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Articles by Andrew

Unger & Thirst

Winkler Co-op Named One of “World’s Greatest Places” by TIME Magazine

March 30, 2023 Andrew

WINKLER, MB TIME magazine has just declared the Co-op in Winker as one of the top 100 “greatest places in the world.” “That’s just one more feather in our cap,” said Winkler mayor Henry Siemens. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Vinyl Outsells CDs at MCC Store for the First Time Since 1987

March 29, 2023 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK For the first time in more than 30 years, the local MCC store sold more copies of the various vinyl iterations of the Plett Family Singers than they did of the CDs […]

Unger Suspicion

Mickey Mouse Learns Plautdietsch to Accommodate All the Mennonites at Disney World Right Now

March 28, 2023 Andrew

ORLANDO, FL With a bevy of cheap flights sending Mennonites to Florida this week, residents of Disney World have been brushing up on their Plautdietsch, not to mention the theme park’s record-setting order of roll […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Confuses Wendy’s Ketchup Cup for Communion

March 27, 2023 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local man Steve Wiens, 40, was very excited to pump his own ketchup at the local Wendy’s restaurant this week, especially given that it was Communion Sunday. “Oh look, communion cups!” proclaimed Wiens, […]

Unger Suspicion

City of Winnipeg Seeks to Modernize Rapid Transit System

March 26, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After years of lagging behind other comparable cities, Winnipeg has finally decided it’s time to modernize its rapid transit system by hiring rusty pickup trucks to take passengers up and down Henderson Highway. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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