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Month: August 2018

The Daily Bonnet

Local Man’s Hilarious Wikipedia Edit About Mennonites Goes Unnoticed for Six Years

August 31, 2018 Andrew

WATERLOO, ON Back in the winter of 2012, then Conrad Grebel student, Jakob Klassen, 23, of Aylmer edited the Wikipedia page about Mennonites to include numerous hilarious but erroneous bits of information. Klassen was shocked […]

The Daily Bonnet

Six Hospitalized After Jesus Takes the Wheel

August 30, 2018 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN Four Yoders and two Millers were rushed to the hospital in Goshen this week after Mr. Yoder decided to relinquish his driving duties and let Jesus take over. “I was heading down the […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Uses Potato Sack Race to Determine New Pastor

August 29, 2018 Andrew

LINDEN, AB Deviating from the common practice of determining all leadership positions by the drawing of straws, the folks at West Linden Mennonite have decided to pick a new head honcho using a potato sack […]

Unger Suspicion

Alt-Right Group Protests Wildfire Smoke that’s “Illegally” Crossing into the US from Canada

August 28, 2018 Andrew

SPOKANE, WA There was a massive demonstration in Spokane this week as between five and seven people showed up to protest the wildfire smoke that’s been illegally crossing the border in the last couple weeks. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Anabaptist Heroes to be Added to Mount Rushmore

August 27, 2018 Andrew

BLACK HILLS, SD Four new faces are set to be blasted into the rock at Mount Rushmore this fall. After a long consultation process, a committee has selected the names of Menno Simons, Conrad Grebel, Jakob […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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