The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger
Unger Suspicion

Prime Minister, Bryan Adams Share Roll Kuchen in Altona

September 5, 2026

ALTONA, MB Prime Minister Mark Carney and singer songwriter Bryan Adams were spotted wolfing down roll kuchen and rabus at the annual Altona Mennonite church picnic this weekend. “I mean he’s no Justin Trudeau, but […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Man Takes 5 Hours to Pass Semi

September 3, 2026

MOOSOMIN, SK Area man Bob Sawatzky took just 5 hours to pass a semi on the highway this week, the fastest time ever recorded by a Mennonite. “I figured he was going 100,” said Bob, […]

Unger Conviction

  • College and Career Glow Bowling Event Results in Record Number of Hook-Ups
    October 20, 2016
  • Church Launches New Program: ‘Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner and Staying All Night?’
    May 7, 2019
  • Mennonite Church Rules Thumbs Up Emoji Counts as Legally Binding Marriage Proposal
    July 7, 2023

Unger & Thirst

  • Wild Night Ensues After Mennonite Woman Spikes Schoofly Pie
    March 23, 2018
  • Mennonite Men to Hold Bi-Weekly Schnettje-Konferenz on the Corner of Main and Reimer
    December 14, 2019
  • Wine Ninjas Accidentally Deliver to Mennonite Woman
    May 18, 2020

Unger the Influence

  • Carney Just One MP Resignation Away From Minority Government the People Voted For
    May 29, 2026
  • Carney to Raze 72 Million Acres of Old Growth Forest to Make Copies of Guilbeault’s Resignation Letter
    May 27, 2026
  • Trump Really Excited About New $1.8 Billion Slush Fund
    May 20, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Golfer Spends Three Hours Looking for Lost Ball
    September 22, 2016
  • Funk and Reimer Team Up on New Pop Album
    September 2, 2019
  • Local Woman Completely Hooked on The Mennodalorian
    January 25, 2021
  • Facebook Bans Mennonite Ladies from Posting Pictures of Flowers
    August 24, 2016

Trending

  • Toddler Demands Lake Ontario Be Renamed Lake Poopy Pants
    August 27, 2026
  • Trump To Relocate Mines From Strait of Hormuz To Lake Ontario
    August 26, 2026
  • Trump Threatens to Rename Lake Winnipeg if Wab Kinew Doesn’t Stop Saying Mean Things About Him
    August 25, 2026
  • Mennonites Demand Low German on Cereal Boxes
    August 24, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Toronto Man Arrested for Pronouncing the Second T
    August 21, 2021
  • Twitter Mourns the Loss of Jerry Lee Lewis
    August 20, 2017
  • Timothéeee Chalamet Adds a Couple Extra E’s
    November 16, 2021
  • Man Stands Up During Q&A to Tell His Entire Life Story
    September 6, 2025
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

Mennonite Woman in Existential Crisis at Grocery Store

September 2, 2026

Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights

September 1, 2026

Mennonite Man Introduces Japanese A5 Wagyu Jreewe

August 30, 2026

Winkler Attempts to Rename Morden

August 29, 2026

Mennonite Child Suspended for Speaking Low German at Recess

August 28, 2026

Unger Games

  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026
  • Massive Simon Hildebrandt Statue Appears Outside MBCI
    August 16, 2026
  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved