Grandma Plett Discovers Bible iPhone App, Disrupts Service

LINDEN, AB

Grandma Plett, 81, of Linden Menno Manor, recently discovered a handy new Bible app on her iPhone. The app features large print and the ability to have Morgan Freeman read the Bible aloud to you. The problem is that Mrs. Plett discovered this feature in the middle of Pastor Dave’s sermon.

“There I was preaching away from the book of Acts, when all the sudden I hear Morgan Freeman saying ‘When the day of Pentecost came, they were all together in one place. Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting,'” explained Pastor Dave. “Then I saw Mrs. Plett scrambling to turn off her phone….it look her about five minutes.”

With her volume on maximum, the digital Morgan Freeman continued to read: “They saw what seemed to be tongues of fire that separated and came to rest on each of them. All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit enabled them.”

Mrs. Plett pushed this button and that button but, for the life of her, just couldn’t get Morgan to shut up.

“Oba, nay! Please, oh, I’m so sorry. How do you…Oba!” said Mrs. Plett frantically flailing away at her phone.

Pastor Dave eventually sent a deacon to help her with her problem and pray with the distraught woman.

“At least we know she was following along with the right passage,” said Pastor Dave. “I’m also happy to honoured to have Morgan Freeman join us at our service.”

Mrs. Plett promises to never touch her phone ever again.

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