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Unger the Influence

“I thought it was me as a trajchtmoaka,” Trump says

April 13, 2026

WASHINGTON, DC After posting a blasphemous AI-generated photo of himself as Jesus this weekend, President Trump is now saying he had no idea it was Jesus and actually thought it was him as a traditional […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Wears His Very Best Carhartt to Church

April 12, 2026

AYLMER, ON After months of reminders from his wife Susie to “dress sharp” for church once in a while, area man Rob Letkeman decided to wear his very best Carhartt jacket this Sunday. “And Carhartt […]

Unger Conviction

  • Fight Breaks Out Between Winkler’s Top Two Fäasenjas 
    December 14, 2018
  • Deceased Members of “One True Church” Find Heaven Super Lonely
    November 27, 2020
  • Cellphone Ban Coming to Mennonite Churches this Fall
    August 15, 2024

Unger & Thirst

  • Canadian Mennonites Lineup to Get Their Hands on Legal Platz
    October 17, 2018
  • Jello Fruit Salad Proves Too Tempting for Mennonite Man
    May 17, 2023
  • Mennonite Family Gets Costco Membership Just for All the Free Samples
    December 10, 2021

Unger the Influence

  • George Washington Completely “Absolved” in New Epstein Files
    February 1, 2026
  • Premiers Gather in Saskatoon for Annual Crokinole Tournament
    January 29, 2026
  • “Up is Down” and “Down is Up” New Report Suggests
    January 26, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Couple Accidentally Ventures Into Osborne Village
    April 7, 2017
  • Top Ten Mennonite Movies of 2020
    December 15, 2020
  • Mennonite Man Can’t Decide Between Shitty Old Truck and Obnoxious Honda Civic
    June 16, 2022
  • Friesens Blamed for Manitoba’s Harsh Winters
    November 28, 2024

Trending

  • Taber Arena Will No Longer Be Flooded With Schmaunt Fat After Winning Kraft Hockeyville
    April 5, 2026
  • Peters “Makes It to First Base” Giving Hope to Young Men Across Winkler
    April 4, 2026
  • Pam Bondi Offered Promising New Career in Multilevel Marketing
    April 3, 2026
  • Mennonite Children Excited for Annual Paska Bun Hunt
    April 2, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • For Some Strange Reason Canadians are Really Excited About A Foreign Country’s Presidential Election
    October 26, 2016
  • Presents from Santa Delayed Until March this Year
    November 27, 2024
  • ‘The Sound of Music’ Still Considered Edgy in Mennonite Communities
    December 3, 2016
  • Beta Male Finally Switches to VHS
    May 8, 2024
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Americans Demand the Flooding of Saskatchewan and Manitoba to Give their Ships Easier Access to Canadian Oil

April 11, 2026

Thousands of Poultry Farmers Accidentally Show Up at ‘National Poetry Month’ Event

April 10, 2026

Killing People Only Way to Achieve Lasting Peace, Leaders Insist

April 8, 2026

Mennonite Man Sent To Unclog Space Toilet

April 7, 2026

Family Manages to Get On a Record Three Rides During Weeklong Trip to Disney

April 6, 2026

Unger Games

  • Taber Arena Will No Longer Be Flooded With Schmaunt Fat After Winning Kraft Hockeyville
    April 5, 2026
  • Peters “Makes It to First Base” Giving Hope to Young Men Across Winkler
    April 4, 2026
  • Jason Kelce Spotted on Manitoba Farm in Full Mennonite Attire
    March 11, 2026
  • American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey
    February 26, 2026
  • Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal
    February 25, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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