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abbotsford

The Daily Bonnet

City of Abbotsford to be Renamed “Basically Vancouver”

July 22, 2019 Andrew

BASICALLY VANCOUVER, BC In a radical rebranding effort meant to accurately reflect the perceptions of outsiders, the city of Abbotsford, BC, recently passed a motion to rename the community Basically Vancouver. “We also considered More-or-Less […]

Unger Games

Calgary Mayor Handily Defeated by Abbotsford Mayor in Crokinole Match

April 5, 2017 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Abbotsford Mayor Henry Braun took on all competitors and came out as the clear victor at the annual Canadian Mayor’s Crokinole Tournament this past weekend. Braun faced Naheed Nenshi in the final match and scored an […]

The Daily Bonnet

Clearbrook Votes to Secede from Abbotsford

February 7, 2017 Andrew

CLEARBROOK, BC After a long and divisive campaign that dominated headlines across Canada, the Mennonite churches of Clearbrook, British Columbia have voted overwhelmingly in favour of seceding from the City of Abbotsford. “We’re sick and […]

The Daily Bonnet

Manitoba Couple Visits Abbotsford Relatives Never to Return

July 24, 2016 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC A newly married couple from Morden, Ben and Emma Doerksen, recently visited frintschoft in British Colombia on their honeymoon this July, and have decided to stay on the west coast permanently. “We just knew […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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