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Month: November 2017

Unger Suspicion

$8 Billion Marijuana Theme Park to Be Built on Parliament Hill

November 30, 2017 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON As part of the Canada 150 celebrations, the Trudeau Government has just announced the construction of a multi-billion dollar Cannabis Land theme park on Parliament Hill. After a rigorous consultation process, which included […]

Unger Suspicion

Harry and Meghan to Wed in Exclusive Morden, Manitoba Castle

November 30, 2017 Andrew

MORDEN, MB Prince Harry and fiance Meghan Markle have announced Morden, Manitoba as the location of their 2018 summer wedding. The couple was attracted to the small Manitoba city by the abundance of castle-like buildings […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Bans Google Chrome

November 29, 2017 Andrew

STRASBURG, PA The leadership at South Strasburg EMB passed a resolution this week banning the use of the Google Chrome web browser. Church members caught using Google Chrome will be forced to paint their computer […]

Unger Suspicion

7 Rock Songs We Should Sing in Church

November 28, 2017 Andrew

So, I know the elders won’t be in favour of this, but if we’re not going to sing hymns, we should at least sing something better than the “Jesus is my boyfriend” lyrics found in […]

The Daily Bonnet

Schekjbenjel to Marry Malkmäakjskhe

November 27, 2017 Andrew

THALBACH, MEXICO Mr. Peter and Aganetha Krahn of Swift Current Colony, Mexico are pleased to announce the engagement of their 18-year-old Malkmäakjskhe Susan to local Schekjbenjel Harry Wall of nearby Manitoba Colony. The wedding is to […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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