Experts Warn Mennonites Against Using Homemade Eclipse Glasses


Not wanting to shell out the cash for real eclipse glasses, thousands of Mennonites in southern Ontario have taken to crafting protective eyewear of their own. Peter Wiens of Leamington, for example, says he’ll be sporting a watermelon rind during tomorrow’s eclipse.

“Oba, I’m not going to buy one from the Walmarts or what have you,” said Wiens. “If my Tina can sew clothes for the whole family, then surely she can make some eclipse glasses yet.”

Experts, however, warn Mennonites against using anything other than approved eclipse glasses.

“Please, friends, for once do not try this at home,” said Dr. Plett. “We know you’re an ingenious and self-reliant bunch, but this is not a time when you want to take matters into your own hands.”

The use of watermelon eclipse glasses will be put to a vote at the bruderschaft meeting later this evening, followed quickly by a vote on whether to continue using Roger’s Golden Syrup as sunscreen.

(photo credit: Ted Van Pelt/CC)

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