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Month: December 2018

The Daily Bonnet

2018 Daily Bonnet Year in Review

December 31, 2018 Andrew

Happy New Year, everyone! I hope you’re enjoying your New Year’s cookies! 2018 was another great year at the Daily Bonnet, and October actually was the highest month ever in terms of traffic to the […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Tests Positive for Coke

December 30, 2018 Andrew

BLUMENORT, AB After a routine traffic stop in the small village of Blumenort, Alberta, local man Mr. Wiens has been found to have Coke in his system. Wiens faces several charges including driving under the […]

Unger Suspicion

Top Ten Mennonite Movies of 2018

December 29, 2018 Andrew

2018 was quite the year for Mennonite film, smashing box office records and garnering praise from both fans and critics alike. Without further ado, here are the top ten Mennonite films of 2018. 10. Crazy […]

Unger & Thirst

Jaws of Life Required to Extract Red Candy from Oma’s Candy Bowl

December 28, 2018 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Emergency crews were overworked this holiday season extracting red raspberry candies that had become clumped together in Oma Penner’s candy bowl. “Try as they might, the kids just couldn’t get a candy out […]

The Daily Bonnet

La Crete, Alberta Declared “Mennonite Capital of the North”

December 27, 2018 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB The small town of La Crete, Alberta has been officially declared the northern most Mennonite town in the world and thus becomes the capital city for all Mennonite towns north of the […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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