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Unger Suspicion

Massive Algae Bloom Discovered Beneath Gordie Howe Bridge

July 22, 2026

WINDSOR-DETROIT Moments after the US struck a deal to take over the Gordie Howe Bridge, a massive algae bloom was discovered in the Detroit River. “Someone cut it, cut it with a boxcutter or something,” […]

Unger & Thirst

Area Couple Enjoys Delicious Meal of Authentic Mennonite Food

July 21, 2026

ABBOTSFORD, BC Local couple Diane and Pete Kroeker decided they’d go for some authentic Mennonite food this evening, so naturally they went to their favourite Indian restaurant. “What were you expecting? Vereniki and schmaunt fat?” […]

Unger Conviction

  • ‘Iron Maiden’ Performs to Sold Out Crowd at Local Mennonite Church
    November 17, 2018
  • New ‘Transformers’ Movie to Feature Mennonites Who Are One Way on Sunday and Totally Different the Rest of the Week
    December 8, 2021
  • Dusty Springfield Song Haunts Pastor’s Son His Whole Life
    September 24, 2020

Unger & Thirst

  • Stash of Roll Kuchen Discovered Beneath Trudeau’s Desk
    March 21, 2019
  • ‘Summer McIntosh Borscht’: Mennonites Rename Soup in Honour of Swimmer
    August 1, 2024
  • Ra’bus Shortage Leaves Mennonites Eating Dry Roll Kuchen
    June 27, 2020

Unger the Influence

  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026
  • James Comey Indicted Over ‘606 47’ Seashell Photo
    May 3, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Bart Simpson Calls Moe’s Tavern to Ask for ‘Anita Dyck’
    July 5, 2024
  • Completely Exhausted With Politics, Mennonites Return to Their Farms
    November 9, 2016
  • Mennonite Couple Prefers to be Three Hours Early Rather than Three Minutes Late
    December 20, 2021
  • Top Five Ways to Fight Oma Krahn
    January 8, 2022

Trending

  • Folk Fest Attendee Sells Spot in the Shade for $500 a Square Foot
    July 14, 2026
  • Thousands of Canadians Flock to Mexico to Cool Off this Summer
    July 13, 2026
  • Mennonite Women are Shedding their Düaks During Heat Wave
    July 12, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Yosemite Sam Gives Up His Guns, Plans to Attend Anabaptist Seminary this Fall
    June 13, 2020
  • Generous Jeff Bezos Donates Two Thimbles and a Couple Spools of Thread to Mennonite Quilt Charity
    January 19, 2020
  • Winnipeg’s Garbage Hill to Be Returned to its Former Glory
    September 11, 2018
  • Area Man Deteles 6-Motnh Old Tweet After Discovreing Typo
    February 27, 2023
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Christopher Nolan Casts Pacifist Mennonite Farmer as Odysseus

July 20, 2026

US Strikes Iran With Their Most Powerful Weapon: Taco Bell Lettuce

July 19, 2026

Trump to Fence Off the Border to Keep Out Canadian Smoke

July 18, 2026

Mennonite Woman Lucks Out With New Licence Plate

July 16, 2026

Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again

July 15, 2026

Unger Games

  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026
  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026
  • Canada Loses to Morocco After Not Getting Enough Pucks to the Net
    July 5, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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