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weather

Unger Suspicion

Winnipeg Forecast Calls for -8 Today or -230 with Windchill

December 8, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB According to expert meteorologists, the City of Winnipeg is forecasted to hit a high of -8 today … or -230 if you factor in the windchill. “It’s going to be downright balmy! Single […]

The Daily Bonnet

Uncouth Manitoban Carries Umbrella with Him All Over Abbotsford

October 11, 2022 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Manitoba man Colin Hiebert stood out like a sore thumb on his recent trip to Abbotsford as he hauled his umbrella all over town, while the hearty locals were more than tolerant of […]

Unger Suspicion

Manitobans Required to Lounge Around in Towels and Pretend the Whole Province is One Big Sauna

July 22, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Due to a recent heat wave, the entire province of Manitoba has been declared one massive sauna and all residents are being asked to strip down to the bare essentials and laze about […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Under the Impression that Opening a Few Windows Will Cool Things Down in Here

June 23, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Despite soaring temperatures, Mrs. Kroeker of Winkler is under the impression that opening a few windows should do the trick. “Air conditioning? Waut de hunt!” exclaimed Mrs. Kroeker. “In my day we didn’t […]

Unger Suspicion

Biblical Fiery Furnace Located in Southern Manitoba

June 20, 2022 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB After years of searching, local archeologists have discovered the fiery furnace mentioned in the Book of Daniel. It turns out if was just outside Kleefeld, Manitoba this whole time. “We’ve searched all over […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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