The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

abbotsford

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Communities Eager to Put a Siemens in Charge

November 12, 2022 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC (with files from WINKLER, MB) There is a growing trend in traditionally-Mennonite communities across Canada – putting a Siemens in charge. This month civic elections in both Abbotsford and Winkler sent a Siemens to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Uncouth Manitoban Carries Umbrella with Him All Over Abbotsford

October 11, 2022 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Manitoba man Colin Hiebert stood out like a sore thumb on his recent trip to Abbotsford as he hauled his umbrella all over town, while the hearty locals were more than tolerant of […]

Unger & Thirst

Abbotsford Man Subsists Entirely on Rempel’s Farmer Sausage Soup

September 5, 2022 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC For more than 17 years, local man Earl Penner has eaten nothing but Rempel’s Farmer Sausage Soup at Ricky’s breakfast, lunch, and dinner. “Ever since my Martha passed away, I’ve been coming here […]

The Daily Bonnet

Family Sells Modest Bungalow in Abbotsford to Live Like Kings in Winnipeg

September 4, 2022 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC The Janzens have just sold their modest 1100 sq. foot bungalow in Abbotsford and are using the funds to live like kings the rest of their lives in Winnipeg. “Even when you factor […]

Unger Suspicion

Fraser Valley Renamed ‘Frasier Valley’ After Kelsey Grammer Visit

July 20, 2022 Andrew

GREENDALE, BC A recent visit to the region by 90s sitcom star Kelsey Grammer has caused such a stir that locals have petitioned authorities to rename the area ‘Frasier Valley.’ “We’ve never had such a […]

Posts pagination

« 1 2 3 4 … 6 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • New Abbotsford AHL Team to Be Named the Knackzoats
    June 30, 2021
  • Mennonite Couple to Replace Harry and Meghan at Buckingham Palace
    January 13, 2020
  • Mennonite Couple Celebrate Valentine’s Day By Ordering the Cheapest Thing on the Menu
    February 13, 2026
  • Lodged Perogy Costs Blue Jays World Series
    November 2, 2025
  • Road Closures Cut Off Paska Supply
    April 15, 2022

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved