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Unger Suspicion

Massive E-Scooter Outbreak Strikes Southern Manitoba

October 7, 2026

STEINBACH, MB Steinbach, Manitoba has experienced a massive e-scooter outbreak this summer as thousands of locals have taken to the streets and sidewalks in an effort to disregard their own safety or the safety of […]

Unger the Influence

British Columbians Can’t Decide Which Mennonite to Vote For

October 6, 2026

VICTORIA, BC After the BC conservatives elected Lorne Doerkson as leader recently, voters in the province will now have the chance to pick a Russian Mennonite or a Swiss one. “Of course, who knows if […]

Unger Conviction

  • Man Arrested for Scalping Tickets to Megachurch Service
    February 1, 2017
  • Bible Camp Shuts Down After No One Memorizes Enough Verses to Attend
    July 2, 2019
  • Mennonite Church Accidentally Hires Seminary Graduate
    February 11, 2018

Unger & Thirst

  • MennoCon23 Attendee Caught Skipping Session to Get BBQ
    July 5, 2023
  • Mennonite Man Subsists Entirely on Free Hot Dogs
    September 18, 2017
  • Coming this October to a Mennonite Church Near You: Pumpkin Spice Baptisms!
    October 4, 2018

Unger the Influence

  • Vandals Caddyshack the Reflecting Pool
    June 26, 2026
  • Trump Vows to Make Washington Reflecting Pool as Beautiful as Lake Winnipeg
    June 17, 2026
  • Trump Calls Andrew Unger “Untalented, Totally Not Funny,” Demands Cancellation of The Unger Review
    May 31, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Winkler Man Racks Up $5 Million in Roaming Charges After Venturing into Morden
    May 31, 2024
  • Mennonites Excited as Halloween is Cancelled this Year
    October 31, 2020
  • Mennonite Couples Vow to Save Meddachschlop for Marriage
    April 21, 2017
  • Mennonite Man Renounces Genealogy After Connection to Homer Simpson is Discovered
    November 4, 2016

Trending

  • Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg
    September 24, 2026
  • Left Lane Between Steinbach and Blumenort to be Designated “Slow Minivan Lane”
    September 22, 2026
  • Electrician Busy Explaining to Concerned Mennonites what ‘AC/DC’ Really Means
    September 21, 2026
  • Mennonite Woman Ruins Perfectly Good Cinnamon Buns By Adding Raisins
    September 20, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Winnipeg Jets Sign Top Free Agent Enforcer Will Smith
    April 3, 2022
  • School’s Out! Back-to-School Shopping Begins!
    June 30, 2018
  • Empty Arenas Give Canadian Fans an ‘Authentic Florida Hockey Experience’
    January 18, 2021
  • Katy Perry and Justin Trudeau Caught on Jumbotron at Coldplay Concert
    July 29, 2025
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Connor Hellebuyck Leads League With Impressive 0.00 GAA So Far This Season

October 5, 2026

Trump Promises Mennonites $5000 Worth of Bubbat if They Vote Republican

October 3, 2026

Police Raid Home Suspected of Hosting Wild All-Night Tupperware Party

October 2, 2026

AI Claims It Won’t Kill All Humans and There’s Nothing to Worry About

September 27, 2026

Hundreds of Legal Potash Dispensaries to Open in Saskatchewan

September 26, 2026

Unger Games

  • Connor Hellebuyck Leads League With Impressive 0.00 GAA So Far This Season
    October 5, 2026
  • Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg
    September 24, 2026
  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026
  • Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’
    September 13, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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