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Month: June 2017

The Daily Bonnet

What Are the 150 Most Significant Moments in Canadian Mennonite History?

June 30, 2017 Andrew

Canada turns 150 years old tomorrow, so the Daily Bonnet has compiled a list of the 150 50 great, and not-so-great, moments in Canadian Mennonite history. These are all real (not satire) and in chronological order. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Report: Cows Don’t Like Being Tipped

June 30, 2017 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK According to a recent study from the University of Saskatoon, cows, particularly Holsteins and Herefords, prefer not to be tipped over on their sides while they sleep. “It’s shocking really,” said study co-ordinator […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Refuses to Pay for Superstore Bags

June 29, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local woman Doris Goosen had her arms full yet again on Thursday evening after she refused to pay the 5 cents for the Superstore plastic bags. “I don’t care if it take me […]

Unger & Thirst

Retiring Teacher Quickly Consumes 30 Years Worth of Apples

June 29, 2017 Andrew

GRETNA, MB With just two days remaining in his illustrious teaching career, retiring teacher Willy Epp of Klaas Reimer Memorial School, decided it was high time he ate all the apples he’d been given over the past thirty years. “I […]

The Daily Bonnet

High German Mennonite Clings Desperately to False Sense of Superiority Over Low German Mennonite

June 28, 2017 Andrew

BLUMENBACH, SK Thanks to a complete accident of birth, Miss Annie B. Epp of Blumenbach was born to a High German speaking family. For some reason, Epp, a sad and delusional woman, believes that this linguistic […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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