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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Angry Winnipeggers Demand Local Restaurant Installs Giant Animatronic Mouse to Entertain the Kids

November 9, 2026 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB When a new Winnipeg restaurant announced this week they would be prohibiting children under 15 from dining at their establishment, thousands of furious Winnipeggers took to the streets to demand not only that […]

Unger Suspicion

Wab Kinew Accidentally Sets Manitoba on Permanent Summer

November 7, 2026 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB A clerical error at the Legislative building in Winnipeg has meant that Manitoba has been permanently set to mid-September temperatures. “Ever since Wab Kinew brought in Permanent Daylight Savings the temperatures have been […]

Unger Suspicion

Winnipeg Man Absolutely Exhausted Due to Lack of Time Change

November 3, 2026 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Area plumber Dave Warkentin woke up really tired this morning due to the lack of time change. “Ugh, it’s that time of year again where we don’t change the clocks,” said Warkentin. “I […]

Unger Suspicion

Elizabeth Holmes Takes On Trajchtmoaka Job in Winkler

October 26, 2026 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Convicted fraudster and medical inventor Elizabeth Holmes is set to be released from prison and will be setting up shop in Winkler, Manitoba. “Where I’ll be knisping and knacking to cure whatever ails […]

Unger Suspicion

American School Bans ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’ For Being Canadian

October 14, 2026 Andrew

COUNCIL BLUFFS, IA School districts across the United States have banned controversial Margaret Atwood novel The Handmaid’s Tale for containing “disturbing Canadian content.” “We have to protect our kids from reading Canadian literature,” said local parent Tiffany […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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