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Unger Suspicion

Unger Games

Canadian Swifties Demand Taylor Date at Least One CFL Star

September 25, 2023 Andrew

TORONTO, ON After word got out that Taylor Swift was dating NFL star Travis Kelce, north-of-the-border Swifties are demanding that she “stop ignoring our league.” “What has she got against Canadian football? There’s a lot […]

Unger Suspicion

50 Cent and Nickelback Team Up to Offer 45 Cent Concert Tickets

September 16, 2023 Andrew

HANNA, AB Rapper 50 Cent and rockers Nickelback are embarking on a cross-continent co-headlining concert tour with prices at just 45 cents a ticket. “We’re going to visit all the small town fall suppers this […]

Unger Suspicion

Bargain-Hungry Mennonites Fill Arena for 50 Cent Concert

September 13, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Early estimates indicate “more than half of Winkler” is at the 50 Cent concert in Winnipeg tonight. Never wanting to pass up a bargain, even Winkler’s staunchest country fans were persuaded to take […]

Unger Suspicion

Amana Releases New ‘Throwback’ Dishwasher

September 12, 2023 Andrew

AMANA, IA The Inspirationalist colonies of Amana, Iowa have released a brand new dishwasher that will give people that warm fuzzy feeling of childhood. “We really think people are going to just love our new […]

Unger Suspicion

Sean Penn Confesses He’s Really a Penner

September 9, 2023 Andrew

SANTA MONICA, CA Hollywood icon Sean Penn appeared on The View today and confessed that he shortened his name name back in 1978 so as “not to appear too Mennonite.” “I’m a Penner,” said Penn. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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