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Month: October 2021

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Pastor Dresses Up as Lutheran this Morning

October 31, 2021 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Pastor Jim of South Abbotsford Mennonite decided he’d dress up in as scary a costume as he could think of: a Lutheran. “You should have seen the look on Mrs. Klassen’s face,” said […]

The Daily Bonnet

Chaos in Steinbach as No One Knows if Halloween is Tonight or Not

October 30, 2021 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Thousands of confused Steinbachers took to the streets tonight apparently under the impression that maybe, just maybe, Halloween might be on Saturday this year… or on Sunday like the calendar says, but who […]

Unger Conviction

10 Totally Bogus Religious Exemptions You Can Demand Right Now!

October 29, 2021 Andrew

Got a pebble in your shoe? Is something irking or irritating you? Are you looking for a totally bogus religious exemption? Well, you’ve come to the right place! As of today, I’m officially declaring the […]

The Daily Bonnet

“Don’t Put All Your Abes in One Basket”: 10 Mennonite Idioms

October 28, 2021 Andrew

Since the publication of Poor Obrum’s Almanack by Benjamin Friesen in 1732, these Abe-related idioms have become part of Mennonite discourse. They’re recited to children before bed and frequently overheard in conversation at MJ’s. Be warned, […]

Unger Suspicion

Jets Change Time of December 5 Game to Accommodate Faspa

October 27, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After it was discovered that the Winnipeg Blue Bombers’ home playoff game on Sunday December 5 was in direct conflict with the Jets game at the same time, it became immediately clear that […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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