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Unger Games

White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup

July 11, 2026

WINKLER, MB Hours after Winkler’s-own Tristan Peters was named a 2026 American League All-Star, the Chicago White Sox announced they’d be replacing all the other players with good hearty farm boys from southern Manitoba. “Hey, […]

Unger Games

Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning

July 10, 2026

FRESNO, CA Guillermo Toews, a soccer player from Paraguay, got FIFA’s first ever red card for yawning this week after appearing visibly bored during his match against Turkey. “Hey, if the fans are bored that’s […]

Unger Conviction

  • Hymn 606 to Undergo Major Overhaul
    January 25, 2017
  • Blood Moon ‘A Sign From God’ that the Reign of the Fundamentalist Mennonite Elders Has Come to an End
    July 27, 2018
  • Mennonites Praying for Snow Day So They Can Miss Church Tomorrow
    December 8, 2024

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Man Sets Record for Tallest Bowl at Mongo’s Grill
    May 10, 2026
  • Mennonite Man Becomes ‘Completely Hooked’ on the Pink Stuff
    August 12, 2019
  • Chips Blamed for Kicker’s Accuracy Problems
    June 7, 2024

Unger the Influence

  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026
  • James Comey Indicted Over ‘606 47’ Seashell Photo
    May 3, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Dad’s Jokes Fall Flat at Local Smitty’s
    February 24, 2017
  • Mennonites Flock to Get their Hands on $65 Elton John T-Shirts
    October 5, 2019
  • Mennonites Gather for Harder-Dyck Wedding
    November 8, 2024
  • Mr. Toews Realizes He’s Been Saying His Own Name Wrong This Whole Time
    May 18, 2022

Trending

  • Surprises Abound on Taylor and Travis’s Guest List
    July 4, 2026
  • Area Man Spends 10 Hours Trying to Figure Out Hotel Shower Controls
    July 3, 2026
  • Area Man Has No Idea His AI-Generated Poster is a Total Shit Show
    July 2, 2026
  • Canadians Accidentally Set Off Fireworks 3 Days Early
    July 1, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Lack of Snow Deludes Winnipeg Man Into Thinking He Doesn’t Need a Parka
    November 26, 2025
  • Mennonite Hymn Wins Eurovision Song Contest
    May 23, 2025
  • Mennonite Sniper Sets Record for World’s Longest Deliberately-Missed Shot
    June 24, 2017
  • Jason Aldean Releases Controversial New Song “Try That In A Small Mennonite Town”
    July 22, 2023
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Mennonites Gather at Bird’s Hill for Annual Winnipeg Falk Fest

July 9, 2026

World Cup Tourists Fall in Love With Schmaunt Fat

July 8, 2026

Mennonite Woman Struggles to Keep Dandelions, Quackgrass, and AI Data Centres Out of Her Garden This Year

July 7, 2026

FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match

July 6, 2026

Canada Loses to Morocco After Not Getting Enough Pucks to the Net

July 5, 2026

Unger Games

  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026
  • FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match
    July 6, 2026
  • Canada Loses to Morocco After Not Getting Enough Pucks to the Net
    July 5, 2026
  • Paraguay Defeats Germany Thanks to the Prayers of 100,000 Mennonites
    June 30, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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