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Unger Conviction

Unger Conviction

Mr. Harms Promises He Won’t Hurt Anybody

April 22, 2026 Andrew

MARTENSVILLE, SK The folks in Martensville were on high alert this week after it was announced that Mr. Harms from Waldheim would be speaking in church next Sunday. “Nah, oba. I don’t like the sound […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Wears His Very Best Carhartt to Church

April 12, 2026 Andrew

AYLMER, ON After months of reminders from his wife Susie to “dress sharp” for church once in a while, area man Rob Letkeman decided to wear his very best Carhartt jacket this Sunday. “And Carhartt […]

Unger Conviction

Mysterious Formations Appear on Church Parking Lot Overnight

March 21, 2026 Andrew

VANDERHOOF, BC Pastor Dave pulled up onto the lot this morning for his marriage counselling sessions with the Thiessens only to find that the entire lot was covered with mysterious black circles and the whole […]

Unger Conviction

Abbotsford Man Has No Excuse to Miss Church Tomorrow Since He’ll Be Up at 5 AM Anyway Watching Hockey

February 21, 2026 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Jacob Fehr of Abbotsford has been rather sporadic in his church attendance as of late, but Pastor Dan says he has absolutely no reason to miss church tomorrow since he’ll be up by […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Choir to Perform at Extra-Alternative Halftime Show

February 8, 2026 Andrew

FRESNO, CA For those looking for an alternative halftime show to either Bad Bunny or Kid Rock, the Fresno Central Mennonite Church is inviting guests to listen to their choir this afternoon. “We felt that […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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