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Unger Games

Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal

February 25, 2026

WASHINGTON, DC President Trump announced this afternoon that he would be awarding Winnipeg Jets/Team USA goaltender Connor Helleybuyck the nation’s highest civilian honour. “And that, of course, is that made up coal trophy I was […]

Unger Games

Carney to Melt Down All of Canada’s Unwanted Olympic Medals to Build High Speed Rail Line

February 24, 2026

TORONTO, ON It seems all the embarrassing defeats by Team Canada at the Olympics this year will not go to waste as Prime Minister Mark Carney has announced a plan to use all the unwanted […]

Unger Conviction

  • ‘Iron Maiden’ Performs to Sold Out Crowd at Local Mennonite Church
    November 17, 2018
  • Steinbach Residents Flock to Mini-churches Across the City
    May 27, 2016
  • Bible School Expands ‘Six Inch Rule’ to ‘Six Foot Rule’
    March 15, 2020

Unger & Thirst

  • Vacant Safeway Store to Become One Massive Tim Hortons
    August 8, 2016
  • Liquor Stores Remove Russian Vodka from Shelves Without Any Mennonites Noticing
    March 7, 2022
  • Lemonade Stand Money Goes Directly to Dad
    June 12, 2017

Unger the Influence

  • Andrew Unger Gifted Secondhand Nobel Prize for Literature
    January 21, 2026
  • American Soldiers Accidentally Invade Greenland Road
    January 17, 2026
  • Ottawa Disappointed with Gun Buyback Program in Mennonite Country
    January 11, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • ‘Free Cotton Swab’ Giveaway Has Mennonites Lined Up for Blocks
    June 15, 2020
  • Mennonite Hunter Shoots and Eats Groundhog, No Spring This Year
    February 2, 2019
  • A Quick Break From Our Regular Satirical Programming
    March 2, 2022
  • Mennonites Desperate to Find Some Relation to Davy Klaassen
    November 23, 2022

Trending

  • Manitoba Issues Province-wide “Yellow Snow” Warning
    February 17, 2026
  • I Searched the Epstein Files for Mennonite Content – This is What I Found
    February 16, 2026
  • France Humiliates Canada By Losing Only By a Score of 10-2
    February 15, 2026
  • Plane Takes Couple to La Crete, Alberta Instead of Greek Island
    February 14, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Canadian Supreme Court Rules ‘Curling is a Real Sport’
    October 4, 2022
  • Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez a Big Hit on Hutterite Colony
    February 18, 2019
  • Angry Mennonite Hockey Fan Can’t Figure Out “Waut de schissjat is wrong with those Jats yet!”
    April 7, 2019
  • Fred Penner and Al Simmons to Square Off in World Heavyweight Title
    July 14, 2019
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Connor Hellebuyck Reassures Jets Fans He Won’t Ever Play That Well Again

February 23, 2026

Massive Stockpile of Silver Medals Discovered at Local Thrift Store

February 22, 2026

Abbotsford Man Has No Excuse to Miss Church Tomorrow Since He’ll Be Up at 5 AM Anyway Watching Hockey

February 21, 2026

James Talarico Article Pulled from the Unger Review

February 19, 2026

Canadian Curler Accused of “Knipsing” Stone

February 18, 2026

Unger Games

  • Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal
    February 25, 2026
  • Carney to Melt Down All of Canada’s Unwanted Olympic Medals to Build High Speed Rail Line
    February 24, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Reassures Jets Fans He Won’t Ever Play That Well Again
    February 23, 2026
  • Massive Stockpile of Silver Medals Discovered at Local Thrift Store
    February 22, 2026
  • Abbotsford Man Has No Excuse to Miss Church Tomorrow Since He’ll Be Up at 5 AM Anyway Watching Hockey
    February 21, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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