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Unger the Influence

Roundup Introduces New Product to Eliminate Election Signs in Your Yard

October 21, 2026

MITCHELL, MB Pesticide manufacture Roundup has just announced a new product specifically designed to get rid of those pesky election signs in your yard. “We’re really excited to bring this new product to the market,” […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church’s Annual ‘Costume and Candy Party’ Eerily Similar to Halloween

October 19, 2026

STEINBACH, MB The local MBGC church invites everyone to dress up like their favourite movie character and come sit around drinking Papsi and eating candy in the church basement this evening. “We’ll be decorating everything […]

Unger Conviction

  • How to Choose Your New Colony Name: A Guide for Hutterites
    August 18, 2023
  • Mennonite Man Pays Tithe in Chickens
    January 26, 2017
  • Mennonite Pastor Stocks up for Communion
    December 19, 2025

Unger & Thirst

  • Whose Mennonite Mom Makes the Best Perogies?
    May 13, 2018
  • Lemonade Stand Money Goes Directly to Dad
    June 12, 2017
  • Faspa Cancelled After Church Runs Out of Bothwell Cheese
    May 28, 2017

Unger the Influence

  • Wab Kinew Returns to Steinbach to Mow the Boulevards
    September 14, 2026
  • Premier Wab Kinew Finally Visits Steinbach Just as Every Local Politician is Mysteriously Out of Town
    September 12, 2026
  • Toddler Demands Lake Ontario Be Renamed Lake Poopy Pants
    August 27, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Truckers Now Honking in Fluent Plautdietsch
    February 9, 2022
  • Mennonite Town Bans Using Turn Signals
    January 30, 2018
  • Mennonite Man Claims Using Turn Signal is a “Violation of Privacy”
    November 6, 2021
  • Mennonite Woman Worried Trump May Try to Capture Her Essential Oils
    January 4, 2026

Trending

  • Mennonite Woman Arrested for Buying Her Pumpkin Pie at Costco
    October 12, 2026
  • Albertans to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Separation
    October 11, 2026
  • Pentagon Introduces New “Firing Squad” Video Game for Kids
    October 10, 2026
  • FIFA Awards Donald Trump Nobel Prize for Literature
    October 8, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • ‘Tooth & Nail’ Band Books Thirty Night Residency in Baptist Church Basement
    April 5, 2021
  • Pat Sajak to be Replaced with Mennonite Man who Only Knows Plautdietsch
    June 12, 2024
  • Canadian Olympians Forced to Pay Back Half Their Medals in Taxes
    February 13, 2018
  • Televangelist Predicts the Winnipeg Blue Bombers to Win the 2016 Grey Cup
    June 24, 2016
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Mennonites Encouraged to Get Out and Vogt

October 18, 2026

Alberta Separatists Hire Mennonites to Show Them How It’s Done

October 17, 2026

Incoherent White House Press Secretary Actually Speaking Low German

October 16, 2026

American School Bans ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’ For Being Canadian

October 14, 2026

White House Reinstates Day to Honour Guy Who Directed ‘Home Alone’

October 13, 2026

Unger Games

  • Connor Hellebuyck Leads League With Impressive 0.00 GAA So Far This Season
    October 5, 2026
  • Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg
    September 24, 2026
  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026
  • Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’
    September 13, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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