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Month: August 2019

Unger Suspicion

Families Ripped Apart After Riders Fan Marries Bombers Fan

August 31, 2019 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Local Penner and Wiebe gatherings will never be the same after Rider fan Julie Penner, 19, married Bomber fan Timothy Wiebe, 20, in a secret ceremony somewhere in rural Saskatchewan this afternoon. […]

Unger & Thirst

Everyone’s Grandma is the Very Best Cook in the Entire World

August 30, 2019 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON A report out of the University of Kitchener this week confirms what everyone knew all along that their own grandma is the “very best cook in the entire world.” “We tested the cooking […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Teens Excommunicated for Not ‘Following Back’ the Youth Pastor

August 29, 2019 Andrew

NEWTON, KS Seven Mennonite teens have been excommunicated from their church this week after failing to follow back the youth pastor on Instagram. “Here I am trying to build up a decent list and these […]

Unger & Thirst

Manitoba Couple Forgets to Bring “the Good Farmer Sausage” on Trip to Alberta

August 28, 2019 Andrew

TABER, AB The Doerksens of Altona disappointed a whole community of Alberta Mennonites this week after completely forgetting to bring the “good farmer sausage” with them on a recent trip. “We were in such a […]

The Daily Bonnet

Where did you meet your Mennonite spouse?

August 27, 2019 Andrew

There are only so many places that Mennonites meet. In order to get a better sense of just where these meetings occur, the Daily Bonnet Sociological Society has established this survey. So, where did you […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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