Elders Warn that Morden, Manitoba is Full of ‘Aufjefollna’ Mennonites


Cousin Pieta of Reinland was spotted cruising down the highway to Morden this past week and was immediately branded as ‘aufaulle‘ by the village purity committee.

Diestchlaund, that cousin Pieta, heading to Morden yet!” said Taunte Lina. “Doesn’t he know we have a perfectly good Chicken Chef right nearby in Vankla. Looks like he’s an aufjefollna for sure yet!”

Pieta later explained he just wanted to check out the selection of organs at the thrift store and had no ideas his actions would have him branded as an aufjefollna.

“Morden is full of aufjefollna Mennonites. There are almost as many aufjefollna in Morden as there are in Vanapag. Thrift store or no thrift store, I just don’t know why he’d want to associate with such people,” said Taunte Lina. “It’s going to take a lot of meetings with the elders to get that young man back into the fold.”

The elders were very disturbed by the news about young Pieta and have warned parishioners to avoid going to Morden, especially unaccompanied, lest they, too, be branded as aufaulle.

“Espashly if they go to that ebolution museum,” said Elder Johan. “That place is full of aufjefollna Mennonites and even some fossils for sure yet.”

Meanwhile, the Morden Aufjellna Society is meeting at the pub for a few rounds this Friday night at eight.

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