OTTAWA, ON
Prime Minister Mark Carney has decided to raze more than 72 million acres of old growth forest in the province of British Columbia this week just to make sure every man, woman, and child in this country has a copy of Steven Guilbeault’s resignation letter.
“I’ve got the secretaries running off copies on the Xerox as we speak,” said Carney. “Single-sided, too.”
Guilbeault had recently become disenchanted with Carney’s environmental policy, a criticism that baffles the Prime Minister.
“I can’t really figure it out,” said Carney. “I mean, I’m sure that every Canadian who receives one of these resignation letters will be certain to recycle it.”
Carney said the mission is so important to him that he will personally deliver each letter.
“I’ve got the Hummer fuelled up and ready to go to make these deliveries,” said Carney. “It’ll take me a while, but it should be quicker than Canada Post at least.”
The resignation has Liberals worried they’re just one MP resignation away from going back to the minority government the Canadian people elected in the first place.
