The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About The Unger Review
  • Andrew Unger

The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

Brought to you by:

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Refuses to Watch ‘Women Talking’ but Really Loves ‘12 Angry Men’

March 18, 2023 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local film buff, Abe B. Dyck, 68, says he has absolutely no interest in watching a film called Women Talking, saying he usually spends his weekends rewatching 12 Angry Men over and over. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winnipeg Wonders: How Many Mennonites Does it Take to Change a Purple Lightbulb?

March 15, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After thousands of LED streetlights have appeared rather lavender in recent months, many locals are wondering just how many Mennonites it takes to change a purple lightbulb. “We’ve had to completely rethink the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Shocked as Oscar Announcer Pronounces ‘Toews’ Correctly

March 14, 2023 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA The most shocking moment in Sunday’s Oscar broadcast was not a slap or an errant envelope, but the fact that the Oscar folks pronounced ‘Toews’ correctly. “Oh, great, here it comes. He’s going […]

The Daily Bonnet

Entire City of Steinbach Stymied by Globe and Mail Paywall

March 12, 2023 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Moments after learning the city had made national news yet again, thousands of Steinbachers clamoured to find out what was said about them. “Ugh. Paywall. Typical,” said Mrs. Plett, who was attempting to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Accidentally Sports Hip Cottagecore Outfit

March 9, 2023 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Mrs. Janzen of Leamington was in the big city this week to covertly watch Women Talking, where her super fashionable attire drew more attention than she had anticipated. “Apparently I’m ‘cottagecore,’” said Janzen, sporting a […]

Posts navigation

1 2 … 216 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Mennonite Woman Attends Super Bowl Party Just for the Snacks
    February 12, 2023
  • Donald Trump Gives Huge Tax Break to Anyone Willing to Wear One of Those Stupid ‘Make America Great Again’ Hats
    December 29, 2017
  • Mannanite Man Can’t Hear His Own Acksant
    December 2, 2016
  • United States Signs $110 Billion Weapons Deal with Random Guy on eBay
    May 25, 2017
  • Mennonite Folklorama Pavilion the Only One Without Booze or Dancing
    August 10, 2018

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2023 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved