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Unger Suspicion

Trump To Relocate Mines From Strait of Hormuz To Lake Ontario

August 26, 2026

TORONTO, ON Amidst a heated trade war with Canada, President Donald Trump announced a new deal to reinstall all the mines he removed from the Strait of Hormuz and reinstall them in Lake Ontario. “Many […]

Unger Suspicion

Trump Threatens to Rename Lake Winnipeg if Wab Kinew Doesn’t Stop Saying Mean Things About Him

August 25, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB It seems US President Donald Trump has resorted to the most powerful weapon in his playbook -renaming bodies of water. “Starting tomorrow I am ordering all school children to scribble out the name […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Man Super Excited to Eat These Noah’s Ark Cookies
    June 9, 2026
  • Goldmine of Discarded Gospel Records Discovered at Local Thrift Store
    July 28, 2019
  • Church Attendance “Way Up” in Calgary as Flames Threaten to Leave Town
    January 26, 2018

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Woman Shocked that No One Starved at Recent Gathering
    December 29, 2022
  • Wonder Oil to be Added to Town Drinking Water
    June 21, 2017
  • Mennonite Man to Livestream Exclusive Performance of ‘The Nutcracker’
    December 22, 2020

Unger the Influence

  • Carney to Raze 72 Million Acres of Old Growth Forest to Make Copies of Guilbeault’s Resignation Letter
    May 27, 2026
  • Trump Really Excited About New $1.8 Billion Slush Fund
    May 20, 2026
  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Man to Hold the Exact Same Opinion About Everything for the Next Fifty Years
    June 26, 2025
  • Formula 1 Circuit Expands to Steinbach
    May 19, 2016
  • Mennonite Couple Saves Millions by Pickling the Watermelon Rinds
    July 3, 2024
  • Thousands of Steinbachers Set Up Lawn Chairs Just Outside Concert Gates To Avoid Paying
    June 18, 2016

Trending

  • Carney Asks Provinces to Return Shitty Inferior American Beer to Stores
    August 19, 2026
  • General Conference Strikes Last Minute Deal to Lift Tariffs on Mennonite Brethren
    August 17, 2026
  • Massive Simon Hildebrandt Statue Appears Outside MBCI
    August 16, 2026
  • Thousands of Mennonites Barely Clinging to Life During Nationwide Cottage Cheese Shortage
    August 14, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Man with Debit Machine in Hand Braces to Answer About His “Plans for the Rest of the Evening”
    September 2, 2025
  • NHL Says 11 Players Have Tested Positive for Mullets
    June 19, 2020
  • ‘Amazing Race Canada’ Contestants Super Excited to Fly Over Manitoba Yet Again
    August 31, 2022
  • Road Crews Really Busy This Summer Putting Out Pylons
    June 6, 2026
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Mennonites Demand Low German on Cereal Boxes

August 24, 2026

Mennonite Man Gifts Wife Wrong Kind Of Dutch Oven

August 23, 2026

Howard Lutnick Successfully Negotiates Massive $20 Billion Distraction From Epstein Island

August 22, 2026

Canada Agrees To Allow American Booze But Only If It’s All Pappy Van Winkle

August 21, 2026

Mennonite Man Narrowly Escapes Church Service in Catering Truck

August 20, 2026

Unger Games

  • Massive Simon Hildebrandt Statue Appears Outside MBCI
    August 16, 2026
  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026
  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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