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Month: November 2022

Unger Games

New Card Game ‘German Blitz’ Fails to Catch On

November 30, 2022 Andrew

BERLIN, GERMANY After visiting Pennsylvania last year, German inventor Andreas Fischer discovered a favourite new card game and decided to make a version of his own. Unfortunately for Fischer the game has not really caught […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Disaster Volunteers Brought in to Fix Ticketmaster

November 28, 2022 Andrew

PHOENIX, AZ After the Taylor Swift presale crashed the Ticketmaster website this week, Mennonite disaster volunteers have been flown to Ticketmaster headquarters to fix the problem. “I must say, we’ve never responded to a disaster […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Slops $1000 Worth of Caesar Salad on His Plate

November 27, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Abe Toews of Winkler was at the extended Toews gathering this weekend when he got to the end of the potluck line and decided he had just enough room on his plate for […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Potato Farmer Proclaims Himself “Dyck Tater for Life”

November 26, 2022 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Rudy Dyck from just outside of Swift Current has taken control of a large potato farm this week and refuses to share power with anyone else. “This is not one of them […]

Unger Suspicion

Two Canadians Bump Into Each Other, Both Say “I’m Sorry”

November 25, 2022 Andrew

HAMILTON, ON On a busy Hamilton street this afternoon, two Canadian were texting as they walked and slammed right into one another, both loudly proclaiming that they were “sorry, buddy.” “This is impossible. It had […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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