“Fearless” Invading Army Chased Out of Steinbach By a Gardening Implement


It was a battle for the ages … or as close as it gets in a town full of pacifists, anyway. A “brave and mighty” army of “fearless” warriors from Winnipeg (and a few other places that aren’t actually Steinbach) invaded Steinbach yesterday and were quickly chased out of town by a branch trimmer.

“Geez, we never thought those Steinbachers would be armed,” said one invading soldier. “All I came with was a dirty pickup truck and a misspelled anti-science poster hanging from my window.”

Another weapon in the Anti-Science Army repertoire is honking their horns at elderly people in condos.

“It’s really a David and Goliath battle,” said the soldier. “It’s us–David obviously–versus a guy with a garden tool and bunch of angry seniors.”

Despite putting up a valiant effort, the Anti-Science Army did not prevail and, instead, spurred on 18,000 Steinbachers to take public health orders seriously.

“Looks like it backfired,” said the soldier. “We tried to invade this place and they kept telling us to get out of town. I guess we’ll have to invade an easier target next time.”

Thoroughly defeated, and embarrassed at their despicable behaviour, the invading army went back to Winnipeg (and a few other places that aren’t actually Steinbach) with their freshly-trimmed tails between their legs.

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