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Unger Suspicion

Area Man Has No Idea His AI-Generated Poster is a Total Shit Show

July 2, 2026

MITCHELL, MB Area man Dan Kehler proudly displayed his AI-generated poster this week, apparently completely oblivious to the fact it’s a total shit show. “Come one come all to the annual church potluck,” said Kehler. […]

Unger Suspicion

Canadians Accidentally Set Off Fireworks 3 Days Early

July 1, 2026

ABBOTSFORD, BC Residents of Sumas, Washington were completely baffled by the huge display of fireworks over the border in Abbotsford, BC this evening. “What are they doing? Practicing?” pondered Mrs. Schmidt of Sumas. “They had […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Brethren and General Conference Forced to Share Folklorama Pavilion
    August 12, 2017
  • Guilt Levels Reach Record Lows as Mennonites Stay Home on Sundays
    March 24, 2020
  • Felix Manz, Forgotten Second Rebaptizer, Declared “Buzz Aldrin” of the Anabaptists
    January 22, 2025

Unger & Thirst

  • Innovative New Packaging Only Openable with Teeth
    September 17, 2025
  • Road Closures Cut Off Paska Supply
    April 15, 2022
  • Mennonite Woman Concerned About Her Stock After Markets Tumble
    March 28, 2025

Unger the Influence

  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026
  • James Comey Indicted Over ‘606 47’ Seashell Photo
    May 3, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • ’25 Minutes to Steinbach’ Sign Fails to Withstand Scientific Testing
    April 3, 2017
  • Wedding Venue Offers 10% Discount During Manure Spreading Season
    May 2, 2025
  • Man Buys Over a Million Dollars in Co-op Gas Just to Get a Huge Dividend Cheque
    January 9, 2017
  • Mennonite Man Can’t Decide Whether Politician He Hates is a Nazi or a Commie
    September 17, 2021

Trending

  • Vandals Caddyshack the Reflecting Pool
    June 26, 2026
  • 300-Foot Gash Appears in MB Church Baptismal Tank
    June 25, 2026
  • Mennonite Man Leaves Faspa Early to Avoid Cleaning Up the Chairs
    June 24, 2026
  • Libertarian Accidentally Walks Down Public Sidewalk
    June 23, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • World Panics as Every Single Person’s Internet Browsing History is Exposed on Wikileaks
    September 20, 2016
  • NHL Announces Expansion to Tiny Mennonite Village
    June 22, 2016
  • New Olympic-size Swimming Pool Opens in Winnipeg
    April 13, 2023
  • Perfumer Releases New ‘Urine and Weed’ Scent in Tribute to New York City
    October 15, 2024
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Paraguay Defeats Germany Thanks to the Prayers of 100,000 Mennonites

June 30, 2026

Taco Bell Unveils New Logo

June 29, 2026

Leamington Residents Celebrate Canada’s World Cup Victory with Giant Ketchup-Covered Vereniki

June 28, 2026

Winnipeg Jets Select Björk in First Round

June 27, 2026

Mennonite Man Fakes Injury to Avoid Church this Morning

June 27, 2026

Unger Games

  • Paraguay Defeats Germany Thanks to the Prayers of 100,000 Mennonites
    June 30, 2026
  • Leamington Residents Celebrate Canada’s World Cup Victory with Giant Ketchup-Covered Vereniki
    June 28, 2026
  • Winnipeg Jets Select Björk in First Round
    June 27, 2026
  • Recently Retired Jonathan Toews Scrambles to Get His Name on the Fernwood Waiting List
    June 20, 2026
  • Canadians Celebrate as List of ‘Sports We Don’t Suck At’ Balloons to Two
    June 18, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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