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Month: September 2023

Unger Games

Canadian Swifties Demand Taylor Date at Least One CFL Star

September 25, 2023 Andrew

TORONTO, ON After word got out that Taylor Swift was dating NFL star Travis Kelce, north-of-the-border Swifties are demanding that she “stop ignoring our league.” “What has she got against Canadian football? There’s a lot […]

Unger Games

Curling Match Cancelled After Mennonite Men Refuse to Cast the First Stone

September 23, 2023 Andrew

ALTONA, MB The curling season in Altona, Manitoba has been postponed this weekend after Mr. Plett and Mr. Kroeker both refused to cast the first stone. “I blame Pastor Ron,” said local curling fan Dave […]

The Daily Bonnet

David Bergen Discovers Long Lost Twin Brother Maurice Mierau

September 22, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The crowd at the McNally Robinson atrium last night were left in a state of confusion after two men appeared on stage, each bearing an uncanny resemblance to author David Bergen.  “Apparently one […]

Daily Bonnet

The Roman Empire: Why Mennonites Just Can’t Stop Thinking About It

September 20, 2023 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK According to a viral trend on TikTok, Mennonites think about the Roman Empire three or four times a week, more often than food, sex, or even church. “It’s shocking. I had no idea,” […]

Unger Games

NFL Announces New Gruelling 162-Game Schedule

September 19, 2023 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY In an effort to increase revenues and compete with baseball, starting next season the National Football League will be expanding it’s season to a full 162 games. “I’m not sure how we […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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