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Month: October 2016

Unger Conviction

Area Couple Hands Out Gospel Tracts to Trick-or-Treaters

October 31, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Never wanting to miss an opportunity to spread the Good News, local couple Marvin and Brenda Brandt of Steinbach decided they would shatter the hopes and dreams of every young child who came to their […]

Unger Suspicion

Road Construction Complete Just in Time for Blizzard Season

October 31, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB After a summer and fall of road work on every single street in town, where traffic had ground to a halt, many of Steinbach’s roads have finally reopened just in time for the […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Lady Accused of Hoarding Prized Hutterite Chickens

October 30, 2016 Andrew

LINDEN, AB Local home cook Mrs. Margaret Martens of Linden arrived early in the morning the day after butchering day to buy up as many chickens as she could from the area Hutterite colony. Martens […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Hires CNN to ‘Fact-Check’ Her Husband

October 30, 2016 Andrew

ANAHEIM, CA Tired of “his constant BS,” local Mennonite woman, Mary Penner, 75, of Anaheim, decided to submit her husband Pete to a CNN Reality Check. “I just wasn’t sure that what he was telling […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Grandma Arrested for Force-Feeding Unsuspecting Grandson

October 29, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Mennonite grandmother Betsy Petkau, 63, was arrested this week after using her charm and persistence to convince her twenty-year-old grandson Jeff to eat an entire roast chicken and two gallons of potato salad. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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