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Unger & Thirst

Morden Man Sets Up Corn Stand Early This Year

April 24, 2026

MORDEN, MB Area man Paul Goertzen has decided he’s going to beat everyone else to the punch this year and put up his corn stand at the end of April. “Come get your sweet delicious […]

Unger & Thirst

Mr. Hamm to Return to Ancestral Name of Mr. Schinkjefleisch

April 23, 2026

SELKIRK, MB Local accountant Bobby Hamm of Selkirk says he’s sick and tired of hiding his true identity and will be known as Bobby Schinkjefleisch from now on. “It was time,” said Schinkjefleisch. “I’ve been […]

Unger Conviction

  • Poppy and Peace Button Wage War for Space on Mennonite Man’s Lapel
    November 11, 2019
  • Man Who Attends Gender Segregated Church Really Upset About Not Being Allowed to Go Where He Wants to Go and Do What He Wants to Do
    September 25, 2021
  • Church Singles Group Disbanded After Three Decades Without Success
    April 25, 2017

Unger & Thirst

  • Conservative Mennonite Church Approves Drinking Bud Light ‘Since it’s Not Really Beer Anyway’
    January 6, 2018
  • Ten Authentic Mennonite Dishes to Make for Mennonite Heritage Week
    September 8, 2019
  • Generous Mennonite Couple Sends Used Tea Bags to Missionaries
    November 20, 2017

Unger the Influence

  • James Talarico Article Pulled from the Unger Review
    February 19, 2026
  • White House Demands New Bridge Be Rerouted to Epstein Island
    February 11, 2026
  • George Washington Completely “Absolved” in New Epstein Files
    February 1, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Sloth Emerges Victorious in Mennonite Dance Competition
    June 20, 2016
  • Winkler Residents Hooked on New Video Game ‘Pac-Mannanite’
    July 9, 2024
  • Winnipeg Wonders: How Many Mennonites Does it Take to Change a Purple Lightbulb?
    March 15, 2023
  • Mennonite Woman Under the Impression that Opening a Few Windows Will Cool Things Down in Here
    June 23, 2022

Trending

  • Angine de Poitrine Turn Out to be a Couple Mennonite Boys from Winkler
    April 15, 2026
  • Conservatives Form Majority Government
    April 14, 2026
  • “I thought it was me as a trajchtmoaka,” Trump says
    April 13, 2026
  • Mennonite Man Wears His Very Best Carhartt to Church
    April 12, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Millions of Homeless Canadian Refugees Flock to US Border After Heatwave Melts Igloos
    August 4, 2018
  • New Biopic Reveals Freddie Mercury’s ‘Secret Wild Mennonite Life’
    February 16, 2019
  • Manitoba Government Declares Winter Over as of March 1
    March 3, 2022
  • Angry White Man Reports on All the Horrible Atrocities Facing Angry White Men These Days
    June 6, 2021
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Mr. Harms Promises He Won’t Hurt Anybody

April 22, 2026

City of Steinbach Issues ‘Boil Schmaunt Fat’ Advisory

April 21, 2026

Server Stops By to Ask if Everything’s Tasting Good So Far Just as Area Man Takes Final Bite

April 20, 2026

Doug Ford to Exclusively Travel by Horse and Buggy from Now On

April 19, 2026

Fans Petition Rock and Roll Hall of Fame to Induct Paraguayan Harpist Eduard Klassen

April 18, 2026

Unger Games

  • Taber Arena Will No Longer Be Flooded With Schmaunt Fat After Winning Kraft Hockeyville
    April 5, 2026
  • Peters “Makes It to First Base” Giving Hope to Young Men Across Winkler
    April 4, 2026
  • Jason Kelce Spotted on Manitoba Farm in Full Mennonite Attire
    March 11, 2026
  • American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey
    February 26, 2026
  • Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal
    February 25, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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