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taco bell

Unger & Thirst

Steinbach Finally Gets an Authentic Mexican Restaurant

September 24, 2024 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Several years after an earlier version of the same restaurant shuttered its doors, Taco Bell is once again opening in the city. The announcement is exciting locals who will finally get their authentic […]

Unger & Thirst

Delta Passengers Offered Free Taco Bell Coupon

September 10, 2023 Andrew

ATLANTA, GA Passengers on the ill-fated Delta Airlines flight this week were offered a $5 coupon to Taco Bell as compensation for their unfortunate trip. “This is just one way we’re giving back to the […]

Unger & Thirst

Local KFC Sees 50% Reduction in Diarrhea After Getting Rid of Taco Bell

July 13, 2023 Andrew

ELKHART, IN Students at Anabaptist Mennonite Theological Seminary in Elkhart have reported a significant reduction in diarrhea cases this semester after the local KFC kicked out the adjoining Taco Bell. “Quite frankly, it’s a relief,” […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Regrets Ordering Taco Bell Right Before Church

December 2, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Area man Jack Friesen had a real hankering for Taco Bell this past Sunday morning, but instantly regretted it the moment he sat down in church. “Yeah, well, it all tastes good going […]

Unger Suspicion

Taco Bell Purchases John Coltrane Catalogue for $200 Million

July 13, 2022 Andrew

IRVINE, CA In an effort to attract a more sophisticated audience, fast food giant Taco Bell is in talks to purchase the music catalogues of jazz legends Bill Evans, Charles Mingus, and John Coltrane. “A […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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