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The Daily Bonnet

Left Lane Between Steinbach and Blumenort to be Designated “Slow Minivan Lane”

September 22, 2026 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB After extensive traffic studies on Highway 12 north of Steinbach this summer, the Manitoba Road Authority has decided to designate the left lane to be used exclusively by families driving excruciatingly slow and/or […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mr. Penner Flicks For Triple Word Score

July 31, 2026 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB Normally Mr. Penner can be pretty confident that he’ll come out on top anytime the knipsbrat board is placed in front of him. But a mixup with the knipsers this afternoon really had […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Aunt Shocked To Discover She’s Been Excluded From Family Group Chat This Whole Time

July 24, 2026 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Taunte Tina of Winkler has recently discovered she’d been excluded from the Klippenstein family group chat for the past 10 years. “Oba, they were talking about the upcoming Klippenstein gathering and who was […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Honour Dad by Making Him Come Over and Fix Stuff

June 21, 2026 Andrew

TABER, AB A young Mennonite couple invited Dad over this Sunday afternoon to fix the leaking tap and a couple other things that were wrong with the house. “Happy Father’s Day, Dad,” said Samantha Penner. […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Families Camp Overnight for Mother’s Day Buffet

May 11, 2024 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Dozens of families spilled out into neighbouring canola fields this evening in anticipation of tomorrow’s Mother’s Day buffet at the MHV. “Oba, look at those Kroekers way in the back there,” said Mrs. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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