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Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Under Fire After Releasing Heavily Redacted Church Bulletin

December 22, 2025

EPSTEINBACH, MB A local Mennonite church is facing a lot of criticism this week after the Sunday bulletin was released in a heavily redacted form. “All 4 pages were blacked out,” said Mrs. Loewen, who […]

Unger Suspicion

Staunch Leftist Destroys Capitalism Aboard $60 Million Private Jet

December 21, 2025

BOSTON, MA Renowned anarcho-syndicalist and fierce critic of American foreign policy, professor Noam Chomsky has disclosed his newest and most effective strategy to destroy capitalism–being whisked away in a private jet by Jeffrey Epstein. “See, […]

Unger Conviction

  • Southern Baptists Aim to Have More Dysfunctional Infighting than the Mennonites by 2024
    June 19, 2023
  • Mennonite Pastor Dresses Up as Lutheran this Morning
    October 31, 2021
  • Editorial: ‘I Think the Lord Would Approve of Our Church Split’
    December 2, 2016

Unger & Thirst

  • Zwieback Added to Periodic Table of Elements
    November 4, 2018
  • Mennonite Woman Discovers Huge Selection of “Cooking Wine” at Local LC
    September 16, 2025
  • Mennonites Buy Naming Rights to New Edmonton Arena
    March 14, 2018

Unger the Influence

  • White House Reassures Mennonites New Ballroom Won’t Be Used for Dancing
    November 3, 2025
  • Danielle Smith Adds Canadian Constitution to Alberta’s Banned Books List
    October 29, 2025
  • White House Ends Trade Talks with Canada Over Alex P. Keaton Commercial
    October 24, 2025

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonites Really Looking Forward to Violating One of the Core Tenets of their Faith By Voting in Upcoming Election
    March 23, 2025
  • Brilliant Man Disproves Global Warming By Pointing Out the Weather
    February 6, 2019
  • Family Sells Modest Bungalow in Abbotsford to Live Like Kings in Winnipeg
    September 4, 2022
  • Mennonite Couple Celebrates Anniversary By Ordering the Cheapest Thing on the Menu
    August 24, 2018

Trending

  • Untimely Victory Throws Jets Off Pace of Being Just as Pathetic as Vancouver by Christmas
    December 14, 2025
  • Foreign Visitors Scramble to Erase ‘Unger Review’ from Phone Before Entering the US
    December 12, 2025
  • Kirk Cameron Reaffirms Belief in ‘Eternal Conscious Torment’ After Sitting Through One of His Own Movies
    December 11, 2025
  • Goertzen to Spend Retirement Years Playing High Stakes Competitive Crokinole
    December 10, 2025

Unger Suspicion

  • Winkler Spy Balloon Shot Down Above Morden
    February 4, 2023
  • Manitobans Required to Lounge Around in Towels and Pretend the Whole Province is One Big Sauna
    July 22, 2022
  • Joe Rogan Burns All His Neil Young Records
    January 26, 2022
  • Royal Canadian Mint Brings Back the Penny Just to Have Some Place to Put King Charles
    November 14, 2023
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Mennonite Pastor Stocks up for Communion

December 19, 2025

How to Be a Performative Mennonite Male in 5 Easy Steps

December 18, 2025

Carney Called Out for Utilizing ‘Plaudietsch’ Spelling

December 17, 2025

All Steinbach Restaurants to Serve Nothing but Pizza from Now On

December 16, 2025

Liberals Just One Mennonite MP Away from Majority Government

December 15, 2025

Unger Games

  • Untimely Victory Throws Jets Off Pace of Being Just as Pathetic as Vancouver by Christmas
    December 14, 2025
  • Trump Wins Inaugural Nobel Prize for Soccer
    December 6, 2025
  • Winnipeg Jets Plan to Lose Every Game Until Hellebuyck Comes Back
    November 30, 2025
  • McGill Cuts Beloved Crokinole Team
    November 28, 2025
  • Local Dad Gets Full Time Job Carting His Kids Around to Sports
    November 25, 2025

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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