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The Daily Bonnet

La Crete Couple Spends Wild Weekend in High Level

March 30, 2026

HIGH LEVEL, AB It was an unexpectedly wild weekend for the Driedgers of La Crete, who decided to spend a couple days up in High Level. “Jauma, this place is Sin City,” said Mrs. Driedger. […]

Unger Suspicion

Winnipeg Construction Crews Busy Installing Fresh New Potholes

March 29, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB It’s that time of year again. Construction crews are out in earnest this week trying to keep up with the demand for new 2025 potholes. “It’s a lot of work,” said veteran road […]

Unger Conviction

  • Church Affiliation to be Included on New Steinbach Election Ballots
    October 27, 2018
  • Worship Pastor Fired for Plunging V-Neck Shirt
    July 12, 2017
  • Mennonite Church Signs Pastor to Massive 30-Year $1.2 Million Contract
    January 18, 2017

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Man Embarks on New Career After a Weekend of Gorging on Oma’s Cooking
    April 2, 2018
  • Mrs. Kehler Tries to Pass Off Store Bought Tomatoes as Garden Tomatoes
    September 12, 2019
  • First Time In-N-Out Customers Accidentally Order “Doggie Style” Burger
    August 26, 2023

Unger the Influence

  • Premiers Gather in Saskatoon for Annual Crokinole Tournament
    January 29, 2026
  • “Up is Down” and “Down is Up” New Report Suggests
    January 26, 2026
  • GTA Prepares for Largest Deposit of Snow Since the Rob Ford Administration
    January 25, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Afternoon Power Outage Results in Three Pregnancies
    May 8, 2017
  • Mennonite Population Completely Unaffected by Global Cyberattack
    May 15, 2017
  • Mannanites Axcited for New Fast & Furious Movie: Main Street Steinbach Edition!
    August 8, 2020
  • Party Leaders Score Big Points During Plautdietsch Language Debate
    October 2, 2019

Trending

  • Mennonite Man Buys Over a Million Dollars in Co-op Gas Just to Get a Huge Dividend Cheque
    March 20, 2026
  • Strawberries Discovered on Mennonite Man’s Vereniki
    March 19, 2026
  • Local Gas Station to Offer Free Kick in the Groin with Every Purchase
    March 18, 2026
  • Mennonites Hired to Drain the Strait of Hormuz
    March 17, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • 7 Signs Your Co-Worker was at Folk Fest this Weekend
    July 15, 2019
  • Angry White Man Reports on All the Horrible Atrocities Facing Angry White Men These Days
    June 6, 2021
  • Beta Male Finally Switches to VHS
    May 8, 2024
  • George Orwell Elected Mayor of Lancaster, Pennsylvania
    November 21, 2016
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Mennonite Church Shuns Snowman For Being ‘Immodestly Dressed’

March 27, 2026

Mennonite Man Cancels Netflix Over Lack of Fishing Shows

March 25, 2026

Manitoba to Remove PST on Honey Dill Sauce, Premier Says

March 24, 2026

‘KPop Dueck Hunters’ Number One Movie on Mennonite Netflix

March 23, 2026

Mysterious Formations Appear on Church Parking Lot Overnight

March 21, 2026

Unger Games

  • Jason Kelce Spotted on Manitoba Farm in Full Mennonite Attire
    March 11, 2026
  • American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey
    February 26, 2026
  • Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal
    February 25, 2026
  • Carney to Melt Down All of Canada’s Unwanted Olympic Medals to Build High Speed Rail Line
    February 24, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Reassures Jets Fans He Won’t Ever Play That Well Again
    February 23, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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