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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Finishes the Internet

August 15, 2026
Unger & Thirst

Thousands of Mennonites Barely Clinging to Life During Nationwide Cottage Cheese Shortage

August 14, 2026

SASKATOON, SK Thousands of Mennonites are barely surviving this summer after a shortage of cottage cheese has left them without the necessary sustenance for life. “My Henry’s a fighter, but I’m just not sure how […]

Unger Conviction

  • Three Mennonites Hospitalized After Brutal Drive-By Shunning
    December 7, 2016
  • Streets are So Empty that Mennonite Man Thinks He Missed the Rapture
    April 10, 2020
  • Local Couple Finds Themselves Completely Alone in Church on May Long Weekend
    May 19, 2019

Unger & Thirst

  • MennoCon23 Attendee Caught Skipping Session to Get BBQ
    July 5, 2023
  • Molson Drinkers Really Excited About Canada Food Guide’s Recommendation to Drink More Water
    January 23, 2019
  • Chef Gordon Ramsay Has Absolutely No Criticism for Mennonite Girls
    September 21, 2016

Unger the Influence

  • Trump Really Excited About New $1.8 Billion Slush Fund
    May 20, 2026
  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Mom Doesn’t Realize Her Son’s a Hipster
    May 23, 2017
  • Left Lane Between Steinbach and Blumenort to be Designated “Slow Minivan Lane”
    December 9, 2018
  • Mennonite Mom to Post Embarrassing Birthday Greeting on Your Facebook Wall This Week
    January 4, 2023
  • Top Ten Mennonite Movies of 2021
    November 20, 2021

Trending

  • Mennonites Fill Copper Wire Shortage By Stretching Pennies
    August 8, 2026
  • Steinbach Unveils New Public Transit System
    August 5, 2026
  • Mennonite Grandma Punishes Grandkids By Making Them Chew Thrills Gum
    August 4, 2026
  • Rhubarb Discovered on Mennonite Woman’s Vereniki
    August 3, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Mennonite Man Keeps On Asking Questions He Easily Could’ve Googled
    June 28, 2021
  • Manitoba Government Declares Winter Over as of March 1
    March 3, 2022
  • Christiano Ronaldo Signs $200 Million Deal with Hanover Kickers
    December 31, 2022
  • NFL to Adopt New “Thriftier” 80-Yard Field for Upcoming Season
    August 25, 2019
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World’s Sturdiest Ice Maker Lasts a Record Three Days

August 13, 2026

Eclipse Glasses Required to Safely View Sunday’s Worship Service

August 12, 2026

Mennonite Woman Forgets to Put Star Anise in Her Chicken Soup

August 11, 2026

Mennonite Man Buys Back All the Albums He Was Forced to Burn in the 70s

August 10, 2026

Reitmans Introduces New ‘Angine de Poitrine’ Line

August 9, 2026

Unger Games

  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026
  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026
  • Canada Loses to Morocco After Not Getting Enough Pucks to the Net
    July 5, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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