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Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Forgets to Put Star Anise in Her Chicken Soup

August 11, 2026

ALTONA, MB Mrs. Toews was so thoroughly embarrassed with her failure to add star anise to her chicken soup at the soup and pie fundraiser this past week that she has vowed never to make […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Buys Back All the Albums He Was Forced to Burn in the 70s

August 10, 2026

SWIFT CURRENT, SK It’s taken him more than four decades, but local music fan Steve Goosen has finally re-purchased all the albums he tossed on the bonfire at that fateful youth retreat back in 1979. […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Couple Visits Every Single MB Church in the Fraser Valley
    July 8, 2022
  • Joel Osteen Fans are Literally Wearing Adult Diapers so they Don’t Miss a Second of His Three-Hour Sermons
    June 4, 2023
  • Steinbach Residents Flock to Mini-churches Across the City
    May 27, 2016

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Prophet Turns Wine Into Water
    May 12, 2017
  • Winkler Pastor Finally Approves Going for Shots in Morden
    June 7, 2021
  • Mennonites Suspected in $20 Million Golden Syrup Heist at Pearson Airport
    April 20, 2023

Unger the Influence

  • Trump Really Excited About New $1.8 Billion Slush Fund
    May 20, 2026
  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • ‘Mennonite’ and 7 Other Terms You Didn’t Know were Slurs
    November 19, 2024
  • 5 Satirical Articles About Miriam Toews
    March 1, 2023
  • Jeff Bezos Commits to Sending All Funks into Space
    July 23, 2021
  • Mennonite Women are Shedding their Düaks During Heat Wave
    July 12, 2026

Trending

  • 8 Women Show Up to Claim Prize After Mary Unrau’s Name Called in Raffle Draw
    August 2, 2026
  • Jeff Bridges, John Goodman Reunite for ‘The Big Sawatzky’
    August 1, 2026
  • Mr. Penner Flicks For Triple Word Score
    July 31, 2026
  • Chihuahua Airport Offers New Lounge Just For Mennonite Grandmas
    July 30, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Abbotsford Man Mortgages House to Pay for Bruce Springsteen Tickets
    November 7, 2023
  • Self-Loathing Winnipeggers Select ‘Ugh…Winnipeg Sucks’ as New City Slogan
    March 2, 2018
  • Legendary Hip-Hop Group Run EMC to Reunite for Annual Church Convention
    July 2, 2016
  • Mennonites Overwhelmingly Prefer Adam West to Any Other Batman
    June 11, 2017
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Reitmans Introduces New ‘Angine de Poitrine’ Line

August 9, 2026

Mennonites Fill Copper Wire Shortage By Stretching Pennies

August 8, 2026

Steinbach Unveils New Public Transit System

August 5, 2026

Mennonite Grandma Punishes Grandkids By Making Them Chew Thrills Gum

August 4, 2026

Rhubarb Discovered on Mennonite Woman’s Vereniki

August 3, 2026

Unger Games

  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026
  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026
  • Canada Loses to Morocco After Not Getting Enough Pucks to the Net
    July 5, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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