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Month: June 2025

Unger Games

Stanley Cup Playoffs to be Extended Well into July Next Year

June 30, 2025 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY Hockey has long been designated a cold weather sport, but not so in the Bettman era, where desert cities are given franchises and the Stanley Cup final stretches well into spring. “Next […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Wears 10 Layers of Clothes to Avoid Paying for Carry On Bag

June 29, 2025 Andrew

ST. CATHERINE’S, ON Mrs. Berg of St. Catherine’s, Ontario has successfully flown all the way to Abbotsford this week without a single person noticing her thick layer of clothes. “Got any bags to check?” said […]

Unger Games

Portage and Main Pedestrians Fuel Rumours Jets Won the Cup

June 28, 2025 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Rumours about a Winnipeg Jets Stanley Cup victory have been spreading this weekend after pedestrians were spotted crossing Portage and Main for the first time since the mid-70s. “People above ground at Portage […]

The Daily Bonnet

Marge Simpson to be Buried in Rural Saskatchewan

June 27, 2025 Andrew

HERBERT, SK Beloved blue-haired mother-of-three Marge Simpson will be buried this week in a family plot near Herbert, Saskatchewan. “We ask that the public is respectful at this time of mourning for the Simpson family,” […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man to Hold the Exact Same Opinion About Everything for the Next Fifty Years

June 26, 2025 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Area man Garth Martens has reached the age of 31, which means he will now settle all his opinions and judgments of taste and not diverge from these for the rest of […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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