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Unger Suspicion

Family Manages to Get On a Record Three Rides During Weeklong Trip to Disney

April 6, 2026

ORLANDO, FL The Kehlers of Mountain Lake, Minnesota have set a new record this week in Disneyworld after managing to get on three whole rides during there week-long trip. “We got in line on Monday […]

Unger Games

Taber Arena Will No Longer Be Flooded With Schmaunt Fat After Winning Kraft Hockeyville

April 5, 2026

TABER, AB The local arena in Taber, Alberta is getting a major upgrade after winning Kraft Hockeyville this week. “We’ve been flooding the rink with leftover schmaunt fat for years,” said arena manager Susie Plett. […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Man Nails ’95 Theses’ to the Door of Local Church
    November 11, 2016
  • Entire Mennonite Town Becomes One Giant Escape Room
    May 22, 2018
  • New Edition of ‘Martyrs Mirror’ to Include Section on Minor Inconveniences Facing the Modern North American Church
    November 30, 2020

Unger & Thirst

  • How Many of These Common Mennonite Foods Have You Tried?
    February 24, 2018
  • Mennonites Have No Place to Store their Crokinole Pieces After Crown Royal Plant Shuts Down
    December 1, 2025
  • Margarine Mennonite Society Posts Declaration of Principles
    June 28, 2017

Unger the Influence

  • Premiers Gather in Saskatoon for Annual Crokinole Tournament
    January 29, 2026
  • “Up is Down” and “Down is Up” New Report Suggests
    January 26, 2026
  • GTA Prepares for Largest Deposit of Snow Since the Rob Ford Administration
    January 25, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Thousands of Steinbachers Set Up Lawn Chairs Just Outside Concert Gates To Avoid Paying
    June 18, 2016
  • Thousands of Mennonites ‘Conscientiously Object’ to Winter
    January 21, 2017
  • ‘Birthers’ Demand Baptism Certificate from Daily Bonnet Founder
    July 24, 2019
  • Mennonite Man Switches Between English and Plautdietsch a Record 3000 Times in a Single Conversation
    October 29, 2017

Trending

  • La Crete Couple Spends Wild Weekend in High Level
    March 30, 2026
  • Winnipeg Construction Crews Busy Installing Fresh New Potholes
    March 29, 2026
  • Mennonite Church Shuns Snowman For Being ‘Immodestly Dressed’
    March 27, 2026
  • Mennonite Man Cancels Netflix Over Lack of Fishing Shows
    March 25, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Local Mall Offering Free Stretcher Service for Shoppers During Holiday Season
    December 1, 2019
  • World Panics as Every Single Person’s Internet Browsing History is Exposed on Wikileaks
    September 20, 2016
  • Perfumer Releases New ‘Urine and Weed’ Scent in Tribute to New York City
    October 15, 2024
  • Staunch Leftist Destroys Capitalism Aboard $60 Million Private Jet
    December 21, 2025
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Peters “Makes It to First Base” Giving Hope to Young Men Across Winkler

April 4, 2026

Pam Bondi Offered Promising New Career in Multilevel Marketing

April 3, 2026

Mennonite Children Excited for Annual Paska Bun Hunt

April 2, 2026

8 Mennonite Families from Mexico Establish New Colony on Moon

April 1, 2026

Spring Arrives in Manitoba

March 31, 2026

Unger Games

  • Taber Arena Will No Longer Be Flooded With Schmaunt Fat After Winning Kraft Hockeyville
    April 5, 2026
  • Peters “Makes It to First Base” Giving Hope to Young Men Across Winkler
    April 4, 2026
  • Jason Kelce Spotted on Manitoba Farm in Full Mennonite Attire
    March 11, 2026
  • American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey
    February 26, 2026
  • Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal
    February 25, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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