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Month: May 2017

Unger & Thirst

Justin Trudeau to Legalize Rhubarb Platz

May 31, 2017 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON After decades of pressure from platz-users across Canada, the Trudeau government has announced it will introduce legislation to regulate and sell rhubarb platz by the end of the year. “This is a great […]

Unger Suspicion

Local Woman Renews Her Vows to Facebook

May 30, 2017 Andrew

VICTORIA, BC Local woman and loyal social media user Alice Loewen, now retired and living on Vancouver Island, has decided to renew her vows to Facebook on their ten year anniversary. “I love Facebook as much […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Boy Sneaks a Glimpse of Stanley Cup Finals from Lutheran Neighbour’s Window

May 30, 2017 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK 10-year-old Mennonite boy Billy Unger of Swift Current was caught watching game one of the Stanley Cup finals through his Lutheran neighbour’s window last night. “Watching television? Oba, nay! And hockey yet!” […]

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The Daily Bonnet

Kleefeld Residents to Spend the Next Six Months Picking Rocks

May 29, 2017 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB Now that winter is officially over, residents of Kleefeld, Manitoba are back in their fields picking rocks in full force, an activity that is expected to last until the snow flies again this […]

Unger Suspicion

Manitoba Government Introduces Strict ‘No Kill’ Policy for Mosquitos

May 28, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB On Friday afternoon, the Manitoba government announced a new initiative that seeks to address the growing mosquito population by employing hundreds of conservation officers in a new humane ‘catch and release’ program. “Here in Manitoba, we’re […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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