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Unger Games

Taber Arena Will No Longer Be Flooded With Schmaunt Fat After Winning Kraft Hockeyville

April 5, 2026

TABER, AB The local arena in Taber, Alberta is getting a major upgrade after winning Kraft Hockeyville this week. “We’ve been flooding the rink with leftover schmaunt fat for years,” said arena manager Susie Plett. […]

Unger Games

Peters “Makes It to First Base” Giving Hope to Young Men Across Winkler

April 4, 2026

WINKLER, MB Rumours are swirling in Winkler this week after Chicago White Sox outfielder Tristan Peters became the first Mennonite ever and first Manitoban in almost twenty years to make to first base. The news […]

Unger Conviction

  • Congregation Forced to Repeat “Good Morning” Over and Over Until it’s Loud Enough for the Pastor
    October 20, 2020
  • It’s Official: Steinbach Now Has More Churches than People
    September 24, 2018
  • Church Group Hires Private Investigator to Follow Around the Klassens
    July 30, 2021

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Woman Enters Guinness Book of Records for Rapid Meat Canning
    March 20, 2022
  • Faspa Cancelled After Church Runs Out of Bothwell Cheese
    May 28, 2017
  • Mennonite Man Wins Noble Peas Prize
    October 10, 2025

Unger the Influence

  • Premiers Gather in Saskatoon for Annual Crokinole Tournament
    January 29, 2026
  • “Up is Down” and “Down is Up” New Report Suggests
    January 26, 2026
  • GTA Prepares for Largest Deposit of Snow Since the Rob Ford Administration
    January 25, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Author Comes Home with Gold Medal in Annual Navel Gazing Competition
    August 6, 2025
  • Surly Mennonite Man Plans to Ruin Christmas for All the Children at Church Tonight
    December 24, 2016
  • Courageous Local Man Arrives on Job Site in Japanese Truck
    June 10, 2017
  • Missing CMU Student Discovered Beneath a Mountain of Hauerwas Books
    April 4, 2017

Trending

  • Winnipeg Construction Crews Busy Installing Fresh New Potholes
    March 29, 2026
  • Mennonite Church Shuns Snowman For Being ‘Immodestly Dressed’
    March 27, 2026
  • Mennonite Man Cancels Netflix Over Lack of Fishing Shows
    March 25, 2026
  • Manitoba to Remove PST on Honey Dill Sauce, Premier Says
    March 24, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Zondervan Releases New ‘Greatest Hits’ Bible
    September 30, 2021
  • Breaking News: No One Cares About Your Wordle
    March 5, 2022
  • Volkswagen Replaces Key Fob With Giant Red Panic Button
    August 18, 2024
  • Paul Maurice to Coach Grunthal Red Wings
    December 17, 2021
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Pam Bondi Offered Promising New Career in Multilevel Marketing

April 3, 2026

Mennonite Children Excited for Annual Paska Bun Hunt

April 2, 2026

8 Mennonite Families from Mexico Establish New Colony on Moon

April 1, 2026

Spring Arrives in Manitoba

March 31, 2026

La Crete Couple Spends Wild Weekend in High Level

March 30, 2026

Unger Games

  • Taber Arena Will No Longer Be Flooded With Schmaunt Fat After Winning Kraft Hockeyville
    April 5, 2026
  • Peters “Makes It to First Base” Giving Hope to Young Men Across Winkler
    April 4, 2026
  • Jason Kelce Spotted on Manitoba Farm in Full Mennonite Attire
    March 11, 2026
  • American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey
    February 26, 2026
  • Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal
    February 25, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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