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Unger & Thirst

Strawberries Discovered on Mennonite Man’s Vereniki

March 19, 2026

LA CRETE, AB A visiting couple from southern Manitoba made a shocking discovery in La Crete, Alberta this week: strawberries on vereniki. “Nah, oba, I’ve never even heard of such,” said Andrew Unger of Steinbach. […]

Unger Suspicion

Local Gas Station to Offer Free Kick in the Groin with Every Purchase

March 18, 2026

CHILLIWACK, BC Gas stations across the province are going the extra mile this week by providing each paying customer with a complimentary kick in the groin. “We’re trying to stand out from the crowd by […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Woman Claps Along to Worship Song
    May 14, 2017
  • Why All Mennonite Families Hold Hands While Praying
    June 10, 2018
  • Menno Simons to Be Canonized as a Saint by the Catholic Church
    July 10, 2016

Unger & Thirst

  • How old were you when you first began to like borscht?
    April 2, 2021
  • New Study: Farmer Sausage Contains Only “Trace Amounts” of Actual Farmers
    March 10, 2021
  • Mennonite Woman Tries to Pass Off Blueberry Pie as Saskatoon Pie
    June 30, 2020

Unger the Influence

  • Premiers Gather in Saskatoon for Annual Crokinole Tournament
    January 29, 2026
  • “Up is Down” and “Down is Up” New Report Suggests
    January 26, 2026
  • GTA Prepares for Largest Deposit of Snow Since the Rob Ford Administration
    January 25, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Abe’s Hill to Become Manitoba Star Attraction
    December 5, 2016
  • Niverville Vows to Overtake Steinbach for Most Number of Traffic Lights
    March 21, 2020
  • Abbotsford Woman Experiences Embarrassing Bout of Garden Envy
    November 10, 2021
  • 10 Dutch Blitz Rules You Probably Didn’t Know About
    November 13, 2017

Trending

  • Schmaunt Fat Soars to $100 a Barrel
    March 10, 2026
  • McDonald’s CEO Reluctantly Tries New Vereniki Product
    March 8, 2026
  • Conservatives Vote to Reaffirm Party Leader Mark Carney
    March 6, 2026
  • High Valley Fills Winnipeg Theatre Entirely with Rempels
    March 5, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Public is Shocked to Discover Quakers Are More than Just Oats
    January 4, 2017
  • Chewbacca Gets a Kick Out of New “Mom” Mask
    May 25, 2016
  • Leonard Cohen’s ‘Hallelujah’ Added to Mennonite Hymnal
    November 10, 2016
  • Mennonite Church Boycotts ‘Sexy Centennial’ Celebrations
    July 1, 2017
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Mennonites Hired to Drain the Strait of Hormuz

March 17, 2026

Ben Heppner and Howard Dyck to Take on Timothee Chalamet in High Stakes Prize Fight

March 16, 2026

Top 10 Mennonite Movies of the Year

March 14, 2026

Subway Opens in La Broquerie

March 12, 2026

Jason Kelce Spotted on Manitoba Farm in Full Mennonite Attire

March 11, 2026

Unger Games

  • Jason Kelce Spotted on Manitoba Farm in Full Mennonite Attire
    March 11, 2026
  • American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey
    February 26, 2026
  • Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal
    February 25, 2026
  • Carney to Melt Down All of Canada’s Unwanted Olympic Medals to Build High Speed Rail Line
    February 24, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Reassures Jets Fans He Won’t Ever Play That Well Again
    February 23, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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