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choir

Unger Suspicion

Ed Sheeran Drops Mennonite Choir from North American Tour

September 19, 2026 Andrew

FOXBOROUGH, MA Soft pop rock singer-songwriter Ed Sheeran has dropped a Mennonite choir from his North American tour after finding out they were pacifists. “I don’t like to get political,” said Sheeran, “but when I […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Unveils New “Choir of the Runny Noses”

October 2, 2022 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON After two years of suppressing every cough, sneeze, and sniffle, the folks at Third Mennonite Church of Kitchener have decided to let it all out and make a joyful noise unto the Lord. […]

Unger Games

Modestly Attired Mennonite Women to Perform at Next Year’s Super Bowl Halftime Show

February 6, 2020 Andrew

TAMPA, FL After millions of Mennonites turned off their television sets (if they had them) and washed their eyes out with soap at this year’s Super Bowl, the NFL has announced that a choir of […]

Unger Conviction

Choir Director Admits He Really Doesn’t Know What the Heck He’s Doing with His Arms

March 18, 2018 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Mr. Peter Friesen, choir director at Third Mennonite Church in Saskatoon, admitted in a candid interview this past week that he’s basically just standing up there and flailing his arms about randomly. “It’s […]

Uncategorized

‘Choose the band from this list I have not seen in concert’: by Uncle Corny Loewen

April 28, 2017 Andrew

BY: ONKEL CORNY LOEWEN Oba, so on the Internets I noticed all these Enjelsch people posting lists of the music groups they have gone to see at the local barn loft or whatever. Well, I’ve gone […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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