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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man with Million-dollar Tractor Stakes a Stand Against “Pride”

June 13, 2026

WINKLER, MB With Pembina Valley Pride hosting their first ever rally in Winkler this afternoon, some locals are upset, saying that even the name of the organization is a problem. “I mean, people can live […]

Unger Games

Conflict-Averse Mennonites Getting Really Into Soccer to Watch All the Ties

June 12, 2026

TORONTO, ON Thousands of Mennonites across Canada were relieved this afternoon after Canada ended their match with Croatia in a tie. “That way no one goes home happy,” said Pete Dyck of Kitchener. “You know, […]

Unger Conviction

  • Bible College Now Offering Shorter 6-Month MRS Degree
    March 13, 2025
  • Snopes.com Fact Checks Mennonite Pastor’s Sermon
    October 26, 2018
  • Mennonite Church Unveils New “Choir of the Runny Noses”
    October 2, 2022

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Grandma Arrested for Force-Feeding Unsuspecting Grandson
    October 29, 2016
  • McDonalds to Offer All-Day Faspa
    February 7, 2017
  • Authorities Seize Mennonite Woman’s Dangerous Looking Pickle Spears
    March 24, 2024

Unger the Influence

  • James Comey Indicted Over ‘606 47’ Seashell Photo
    May 3, 2026
  • Hog Farmers Concerned as Manitoba Seeks to Ban AI
    May 2, 2026
  • Doug Ford to Exclusively Travel by Horse and Buggy from Now On
    April 19, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Beet Borscht or Murder Scene?
    March 27, 2017
  • Dating Mennonite Couple Go Over to Grandma’s to Make Sure They’re Not Too Closely Related
    July 17, 2020
  • Mennonite Man Moves to Canada Just to Get World’s Most Expensive Internet
    July 3, 2022
  • Steinbachers Claim Massive Grey Obelisk has Been there for Decades
    December 6, 2020

Trending

  • Mennonite Man Installs New Inground Pool
    June 4, 2026
  • Adventurous Manitoban Drives Right to the Top of Province’s Highest Mountain
    June 3, 2026
  • Mennonite Woman Creates Her Own Rhubarb-Flavoured Bubly
    June 2, 2026
  • Trump Calls Andrew Unger “Untalented, Totally Not Funny,” Demands Cancellation of The Unger Review
    May 31, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Summer Festival Offers Steinbachers an Entire Weekend without Obnoxious Street Racers
    June 17, 2022
  • Zalenskky First Ever Satirist Not Too Chicken Shit to Go Into Politics
    March 1, 2022
  • Jets Ink Morrissey to Long Term Deal
    August 22, 2018
  • Burton Cummings to Donate His Moustache to Charity
    October 1, 2017
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Every Self-Respecting Mennonite Cheering for Paraguay in World Cup Opener Friday

June 11, 2026

Ottawa to Ban Social Media for Kids and Replace it with Hinterland Who’s Who

June 10, 2026

Mennonite Man Super Excited to Eat These Noah’s Ark Cookies

June 9, 2026

Mennonite Church to Host UFC Fight

June 7, 2026

Road Crews Really Busy This Summer Putting Out Pylons

June 6, 2026

Unger Games

  • Conflict-Averse Mennonites Getting Really Into Soccer to Watch All the Ties
    June 12, 2026
  • Every Self-Respecting Mennonite Cheering for Paraguay in World Cup Opener Friday
    June 11, 2026
  • Mennonite Church to Host UFC Fight
    June 7, 2026
  • Enhanced Games Allow Athletes to Use Summa Borscht
    May 28, 2026
  • Winnipeg Metro Region Hoists Centennial Cup
    May 18, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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