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Unger Games

Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg

September 24, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB Inspired by goalie Connor Helleybuyck and quarterback Dieter Brock, the entire population of Winnipeg has requested a trade out of Winnipeg. “If I knew it was that easy, I would have done this […]

The Daily Bonnet

Left Lane Between Steinbach and Blumenort to be Designated “Slow Minivan Lane”

September 22, 2026

BLUMENORT, MB After extensive traffic studies on Highway 12 north of Steinbach this summer, the Manitoba Road Authority has decided to designate the left lane to be used exclusively by families driving excruciatingly slow and/or […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Pastor Forbids Standing in Church, Claims it ‘Leads to Dancing’
    May 26, 2017
  • Mennonite Church Seeks to End Drinking or Driving
    August 18, 2017
  • Mennonite Pastor Does ‘The Dab’ During Responsive Reading
    June 4, 2019

Unger & Thirst

  • Farmer Sausage Added to Subway Meat Options
    August 31, 2023
  • Mennonite Woman Has So Much Extra Rhubarb She Just Doesn’t Know What to Do with it All
    July 1, 2020
  • Mennonite Man Gives Up Rogers Golden Syrup During Dry January
    January 12, 2023

Unger the Influence

  • Trump Calls Andrew Unger “Untalented, Totally Not Funny,” Demands Cancellation of The Unger Review
    May 31, 2026
  • Trump to “Completely Destroy” Military He “Completely Destroyed” Last Week
    May 30, 2026
  • Carney Just One MP Resignation Away From Minority Government the People Voted For
    May 29, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • New Gun Control Laws Leave Local Man “Completely Defenceless” Against Government Armed with Tanks and Fighter Jets
    May 7, 2020
  • Mennonites are Turning their Old Laine Jerseys into Quilts
    January 24, 2021
  • Winnipeg Launches New Program to Care for Feral Mennonites
    January 9, 2024
  • No Picture
    Thrift Store Runs Out of Speedos as Temperatures Soar this January
    January 31, 2024

Trending

  • Carney Sends Mennonite Delegates to Negotiate with the EU
    September 16, 2026
  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026
  • Wab Kinew Returns to Steinbach to Mow the Boulevards
    September 14, 2026
  • Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’
    September 13, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Local Grow-ops Switch to Making Hand Sanitizer
    April 3, 2020
  • Tim Allen to Star in New Show ‘Last Mennonite Standing’
    September 27, 2018
  • Spoiler Alert: Simba is Pacifist in New ‘Lion King’ Remake
    November 28, 2018
  • Marie Kondo Inspires Huge Surge of Donations to Local Thrift Store
    April 26, 2019
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Electrician Busy Explaining to Concerned Mennonites what ‘AC/DC’ Really Means

September 21, 2026

Mennonite Woman Ruins Perfectly Good Cinnamon Buns By Adding Raisins

September 20, 2026

Ed Sheeran Drops Mennonite Choir from North American Tour

September 19, 2026

Australian Pastor Apologizes, Says He Shouldn’t Have Preached Hourlong Sermon with Diarrhea

September 18, 2026

Frugal Mennonites Excited for the Permanent Daylight Savings

September 17, 2026

Unger Games

  • Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg
    September 24, 2026
  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026
  • Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’
    September 13, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026
  • Massive Simon Hildebrandt Statue Appears Outside MBCI
    August 16, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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