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The Daily Bonnet

Winnipeg Couple Dress as Country’s Scariest Creature: Canada Geese

October 31, 2026

WINNIPEG, MB First time trick-or-treaters Pete and Linda Siemens of North Kildonan had heard you were supposed to dress as something really really scary for Halloween. “So, naturally, we dressed as the scariest creature in […]

Unger Games

Mennonite Couple Make Sure to Eat at Home Before Jets Game

October 30, 2026

ALTONA, MB When the Friesens of Altona got free nosebleed tickets to the Jets game this week, they were put in quite the predicament. “Looks like we’re going to have to pre-game it,” said Susie, […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Man Excited to Take Flight in Neighbour’s Flying Car
    March 28, 2024
  • Mennonite Pastor Arrested for ‘Baptizing Under the Influence’
    May 2, 2017
  • Church Attendance “Way Up” in Calgary as Flames Threaten to Leave Town
    January 26, 2018

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Man Confuses Wendy’s Ketchup Cup for Communion
    March 27, 2023
  • Delta Passengers Offered Free Taco Bell Coupon
    September 10, 2023
  • Mennonite Woman Reminds Husband, “Gravy is not a beverage.”
    September 26, 2021

Unger the Influence

  • Albertans to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Whether to Vote on Separation
    October 11, 2026
  • Pentagon Introduces New “Firing Squad” Video Game for Kids
    October 10, 2026
  • British Columbians Can’t Decide Which Mennonite to Vote For
    October 6, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Landmark, Manitoba to Run Out of Pletts By the Year 2020
    November 7, 2016
  • Dad Kills Deer With the Car, Tells Horrified Children ‘Bambi’s Just Having Meddachschlop’
    December 10, 2016
  • Which Mennonite Colleges and Universities Made the ‘Final Four’?
    April 7, 2022
  • Ever Notice How the MCC Logo Looks Exactly Like the State of Texas?
    January 22, 2018

Trending

  • Edmonton Mennonites Big Fans of Mayor Knack-Zoat
    October 22, 2026
  • Roundup Introduces New Product to Eliminate Election Signs in Your Yard
    October 21, 2026
  • Mennonite Church’s Annual ‘Costume and Candy Party’ Eerily Similar to Halloween
    October 19, 2026
  • Mennonites Encouraged to Get Out and Vogt
    October 18, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Anne of Green Gables Adopted by Mennonite Family
    April 2, 2017
  • ‘Rage Against the Machine’ Smashes Capitalism with $300 Concert Tickets
    February 13, 2020
  • International Olympic Committee Requires All Athletes to Wear One of those Borat Mankinis
    July 29, 2021
  • Abbotsford Man Mortgages House to Pay for Bruce Springsteen Tickets
    November 7, 2023
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City’s Top Chef Mortified to Discover His ‘Charcuterie Board’ is Just Glorified Faspa

October 29, 2026

Person Under 70 Shocks Community By Voting

October 28, 2026

Elizabeth Holmes Takes On Trajchtmoaka Job in Winkler

October 26, 2026

Mennonite Beats Mennonite with Votes from Mennonites

October 25, 2026

Winnipeg Mayoral Candidate Accidentally Uses Pictures of Winkler

October 23, 2026

Unger Games

  • Mennonite Couple Make Sure to Eat at Home Before Jets Game
    October 30, 2026
  • Connor Hellebuyck Leads League With Impressive 0.00 GAA So Far This Season
    October 5, 2026
  • Entire Population of Winnipeg Asks for Trade Out of Winnipeg
    September 24, 2026
  • Hellebuyck Demands Chance to Shit the Bed in the Playoffs for Another Team
    September 15, 2026
  • Riders Get Called For ‘Too Many Mennonites’
    September 13, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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