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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Installs New Inground Pool

June 4, 2026 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN Local man Johan Miller has always wanted a good quality inground pool, which he feels will be especially refreshing during the hot summer months. “But I wasn’t going to pay Home Depot prices,” […]

The Daily Bonnet

Trump Calls Andrew Unger “Untalented, Totally Not Funny,” Demands Cancellation of The Unger Review

May 31, 2026 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC As part of his ongoing war on comedy, President Trump launched a series of attacks against Mennonite humourist Andrew Unger last night. “Totally untalented, not funny. Nobody reads The Unger Review. His ratings […]

The Daily Bonnet

Petro-Canada Introduces New Farmer Sausage-Scented Air Fresheners

May 26, 2026 Andrew

ALTONA, MB A new formavorscht-scented car air freshener has been flying off the shelves at gas stations this past week, with Mennonites throughout the region eager to have their truck cabs smell of smoked meat. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Potato Discovered in Mennonite Man’s Vereniki

May 21, 2026 Andrew

BURNS LAKE, BC Thomas Redekop, 54, of Burns Lake, BC was in for the surprise of his life after he cut into a delicious perogy only to discover the entire thing was filled with a […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Permanently Trapped in New Landmark Roundabout

May 19, 2026 Andrew

LANDMARK, MB Landmark woman Mrs. Plett (of course) was eager to try out the new roundabout just as construction is beginning and has already gotten herself trapped in a never ending loop. “This doesn’t bode […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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