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Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Caught Dealing Illegal Margarine Lids

September 29, 2021 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Altona police raided Mrs. Friesen’s pantry this past week in what is believed to the West Reserve’s largest ever margarine lid bust. “I’m innocent!” screamed Mrs. Friesen as she was dragged out of […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Eager to Tell Everyone About Her Medical History

September 8, 2021 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC Taunte Lina, 86, of Chilliwack was devastated to find a sign on the door of a local business saying that they were defying government health orders requiring proof of vaccination and would not […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winkler Grocery Store to Retain Mask Rule Just So Locals Have Something to Rebel Against

August 18, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB The management at the local DuperMart grocery store has decided to keep the mask law in place this summer just so that local folks can have a public place to blow off some […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Stocks Up on Dented Cans and Bruised Bananas

June 14, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Local woman Mrs. Epp was filling her cart to the brim with dented cans and bruised bananas this week, hoping that she could get a huge discount when she brought them to the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Scores Massive Haul of Northern Reflections Wolf Sweaters at MCC Store

May 8, 2021 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Eleanor Pankratz, 71, of Altona brought home the world’s largest collection of Northern Reflections wolf sweaters from her local MCC Store this week. “I’m beyond ecstatic,” said Pankratz, modelling a howling wolf sweatshirt […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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