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Unger Conviction

300-Foot Gash Appears in MB Church Baptismal Tank

June 25, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB A 300-foot long gash has appeared in the South Central Kildonan MB church baptismal tank this week, which has pastor Dave making accusations of vandalism. “It was the GCers I’m sure,” said Pastor […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Leaves Faspa Early to Avoid Cleaning Up the Chairs

June 24, 2026

WINKLER, MB At faspa this week, James Dueck, 37, of Winkler scrambled out of the church gymnasium just as soon as he’d wolfed down his cheese curds and dills. The reason? He was sick and […]

Unger Conviction

  • Which Steinbach Church Has the Best Coffee?
    May 3, 2017
  • Mennonite Hymn Reaches #1 After Inclusion on ‘Stranger Things’
    April 10, 2024
  • Local Church Offers Pedicures During Foot Washing Service
    October 8, 2017

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Man Confuses Päpanät for Kjnipsers
    December 24, 2021
  • Skeptical Mennonite Man Refuses to Eat Sausage Because He “Doesn’t Know What’s In It”
    February 2, 2022
  • New ‘Import Store’ to Sell Bland Canadian Food in Mexico
    November 29, 2023

Unger the Influence

  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026
  • James Comey Indicted Over ‘606 47’ Seashell Photo
    May 3, 2026
  • Hog Farmers Concerned as Manitoba Seeks to Ban AI
    May 2, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • The Daily Bonnet Makes You Famous!
    November 2, 2019
  • Mennonite Family Invites ‘Oma Krahn’ to Christmas Gathering
    December 18, 2021
  • Horseshoes-Related Injuries Soar in 2017
    June 1, 2017
  • Ten Terms No One Knows the Plautdietsch Word For
    January 5, 2018

Trending

  • Alberta Man Votes to Stay in Canada After Discovering Honey Dill Sauce
    June 15, 2026
  • Musk Tries Desperately to Squeeze Camel Through Eye of This Needle
    June 14, 2026
  • Mennonite Man with Million-dollar Tractor Stakes a Stand Against “Pride”
    June 13, 2026
  • Conflict-Averse Mennonites Getting Really Into Soccer to Watch All the Ties
    June 12, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Sump Pump Awarded Order of Manitoba
    May 5, 2022
  • BC Couple Super Proud of Their Lovely Brown Lawn this Year
    July 24, 2021
  • Mennonite Superhero ‘Barkman’ Saves the Day!
    September 4, 2019
  • Questions about Hillary Clinton’s Health May Disqualify Her From Ushering in Church
    August 23, 2016
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Libertarian Accidentally Walks Down Public Sidewalk

June 23, 2026

Mennonite Couple Honour Dad by Making Him Come Over and Fix Stuff

June 21, 2026

Recently Retired Jonathan Toews Scrambles to Get His Name on the Fernwood Waiting List

June 20, 2026

Canadians Celebrate as List of ‘Sports We Don’t Suck At’ Balloons to Two

June 18, 2026

Trump Vows to Make Washington Reflecting Pool as Beautiful as Lake Winnipeg

June 17, 2026

Unger Games

  • Recently Retired Jonathan Toews Scrambles to Get His Name on the Fernwood Waiting List
    June 20, 2026
  • Canadians Celebrate as List of ‘Sports We Don’t Suck At’ Balloons to Two
    June 18, 2026
  • Conflict-Averse Mennonites Getting Really Into Soccer to Watch All the Ties
    June 12, 2026
  • Every Self-Respecting Mennonite Cheering for Paraguay in World Cup Opener Friday
    June 11, 2026
  • Mennonite Church to Host UFC Fight
    June 7, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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