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Unger the Influence

Premier Wab Kinew Finally Visits Steinbach Just as Every Local Politician is Mysteriously Out of Town

September 12, 2026

STEINBACH, MB There was not a single local politician available to greet Premier Wab Kinew in Steinbach this afternoon. “I guess they all went to the lake,” said Kinew as he arrived at KR Barkman […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Mistakes MLCC for MCC

September 11, 2026

WINKLER, MB Local woman Mrs. Froese just moved to town from Jantsied and decided to spend her Saturday afternoon running a few errands. “I asked Mrs. Penner where yet is the Em See See and […]

Unger Conviction

  • Church Affiliation to be Included on New Steinbach Election Ballots
    October 27, 2018
  • Confused Out-of-Towners Attend Every Mennonite Church in Fort Garry
    December 10, 2017
  • Choir Director Admits He Really Doesn’t Know What the Heck He’s Doing with His Arms
    March 18, 2018

Unger & Thirst

  • Winkler Supermarket Starts Selling Liquor to Convince Mennonites to Cover Their Faces
    January 20, 2022
  • McDonald’s Installs New Extra Uncomfortable Furniture to Prevent Mennonite Men from Sitting Around All Day Drinking Coffee
    January 7, 2024
  • Steinbach Woman Calls Police About Long Line at Krispy Kreme
    June 23, 2024

Unger the Influence

  • Trump to “Completely Destroy” Military He “Completely Destroyed” Last Week
    May 30, 2026
  • Carney Just One MP Resignation Away From Minority Government the People Voted For
    May 29, 2026
  • Carney to Raze 72 Million Acres of Old Growth Forest to Make Copies of Guilbeault’s Resignation Letter
    May 27, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Mennonite Man Mistakes Huge Miriam Toews Crowd for Billy Graham Crusade
    October 16, 2025
  • Mennonite Golfer Spends Three Hours Looking for Lost Ball
    September 22, 2016
  • Mennonite Man Renounces Genealogy After Connection to Homer Simpson is Discovered
    November 4, 2016
  • Local Man Forgets to Remove Nikes Before Burning Them
    September 10, 2018

Trending

  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026
  • Mennonite Man Introduces Japanese A5 Wagyu Jreewe
    August 30, 2026
  • Winkler Attempts to Rename Morden
    August 29, 2026
  • Mennonite Child Suspended for Speaking Low German at Recess
    August 28, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Mennonite Pastor Barely Outlasts UK Prime Minister Liz Truss
    October 22, 2022
  • Jets Already Down Three Games to None after Opening Faceoff
    May 19, 2021
  • Area Man Spends 10 Hours Trying to Figure Out Hotel Shower Controls
    July 3, 2026
  • Thousands of Floridians Flock to Saskatchewan for Warm Winter Vacation
    January 30, 2024
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Mennonite Man to Gift Entire Province with Smell of Money

September 9, 2026

New UN Map Finally Shows Paraguay At Its Actual Size

September 8, 2026

Prime Minister, Bryan Adams Share Roll Kuchen in Altona

September 5, 2026

Mennonite Man Takes 5 Hours to Pass Semi

September 3, 2026

Mennonite Woman in Existential Crisis at Grocery Store

September 2, 2026

Unger Games

  • Connor Hellebuyck Demands Trade to Blumenort Menno Knights
    September 1, 2026
  • Massive Simon Hildebrandt Statue Appears Outside MBCI
    August 16, 2026
  • Mennonite Soccer Fans Devastated as England “Fe’schluckes” Yet Again
    July 15, 2026
  • White Sox to Feature All-Mennonite Starting Lineup
    July 11, 2026
  • Soccer Player Gets Red Card for Yawning
    July 10, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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