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Unger Suspicion

Ed Sheeran Drops Mennonite Choir from North American Tour

September 19, 2026

FOXBOROUGH, MA Soft pop rock singer-songwriter Ed Sheeran has dropped a Mennonite choir from his North American tour after finding out they were pacifists. “I don’t like to get political,” said Sheeran, “but when I […]

Unger Conviction

Australian Pastor Apologizes, Says He Shouldn’t Have Preached Hourlong Sermon with Diarrhea

September 18, 2026

BAULKHAM HILLS, AUSTRALIA Pastor Dave of Waters of Blessing megachurch in New South Wales, Australia is apologizing to the congregation, and the choir behind him, after preaching an hourlong sermon while suffering from a particularly […]

Unger Conviction

  • New ‘Transformers’ Movie to Feature Mennonites Who Are One Way on Sunday and Totally Different the Rest of the Week
    December 8, 2021
  • Local Kleine Gemeinde Not So Kleine After Massive Expansion
    February 16, 2017
  • Conservative Mennonite Church Accidentally Elects Female Elder
    March 5, 2017

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Woman Forgets to Put Star Anise in Her Chicken Soup
    August 11, 2026
  • Mennonite Woman Beats Bobby Flay
    May 11, 2019
  • Popular Mennonite Cookbook Updated for Millennials: ‘The Less-with-More Cookbook’
    January 26, 2021

Unger the Influence

  • Trump Calls Andrew Unger “Untalented, Totally Not Funny,” Demands Cancellation of The Unger Review
    May 31, 2026
  • Trump to “Completely Destroy” Military He “Completely Destroyed” Last Week
    May 30, 2026
  • Carney Just One MP Resignation Away From Minority Government the People Voted For
    May 29, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Man Caught Watching Figure Skating
    February 15, 2022
  • Mennonite Man Takes Home Top Prize at Annual ‘Humility Awards’
    April 27, 2026
  • Mennonite Woman to Play Evie’s ‘Come On, Ring Those Bells’ All Day Today
    December 23, 2019
  • Mennonite Church Packs Basement to Sing Hymns and Watch ‘Die Hard’
    December 20, 2023

Trending

  • Premier Wab Kinew Finally Visits Steinbach Just as Every Local Politician is Mysteriously Out of Town
    September 12, 2026
  • Mennonite Woman Mistakes MLCC for MCC
    September 11, 2026
  • Mennonite Man to Gift Entire Province with Smell of Money
    September 9, 2026
  • New UN Map Finally Shows Paraguay At Its Actual Size
    September 8, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Unger Review Gets Amazing Bargain on Stephen Colbert Contract
    July 22, 2025
  • Outrage in Winnipeg as Bell MTS Place Becomes Latest Victim of “Cancel Culture”
    June 16, 2021
  • Steinbach Man Crashes into Giant Tiger
    December 7, 2023
  • Ted Falk Unscathed After Lone Elbowist Attacks Canadian Parliament
    May 20, 2016
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Frugal Mennonites Excited for the Permanent Daylight Savings

September 17, 2026

Carney Sends Mennonite Delegates to Negotiate with the EU

September 16, 2026

Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team

September 15, 2026

Wab Kinew Returns to Steinbach to Mow the Boulevards

September 14, 2026

Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’

September 13, 2026

Unger Games

  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026
  • Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’
    September 13, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026
  • Massive Simon Hildebrandt Statue Appears Outside MBCI
    August 16, 2026
  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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