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Unger the Influence

Unger the Influence

Morden to Probe Alleged Winkler Election Interference

March 7, 2023 Andrew

MORDEN, MB New evidence suggests Winklerites were trying to influence the voting at the Miss Morden Corn and Apple Festival pageant last year. This finding greatly concerns Morden’s Corn and Apple committee who are going […]

Unger the Influence

Mennonites Worried Trudeau is Trying to Seize their Buns

February 18, 2023 Andrew

VANKLA, MB Mennonites across southern Manitoba have been greatly distressed over the past few months upon hearing the news that Trudeau is planning to take away their buns. “Ach! That Trudeau! This is exactly what […]

Unger the Influence

MP Candice Bergen Steps Down to Return to Glamorous Life in Hollywood

February 3, 2023 Andrew

MORDEN, MB After fifteen years representing the good folks of Portage Lisgar in the House of Commons, MP Candice Bergen has stepped down to return to the set of hit 1990s sitcom Murphy Brown. “As […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Communities Eager to Put a Siemens in Charge

November 12, 2022 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC (with files from WINKLER, MB) There is a growing trend in traditionally-Mennonite communities across Canada – putting a Siemens in charge. This month civic elections in both Abbotsford and Winkler sent a Siemens to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Midterm ‘Red Wave’ Turns Out To Be Nothing But Farmer Sausage

November 11, 2022 Andrew

TOPEKA, KS Desperate for a narrative that would prove their analysis correct, dozens of political pundits are now saying that the “red wave” they’d been predicting for weeks was actually nothing more than a huge […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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