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abbotsford

Unger Suspicion

Abbotsford Woman Mortgages House to Pay for Taylor Swift Tickets

November 5, 2023 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC As soon as Taylor Swift announced her upcoming Vancouver shows, area woman Megan Berg was on the phone with the loans department at her local credit union. “The house is worth 2.3 million, […]

Unger & Thirst

Abbotsford Family Subsists All Summer on Blackberries Picked By the Side of the Road

July 28, 2023 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC The Neufelds of Abbotsford have been eating nothing but wild blackberries from the side of the road this entire summer and Earl is getting a little cranky at the lack of variety. “Ugh, […]

Unger the Influence

Abbotsford Residents Concerned for Columbia Bible College after Poilievre Calls to ‘Defund the CBC’

April 18, 2023 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Residents of Abbotsford, BC, were concerned this week after it appeared that Conservative leader Pierre Poilievre was mounting a campaign to defund their local Mennonite Bible college, the CBC. “Oba, waut de schissjat […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Communities Eager to Put a Siemens in Charge

November 12, 2022 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC (with files from WINKLER, MB) There is a growing trend in traditionally-Mennonite communities across Canada – putting a Siemens in charge. This month civic elections in both Abbotsford and Winkler sent a Siemens to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Uncouth Manitoban Carries Umbrella with Him All Over Abbotsford

October 11, 2022 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Manitoba man Colin Hiebert stood out like a sore thumb on his recent trip to Abbotsford as he hauled his umbrella all over town, while the hearty locals were more than tolerant of […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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