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Month: September 2021

Unger Suspicion

Zondervan Releases New ‘Greatest Hits’ Bible

September 30, 2021 Andrew

GRAND RAPIDS, MICHIGAN HarperCollins-owned “Christian” publisher Zondervan has recently released a totally awesome new Bible that skips all the boring parts and just includes the stuff that people actually read today. “People don’t have time […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Caught Dealing Illegal Margarine Lids

September 29, 2021 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Altona police raided Mrs. Friesen’s pantry this past week in what is believed to the West Reserve’s largest ever margarine lid bust. “I’m innocent!” screamed Mrs. Friesen as she was dragged out of […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Attends Fifteen Bonfires in a Single Weekend

September 28, 2021 Andrew

VITA, MB The Loewens of Vita attended a record-setting fifteen bonfires over the weekend, beginning with an after-work birthday party on Friday and ending with a Sunday evening singalong at the Buckert’s place. “In between […]

Unger & Thirst

City of Steinbach Fills Water Tower with Roger’s Golden Syrup

September 27, 2021 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Just in the time for the last roll kuchen weekend of the season, the city of Steinbach has filled the water tower with Roger’s Golden Syrup. “Oba, I’m looking forward to my weekly […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Reminds Husband, “Gravy is not a beverage.”

September 26, 2021 Andrew

ST. CATHARINES, ON Earl Driedger, 61, of St. Catharines has been downing cups of beef gravy for years, much to the chagrin of his wife Brenda. “Just because you can drink it, doesn’t mean you […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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