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Unger the Influence

Goertzen to Spend Retirement Years Playing High Stakes Competitive Crokinole

December 10, 2025

STEINBACH, MB Longtime Steinbach MLA Kelvin Goertzen announced this week that he will not be seeking re-election in the next provincial election. Instead, Goertzen intends to spend his retirement years singing tenor in a country […]

Unger the Influence

FIFA Peace Prize Discovered at Local Thrift Store

December 7, 2025

HARRISONBURG, VA The new FIFA “Peace Prize” was apparently so meaningful to its recipient that it’s already been discarded and discovered amongst all the useless chotskies at the local thrift store. “I couldn’t believe my […]

Unger Conviction

  • Louisiana Requires All Schools to Display Pictures of Charlton Heston
    June 27, 2024
  • Pastor’s Son By Far the Worst Behaved Kid in Sunday School
    January 18, 2018
  • Martin Luther Costumes Flying Off the Shelves this Halloween
    October 31, 2017

Unger & Thirst

  • Pink Whitney Discovered in Mrs. Loewen’s Thermos
    August 13, 2021
  • Mennonite Woman Orders Every Liquid on the Menu
    January 17, 2022
  • ‘Soup and Pie Fundraiser’ Raises Millions and Millions of Dollars
    February 23, 2020

Unger the Influence

  • Canada Post to Replace Air Mail with New Horse and Buggy Service
    September 29, 2025
  • Bargain Hungry Mennonites Eager to Get Their Hands on Free Speech
    September 21, 2025
  • Trump Hires Mennonites to Shun Jimmy Kimmel
    September 19, 2025

The Daily Bonnet

  • Religious Bumper Stickers Causing Accidents All Over Southern Manitoba
    March 6, 2017
  • Forklift Enlisted to Transport New Mennonite Book
    June 13, 2025
  • Mennonite Dog Breeder Creates New Breed, the ‘Low German Shepherd’
    July 26, 2018
  • Mennonite Couples Compete to Have the Most Grandchildren
    April 11, 2024

Trending

  • Winnipeg Jets Plan to Lose Every Game Until Hellebuyck Comes Back
    November 30, 2025
  • McGill Cuts Beloved Crokinole Team
    November 28, 2025
  • Mennonites Demand Release of the Epsteinbach Files
    November 27, 2025
  • Lack of Snow Deludes Winnipeg Man Into Thinking He Doesn’t Need a Parka
    November 26, 2025

Unger Suspicion

  • “It’s all starting to taste like Mennonite food!” Says Joe Biden After Losing Sense of Taste and Smell
    July 24, 2022
  • American Tourist ‘Totally Wasted’ For the Rest of the Trip After Just One German Beer
    July 19, 2019
  • National League Adopts ‘Designated Menno’ Rule
    March 16, 2022
  • Canada Day Ruined as Stoned Singer Totally Butchers ‘Oh Canada’
    July 1, 2018
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Trump Wins Inaugural Nobel Prize for Soccer

December 6, 2025

Canadian Shoppers Concerned as Fargo Reinstates Wood Chipper Executions

December 5, 2025

Mrs. Friesen Rushes Inside to Avoid Freezing Her Buns

December 4, 2025

Mennonite Woman Finally Takes Down Last Year’s Christmas Cards Just as This Year’s Start to Arrive

December 2, 2025

Mennonites Have No Place to Store their Crokinole Pieces After Crown Royal Plant Shuts Down

December 1, 2025

Unger Games

  • Trump Wins Inaugural Nobel Prize for Soccer
    December 6, 2025
  • Winnipeg Jets Plan to Lose Every Game Until Hellebuyck Comes Back
    November 30, 2025
  • McGill Cuts Beloved Crokinole Team
    November 28, 2025
  • Local Dad Gets Full Time Job Carting His Kids Around to Sports
    November 25, 2025
  • Winnipeg Man to Host Grey Cup Party and Cheer for Nobody
    November 16, 2025

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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