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Month: April 2023

Unger Games

Jets Disgusted After Disgusting Performance Leads Coach to be Disgusted

April 30, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After a disgustingly quick exit from the NHL playoff, the Winnipeg Jets players are absolutely disgusted to discover their own coach was disgusted with their disgusting performance. “I’m absolutely disgusted that he’d call […]

Unger Suspicion

Newfoundland’s Dyck-Shaped Iceberg Goes Viral

April 29, 2023 Andrew

ST. JOHN’S, NFLD A massive Dyck-shaped iceberg off the coast of Newfoundland has gone viral this week, as iceberg lovers claim they’ve never seen anything like it before. “Icebergs come in all shapes and sizes,” […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Young People Invade Perkins on Fermor

April 28, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After attending a Christian punk rock show at Southdale Baptist, a group of Mennonite College and Career kids from Steinbach have decided to stop for some French Silk pie and coffee at Perkins […]

Unger & Thirst

Thousands Line Up for CMU’s Annual Farmer Sausage Blowout

April 27, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The lineup at CommonWord stretched more than three miles down Shaftesbury Blvd. this week for CMU’s annual farmer sausage sale. “We’re Canadian Mennonite University’s bookstore and resource centre so naturally we have a […]

Unger Suspicion

Tucker Carlson Discovered Knacking Zoat in Jeans Shorts at the Pits

April 25, 2023 Andrew

GRUENHIMMELFELD, MB It seems that Fox News star Tucker Carlson has settled in very nicely to his new role as half-drunk guy in cutoff jeans shorts at the pits. Moments after being fired by the […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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