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Unger the Influence

Crokinole Board Hauled Out to Quiet Divisive Political Discussions

December 29, 2024 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC The political discussions got so heated at the Loewen gathering this past week, that Mrs. Annie Loewen decided “enough was enough,” and decided to haul out the kjnipsbrat, which studies have shown is […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Caught Skipping Family Gathering to Hang Out at The Public

August 12, 2023 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Dave Isaac of Yarrow, BC drove all the way out to southern Manitoba this week for the bi-annual Isaac Gathering, but wound up spending the entire weekend at The Public Brewhouse and Gallery […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Children Excited for Annual Paska Bun Hunt

April 9, 2023 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON The Koops gathered in Leamington this Sunday for the annual Koop Paska bun hunt. This year the delicious white icing was delicately applied by Oma Koop right before the uncles hid the buns […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Scramble to Book the Common Room at Oma’s Manor for Upcoming Christmas Gatherings

September 19, 2022 Andrew

BLACK CREEK, BC Mennonites across the continent were in a mad dash this week to book the common room at oma’s manor for upcoming Christmas gatherings. “If you don’t book it by mid-September you’re out […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Family Invites ‘Oma Krahn’ to Christmas Gathering

December 18, 2021 Andrew

SCHANZENGRUENBACH, SK The Epp family of Schanzengruenbach have extended a warm Schanzengruenbach welcome to special guest Oma Krahn this weekend. “Ah, Oma Krahn, welcome, welcome, I see you’ve brought along the bean salad,” said Mr. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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