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The Daily Bonnet

Thousands of Poultry Farmers Accidentally Show Up at ‘National Poetry Month’ Event

April 10, 2026

GRUNTHAL, MB A misheard radio announcement about National Poetry Month had thousands of chicken and turkey farmers across the RM of Hanover unintentionally showing up to hear poet Sarah Ens read from her latest publication […]

Unger Suspicion

Killing People Only Way to Achieve Lasting Peace, Leaders Insist

April 8, 2026

WASHINGTON, DC It seems the so-called ceasefire in the Middle East lasted oh, about, three minutes, which world leaders claim is actually really good and just part of the plan. “The only way to achieve […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonites Praying for Snow Day So They Can Miss Church Tomorrow
    December 8, 2024
  • Choir Director Admits He Really Doesn’t Know What the Heck He’s Doing with His Arms
    March 18, 2018
  • Time Between Ceremony and Reception Extended to Torture Wedding Guests
    September 21, 2019

Unger & Thirst

  • Local Potluck to Feature Delectable Array of Measles
    March 29, 2025
  • Frustrated Mennonite Man Still Waiting for His Cookies
    April 28, 2021
  • Zwieback Added to Periodic Table of Elements
    November 4, 2018

Unger the Influence

  • Premiers Gather in Saskatoon for Annual Crokinole Tournament
    January 29, 2026
  • “Up is Down” and “Down is Up” New Report Suggests
    January 26, 2026
  • GTA Prepares for Largest Deposit of Snow Since the Rob Ford Administration
    January 25, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Area Woman Buys Out Entire MCC Store for $200
    May 30, 2016
  • Frugal BC Mennonites Excited for the Permanent Daylight Savings
    March 3, 2026
  • 40-Year-Old Mennonite Man Still Called “Junge”
    August 13, 2020
  • 2016 Nobel Peace Prize to be Shared by All Mennonites
    October 7, 2016

Trending

  • Mennonite Children Excited for Annual Paska Bun Hunt
    April 2, 2026
  • 8 Mennonite Families from Mexico Establish New Colony on Moon
    April 1, 2026
  • Spring Arrives in Manitoba
    March 31, 2026
  • La Crete Couple Spends Wild Weekend in High Level
    March 30, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Judge Sentences Katy Perry to Kiss 100 Random Mennonite Dudes
    March 16, 2018
  • Tip-flation So “Out of Control” They’re Even Expecting Tips in Winkler
    September 21, 2024
  • How to Totally Rock Your Mother’s Hand-Me-Down Bathing Suit This Summer!
    June 20, 2019
  • Manitoba Beaches to Open This Weekend After Temperatures Soar to -15!
    February 13, 2019
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Mennonite Man Sent To Unclog Space Toilet

April 7, 2026

Family Manages to Get On a Record Three Rides During Weeklong Trip to Disney

April 6, 2026

Taber Arena Will No Longer Be Flooded With Schmaunt Fat After Winning Kraft Hockeyville

April 5, 2026

Peters “Makes It to First Base” Giving Hope to Young Men Across Winkler

April 4, 2026

Pam Bondi Offered Promising New Career in Multilevel Marketing

April 3, 2026

Unger Games

  • Taber Arena Will No Longer Be Flooded With Schmaunt Fat After Winning Kraft Hockeyville
    April 5, 2026
  • Peters “Makes It to First Base” Giving Hope to Young Men Across Winkler
    April 4, 2026
  • Jason Kelce Spotted on Manitoba Farm in Full Mennonite Attire
    March 11, 2026
  • American Victory Part of Chinese Government Plot to Get Canadians to Quit Playing Hockey
    February 26, 2026
  • Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal
    February 25, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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