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The Daily Bonnet

Winkler to Set Clocks One Hour Ahead of Morden

November 1, 2026

WINKLER, MB When the Province announced that Manitobans would no longer be participating in the time change, the City of Winkler pounced on the opportunity to distinguish itself from neighbouring Morden. “We’re establishing a Winkler […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winnipeg Couple Dress as Country’s Scariest Creature: Canada Geese

October 31, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB First time trick-or-treaters Pete and Linda Siemens of North Kildonan had heard you were supposed to dress as something really really scary for Halloween. “So, naturally, we dressed as the scariest creature in […]

Unger Conviction

  • Hymn 606 to Undergo Major Overhaul
    January 25, 2017
  • Bible College Sells Record Number of Engagement Rings on Student Orientation Day
    August 28, 2024
  • Mennonite Man Wows Audience with Stunning Performance of that Piano Song You Play with Your Knuckles
    March 30, 2018

Unger & Thirst

  • New Steakhouse to Offer Extra Tough and Chewy Steak ‘Just the Way Mennonites Like It’
    March 25, 2024
  • Muffins “Baked with Love” Still a Little Bland
    July 9, 2019
  • Winnipeg Man Consumes All 183 ‘Burger Week’ Burgers
    September 6, 2023

Unger the Influence

  • Albertans to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Separation
    October 11, 2026
  • Pentagon Introduces New “Firing Squad” Video Game for Kids
    October 10, 2026
  • British Columbians Can’t Decide Which Mennonite to Vote For
    October 6, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Man Already Crafting His Snarky Rebuttal to Michael Zwaagstra’s Latest Column
    October 28, 2022
  • Mennonite Village Gets Downgraded to Darp Status
    September 25, 2018
  • Mennonite Man Assembles Every Single Piece of Furniture in His Entire House with Just this One Allen Key
    May 5, 2020
  • Matt Falk’s ‘That Mennonite Joke’ Rakes in Three Billion Dollars at the Box Office
    May 19, 2016

Trending

  • Winnipeg Mayoral Candidate Accidentally Uses Pictures of Winkler
    October 23, 2026
  • Edmonton Mennonites Big Fans of Mayor Knack-Zoat
    October 22, 2026
  • Roundup Introduces New Product to Eliminate Election Signs in Your Yard
    October 21, 2026
  • Mennonite Church’s Annual ‘Costume and Candy Party’ Eerily Similar to Halloween
    October 19, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Premier Pallister Invites Manitobans to Sign His Cast
    November 18, 2017
  • CNN Pleads with Biden to Start a Few More Wars
    August 20, 2021
  • Area Man Spends 10 Hours Trying to Figure Out Hotel Shower Controls
    July 3, 2026
  • Canadian Shoppers Concerned as Fargo Reinstates Wood Chipper Executions
    December 5, 2025
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Mennonite Couple Make Sure to Eat at Home Before Jets Game

October 30, 2026

City’s Top Chef Mortified to Discover His ‘Charcuterie Board’ is Just Glorified Faspa

October 29, 2026

Person Under 70 Shocks Community By Voting

October 28, 2026

Elizabeth Holmes Takes On Trajchtmoaka Job in Winkler

October 26, 2026

Mennonite Beats Mennonite with Votes from Mennonites

October 25, 2026

Unger Games

  • Mennonite Couple Make Sure to Eat at Home Before Jets Game
    October 30, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Leads League With Impressive 0.00 GAA So Far This Season
    October 5, 2026
  • Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg
    September 24, 2026
  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026
  • Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’
    September 13, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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