Steinbach Residents to Get Bolt Cutters in their Stockings this Christmas

STEINBACH, MB

After the heroic display by Steinbach’s now infamous counter-protestor, bolt cutters have been flying off the shelves at local stores offering curbside pickup.

“I was thinking of getting my Nettie a pair of brown nylons like always, but I figured I’d go with bolt cutters this year,” said Mr. Fehr. “Yay, Bolt Cutter Guy!”

Bolt cutters can be ordered safely over the phone or online, and local retailers are really seeing a boost.

“We’ve also seen a run on hedge trimmers for some reason,” said Mr. Thiessen, manager of Thiessen Tools and Plautz Emporium on Main Street. “Hey, you know, whatever floats your boat, I guess.”

Anyone who’s been good this year will be getting a high end bolt cutter, while local anti-maskers will be getting a lump of coal and a $1300 fine.

(photo credit: Mark Pilgrim/CC)

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