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Unger Games

Winnipeg Jets Select Björk in First Round

June 27, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB The Winnipeg Jets sent shockwaves across the hockey world this afternoon after selecting Icelandic music superstar Björk in the first round of the draft this year. “We’ve been scouting her for a while,” […]

Unger the Influence

Vandals Caddyshack the Reflecting Pool

June 26, 2026

WASHINGTON, DC Vacationers swimming in the Washington, DC Reflecting Pool vacated really quick this afternoon after someone “Caddyshacked” the pool. “I don’t know who did it or how it happened,” said Gary Kehler, “but when […]

Unger Conviction

  • Guilt Levels Reach Record Lows as Mennonites Stay Home on Sundays
    March 24, 2020
  • Mennonite Church Uses Potato Sack Race to Determine New Pastor
    August 29, 2018
  • Lukewarm Christian Has Only One Conservative Sign in His Yard
    April 25, 2025

Unger & Thirst

  • A Glossary of Mennonite Food
    April 9, 2021
  • A Closet-Drinker’s Guide to the Mennonite Treasury Cookbook
    December 15, 2016
  • Bruce Springsteen’s Plumi Moos Deemed “A Little Dry”
    May 20, 2025

Unger the Influence

  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026
  • James Comey Indicted Over ‘606 47’ Seashell Photo
    May 3, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Police Vow to Put a Stop to Mennonite Crack Problem
    July 20, 2019
  • Doctor Shortage Finally Solved as Thousands of Medical Experts Appear Online
    October 30, 2020
  • Erotic Schekjbenjel Novel Tops NY Times Bestseller List
    July 5, 2017
  • Man Who Lived Near a Mennonite Town for a Couple Years in the 80s Now Internet’s Top Expert on Mennonites
    August 29, 2024

Trending

  • Canadians Celebrate as List of ‘Sports We Don’t Suck At’ Balloons to Two
    June 18, 2026
  • Trump Vows to Make Washington Reflecting Pool as Beautiful as Lake Winnipeg
    June 17, 2026
  • Alberta Man Votes to Stay in Canada After Discovering Honey Dill Sauce
    June 15, 2026
  • Musk Tries Desperately to Squeeze Camel Through Eye of This Needle
    June 14, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Canadian Olympians Forced to Pay Back Half Their Medals in Taxes
    February 13, 2018
  • Ottawa Senators Attendance Way Up this Year
    April 12, 2021
  • Kirk Cameron Reaffirms Belief in ‘Eternal Conscious Torment’ After Sitting Through One of His Own Movies
    December 11, 2025
  • Mennonite Man Awarded Presidential Medal of Freedom for Lasting All 20 Seasons Without Watching the Kardashians
    June 15, 2021
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300-Foot Gash Appears in MB Church Baptismal Tank

June 25, 2026

Mennonite Man Leaves Faspa Early to Avoid Cleaning Up the Chairs

June 24, 2026

Libertarian Accidentally Walks Down Public Sidewalk

June 23, 2026

Mennonite Couple Honour Dad by Making Him Come Over and Fix Stuff

June 21, 2026

Recently Retired Jonathan Toews Scrambles to Get His Name on the Fernwood Waiting List

June 20, 2026

Unger Games

  • Winnipeg Jets Select Björk in First Round
    June 27, 2026
  • Recently Retired Jonathan Toews Scrambles to Get His Name on the Fernwood Waiting List
    June 20, 2026
  • Canadians Celebrate as List of ‘Sports We Don’t Suck At’ Balloons to Two
    June 18, 2026
  • Conflict-Averse Mennonites Getting Really Into Soccer to Watch All the Ties
    June 12, 2026
  • Every Self-Respecting Mennonite Cheering for Paraguay in World Cup Opener Friday
    June 11, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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