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The Daily Bonnet

Left Lane Between Steinbach and Blumenort to be Designated “Slow Minivan Lane”

September 22, 2026

BLUMENORT, MB After extensive traffic studies on Highway 12 north of Steinbach this summer, the Manitoba Road Authority has decided to designate the left lane to be used exclusively by families driving excruciatingly slow and/or […]

Unger Suspicion

Electrician Busy Explaining to Concerned Mennonites what ‘AC/DC’ Really Means

September 21, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB Local retired electrician Timothy Reimer, 88, had quite the busy evening as AC/DC took to the stage at Princess Auto Stadium this weekend. “All these concerned Mennonites were standing outside the stadium with […]

Unger Conviction

  • Local Heart Surgeon Locates Jesus
    December 1, 2018
  • Mennonite Child’s Macaroni Art Purchased by the Louvre
    October 5, 2018
  • Christian Service Brigade Defends Church Basement from Invading Pioneer Girls
    October 21, 2021

Unger & Thirst

  • 24 Hours Later, Dad is Still Going Back for “Just One More Plate”
    June 18, 2018
  • Mennonite Man Impressed with Such Large Portions of Such Poor Quality Food
    January 3, 2025
  • Squeaky Cheese Curds Heard a Mile Away
    May 6, 2019

Unger the Influence

  • Trump Calls Andrew Unger “Untalented, Totally Not Funny,” Demands Cancellation of The Unger Review
    May 31, 2026
  • Trump to “Completely Destroy” Military He “Completely Destroyed” Last Week
    May 30, 2026
  • Carney Just One MP Resignation Away From Minority Government the People Voted For
    May 29, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Dutch Blitz Players Now Required to Wear Full Body Armour
    June 13, 2017
  • Mennonite Family Working on Same Jigsaw Puzzle Since 1987
    January 6, 2020
  • Henry Reimer to Move to the Corner of Henry and Reimer
    April 17, 2017
  • A Gallery of Hilarious Mennonite Gravestones
    January 1, 2018

Trending

  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026
  • Wab Kinew Returns to Steinbach to Mow the Boulevards
    September 14, 2026
  • Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’
    September 13, 2026
  • Premier Wab Kinew Finally Visits Steinbach Just as Every Local Politician is Mysteriously Out of Town
    September 12, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Sump Pump Awarded Order of Manitoba
    May 5, 2022
  • What a $5 Million House Looks Like in Toronto
    June 25, 2023
  • Voters Head to the Polls to Select the 45th Lesser Evil of the United States
    November 8, 2016
  • Loewen Family Totally Destroys Dueck Family
    January 20, 2019
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Mennonite Woman Ruins Perfectly Good Cinnamon Buns By Adding Raisins

September 20, 2026

Ed Sheeran Drops Mennonite Choir from North American Tour

September 19, 2026

Australian Pastor Apologizes, Says He Shouldn’t Have Preached Hourlong Sermon with Diarrhea

September 18, 2026

Frugal Mennonites Excited for the Permanent Daylight Savings

September 17, 2026

Carney Sends Mennonite Delegates to Negotiate with the EU

September 16, 2026

Unger Games

  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026
  • Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’
    September 13, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026
  • Massive Simon Hildebrandt Statue Appears Outside MBCI
    August 16, 2026
  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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