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farmer sausage

Unger & Thirst

Southeast Event Centre Introduces New Slogan: Fuelled by Formavorscht

January 11, 2025 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB The new state-of-the-art Southeast Event Centre in downtown Steinbach just unveiled a new slogan that represents the passion and potential of the community – Fuelled by Formavorscht. “More farmer sausage is produced and […]

Unger & Thirst

Mysterious New Condiment Perplexes Mennonite Diners

September 27, 2024 Andrew

GREENLAND, MB The Toews family of Greenland was sent into crisis mode this Friday evening after a jar of salsa was discovered on the table next to the farmer sausage. “I’m shook to the core,” […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Tries to Pass Off Farmer Sausage as Kubasa

September 8, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Jake Reimer’s attempt at serving his guests “kubasa” this weekend utterly failed after he figured he could toss a clove of garlic in with the farmer sausage and fool everyone. “He thought a […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Hooked on Niakwa ‘Farmer’s Special’ Pizza

September 5, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB “Farmer sausage on pizza, yet!” proclaimed Joseph Kehler of Winnipeg the first time he discovered it 15 years ago. Since then, Kehler has been consuming the Niakwa Farmer’s Special every day, which has […]

Unger & Thirst

French Pole Vaulter Signs Farmer Sausage Endorsement Deal

August 9, 2024 Andrew

PARIS, FRANCE A mishap on the pole vault may have cost Anthony Ammirati a medal, but he’s more than made up for it in lucrative endorsement deals. Just this week, Ammirati inked a $12 million […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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