OTTAWA, ON After pressure from the country’s Mennonite population, the government of Canada has decided to reallocate its entire military budget into efforts to promote peace and pacifism. “Our goal is to spend 5% of […]
SOME CITY YOU’VE NEVER HEARD OF, COUNTRY YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT An innocent civilian in some other country is super grateful to all the foreign powers who decided the best way to bring about his […]
MOSCOW, RUSSIA “Christian” man Vladimir Putin has graciously decided to stop killing fellow Christians for a full fifteen minutes this Easter Sunday. “This is a time when we pause to reflect on our Lord and […]
WASHINGTON, DC 130 hymn-singing Mennonites were arrested in Washington, DC this week and charged with being, “like, way too peaceful and stuff.” The arrests came after several dozen Mennonites sat down in the Cannon Hill […]
OSLO, NORWAY After the passing of everyone’s favourite war criminal this week, the Nobel committee in Oslo has decided to solidify the mistake they made in 1973 by renaming the Nobel Peace Prize as the […]
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