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Unger Conviction

Eclipse Glasses Required to Safely View Sunday’s Worship Service

August 12, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB Waters of Blessing, an area church well known for its mind-blowing worship hour, is urging parishioners to bring their eclipse glasses along to this weekend’s service. “We’ve heard your cries for more total […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Forgets to Put Star Anise in Her Chicken Soup

August 11, 2026

ALTONA, MB Mrs. Toews was so thoroughly embarrassed with her failure to add star anise to her chicken soup at the soup and pie fundraiser this past week that she has vowed never to make […]

Unger Conviction

  • Distracted Texting Millennial Accidentally Walks Into Church
    September 24, 2017
  • Last Church in Town Finally Drops ‘Cumbersome Mennonite Label’
    March 26, 2018
  • Mennonite Church Bans TikTok From All Devices … But Only the Dancing Videos
    March 3, 2023

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Man Discovers New Use for Ketchup
    July 14, 2025
  • Mennonite Grandma Can Finally Sleep Tonight Because She Didn’t Run Out of Food at the Gathering
    August 19, 2021
  • Generous Mennonite Family Treats Dad to an Order of Mozza Sticks
    June 16, 2019

Unger the Influence

  • Trump Really Excited About New $1.8 Billion Slush Fund
    May 20, 2026
  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Bump of Packed Down Snow at the End of Mr. Penner’s Driveway Declared Manitoba’s Highest Peak
    February 7, 2018
  • Local Woman Introduces New ‘Extra Sour’ Funeral Pickles
    April 30, 2017
  • Cruisers to Have Exclusive Access to Steinbach Main Street on Friday Nights
    May 5, 2017
  • Winkler Hires Taunte Nettie as City’s First Female Cop
    July 26, 2017

Trending

  • Rhubarb Discovered on Mennonite Woman’s Vereniki
    August 3, 2026
  • 8 Women Show Up to Claim Prize After Mary Unrau’s Name Called in Raffle Draw
    August 2, 2026
  • Jeff Bridges, John Goodman Reunite for ‘The Big Sawatzky’
    August 1, 2026
  • Mr. Penner Flicks For Triple Word Score
    July 31, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Chinese Government Calls for Strict 12-Child Policy on Mennonites
    July 16, 2016
  • Daily Bonnet Risks Alienating Legions of Devoted Followers in Quebec by Saying “Go Jets Go!”
    June 2, 2021
  • Amish Village Wows Guests with Annual Christmas Light Display
    December 26, 2023
  • Riders Fan Spends All Afternoon Watching PVRed Games From 10 Years Ago
    November 13, 2022
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Mennonite Man Buys Back All the Albums He Was Forced to Burn in the 70s

August 10, 2026

Reitmans Introduces New ‘Angine de Poitrine’ Line

August 9, 2026

Mennonites Fill Copper Wire Shortage By Stretching Pennies

August 8, 2026

Steinbach Unveils New Public Transit System

August 5, 2026

Mennonite Grandma Punishes Grandkids By Making Them Chew Thrills Gum

August 4, 2026

Unger Games

  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026
  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026
  • Canada Loses to Morocco After Not Getting Enough Pucks to the Net
    July 5, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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