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Unger Suspicion

Car Manages to Stay Clean for a Record Two Minutes After Leaving Car Wash

March 15, 2024 Andrew

BRANDON, MB Area woman Diane Fuchs has set a Western Manitoba record this afternoon after managing to keep her CR-V clean for a full two minutes and 14 seconds after leaving the car wash. “It […]

The Daily Bonnet

Snowfall Finally Convinces Manitobans They Don’t Actually Live in BC

December 12, 2023 Andrew

CARMAN, MB Derek Loeppky of Carman, who had been living it up like a British Columbian for the past several months, was absolutely devastated this weekend to find out he actually lived in Manitoba. “There […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Refuses to Do Her Christmas Shopping Until There’s Snow on the Ground

November 16, 2023 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Mrs. Ruth Peters of Winkler is amassing a long list of presents to buy, all because the lack of snow on the ground this November has not put her in the right mood […]

Unger Suspicion

Manitobans Shocked to Experience an Actual Fall this Year

October 22, 2023 Andrew

BRANDON, MB The province of Manitoba has been in a state of complete shock for the past month as, for some strange reason, winter didn’t follow immediately after summer this year. “Orange leaves, temperate weather? […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Features First Air Conditioned Sanctuary in Town

July 25, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Thousands of eager worshippers flocked to South Elmwood Mennonite Church this Sunday to experience their first ever summer service without pit stains. “Ahhh, this is the life,” said new parishioner Jack Baerg, who […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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