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Unger Suspicion

Hundreds of Legal Potash Dispensaries to Open in Saskatchewan

September 26, 2026

REGINA, SK Residents of Saskatchewan have voted overwhelmingly this week to legalize potash dispensaries across the province. “We’ve gotta do something to keep up with Belarus,” said Regina resident Barry Broesky. “I’m sure with all […]

Unger Games

Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg

September 24, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB Inspired by goalie Connor Helleybuyck and quarterback Dieter Brock, the entire population of Winnipeg has requested a trade out of Winnipeg. “If I knew it was that easy, I would have done this […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Woman to Become ‘Unequally Yoked’ With Lutheran Man
    February 15, 2017
  • Local Church Distributes Free Manure
    July 16, 2022
  • Mennonite Pastor Takes Up Vegas Residency
    February 28, 2019

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonites Excited as Masks are Finally Being Handed Out at the Liquor Store
    January 14, 2022
  • 7-11 Introduces New ‘Mennonite Slurpee’
    August 16, 2022
  • Buns Discovered in Mennonite Grandma’s Freezer Carbon Date to 5 Million Years Old
    February 3, 2018

Unger the Influence

  • Trump Calls Andrew Unger “Untalented, Totally Not Funny,” Demands Cancellation of The Unger Review
    May 31, 2026
  • Trump to “Completely Destroy” Military He “Completely Destroyed” Last Week
    May 30, 2026
  • Carney Just One MP Resignation Away From Minority Government the People Voted For
    May 29, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Winkler Family Plans Exotic Vacation in Morden this Summer
    September 1, 2020
  • Altona Man Begins Christmas Shopping Early This Year
    December 23, 2016
  • How to Sneak Snacks into the Movie Theatre: A Guide for Cheap Mennonites
    March 19, 2019
  • Mennonite Man with Million-dollar Tractor Stakes a Stand Against “Pride”
    June 13, 2026

Trending

  • Frugal Mennonites Excited for the Permanent Daylight Savings
    September 17, 2026
  • Carney Sends Mennonite Delegates to Negotiate with the EU
    September 16, 2026
  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026
  • Wab Kinew Returns to Steinbach to Mow the Boulevards
    September 14, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • A Do-it-Yourselfers Guide to Selecting and Constructing the Perfect Border Wall
    March 22, 2018
  • Winnipeg Hospitals Overrun With Jets-Related Heart Attacks
    May 2, 2018
  • Canada and Denmark Reach Settlement Over Disputed Nikolaj Ehlers
    June 21, 2022
  • “Fearless” Man Refuses to Wear a Mask But Absolutely Petrified to Enter a Grocery Store Without His Gun
    August 25, 2020
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Left Lane Between Steinbach and Blumenort to be Designated “Slow Minivan Lane”

September 22, 2026

Electrician Busy Explaining to Concerned Mennonites what ‘AC/DC’ Really Means

September 21, 2026

Mennonite Woman Ruins Perfectly Good Cinnamon Buns By Adding Raisins

September 20, 2026

Ed Sheeran Drops Mennonite Choir from North American Tour

September 19, 2026

Australian Pastor Apologizes, Says He Shouldn’t Have Preached Hourlong Sermon with Diarrhea

September 18, 2026

Unger Games

  • Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg
    September 24, 2026
  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026
  • Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’
    September 13, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026
  • Massive Simon Hildebrandt Statue Appears Outside MBCI
    August 16, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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