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Unger the Influence

George Washington Completely “Absolved” in New Epstein Files

February 1, 2026

WASHINGTON, DC Historians are breathing a sigh of relief this weekend as not a single mention of George Washington was discovered in the latest batch of Epstein files. “His name has been completely cleared,” said […]

The Daily Bonnet

Theatres Empty for New Documentary About My Taunte Lina

January 31, 2026

NEW KLEETHAL, MB Despite a more than $75 million bribe paid to the local farm implements dealership to host the film, the new documentary about my Taunte Lina has proven to be a huge flop. […]

Unger Conviction

  • Pastor’s Wife Offers Makeup Lessons
    November 19, 2017
  • Mennonite Church Buys Out Last Year of Pastor’s $40,000 Contract
    June 30, 2023
  • MKs Totally Destroy PKs in First Annual Church Kid Olympics
    July 24, 2020

Unger & Thirst

  • Raw Farmer Sausage and Vinegar: A Daily Bonnet Recipe
    March 3, 2018
  • 8 Easy Mennonite Recipes for Your Hockey Playoff Parties
    May 5, 2018
  • Mennonite Woman’s ‘Abstinence in a Pan’ Declared Worst Dessert at Church Bake Sale
    January 14, 2018

Unger the Influence

  • Ottawa Disappointed with Gun Buyback Program in Mennonite Country
    January 11, 2026
  • Zwaagstra Vows to Continue Goertzen’s Legacy of Giving Andrew Unger Plenty of Material
    January 8, 2026
  • US Troops Accidentally Seize One of Those Oil and Vinegar Tasting Rooms
    January 5, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Thousands of Nerds Line-up at Comic-Con to Meet Normal Mennonite Mom
    November 3, 2022
  • Grandma Dick Hospitalized After Searching for Images of Relatives Online
    October 22, 2021
  • Undocumented Workers from Morden Flood Into Winkler
    January 30, 2020
  • Mennonite Man Becomes First to Get Blue Checkmark on Genealogy Website
    November 8, 2022

Trending

  • Every American School to be Supplied with their Very Own Dairy Cow
    January 24, 2026
  • Mennonite Man Gets Standing Ovation in Switzerland
    January 22, 2026
  • Andrew Unger Gifted Secondhand Nobel Prize for Literature
    January 21, 2026
  • Winnipeg’s Population Surpasses 850,000 Friesens
    January 20, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Nostradamus Eerily Predicts the End of Twitter
    November 15, 2022
  • Mennonite Man Finally Escapes Snow Maze After Spring Melt
    March 7, 2021
  • Discovery Channel’s Documentary on ‘Pacifist Sharks’ is ‘Most Boring’ Program Ever Aired During Shark Week
    July 28, 2018
  • Mrs. Friesen Signed On as New Bombers Kicker
    October 11, 2021
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Premiers Gather in Saskatoon for Annual Crokinole Tournament

January 29, 2026

Area Man to Pretend Super Bowl Actually Matters to Distract Himself from Everything Else Going On in the World Right Now

January 28, 2026

Climber Scales Credit Union Building Without Safety Gear

January 27, 2026

“Up is Down” and “Down is Up” New Report Suggests

January 26, 2026

GTA Prepares for Largest Deposit of Snow Since the Rob Ford Administration

January 25, 2026

Unger Games

  • Premiers Gather in Saskatoon for Annual Crokinole Tournament
    January 29, 2026
  • Area Man to Pretend Super Bowl Actually Matters to Distract Himself from Everything Else Going On in the World Right Now
    January 28, 2026
  • Winnipeg Jets Sign Mennonite Senior to Bring Some Youth to the Team
    January 19, 2026
  • New Season of ‘Heated Rivalry’ to Feature Manitoba’s Top Crokinole Players
    January 17, 2026
  • Steinbach Mayor Wins Grand Slam of Butchering
    January 12, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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