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Unger the Influence

Trump to “Completely Destroy” Military He “Completely Destroyed” Last Week

May 30, 2026

WASHINGTON, DC A completely destroyed and annihilated military has somehow managed to take over the Strait of Hormuz this afternoon, which means Donald Trump will have to completely destroy the completely destroyed military yet again. […]

Unger the Influence

Carney Just One MP Resignation Away From Minority Government the People Voted For

May 29, 2026

OTTAWA, ON After months of finagling, it looks like Prime Minister Mark Carney is just one MP resignation from his goal of giving the Canadian public what the voted for in the first place. “It’s […]

Unger Conviction

  • Nation Eliminates Poverty with $100 Million Investment in Jesus Commercials
    February 13, 2024
  • Fight Breaks Out Between Winkler’s Top Two Fäasenjas 
    December 14, 2018
  • Mennonite Pastor Dresses Up as Lutheran this Morning
    October 31, 2021

Unger & Thirst

  • Failure to Preheat the Oven Has Mennonite Family Scrambling for Chicken Chef
    October 12, 2022
  • Mennonite Woman’s Medicine Cabinet Filled with Brandy
    October 24, 2024
  • Jennifer Aniston Doused in Schmaunt Fat on Set of ‘The Morning Show’
    August 8, 2024

Unger the Influence

  • Hog Farmers Concerned as Manitoba Seeks to Ban AI
    May 2, 2026
  • Doug Ford to Exclusively Travel by Horse and Buggy from Now On
    April 19, 2026
  • Conservatives Form Majority Government
    April 14, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Student Accidentally Enrolls at Carnegie Mellon University
    April 24, 2024
  • Real News or Satire: 2024 Unger Review Quiz
    December 25, 2024
  • Mennonite Man Becomes First to Reach the Summit of Abe’s Hill
    December 10, 2019
  • Mennonite Man Begrudgingly Signs Up for Sportsnet So He Can Watch the Jets Game
    April 10, 2019

Trending

  • Potato Discovered in Mennonite Man’s Vereniki
    May 21, 2026
  • Trump Really Excited About New $1.8 Billion Slush Fund
    May 20, 2026
  • Mennonite Woman Permanently Trapped in New Landmark Roundabout
    May 19, 2026
  • Winnipeg Metro Region Hoists Centennial Cup
    May 18, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Local Man So Bored He’d Even Be Willing to Watch Baseball
    March 23, 2020
  • Mennonite Cover Band Plays Classic Stones Tune ‘I Know It’s Only Rock and Roll (But I Don’t Like It)’
    July 31, 2021
  • Putin and Biden to Form New Metal Band ‘Minor Incursion’
    January 21, 2022
  • Winnipeg Man Becomes Instant Millionaire After Sales Tax Drops By One Percent
    March 9, 2019
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Enhanced Games Allow Athletes to Use Summa Borscht

May 28, 2026

Carney to Raze 72 Million Acres of Old Growth Forest to Make Copies of Guilbeault’s Resignation Letter

May 27, 2026

Petro-Canada Introduces New Farmer Sausage-Scented Air Fresheners

May 26, 2026

Andrew Unger Celebrates 10 Years of Schmaunt Fat Jokes

May 25, 2026

Ed Sullivan Theatre to Be Demolished and Replaced with Donald J. Trump Center for Free Speech

May 22, 2026

Unger Games

  • Enhanced Games Allow Athletes to Use Summa Borscht
    May 28, 2026
  • Winnipeg Metro Region Hoists Centennial Cup
    May 18, 2026
  • Donald Trump Tells Iran He Holds All the Cards
    May 13, 2026
  • Tariffs Move Leafs’ Pick from First to Sixty-Seventh
    May 6, 2026
  • Taber Arena Will No Longer Be Flooded With Schmaunt Fat After Winning Kraft Hockeyville
    April 5, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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