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Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Finally Finds Some Suitable Olive Oil

May 4, 2023 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC As Aganetha Kliewer, 72, of Chilliwack wandered the aisles of the local grocery store this week she was very excited to discovery an olive oil that was seemingly made just for her: extra […]

The Daily Bonnet

Romantic Mennonite Couple Break Tradition with Evening Meddachschlop Tonight

February 14, 2023 Andrew

ALTONA, MB The Friesens of Altona are breaking centuries of tradition this evening by having their afternoon nap (ie. meddachschlop) sometime this evening rather than just after lunch. “It’s Valentine’s Day, so my Harold thought […]

The Daily Bonnet

Kinky Mennonite Couple to Try 606ing Tonight

October 5, 2022 Andrew

FRESNO, CA After spending the weekend visiting some GCer friends in Indiana, MBers Marge and Albert Wiens are eager to get home and “try out 606” for themselves. “All weekend long, our General Conference friends […]

Unger Conviction

Chaste Young Mennonites Pledge to Save Hymnal-Sharing for Marriage

August 4, 2022 Andrew

GOESSEL, KS Thousands of young Mennonites at the annual ‘Chaste Your Future’ event came forward at the end of a stirring sermon by youth pastor Dan and pledged to save hymnal-sharing for marriage. “I know […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Notices “Chastity” Sign Just 20 Minutes Too Late

May 13, 2022 Andrew

MORDEN, MB Morden’s famous “Chastity” sign was a little too far down the road for local dating couple Jeremy Goertzen and Amy Fehr, who had just spent considerable time in the back seat of Jeremy’s […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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