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Unger Suspicion

Minnesota to be Renamed ‘Manitoba South’

February 3, 2026

ST. PAUL, MINNESOTA The state of Minnesota, famed for its lakes, cheese-stuffed hamburgers and association with the late musician Prince, has decided to forego all that and take on the new name ‘Manitoba South.’ “People […]

Unger the Influence

George Washington Completely “Absolved” in New Epstein Files

February 1, 2026

WASHINGTON, DC Historians are breathing a sigh of relief this weekend as not a single mention of George Washington was discovered in the latest batch of Epstein files. “His name has been completely cleared,” said […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Woman Sings So Beautifully Out Her Nose
    December 27, 2024
  • Conservative Mennonite Church Accidentally Elects Female Elder
    March 5, 2017
  • Doily Proven to Be Authentic ‘Shroud of Menno Simons’
    August 24, 2024

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Couple Drives 20 Minutes to Another Restaurant to Avoid 5 Minute Wait at the First One
    August 20, 2022
  • Bean Salad Big Hit at Church Potluck
    December 18, 2024
  • Mennonite Man is Literally ‘Older than Sliced Bread’
    March 11, 2021

Unger the Influence

  • Ottawa Disappointed with Gun Buyback Program in Mennonite Country
    January 11, 2026
  • Zwaagstra Vows to Continue Goertzen’s Legacy of Giving Andrew Unger Plenty of Material
    January 8, 2026
  • US Troops Accidentally Seize One of Those Oil and Vinegar Tasting Rooms
    January 5, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Dodge Caravan Sets World Land Speed Record
    August 13, 2017
  • Mennonite Man Buys Back All the Albums He Was Forced to Burn in the 70s
    August 6, 2019
  • Winnipeg Man Blames the Refs for Every Single Problem in His Life
    April 22, 2019
  • Mennonite Lady to Spend the Evening Reading Amish Romance Books
    February 14, 2017

Trending

  • GTA Prepares for Largest Deposit of Snow Since the Rob Ford Administration
    January 25, 2026
  • Every American School to be Supplied with their Very Own Dairy Cow
    January 24, 2026
  • Mennonite Man Gets Standing Ovation in Switzerland
    January 22, 2026
  • Andrew Unger Gifted Secondhand Nobel Prize for Literature
    January 21, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Mennonite Man Violently Tossed From Airplane in Midflight
    April 15, 2017
  • Local Woman Spends All Afternoon Stuck in Line Behind Some Guy Buying Lotto Tickets
    August 17, 2020
  • Kermit the Frog Weighs in on Steinbach Pride Controversy
    June 21, 2016
  • $8 Billion Marijuana Theme Park to Be Built on Parliament Hill
    November 30, 2017
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Theatres Empty for New Documentary About My Taunte Lina

January 31, 2026

Premiers Gather in Saskatoon for Annual Crokinole Tournament

January 29, 2026

Area Man to Pretend Super Bowl Actually Matters to Distract Himself from Everything Else Going On in the World Right Now

January 28, 2026

Climber Scales Credit Union Building Without Safety Gear

January 27, 2026

“Up is Down” and “Down is Up” New Report Suggests

January 26, 2026

Unger Games

  • Premiers Gather in Saskatoon for Annual Crokinole Tournament
    January 29, 2026
  • Area Man to Pretend Super Bowl Actually Matters to Distract Himself from Everything Else Going On in the World Right Now
    January 28, 2026
  • Winnipeg Jets Sign Mennonite Senior to Bring Some Youth to the Team
    January 19, 2026
  • New Season of ‘Heated Rivalry’ to Feature Manitoba’s Top Crokinole Players
    January 17, 2026
  • Steinbach Mayor Wins Grand Slam of Butchering
    January 12, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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