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Month: January 2018

Quizzes

How Many of These Typical Mennonite Things Have You Done?

January 31, 2018 Andrew

How Mennonite are you? Give yourself one point for each of the following typical Mennonite things you’ve done. Add up your score. How many points did you get? Been baptized (not as an infant) Sang […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Town Bans Using Turn Signals

January 30, 2018 Andrew

NEUSCHANZENBACH, MB In an effort to stave off encroaching worldliness, the small Mennonite town of Neuschanzenbach has banned the use of turn signals, driving with the headlights on, and shoulder-checking before changing lanes. The new […]

The Daily Bonnet

Police Raid Mennonite Gambling Den, Seize Hundreds of Rook Cards

January 29, 2018 Andrew

WICHITA, KS Wichita police stormed a notorious local gambling den this week, arresting more than two dozen Mennonites and seizing countless decks of Rook cards. The raid is the largest bust of Mennonite gamblers since […]

The Daily Bonnet

Rare Plautdietsch Dictionary Nets $2.3 Million at Sotheby’s Auction

January 29, 2018 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY Bidding was frenzied at a recent antiquarian book auction in New York City this week. Of particular interest to collectors was a rare out-of-print copy of Dr. Jack Thiessen’s ‘Mennonite Low German […]

Unger Conviction

Millennial Puts on Her Nicest Ripped Jeans for Church this Sunday

January 28, 2018 Andrew

ROSTHERN, SK A 20-something at South Rosthern MB church decided to dress up in her finest attire this Sunday, which consisted of tight ripped blue jeans and an Old Navy sweatshirt, the most formal clothes […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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