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Month: January 2021

Quizzes

Can You Identify These Mennonite Cities from Aerial Photos?

January 31, 2021 Andrew

When your dead relatives look down at you and shake their heads at all your secret bad deeds, well, just what vantage point are they looking from anyway? How much can they really see? We […]

Unger Conviction

Long Forgotten Episode of ‘The Simpsons’ Eerily Predicts the New ‘Voices Together’ Hymnal

January 30, 2021 Andrew

HARRISONBURG, VA Over the years, long running television sitcom The Simpsons has correctly predicted everything from smartphones to the election of Donald Trump. Well now you can add the new ‘Voices Together’ hymnal to that […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Hedge Funds Shorting Stock at Quilt Auction

January 29, 2021 Andrew

BUCKS COUNTY, PA Mennonite quilt stocks have been soaring this week after a group of Mennonites on Reddit decided to bankrupt the billionaire Mennonite church elders who’d been shorting the precious quilt stock. “Honestly, I […]

The Daily Bonnet

No One Elected to Baseball Hall of Fame Except for this One Mennonite Dude from Rosenhof

January 28, 2021 Andrew

COOPERSTOWN, NY Move over Curt Schilling. For the second time in the last ten years, the Baseball Hall of Fame has decided that absolutely no one except for a Warkentin from Rosenhof was worthy of induction. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Career Fair Offers Two Options: Preacher or Farmer

January 27, 2021 Andrew

LINDEN, AB The Mennonite Career Fair of Southern Alberta met in Linden this week to offer graduating students a wide range of job options: preacher or, even, farmer. “First we get the young people to […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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