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Month: September 2020

Unger Conviction

Chris Wallace to Moderate Upcoming Mennonite Church Board Meeting

September 30, 2020 Andrew

AKRON, PA After a stellar performance at the Presidential debate in which he always had things under complete control, Fox News anchor Chris Wallace has been tasked with his biggest challenge yet: moderating an upcoming […]

Unger & Thirst

Little Abe Confuses Smoke Shack for Outhouse

September 28, 2020 Andrew

WARMAN, SK Little Abe Wiebe, 7, of Warman really had to go after a vigorous game of horseshoes with the cousin on Saturday and, so, ran for the nearest outhouse he could find. “No, Abie, […]

Unger & Thirst

Pembina Valley Excited for ‘Vereniki Week’ Competition

September 27, 2020 Andrew

MORDEN, MB While Morden may have the edge in craft beer, when it comes to vereniki and schmaunt fat, the neighbouring community of Winkler really shines. This year, the annual Vereniki Week competition has more […]

The Daily Bonnet

Steinbach Driver Given Five Demerits for ‘Driving Like a Steinbacher’

September 26, 2020 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Mr. Reimer was pulled over this week for ‘driving like he doesn’t know what the heck he’s doing’ aka ‘driving like a Steinbacher’. Reimer is a test subject for a new public safety […]

Unger Conviction

Report: 97% of Mennonites Still Refer to ‘Mennonite Church’ as ‘General Conference’

September 25, 2020 Andrew

ELKHART, IN The General Conference, I mean Mennonite Church, would like to clarify something for everyone. The denomination changed it’s name quite a while ago and wishes people would get it right already. “The General […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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