Local Church Consists Entirely of Just Kehlers


New records reveal that an area Mennonite church is made up entirely of just one large Kehler family and a few women who’ve married in.

“No wonder they call it the Kehler Church,” said rival family-church leader Mr. Plett, who heads a congregation made up almost entirely of just Pletts. “Just look at their church board. It’s J.P. Kehler, P.J. Kehler, P.J. Kehler Jr., “Fuela” Kehler, Kelly Kehler, and Kale Kehler.”

The church is officially known as the First Gruenhimmel EMMBC, but everyone knows it as the “Kehler Church.”

“You have to be a Kehler or marry a Kehler to get in there,” said Plett. “The Kehlers started that church back in 1878 and they ain’t giving up their territory.”

A few Kehlers in the extended Kehler family had started attending one of those evangelical churches in the city, but they were quickly brought back into the fold.

“We told them they’d lose their parking spaces unless they started showing up on Sunday right here where the Kehlers belong,” said board chair J.P. Kehler. “Plus they didn’t want to lose their chance to be buried in the Kehler family plot.”

A sign outside the church states that “All are Welcome” but everyone in the area knows, come Sunday morning, there’s nary a Goerzen nor a Goossen to be seen for miles around.

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