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Month: August 2023

Unger & Thirst

Farmer Sausage Added to Subway Meat Options

August 31, 2023 Andrew

KLEINFELD, SK Thousands of Mennonites have petitioned the Canadian government to intervene at Subway restaurants and provide meat options that match their particular palate. “I’m tired of being discriminated against with a lack of Mennonite […]

The Daily Bonnet

Manitoba to be Renamed Mennotoba

August 27, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB In a 7-2 decision this past week, the Supreme Court of Manitoba has voted to change the name of the province to Mennotoba … in honour of the Friesens. “There are more Friesens […]

Unger & Thirst

First Time In-N-Out Customers Accidentally Order “Doggie Style” Burger

August 26, 2023 Andrew

FRESNO, CA Lois and Pete Janzen were visiting their cousins in Fresno, California this week when they decided to try the only burger place that has Bible verses on the cups. “Naturally, if you’re in […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Spends All Day at Hardware Store Trying to Find the Wood Stretcher

August 25, 2023 Andrew

ROSTHERN, SK Abe Epp, Rosthern’s most respected schekjbenjel, spend more than 8 hours at the Home Depot there in Saskatoon trying to find the wood stretcher. “Diewel, I tried the lumber department and nothing. Then […]

The Daily Bonnet

Horse Shit Cleared from City Streets and Moved Online

August 24, 2023 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Once known as the City of Horses, you’re now more likely to see a pickup truck or minivan on the streets of Steinbach, Manitoba. This has left city employees with not as much […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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