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Month: July 2022

The Daily Bonnet

Costumed Museum Volunteer Mistaken for “Real Authentic Mennonite”

July 31, 2022 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB More than a thousand eager photographers from the city stopped to get a snapshot of museum volunteer Erin Bergmann this afternoon, figuring they had got themselves a photo of a “real authentic Mennonite.” […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Tucks His Beloved Ronnie’s Into Bed For the Night

July 30, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB After decades of searching for love with no success, local man Arnold Hiebert, 63, has finally found his lifelong companion. Arnold is now officially betrothed to a bag of Ronnie’s Jumbo dill pickle […]

Unger Conviction

Hillsong Documentary Crew Turns Lens on Tiny Mennonite Country Church

July 29, 2022 Andrew

BLUMENGART, SK Fresh off the success of their Hillsong documentary, the Discovery Channel is now pointing its lens at the tiny Blumengart EMBCCMCBB church in rural Saskatchewan. “We spent six months there with hidden cameras […]

Unger Suspicion

Church Elders Launch Powerful ‘James Wiebe Telescope’ to Keep An Eye on Misbehaving Mennonites

July 28, 2022 Andrew

SPACE The recently launched James Wiebe Telescope has stunned the world with images of Mennonites even more remarkable than those found in the work of renowned photographer Larry Towell. “We’re finally able to see the […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Travellers Required to Dispose of Roll Kuchen Before Boarding

July 27, 2022 Andrew

LANGHAM, SK The security line at the Langham International Airport was around the block this weekend after the federal government passed a new law requiring all Mennonites to dispose of their roll kuchen and syrup […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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