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Unger Suspicion

New UN Map Finally Shows Paraguay At Its Actual Size

September 8, 2026

ASCUNCION, PARAGUAY Hans Toews of Fernheim Colony, Paraguay was super excited this week after he learned that his country was finally going to be accurately represented on UN maps. “Not only that,” said Toews. “But […]

Unger Suspicion

Prime Minister, Bryan Adams Share Roll Kuchen in Altona

September 5, 2026

ALTONA, MB Prime Minister Mark Carney and singer songwriter Bryan Adams were spotted wolfing down roll kuchen and rabus at the annual Altona Mennonite church picnic this weekend. “I mean he’s no Justin Trudeau, but […]

Unger Conviction

  • Only Two More Weeks Until Mennonites Have to Go Back to Church
    August 17, 2024
  • Top 10 Most Amazing Mennonite Albums Found at the Local MCC Store
    November 24, 2021
  • Pastor Mansplains for 40 Minutes this Morning
    July 16, 2017

Unger & Thirst

  • Fast Food Chain Sells Farmer Sausage Filled with 80% Sawdust
    January 26, 2019
  • Mennonite Woman Hires Connor Hellebuyck to Strain Her Potatoes
    December 2, 2018
  • Delicious Rhubarb Platz Found in Sarah Polley’s Oscar Gift Bag
    March 13, 2023

Unger the Influence

  • Carney Just One MP Resignation Away From Minority Government the People Voted For
    May 29, 2026
  • Carney to Raze 72 Million Acres of Old Growth Forest to Make Copies of Guilbeault’s Resignation Letter
    May 27, 2026
  • Trump Really Excited About New $1.8 Billion Slush Fund
    May 20, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Penner and Penner to Breed Purebred Penner Children
    June 3, 2017
  • Mennonite Man Just Happens to Find Unattended Amazon Packages on Front Doorsteps All Over Town
    July 11, 2021
  • 10 Mennonites Who Are Spelling Their Last Names Incorrectly
    December 24, 2023
  • Mennonite Man Lives the Exact Same Day Over and Over and Over
    February 2, 2017

Trending

  • Mennonite Child Suspended for Speaking Low German at Recess
    August 28, 2026
  • Toddler Demands Lake Ontario Be Renamed Lake Poopy Pants
    August 27, 2026
  • Trump To Relocate Mines From Strait of Hormuz To Lake Ontario
    August 26, 2026
  • Trump Threatens to Rename Lake Winnipeg if Wab Kinew Doesn’t Stop Saying Mean Things About Him
    August 25, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • All Air Canada Flights to be Equipped with Screaming Infants
    September 4, 2023
  • Hollywood’s Biggest Stars Gather to Celebrate One Full Year of Not Saying Something Stupid Enough on Twitter to Get Cancelled
    February 28, 2021
  • Canada and Denmark Reach Settlement Over Disputed Nikolaj Ehlers
    June 21, 2022
  • Manitoba Government Declares Winter Over as of March 1
    March 3, 2022
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Mennonite Man Takes 5 Hours to Pass Semi

September 3, 2026

Mennonite Woman in Existential Crisis at Grocery Store

September 2, 2026

Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights

September 1, 2026

Mennonite Man Introduces Japanese A5 Wagyu Jreewe

August 30, 2026

Winkler Attempts to Rename Morden

August 29, 2026

Unger Games

  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026
  • Massive Simon Hildebrandt Statue Appears Outside MBCI
    August 16, 2026
  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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