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Unger & Thirst

Schmaunt Fat Soars to $100 a Barrel

March 10, 2026

LEAMINGTON, ON When the Leamington Exchange ended trading on Monday, the price of schmaunt fat closed at a record high of $106.06 a barrel, smashing the previous record. As a result of soaring schmaunt fat […]

Unger & Thirst

McDonald’s CEO Reluctantly Tries New Vereniki Product

March 8, 2026

CHICAGO, IL After testing out the product for several months in rural Saskatchewan, McDonald’s CEO Chris Kempczinski announced in a viral video this week that the The Big Pierogi would be rolling out in stores […]

Unger Conviction

  • Area Church Votes to Become Gossip-Affirming
    July 28, 2016
  • Bible College Now Offering Shorter 6-Month MRS Degree
    March 13, 2025
  • Mennonite Man Leaves Faspa Early to Avoid Cleaning Up the Chairs
    March 23, 2019

Unger & Thirst

  • Schmaunt Fat Soars to $100 a Barrel
    March 10, 2026
  • Zwieback Added to Periodic Table of Elements
    November 4, 2018
  • Delta Passengers Offered Free Taco Bell Coupon
    September 10, 2023

Unger the Influence

  • “Up is Down” and “Down is Up” New Report Suggests
    January 26, 2026
  • GTA Prepares for Largest Deposit of Snow Since the Rob Ford Administration
    January 25, 2026
  • Every American School to be Supplied with their Very Own Dairy Cow
    January 24, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • High Valley Fills Winnipeg Theatre Entirely with Rempels
    March 5, 2026
  • Cousin Peter Friesen Gets Really Into Punk Rock
    May 14, 2019
  • Trad Wife Discovered at Mennonite Museum
    June 1, 2024
  • Mennonites Being Extra Careful These Days
    March 13, 2020

Trending

  • US Launches Major Attack on the Epstein Files
    February 28, 2026
  • American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey
    February 26, 2026
  • Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal
    February 25, 2026
  • Carney to Melt Down All of Canada’s Unwanted Olympic Medals to Build High Speed Rail Line
    February 24, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • New Jurassic Park Movie Climaxes with Explosive Debate in Morden Over Existence of Dinosaurs
    July 27, 2025
  • Mennonites Flock to Nickelback Concert to Collect their 5 Cents
    June 23, 2023
  • Amazon Introduces New Premium ‘Two Weeks Late’ Delivery Option
    December 15, 2024
  • Jennifer Lawrence to Star in ‘The Unger Games’
    January 29, 2019
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Conservatives Vote to Reaffirm Party Leader Mark Carney

March 6, 2026

High Valley Fills Winnipeg Theatre Entirely with Rempels

March 5, 2026

World War III Finally Gives Mennonites the Chance to be Conscientious Objectors Again

March 4, 2026

Frugal BC Mennonites Excited for the Permanent Daylight Savings

March 3, 2026

Funk and Penner Endorse Penner for Goertzen’s Job Reports Peters from Reimer

March 1, 2026

Unger Games

  • American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey
    February 26, 2026
  • Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal
    February 25, 2026
  • Carney to Melt Down All of Canada’s Unwanted Olympic Medals to Build High Speed Rail Line
    February 24, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Reassures Jets Fans He Won’t Ever Play That Well Again
    February 23, 2026
  • Massive Stockpile of Silver Medals Discovered at Local Thrift Store
    February 22, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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