 22, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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