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Unger Games

Winnipeg Jets Players Offered Part Time Jobs at Portage Place

March 11, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Rumours are swirling about the potential sale of Portage Place to True North, which is really exciting for all the Jets players clamouring to get part time custodial jobs. “I realized hockey wasn’t […]

The Daily Bonnet

Top 10 Stocking Stuffer Ideas for Mennonites

December 16, 2022 Andrew

Let’s face it. Gone are the days when a paper bag filled with peanuts is sufficient to satisfy the demands of a Mennonite child. These days all the city Mennos prefer socks filled with various […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman in Existential Crisis at Grocery Store

November 29, 2022 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Area woman Anne Loewen, 71, was in the greatest existential crisis of her life this Saturday afternoon after encountering bags of frozen potato and cheddar perogies alongside the cottage cheese perogies she’s used […]

Unger & Thirst

Daring Mennonite Couple to Try Costco Farmer Sausage

September 25, 2022 Andrew

VANAPAG, MB This evening at faspa, the Wiebes of Vankla will be the first ever southern Manitobans to eat the farmer sausage that, apparently, you can get at Costco. “Costco formarvorscht? I didn’t even know […]

The Daily Bonnet

“Zellers ain’t good enough!” Mennonites Demand Return of SAAN Stores

August 19, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB While there was some level of excitement for the return of Zellers stores, Mennonites across the Prairies are demanding the return of the even cheaper SAAN stores as well. “The only place that […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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