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Unger Conviction

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church’s Annual ‘Costume and Candy Party’ Eerily Similar to Halloween

October 19, 2026 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB The local MBGC church invites everyone to dress up like their favourite movie character and come sit around drinking Papsi and eating candy in the church basement this evening. “We’ll be decorating everything […]

Unger Conviction

Alberta Separatists Hire Mennonites to Show Them How It’s Done

October 17, 2026 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Days before the referendum, Alberta separatists have hired the world-renowned experts on splits and schisms – the Mennonites. “If we’re gonna split over trivial differences, who better than the Mennonites to help us […]

Unger Conviction

Australian Pastor Apologizes, Says He Shouldn’t Have Preached Hourlong Sermon with Diarrhea

September 18, 2026 Andrew

BAULKHAM HILLS, AUSTRALIA Pastor Dave of Waters of Blessing megachurch in New South Wales, Australia is apologizing to the congregation, and the choir behind him, after preaching an hourlong sermon while suffering from a particularly […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Narrowly Escapes Church Service in Catering Truck

August 20, 2026 Andrew

MOUNTAIN LAKE, MN Area man Donald Ausfahrt narrowly escaped the imminent threat of having to clean up the chairs after the church potluck this week. Ausfahrt led everyone to believe he was in the back […]

Unger Conviction

General Conference Strikes Last Minute Deal to Lift Tariffs on Mennonite Brethren

August 17, 2026 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN Just as US President Donald Trump seems hellbent on starting trade wars (and real wars) around the globe, the Mennonite Brethren and Mennonite Church have inked a brand new free trade deal that […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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