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Unger Games

Conflict-Averse Mennonites Getting Really Into Soccer to Watch All the Ties

June 12, 2026

TORONTO, ON Thousands of Mennonites across Canada were relieved this afternoon after Canada ended their match with Croatia in a tie. “That way no one goes home happy,” said Pete Dyck of Kitchener. “You know, […]

Unger Games

Every Self-Respecting Mennonite Cheering for Paraguay in World Cup Opener Friday

June 11, 2026

LOS ANGELES, CA Every single Mennonite on the planet will be cheering on Paraguay as they face off against the Americans in the World Cup opener this Friday evening. “They’ll be cheering in Spanish. They’ll […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mysterious Formations Appear on Church Parking Lot Overnight
    March 21, 2026
  • Children Terrified as Puppets Launch into Fiery ‘Hell and Damnation’ Sermon
    August 17, 2018
  • Mennonite Church Bans TikTok From All Devices … But Only the Dancing Videos
    March 3, 2023

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Woman Feeds Entire Family for a Week on One Little Caesars Pizza
    March 11, 2024
  • Retiring Teacher Quickly Consumes 30 Years Worth of Apples
    June 29, 2017
  • Mennonite Woman Consumes 4L of Ice Cream Just for the Pail
    July 3, 2020

Unger the Influence

  • James Comey Indicted Over ‘606 47’ Seashell Photo
    May 3, 2026
  • Hog Farmers Concerned as Manitoba Seeks to Ban AI
    May 2, 2026
  • Doug Ford to Exclusively Travel by Horse and Buggy from Now On
    April 19, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Funeral Movie ‘The Burial’ Shocks Audiences with Sheer Lack of Pickles
    October 18, 2023
  • Assiniboine Zoo Now Has Higher Vaccination Rate than Southern Manitoba
    March 11, 2022
  • Mennonite Man Convinced He Has a 50% Chance of Winning 50/50 Draw
    August 7, 2021
  • Friesen from Reimer Avenue to Visit Reimer from Friesen Avenue
    October 15, 2021

Trending

  • Adventurous Manitoban Drives Right to the Top of Province’s Highest Mountain
    June 3, 2026
  • Mennonite Woman Creates Her Own Rhubarb-Flavoured Bubly
    June 2, 2026
  • Trump Calls Andrew Unger “Untalented, Totally Not Funny,” Demands Cancellation of The Unger Review
    May 31, 2026
  • Trump to “Completely Destroy” Military He “Completely Destroyed” Last Week
    May 30, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Saskatchewan Man Insists His Province is “Not that Flat” and You’re Just Seeing the Boring Part from the Highway
    July 21, 2022
  • Pharaoh’s Heart Hardened by Cracklings
    August 20, 2016
  • Mennonites React to Arrival of Amish in Manitoba
    November 9, 2017
  • Amish Village Wows Guests with Annual Christmas Light Display
    December 26, 2023
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Ottawa to Ban Social Media for Kids and Replace it with Hinterland Who’s Who

June 10, 2026

Mennonite Man Super Excited to Eat These Noah’s Ark Cookies

June 9, 2026

Mennonite Church to Host UFC Fight

June 7, 2026

Road Crews Really Busy This Summer Putting Out Pylons

June 6, 2026

Mennonite Man Installs New Inground Pool

June 4, 2026

Unger Games

  • Conflict-Averse Mennonites Getting Really Into Soccer to Watch All the Ties
    June 12, 2026
  • Every Self-Respecting Mennonite Cheering for Paraguay in World Cup Opener Friday
    June 11, 2026
  • Mennonite Church to Host UFC Fight
    June 7, 2026
  • Enhanced Games Allow Athletes to Use Summa Borscht
    May 28, 2026
  • Winnipeg Metro Region Hoists Centennial Cup
    May 18, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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