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Unger Suspicion

Surprises Abound on Taylor and Travis’s Guest List

July 4, 2026

NEW YORK, NY There were plenty of surprises on the star-studded guest list at Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce’s wedding this week, including Dakota Johnson, Gigi Hadid, and several members of the local Amish community. […]

Unger Suspicion

Area Man Spends 10 Hours Trying to Figure Out Hotel Shower Controls

July 3, 2026

MONTREAL, QC Area man Collin Penner has been in Montreal for the jazz fest since Saturday, but has spent the entire time just figuring out how to get the hot water going in his hotel […]

Unger Conviction

  • Mennonite Child Forced to Watch ‘Hymn Sing’ Before He Can Watch ‘Disney’
    September 4, 2025
  • Pastor to Fight Epidemic of Mennonite Men Wearing Shorts in Church
    June 1, 2025
  • Church Dismantles Department of Sunday School Education, Citing High Cost of Flannelgraph Boards
    March 25, 2025

Unger & Thirst

  • Mennonite Woman Gets the Wrong Message from Her French Vanilla
    March 10, 2023
  • Mrs. Plett Mixes Papsi and Water to Make Mennonite Swamp Water
    June 3, 2023
  • Mr. Hamm to Return to Ancestral Name of Mr. Schinkjefleisch
    April 23, 2026

Unger the Influence

  • Webster’s Dictionary Redefines “Ceasefire” as “Active Battle”
    May 8, 2026
  • Man Who Aced Cognitive Test Can’t Tell Jesus From a Doctor
    May 5, 2026
  • James Comey Indicted Over ‘606 47’ Seashell Photo
    May 3, 2026

The Daily Bonnet

  • Local Bible College Records First Nasty Breakup of the Year
    September 1, 2024
  • Gathering Cancelled: Friesens Told to Go Home and Stay There
    December 27, 2021
  • Local Man Turns 40, or 65 in ‘Mennonite Years’
    November 9, 2019
  • ‘Birthers’ Demand Baptism Certificate from Daily Bonnet Founder
    July 24, 2019

Trending

  • Winnipeg Jets Select Björk in First Round
    June 27, 2026
  • Mennonite Man Fakes Injury to Avoid Church this Morning
    June 27, 2026
  • Vandals Caddyshack the Reflecting Pool
    June 26, 2026
  • 300-Foot Gash Appears in MB Church Baptismal Tank
    June 25, 2026

Unger Suspicion

  • Presents from Santa Delayed Until March this Year
    November 27, 2024
  • Sports Team Sports Their Way to Sportsing Thinger
    February 13, 2022
  • Canadian Gun Enthusiasts Relieved that Covid-19s Were Left Off Trudeau’s List
    May 2, 2020
  • Mennonite Woman Stocks Up on Discount Candy for Next Year
    November 1, 2023
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Area Man Has No Idea His AI-Generated Poster is a Total Shit Show

July 2, 2026

Canadians Accidentally Set Off Fireworks 3 Days Early

July 1, 2026

Paraguay Defeats Germany Thanks to the Prayers of 100,000 Mennonites

June 30, 2026

Taco Bell Unveils New Logo

June 29, 2026

Leamington Residents Celebrate Canada’s World Cup Victory with Giant Ketchup-Covered Vereniki

June 28, 2026

Unger Games

  • Paraguay Defeats Germany Thanks to the Prayers of 100,000 Mennonites
    June 30, 2026
  • Leamington Residents Celebrate Canada’s World Cup Victory with Giant Ketchup-Covered Vereniki
    June 28, 2026
  • Winnipeg Jets Select Björk in First Round
    June 27, 2026
  • Recently Retired Jonathan Toews Scrambles to Get His Name on the Fernwood Waiting List
    June 20, 2026
  • Canadians Celebrate as List of ‘Sports We Don’t Suck At’ Balloons to Two
    June 18, 2026

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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