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Unger Suspicion

Prime Minister, Bryan Adams Share Roll Kuchen in Altona

September 5, 2026

ALTONA, MB Prime Minister Mark Carney and singer songwriter Bryan Adams were spotted wolfing down roll kuchen and rabus at the annual Altona Mennonite church picnic this weekend. “I mean he’s no Justin Trudeau, but […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Man Takes 5 Hours to Pass Semi

September 3, 2026

MOOSOMIN, SK Area man Bob Sawatzky took just 5 hours to pass a semi on the highway this week, the fastest time ever recorded by a Mennonite. “I figured he was going 100,” said Bob, […]

Unger Conviction

  • Poppy and Peace Button Wage War for Space on Mennonite Man’s Lapel
    November 11, 2019
  • 10 Totally Bogus Religious Exemptions You Can Demand Right Now!
    October 29, 2021
  • Mennonite Hymn Reaches #1 After Inclusion on ‘Stranger Things’
    April 10, 2024

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Woman Calls 911 Because Her Whopper is Not a Big Mac
    February 24, 2023
  • Billionaires Rescued from Meatball Sub
    June 21, 2023
  • Supply Chain Crisis Now Threatening Papsi and Ravels
    December 6, 2021

Unger the Influence

  • Carney Just One MP Resignation Away From Minority Government the People Voted For
    May 29, 2026
  • Carney to Raze 72 Million Acres of Old Growth Forest to Make Copies of Guilbeault’s Resignation Letter
    May 27, 2026
  • Trump Really Excited About New $1.8 Billion Slush Fund
    May 20, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Man Gives Throne Speech
    May 27, 2025
  • Black Bumper Mennonite Develops Severe Chrome Fetish
    December 8, 2016
  • Grandpa Wiebe Knipses Twelve Twenties in a Row
    December 22, 2017
  • Abbotsford Couple Excited for New ‘Downtown Abby’ Movie
    September 28, 2019

Trending

  • Toddler Demands Lake Ontario Be Renamed Lake Poopy Pants
    August 27, 2026
  • Trump To Relocate Mines From Strait of Hormuz To Lake Ontario
    August 26, 2026
  • Trump Threatens to Rename Lake Winnipeg if Wab Kinew Doesn’t Stop Saying Mean Things About Him
    August 25, 2026
  • Mennonites Demand Low German on Cereal Boxes
    August 24, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Quick Internet Search Proves Area Man Was Right All Along
    December 21, 2024
  • ‘Mount Kenaston’ Ski Hill Closes for the Season
    March 2, 2019
  • Royal Couple Name Newborn Baby “Prince Corny”
    April 24, 2018
  • Regina and Saskatoon Merge to Attract IKEA and a Hockey Team
    January 16, 2023
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Mennonite Woman in Existential Crisis at Grocery Store

September 2, 2026

Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights

September 1, 2026

Mennonite Man Introduces Japanese A5 Wagyu Jreewe

August 30, 2026

Winkler Attempts to Rename Morden

August 29, 2026

Mennonite Child Suspended for Speaking Low German at Recess

August 28, 2026

Unger Games

  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026
  • Massive Simon Hildebrandt Statue Appears Outside MBCI
    August 16, 2026
  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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