Uncle Undoes Pants Button to Make Room for More Sausage


At about 2:00 pm this Sunday, the eating time at the Vogt family picnic at AD Penner Park was thought to be over. The kids had moved on to play on the zip-line, while the adults were catching up on the latest gossip. Even the cutlery had already been washed and the paper plates disposed.

“We thought it was all over and we could just relax and enjoy the weather,” said Alice Vogt. “Then my brother Peter undid the top button of his pants and we knew we were in for it.”

The rest of the Vogts watched in horror as Uncle Pete made room for more sausage.

“Man, that guy never stops eating,” said Alice. “All afternoon he’s picking away at the formavorscht. It never ends!”

Alice said she’d seen this move before. The undoing of the pant button is a classic Mennonite man move, learned during centuries of near starvation in the old country.

“The move has been passed on generation after generation. You see a bead of sweat on his forehead, he wipes it off, leans back in his chair, stretches out his legs and then pops open the button before resuming his position hunched over at the picnic table,” described Alice. “We could tell he was settling in for long haul.”

Uncle Pete reportedly did not refasten his button the entire afternoon…but, with the extra belly space, did manage to cram in two more rings of farmer sausage before the family gathering was dismissed due to rain.

(photo credit: by Tobyotter/CC)

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